New Years Goals 2022

I have thought about what I wanted to do for this year for a good long time. I gave myself December to relax and feel good and prepare myself for 2022. I want to do a lot this year. In a very focused and determined way. I’m so excited.

The first thing I wanted to focus on was going back to school and become a pharmacy tech to make enough money to better support my family. At the same time after doing that working towards being a pharmacist.

In writing I wanted to focus on writing four first drafts this year. So one draft every three months. Starting with a pseudo paranormal horror that I’ve had in my brain forever. Which also means I’ll be watching some fun paranormal horror movies over the coming months to immerse myself in that mindset.

Also in writing I wanted to see if I could write a poetry book and self publish it. As of right now I’m not sure what theme it will have, but I’ll figure it out soon enough.

The last thing in writing I wanted to blog post every day. Which I feel like will actually happen this year because I’m going to have a monthly gift to myself for accomplishing my goals for each individual month.

As for reading I would like to start reading much more often and I hope to complete reading at least 50 books in 2022. To help with this I’m doing a monthly book exchange with a friend sharing our favorite books. For January I’m lending her Starfish and I can’t wait to hear what she thinks. Other then the book she’ll lend me, I will also be reading The Assignment by Liza Wiemer, Replica by Lauren Oliver, and Jack Kerouac is Dead to me by Gae Polisner. As well as two DC comics I was behind reviewing.

My other goal is exercise and it has my favorite prize attached to it if I keep it up all the way into September which is this super awesome Harley Quinn “Kill the Justice League” cosplay that I will buy and feel like a badass in should I keep my fitness goals throughout the year.

For January if I keep my goals I want to get myself this custom Red Riot Sweater. Something that I know I’ll never want to take off and that I’ll feel like I can do anything in. Which will be the perfect thing to wear over the year I want to do so much in.

This year will be about staying positive and motivated and progressing forward and embracing my life. I know that life happens and it can get difficult but I’m so ready to take on this year and do the best I possibly can.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! Let me know what your goals are for 2022!

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Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources:

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

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New Beginning

Yesterday, I had a depressive episode. It felt like everything I wanted to do I couldn’t do for one reason or another. That my life was full of stresses at every turn and I could not handle any more of it. So many of my goals I’ve wanted to achieve I’ve let go of because life just is so much right now. Every turn another obstacle to face. Another thing that made me want to turn into myself and just watch something funny or play a game for hours to just feel that bit of relief.

I have bottled up my emotions for so long that last night it tipped over and I broke down. However, I know my life is in my hands. That I can chose to take a new path. Hit the reset button. Go another way. So that’s what I’m going to do.

I’m going to prioritize the things I’ve been wanting to do for ages. Reading, writing, exercise, but also maintaining a place in my mind of well-being. To make sure I’m taking care of my mental health and actually enjoying what I can of life.

The past few months have been all about that enjoyment, but in between that, the moments I’d forget. The moments my mind remembered that stuff is hard. That I’m living a life where things could change completely and flip me around again in a moments notice. That one day I’ll wake up and my dad will no longer be here. Which has been the route of a lot of the sadness I’ve been feeling. Watching my dad deteriorate more and more all the time.

Yet, I want to live a good and happy life. I want to show my family that I can create something wonderful for myself. To write something I’d be excited to read. To inspire others to follow their passions. To be an uplifter whether that’s in my home or walking in a grocery store or having a small interaction online.

So today and the next and the next will be my new beginnings. My next chance to do what I’ve intended to do with passion and with love. I want things to be better in all aspects of my life. To have the timing of a dancer moving from one moment to the next with a sense of joy. I don’t just want to take action through life with a sense of obligation. I want to take action with fervor. With joy and with excitement. With a sense of ease.

So that’s what I’m going to do. To let go of the sense that I’m doing things out of obligation. But, to take action in a feeling of love. That starts here in this moment, writing this post, with that feeling that I can do this. That I can be a person who lives with joy in their hearts in spite of the hard stuff. To handle those things and give love to them as well. To cry when I need to but not let it define me and stop me from living a life of vibrancy.

