My life has always been a complicated one. I was born to a mother that couldn’t raise me, adopted by a grandmother on my dad’s side that frankly should have never been a mother, yet raised all my life from a baby to a family unrelated to me, but became the people who loved me and the ones I now call my God family, my true family.
Over the past 18 years I have had more run-ins with my grandmother then I could count and I have never once had 10 minutes in her presence without her threatening or yelling at me. Our relationship was always nonexistent. I have lived with my God family all my life and have only ever visited my grandmother, but that’s never stopped her from finding ways to emotionally attack me.
It sucks that I can’t say I’m suprised about what happened today. Supposedly someone stole the plates from my car but were caught and the police had the person arrested. The police took the plates to the station and my God family and I drove to go pick it up. Low and behold my grandmother was there (She had been calling and causing commotion all day) and she got in my God moms face yelled at her asked for the keys which my God mom gave to her and headed outside to where I was sitting in the car with my God dad reading a book. My grandmother (who also brought a long time friend with her and her friends children with her) proceeded to say she was going to take the car. When I got out of the car and she went in my face saying if I wasn’t going to speak to her for a minute, I choose not to anwer and my God family and I (my God mom and dad both elderly and my God sister) started a four hour journey to walk all the way home. (Even though my grandmother said she would drive us back there was no way we were not going to walk because if I went in that car there would be a yelling fest of the century and I was too angry to get in a car with someone that literally just took away the only car my God family and I had. (That would be like getting in the car with someone who just knifed you in the gut).
Honestly, there is way way more to this story as it is also related to more then 18 years of being hurt by the same woman, but honestly I could write a book about my history and it would suck because this episode while the worst recently isn’t the worst of all time.
I’m upset. I’m angry. I’m feeling emotionally drained and sad. I’m hurting and I fear that this is only the beginning of worse things. I generally try to post positivity on here, but this was such an insane thing that I needed to share or else risk emotional implosion.
If you are religious your prayers are appreciated. If you are not your good will is also appreciated. However, the one thing I really need right now is happy thoughts. So send me a link to something that made you laugh or a picture of a cute animal or anything happy and animal related really. Knowing that I can still smile in the face of all this mess is a comfort to me and knowing that I’m smiling at something you have also smiled at is a true blessing and a comfort.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this. I’m terribly sorry that this isn’t my usual positive Bookish post. I almost didn’t post anything at all, but I don’t think I could do that. This blog keeps me sane and your comments always make me smile.
-Till next time.