Randomly I was having a conversation with my boyfriend and Wattpad came up. It was a site I used to read so many books on, but also it is the place where I wrote my first ever book. It is short and bite sized and it is called “Confessions of a Teenage Writer”
I wrote this while hoping to finish at least one other draft of a novel. Yet, this became the first thing I ever finished and I’ve only finished one other draft of something since.
Looking back and reading the comments on this book made me want to sob. I hadn’t really looked at this book or anything on Wattpad since 2016. Yet, when I wrote it I realized I had effected others. I had accomplished what I had wanted to do so badly and so early on.
People had connected with my work. They had thought it beautiful. They’d encouraged me to keep writing, but in their eyes I already was a writer. The titles I have not thought I could claim for myself in recent years, but I am both writer and author. Again I feel the tears come.
Lately, I have been able to start the process of writing again. Currently, my project is in the idea phase. I truly don’t know much about it and it’s come in bits and pieces. Lately, everything in my life has felt like a gentle stream nudging me back to the passion I have had for so many years, to write.
For a single day at my work there was a young girl that came and of all things she wanted to be a writer. She worked for a day only. Yet, listening to her. Hearing how she hadn’t finished anything because she had all these ideas in her head and couldn’t commit to one I felt so inspired and nostalgic for who I was when I first began writing. It felt electrifying to remember and to understand that this was me coming back home to myself.
It’s felt like the universe has been telling me it’s ok. It’s ok that I needed the time I did, but the time is right now. It’ll be ok.
For now, my toes feel like they are dipping in this water. Preparing for the way I will wish to go. Where I will begin.
So, I have begun here. Waking up at 5:30 in the morning to write blog posts. I’ve started reading again. Started to think about an idea and build it out. All these things will soon build out and eventually I will be flowing in this gentle river until I make small stops on my journey when I finish the first draft, when I’m editing, when I’m hoping to see if there’s a home in publishing for my story, and again starting a whole new idea.
I am here. I am ready. I am inspired and hopeful. The best yet I am smiling. I appreciate so much the younger version of me who went for writing so head on and with such passion. Who read books every single day and couldn’t imagine she’d breath well in a day without at least ingesting a single chapter. Turns out for the most part it became true. I haven’t been able to come back to myself for so long. Now is the time. I want to shout that. Now is the time!
This feels so wonderful.
THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!
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