So to the many of you who’ve been reading my blog for a long time and who seen me disappear and reappear again and again, I can say that I am finally back. Fully and truly back. This blog has brought to me some of the most amazing moments of my life. It’s where I’ve felt the most like I do in this moment. Fully alive. Fully enjoying the things I love and getting excited and sharing these moments with all of you.

Thank you all of you for reading! I truly appreciate every one of you. There is so much more to come and I can’t wait to share all that’s in store in the coming days, weeks, and months. It’ll be a blast!

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter! 

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website! 

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter! 

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Good Morning to All!

Good morning everyone! It may or may not be morning when your reading this, but as I’m writing this it’s 7:23 am, and so, it’s a good morning from me.

I have decided that today, March 11th, 2020, is the day that I get back to an old routine of productivity that works for me. I wake up everyday at 5:30. Do my yoga and take a shower. Get ready to tackle the day. Then I write.

This schedule allows me to be incredibly productive. I can write a lot. I can read more. It allows me the ability to be fully present later in the day not worrying about getting anything else done, because I tackled it first thing in the morning. It’s one of the most successful routines I’ve ever had.

In the recent weeks and since the beginning of this year really, I’ve felt the most free I’ve been in my entire life. I’ve found my joy. Something I’ve been basking in and feeling wonderful about for a long while. Now, I’m adding in productivity. Taking care of myself in a better way has been accomplished. It’s now time to be passionate. To get up everyday and to do the things I love to do. To become more the woman I know that I can be. Someone strong, goal-oriented, who steadily does the things she loves, and who allows herself to evolve a bit every single day.

So to everyone I say good morning! Each and everyday is a new one. The ability to create a new way for yourself is available each and everyday. All you have to do is decide and then start.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter! 

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website! 

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter! 

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

My Thoughts on 2019

Words cannot express how happy I am with where I am in life right now. 2019 started off absolutely terribly. I was not in a good mental health state. I hope was hurting deeply and all I wanted was happiness for myself and everyone involved in the situation that occurred then.

However, because that occurred and because I got so upset with the fact that all I wanted was to feel joy and that I wanted to feel that alongside the people that I love and that I wasn’t living that at the time it allowed me to choose differently for myself. It allowed me to see myself for who I really am. Someone who loves so incredibly deeply and with every inch of her soul. Something that meant that I knew what it was to love unconditionally and that I needed to turn that love inward so that I could live that in my everyday life.

This year was defined by that decision. It took so many inward conversations. So much patience for myself. So much self-soothing and self-care. Then, day after day one improvement became several and it grew and grew to where I no longer felt depression or anxiety period. I gently soothed my depression and anxiety out of existence.

Needless to say I am so proud of myself. So proud of this reality I am now living. One where I have made my joy and my relationship with myself to be the number one most important thing in my life. That by doing so I have created in myself a joyous person all the time. So much so that it is noticeable by those around me.

Doing this allows me to be the wholeness that I am with all who I am with. It lets everyone off the hook of having to be a certain way or do a certain thing in order for me to be happy. I just am. It is the gift I will give to every friend I have. Every coworker and every family member. It will be the gift I give to my significant other in the future. The gift of me taking responsibility for creating my own joy and following it and not making anyone be my excuse to not be happy.

One of my deepest wishes for all human beings is for everyone to experience the fullness of joy that they possibly can for themselves. It is why I have started walking this path of my own joy. Because it would be the greatest gift I could give to myself and everyone in my life would benefit from it.

It is something that is never done, because there is always more and more fun to be had and more and more fun ready to be realized, but to have realized this by the end of the year and to have changed so deeply from it is incredible to me.

I can’t say how much I’ve experienced more fun and more good things just from appreciating every moment of fun and everything that brings me joy in the moment they are there. 2019 has been the set up for what I know will be the best year of my life in 2020. I have no idea what it will look like or what will be in store, but I know that my life is going to continue to change and I can’t wait to embrace it!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter! 

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website! 

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter! 

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

What Happened to September?

