Our first book of the month: My Heart and Other Black Holes, is centered around probably one of the most hard-hitting topics in mental health: suicide. This topic is an ugly one, but also a very important one to discuss.
Here is a deeply personal story of my connection to this topic.
I had an Uncle in my family.. let’s call him Uncle J. This uncle, he had problems with alcohol, probably was part of his depression, but he never discussed that with anyone as far as I know. The most important part of his character for me however, was that he was always a great father for his kids. I never once saw him happier then when they were in his life, but then again a lot of things in his life hit him a bit too hard.
In the end he committed suicide. I don’t know why. I was never close enough to him to know. I don’t think even his daughters could have ever known why. But what broke my heart was his daughters reactions. They spiraled into deep depression for a while. Just looking at their faces for a moment and you could see a brokenness. It was a long long time before I ever saw them look normal again. I… I don’t truly have words for what that must have been like for them.
When something like that happens, that’s when you truly see that even though you may be one whole person, but their are more people then you could ever know in your corner and rooting for you. Suicide is nothing to romanticize. Even I have nightmares of the way things went down. So many complications, so many strings, so many awful emotions.
So when it comes to depression, if your someone who believes in giving that person time to think through everything and leaving them alone in their grief, please don’t. Even if it’s just staying in a room with someone while they are sobbing, or staying with someone when they have expressed darker thoughts, don’t leave them alone. Be the person that saves that kid of the bridge who makes a final decision in that single moment. And if ever someone comes to you asking to talk or for help of any kind don’t leave them alone, be there, sometimes something you think may be insignificant can be monumental for someone else in a darker state.
Also if you are in a darker state please call the number that is the title of the song linked above: 1-800-273-8255
Thanks for reading. I know that this got to pleading real quick, but for me all the things said here needed to be said. I have been at a point in my life where everything came crashing down and those thoughts those self-loathing encrusted thoughts flooded in. Without support from my family, without a God mom who made sure she never left me alone when I wanted to be alone in the bathroom sobbing my eyes out I don’t know where I would be.
Sign up for the Beyond The Surface book club on Goodreads here: https://www.goodreads.com/group/show/235823-beyond-the-surface
-Till next time!