This blog has become very personal recently, and honestly I like it. Sharing my ups and downs and more what’s going on with me, especially when there has been a lot going on with me recently is pretty cool. Being able to remain open and honest about my anxieties, depression from events that have past, and what I’m healing mentally is really awesome! I’m very grateful to have a platform where I can be real with others.
That being said today was another nice day. It’s a day I needed. It’s also a day I think my family needed too. Myself, my mom, and my sister went to visit some relatives on my mom’s side and it was a pretty chill (also cold) and relaxing day. I may have felt tired all day, but I ate some great food, learned how to play a game called Mexican Train, and got to go on a nice walk with my niece and nephew. We were on a quest to fly a drone that just didn’t pan out, but otherwise it was a nice walk.
It feels weird, but I’m relaxing into life after a long time of feeling afraid of it. Even when I was happy about it I was afraid that the happiness would go away, but now I’m really feeling cool with whatever comes and goes and that feeling is amazing.
2018 in general has been a big year for me, but I’ve grown a lot especially mentally this year. I’m more in tune now with what I want and how I feel then I’ve ever been and I’m genuinely excited for the first time to see what 2019 brings. Before I was honestly terrified, but now I have an odd peaceful feeling about it. It feels like a year I purged a lot of emotion. Old wounds that have now mostly healed. Especially wounds that I didn’t realize I had.
As crazy as it is to say I feel like I needed to go through all the difficult things I went through this year so that I could become stronger as a person. Because I do feel stronger. Yeah, I hurt a lot this year. I dealt with a lot of general unhappiness. I also didn’t deal with certain things in the best way. But, I’m human and I’m still learning. I think no matter how old you get there is still something to learn. I’m only 20, I’m going to make a lot of mistakes in my life. I just have to make it a point to try my best.
Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.
-Till next time!
The Book Raven 
Happy New Year to you, Tiana. I share a quote on mistakes in life, inspiring!!
“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.
So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.” ― Neil Gaiman
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What a great quote! I’m going to try to live by it! I don’t want to hold myself back anymore. This new year is going to be something special. I can feel it.
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Happy New Year, Tiana!
I’m glad you’re feeling more relaxed and more at peace. It took me a long time to reach a similar level of peace and contentment. At 30, I definitely feel happy with my life. I have a wonderful husband, a great support system, a house, a good job, two sweet dogs, and a promising future.
I know you will continue to do great things. I think many of us are ready for the New Year, which to me symbolizes a blank page, a fresh start.
“Tomorrow is a blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.”
~ Brad Paisley
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I’m definitely working on writing a great story for my life in the new year. I’m trying to do it by being more open and honest with myself and even letting myself be selfish sometimes. I’m excited to see what the new year brings!
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I’m glad spending this time with your family has allowed you to begin to heal and find the peace you needed.
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Definitely! It was a nice time away from monotony. I really needed it.
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