In a few short days it will be October.. October already!? I can’t believe it. September has been one of the craziest most beautiful months of my life. I may not have been as productive this month, but I’m proud of what I have done and I think that is worth something.

One of the things I never imagined for myself was being in a relationship. I mean.. I imagined it, but I didn’t think it would ever actually happen. It doesn’t really help that I can be pretty particular about who I fall for (except I can’t really control it so I guess that doesn’t matter). Not only that, but to be in a relationship with a guy who is so caring and supportive and just all around wonderful. I couldn’t ask for more.

The thing about this is that I’m not used to it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be used to it. Every time I see his face I just get this really incredible happy feeling and I never thought I’d feel that way for someone. Falling in love and falling in love this fast was something I thought was reserved for the books I read. Apparently, love can be like a wildfire.

Talking with him at first I knew I wanted to get to know him. Instantly he fascinated me. But the more we talked the more I knew that I wanted more. At first, I knew I wanted to discuss books with him and writing and whatever else, I knew somehow from the start that we’d make very fast friends. Uhh.. I didn’t expect that we’d have fallen so quickly for each other though.

The two of us can talk about anything..literally anything and it’s wonderful. So due to him being the wonderful human that he is, I’ve been happier then I’ve ever been in my life. For the first time in forever I made it a point to enjoy every moment of my time. I let myself just be. I have been somewhat productive and I’ve had some really productive days and some where all I wanted to do was listen to music and maybe watch a movie and read and so I’d let myself do those things. It feels like I blinked my eyes and September is almost ending.

Falling in love has taught me one really special thing though. That no matter what is happening in life there is always something beautiful to hold on to and enjoy no matter how small. That it’s ok to let go of your worry for a while and that problems may exist, but that doesn’t mean it should be all that consumes you. You can choose to let go of your problems (not ignore them) but to realize that they are going to be there at the end of the day and you can deal with them as you need to, but you don’t have to let that impede on your happiness.

Sometimes life can be really really hard. However, sometimes the most unexpected and beautiful things happen to lift you out of the dark. I am so grateful to feel this happy. To realize I don’t need much to feel that way. It comes with seeing a smile, hearing a voice, the sound of a laugh. That’s something that feels so very special.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this. Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

Thank You, Markiplier!

I wasn’t going to make a post today. In truth, mostly out of laziness and other parts simply not feeling like writing anything at all. However, by some miracle I had the day off work today and by some other miracle I divided to click on a video that helped me to remember some of the things I feel are most important.

A video called THIS GAME IS SO IMPORTANT | Hearts and Heroes by Markiplier.

I have never mentioned it before but I am a huge YouTube gaming fan and one of my favorite people to watch whom I’ve watched for years has been Markiplier. Watching this 4 hour 21 minutes video in one sitting is oddly enough one of the things I truly needed to see and do at this point in my life.

You see for me, I’ve always struggled because I’ve always wanted to create something that made people feel the happiness and joy that the books and authors and creators on YouTube have given me… and for so many years Markiplier has been both an inspiration and someone I deeply admire. This video reminded me that we all start from the tiniest of seeds and that if we reach out into the world and take baby steps someday sooner then you would ever expect your dreams come true.

This video made me cry (I’m still crying writing this) because I’m at in a point in my life where I feel like I’m floundering and yet so many good things have happened up until now that I feel I should be immensely proud of. Such as this platform… this blog that I have neglected and tried to get back to and failed to and tried again, this blog that has almost 2,000 followers… 2,000… and to think that I reached that in just over a year baffles me.

The person in my life that haunted me most is no longer a shadow on my shoulder. Everything that they ever did to try and keep me from the people and things I loved most have been completely reversed and the freedom I know feel from that is inexplainable. I will probably discuss that more in detail in a later post because it is something that means so much to me and I think I finally want to share that with everyone.

Yet, there are so many things that I have yet to settle within myself. So many wants and hopes and things that I almost dare not dream or think of. Yet this post makes me want to dare to dream them. Being an author. Starting my own YouTube channel. Continuing Beyond the Surface (more on this later). Learning Spanish. Learning other languages. Being a poet. Going to Japan. Finding love. Being someone I can be proud of. Doing things that I never even imagined.

