Now you may be wondering, Tiana ‘why in the world are you writing this? It’s no where near New Years. It’s the middle of the year. What are you doing?’ To which I would reply with simply, ‘I was thinking about this. I got angry. I had to share my thoughts with all of you.’
Anyway the why I am writing this is not the point. The point is that New Years comes every year and every year people choose to commit to being a ‘new me’. We all want to eat better, loose weight, read more, write more, drink more water, but the trouble is with all that good intention it’s easy to commit to it for a short while, but once you stop progressing it’s super easy to start regressing.
I feel like the time of the beginning of the year or the beginning of the month always seem like easy good times to think about and create goals, but as good as it is to have a plan to do better.. I think it might be more important to have a plan to keep going or to allow yourself to make adjustments when life happens. Changing small before changing big and being able to edit how you tackle your days as needed.
Figuring this out for myself was so crucial in my ability to keep bouncing back after giving in to temptation. I have given myself so many do-overs and changed things many different times until I had what I really wanted to do figured out. Right now, I know I have work M-F that doesn’t change. I know that I want to loose weight. That I want to be an author and never stop writing for this blog. I know that I want to be able to speak and read in other languages. Most importantly, I know I never want to stop reading.
These goals have become a set sort of aspirations for me. Every year at New Years, I try to create a way of me incorporating everything, but I always get the portion sizes wrong. When I stopped thinking of tackling goals as a specific thing that happens within a year or a month. When I stopped thinking about wanting a specific result that must happen in a specific amount of time or else I have failed completely and started to think about things day to day in the present. I began to make and see real progress.
Right now, I have begun to exercise. I write for this blog more then I ever have before. I’ve begun to really get a set understanding of Spanish (though I have a long way to go). I’ve written poetry everyday. I’ve began to write for my current WIP everyday and it is now at over 14,000 words which is something I’m very proud of. I have begun a mindfulness practice that has helped me stay calm and change my perspective. Plus, I’ve finally let myself have the time to actually sit down and watch a movie with my family instead of continuously watching YouTube video after YouTube video. My reading has been cut down to an hour a day, but honestly I have found that it is enough for me (plus I let myself read more when I find extra time).
I know that the way I do things now will change as I get older. I know that life will lead me to make time for more languages and more writing. One day, I hope that Writing would be my career. That instead of writing my 500 words in 30 minutes and having a goal to finish first drafts in 3 months might transform to me writing for an hour to several hours everyday and having it be my career. But for now I am making slow daily progress towards everything I would like to be. The important thing that it is progress. That it’s something I don’t give up on because I restart again and again each morning when I wake up. That I don’t look back on yesterday as success or failure, but look forward to what I can do today in this moment.
That is why I consider New Years resolutions to be BS. Yes they are inherently good. Yes for some they can even work, but for the majority of us changing our routines too quickly just doesn’t work. Allowing yourself to change gradually is super important. Figuring out what you want for yourself and making realistic small goals you can accomplish each day and being able to change them as needed without guilt is important. In this world there is no other time then now.
Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think about this down in the comments below. What are your dreams and aspirations?
-Till next time!
I FEEL this. And it’s so true, and you’re never going to change a habit or start eating healthy or exercising unless YOU really want to and unless YOU push yourself. It’s not going to be because it’s a New Year and you have to keep to your resolutions. I started eating healthy on a Wednesday about 2 weeks ago because I was like, “I’ve had enough. I want to be healthy. No more of this, ‘next week/next month/next year’ I’ll start bull crap. I’m going to do it and I’m going to do it now.”
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I’m so happy you resonated with this! It’s something I feel like we are all brainwashed into thinking that I’ll do it next year, next week mindset. Throughout school I was the person that always finished everything at the last minute and yeah I did good in school, but I wonder now if I had taken it more seriously at the time where I could have gotten. It’s awesome that you thought about what you wanted to change and actually did something about it in the now! It’s super important that we all reach our goals and feel good about ourselves!
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Fantastic post! I myself don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions (I even did a whole rant on it on my old blog years ago) because I feel they’re a way of us feeling like we’re changing or doing something big when we’re actually not, and it’s a bit of a copout I think. We’re tricking ourselves to believe we’ve made up our minds to do something, but like you say, that’s only true if we’re open to shifting our goals and making it work every single day. THAT’S true dedication, rather than just an empty declaration at the beginning of the year lol.
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I’m glad you enjoyed my post. I think the idea of having a resolution and making change is good, but the way it is executed or really not really executed at all for most people makes me annoyed with it. It is an excuse for a lot of people. That they’ll try again next year when things don’t work out. Plus it’s easy to fail once and just keep failing because temptation grabbed you and you keep giving in because you can just choose to try to change it next year. In that way the concept is problematic
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I agree! The idea of resolutions itself is perfectly fine, but the idea that we should put it off until next year automatically sets us up to fail (and we’re using that as an excuse to not try anymore). Resolutions should be a fluid concept like you say, subject to adjustment. 🙂
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I agree with what you wrote. I stopped making New Year’s Resolutions a long time ago – I never stuck to them, and felt like a failure. What I do now is break down my goals by each month, and I post them on my blog. It’s made a big difference – I find myself looking at the goals posts multiple times, and it had truly been a boost to my accountability, drive, and motivation. Plus, I know several readers enjoy the posts and love cheering me on. I feel like I get great support and motivation from my readers, and I love it. My big goal is to finish my current WIP (with at least 50,000 words, or more) by the end of 2018. My best friend is going to edit the first draft. I’m really excited about it!
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It’s really awesome that you make monthly goal posts! I think I’ve seen a few of them and I’ve enjoyed reading them myself. It also really sucks that New Years resolutions make us feel like failures when we don’t make it. Especially when trying to do what you want to do everyday is in itself a success.
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I agree with your perspective, although it was a New Year’s resolution that broke my smoking habit. Changes are definitely more sustainable when we adhere to the twists and turns life inevitably tosses our way. Yes, I would love to become an author one day myself. Good luck to you and all your pursuits!!!
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That’s awesome that a New Years resolution broke your smoking habit! It’s definitely not all bad, but it’s how easy they can be not to keep that bothers me most. Plus we should all be working towards our dreams and aspirations everyday no matter what.
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I gave up making New Year’s Resolutions when it became obvious I never keep them. Half the time, I just forgot about them! I think you’re right that keeping them needs structure and dedication. Like, instead of “write more,” I’d have to say “I will write every day from 600-7:00, no exceptions” or something and then put notes everywhere to remind myself.
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Exactly we need structure, but we also need to give room for flexibility. Balance is super important too.
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