In what has been the craziest 2 years of my life emotionally I went through many avenues of change, mentally, physically, and environmentally. Every time I think of the sheer amount of stuff that has happened I go nuts. In the same two years I hit one of my lowest lows and now I’ve reached the highest point of happiness since I was a little kid. However, that part of my journey is for another time. Right now, I want to talk about something that fills me with pride. The fact that I took control of one of the few things I have control over and worked hard and got noticeable results.
Let’s talk high school graduation. In 2016 I graduated high school with honors. I hadn’t been playing volleyball anymore or doing to much exercise wise and I weighed 158 pounds back then. For my body that’s not so bad because of the places my body carries fat and because of my height which is about 5’6″. At that point I didn’t really want to gain more and I wasn’t exactly happy with my weight, but for the most part it wasn’t something I thought about too much.
In my first and only year at a physical college I gained a little weight getting to about 162 pounds. I started to worry about it a little, but the end of that first year was when shit hit the fan for me at home and I could no longer afford to go to the university I was at and instead started college classes online so I could work.
Transitioning from college student to working girl at the age of 18 was really hard on me. I didn’t really know how to handle it emotionally. Things were no longer about the good times and working towards the future I wanted. They were about struggling every day to make ends meet, working pay check to pay check, and trying to figure out how to breath underneath all that stress. At first, I didn’t deal with everything all that well and at that point food became comforting to me… especially junk food. Before I turned around I was 168 pounds looking in the mirror and realizing that if I didn’t do something and do it right then and there I was going to end up really fat with a lot of health problems like my grandmother and with a whole plethora of body image issues.
At first I didn’t know what to do. I had never ever lost weight before. Growing up I was pretty much always at the right weight for my body and didn’t ever have a weight issue until that point. The one thing I knew was to watch what I was eating. At the time whenever I was even a little hungry I would snack. I didn’t pay attention to what I put in my body and I suffered for it. However, the big starting point came from a video buzzfeed did 7 months ago called We did 100 Squats a Day for 30 Days . I watched it and an idea started brewing in my head and I thought why not try it?
It took me about 2 weeks, but eventually I decided to give it a go. At first, I didn’t notice any changes in myself and really it didn’t matter. What mattered was the action of doing those squats everyday. I was only going to do them for the 30 Days, but I realized that I liked doing it so I never stopped. Of course, I have days I don’t do them. Sometimes I feel a little lazy or my life is being hectic, but most days I get up and do them.
About 2 months into it I started thinking seriously about my food intake (which I feel is the major factor in me loosing the weight). I downloaded a fitness app and looked at my caloric intake and turned myself into a science experiment. For a while I tracked everything I ate. Doing so allowed me to realize just how much food I was eating and how many calories some foods had and not others. It taught me something about portions and eating just enough for my body. Now I don’t use it anymore. I’ve gotten to where I listen to my body and know what is and isn’t too much.
At about month 4 I had a lot of change in the way my jeans were fitting.. they began to be looser.. then looser still.. then much looser and I had to buy new jeans.. and then (they are the jeans I wear now) I noticed they too were not as tight as when I first put them on.
Then two months ago I added 100 crunches to my daily routine because I was loosing more on the bottom then around my stomach and I wanted to change that. It wasn’t long till I started to see that my figure that had once started to get boxy now has a waist. Even my face started to become noticeably thinner.
Today, I am back at 158 pounds. Back to where I begun. 10 pounds in 7 months. It’s not some crazy weight-loss journey. But it’s my very real journey of change and it is still ongoing. I’m still loosing weight. I don’t really have a goal. It isn’t even really about the scale number. All I wanted was to feel healthy in my own skin again. To have the ability to have the clothes I liked to fit and fit well. To feel strong and confident in my own skin again. That is something that I’m happy to say I’ve feel like I’ve accomplished.
I am still continuing on with this journey. This isn’t something I want to give up on after all the hard work and progress. So in the next few months I think I will be able to say that I look and feel better then I ever have. That my body would look better then it did in high school. That I took control of one of the few things I had control over and took something I’d been insecure about for so long and made a change for myself. I’d always wanted to have an athletic build. To feel powerful in my own skin. To do everything I needed to in a day and not feel so exhausted. I’m actually getting to that point.
From now on, I am making it a point to put my health first. To continue shaping myself into the person I always had the potential to be. One of the greatest parts about this journey has been this: it taught me that small steps can have a huge impact.. that if you want something to happen you have to work for it.. that when you take steps towards a healthier you a healthier mindset follows.
It gives me a feeling of great wonder to see in the next 7 months where I’ll be.
Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.
-Till next time!