The creators of the game Hearts and Heroes spent 2 whole years of their lives creating it. The resulting product resonated with me so strongly I’ve been beside myself because of it. It makes me think of the dedication, hope, and love that we all should always put forth in every single thing we do and want to do and into every interaction we have.

This game filled with characters of all shapes and sizes feels like it was made to inspires all those people who have fear in their hearts to dare think to go after what they hope for in life. Maybe it’s unrealistic, maybe it’s getting lost in a fantasy, but the hope, the hope is so very real.

So, to you out there reading this I just want to say thank you! Accomplishing the changes and hopes that we want in this world takes a community of people and you guys, you guys are my very own little community and for that I am grateful.

I wish for all your dreams to come true whatever they may be.

Thanks so much for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! I’ve finally stopped crying.. gosh this made me feel all the feels.

-Till next time!

What Makes Us Happy

In a post I titled A Question I asked you all: What in this world makes you happiest? Now, I have gathered up all your answers and put them together, in this post filled with love that puts a smile on my face. 

This is what makes us happy: 

Anj from @seaweedbooks replied saying

There are a million things that make me feel happy! Of course, the first one being books. I also feel extremely happy when I accomplish things that have been on my to-do list for a very long time. Listening to music calms me to a great extent and I just cannot help smiling when I listen to my old favourites. They bring back so many memories! Cartooning also relieves my stress and makes me feel really relaxed.

Steff from @LittleBookyNook replied simply saying what makes her happy is

Books and animals! 

Martin from @SomeIdiotTalking replied saying: 

Too many to choose between! Being on holiday is a top one, stealing a bit of time in the middle of busy day is always good, loud music in the kitchen, a good book.

Charlotte from @TheUnicornWishes answered: 

Things that make me happy:

– Baking

– Music

– Reading

– My relationships (family, friends ect.)

– Good grades

Liis from @CovertoCover answered with this: 

When the people I love are happy, I feel happiest.. so, if there is joy shining through my parents and my husbands voice, I instantly feel elevated!

Not having to worry about one thing or another for a day is also something that makes me happy 

Ashley @InsideMyMinds replied saying: 

My family, volunteering at the local library, books, and music!

Shoto said: 

(Sorry for some reason I couldn’t get a link to your blog) 

Sophie @BlameItOnChocholate  answered with this:

Going for walks in quiet places that feel distant from civilization and all its chaos. It just brings me so much peace of mind!

Ava @BrilliantlyBookish answered: 

Reading, my friends, my close family, being in the library, finishing a piece of art, having long deep chats about important stuff, laughing until my stomach hurts but still not being able to stop, learning new things and a lot more! Thinking of what makes me happy has brightened my day!

Then well, then there is me…. What makes me happy? 

Looking at the stars and wondering how we see there lights long after they have already gone. 

Seeing my family smile when my mom has an argument with the dog. 

Seeing Gypsy (the family dog) bring home a pine cone in her mouth after going for a walk. 

Writing a new story after weeks without writing at all. 

Reading words and learning from them and experiencing life through thousands of different eyes. 

Feeling the warmth of my mom’s hand as she strokes my hair after a long day. 

Being here on this earth experiencing nature and being alive. 

Going on the internet and laughing at gamers, animals, and comedy skits. 

Listening to music and feeling the beat under my skin. 

Touching an animal, seeing one, or holding one in my hands. 

Sleeping and living in crazy worlds within my dreams. 

Smelling lovely sents, hearing birds chirp, singing out loud,  and the taste of wonderful food. 

All these things make me happy and so much more. One of the greatest things being this blog and all of you. Without you I know times right now would feel dismal. You all are such an inspiration to me. 

-Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed this and I hope you are thinking about what makes you happy. I think it’s necessary and healthy for us all to think about and appreciate all the little things about life and the world that makes us happy. Sometimes it is easy to forget and loose sight of. It’s something I work hard to keep close to my heart and in my memory. I hope you all are having a wonderful day and a great week. 

-Till next time!