Ruminations on Memory

It’s weird how something lying around the house mostly forgotten can be so full of memory 

A conversation you hadn’t thought of in ages 

Laughter tears a symbol of everything you wanted and thought you’d never have 

You look at it and hold it in your hands and maybe it brings you close to tears 

Maybe you just smile because it was a good memory 

Even if it was so long since it happened 

But mostly you wonder about how far things have gone 

You think of the lessons you’ve learned since 

And maybe you cry because the person you were in that memory will never exist again 

You’ll make new ones sure 

Good ones, bad ones, amazing and horrible ones 

And then another item you put away on a shelf will be long forgotten and it’ll hold that memory for you to find again someday 

I hope you make some good ones 

I hope those items hold more good then bad within them

And to those things that you throw away 

I hope they find new places to be remembered by 

Because there’s something beautiful about how wonderfully insignificant items are to everyone else 

But how you can pick something up and laugh about a bygone era a chapter you’ll never get back 

There’s something beautiful about those things we forget but carry with us throughout our days 

Little storage chests to keep the memories that would weigh too heavy on our hearts 

There’s something beautiful about being human 

I’ll keep that memory in my heart forever

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

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A Christmas Gift

That Christmas teddy bear

Underneath the tree

A special soft something

That Santa left for me

When the world felt cold and broken

I’d hug that teddy bear

Feel that soft sweet something

That made everything feel fair

A kindness from the red suit

The white bearded Santa Claus

A simple brown little teddy

Gave me a hope that it all would end

Mommy would say she loved me

Behind a genuine smile

And my dad would be there to kiss me

And sing me a lullaby

Ohh Santa I am so grateful

For the gift you gave to me

To see past the truth I’m seeing

To hope for new reality

At night I’ll sing a Noelle carol

And hold my teddy tight

And tomorrow will be better

By the end of my lullaby

A note: As a child, I always had stuffed animals. I never slept without them. I never thought about anything bad while holding one and they helped me to feel safe. I know that this poem is sad, but it is in essence a hopeful one. Those bad situations come to an end and there is always hope for bright spots in the future. Christmas to me is about hope and from that this poem was born.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

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Till next time!

The Voice of my Mind: A Review

The Voice of my Mind by T. A. Fish

My Rating: 3/5 stars

Cover Rating: 4/10 it’s simple and fits the title, but it’s not something that really stands out. It’s not something that would really attract my attention in a book store.

Publisher: Book Baby

Publish Date: June 1st, 2019

Number of Pages: 86

Received: Netgalley provided an e-arc in exchange for an honest review

Purchase: Amazon

Synopsis:

The Voice of My Mind, by author T. A. Fish, is an avant-garde poetry collection that took over 5 years to complete. Each poem is beautifully crafted with great virtuosity, that haunts with extreme depth and wonder. The collection deals with themes of grief, love, spiritual enlightenment, and philosophy. From beginning to end, the poems read in a mesmerizing and captivating style, expertly flowing from one theme to the next.

Opening Poem:

Treasure

The pyre of life Is a great treasure chest;

Pouring out All, Of the world’s best.

The fruit of men Is like a deep well;

To find the bottom Time will tell.

The love of God Is like a great vista view;

Endless in boundaries And beauty too.

The hate of the world Is an abominable snow;

Blinding in rage Of what it ought not know.

The knowledge of life Is knowing what is to gain;

Searching all truth And seeking in vain.

Musings:

I think one of the main issues with this collection is how much the same it is. The rhythms are all the same and it’s like reading one long redundant poem and no one wants that.

However, the reason why I rated this 3 stars is because there was 2 poems that I really did enjoy, but even those have the same redundant rhythm and I wish it didn’t.

I will share the one I liked the most with all of you:

Grim

The madness creeping deep within,

The lifeless body of a man named grim;

As a heartless beat quakes the thin,

Revenant who died and rose again.

Writhing and crawling with nary a shin,

Carrying a devilish smile,

disguised as a grin,

His twinkling eyes,

protrude through the dim,

Haze of blackness that encompass his skin.

Seeing a doppelganger claiming his twin,

The unrepentant soul of abhorrent sin,

Seeking to devour his spirited kin;

Dragging his corpse into the depths therein.

Screaming his last, from the pit, of the dungeon,

Never a fate so great and grim,

La fin.

I like this one because it was darker and it made me think of Halloween and creepiness. But, even re-reading it I don’t feel like it has a lasting impression.

Mostly, I just wanted there to be variety in the tone. It’s like the words no longer matter because there was no variety in the beat. It’s like the poetry is trying to be grander then it actually is. It’s not even that the poems themselves are bad. I feel like it’s all trying too hard.

All in all:

This collection had a lot of potential it never tapped into. It had some good topics and some good lines, but it fell lacking to redundancy. It’s a run of the mill poetry collection. Not terrible, but not great. Which is why I gave it the rating I did.

About the Author:

T. A. Fish is a Christian author, who spent over 5 years crafting the deep, provocative, and thought-provoking poetry collection The Voice of My Mind. “The Voice of My Mind is a journey of the human spirit; one that dives into the deepest and darkest crevices of the human mind, and then reaches for the heights of spiritual enlightenment and redemption. ” – T. A. Fish

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

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The Book Raven Poetry

Today is the day I finally began my own business venture! I am officially the owner of The Book Raven Poetry!

What it’s all about: The Book Raven Poetry is a personalized poetry business where you receive a poem about whatever you want! It can be about a person, a holiday, an idea, a place, anything at all! For only $8 bucks you will receive a completely customized poem on a unique background to digitally download to keep for yourself or give as a gift to a friend or family member!

An Example:

A one of a kind poem is available for purchase now on Etsy!

The Dream: So many of you have been with me from the very start. So it won’t be a surprise to most of you that I’m creating a business from my love of poetry. I’ve written many poems on this site. It would be my pleasure to write poems for all of you. Be it silly, sweet, an anniversary gift, something for your friends to enjoy. It feels incredible that I could create something along side other individuals that is totally unique and personalized to them. Something to make you smile.

A note of thanks: Thank you all for being there for me. This would have never come about without this blog nor the support of all of you. I can’t wait to write some great poetry for all of you!

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Perfection

Perfection is an ideology

Wrapped in a tight rope around our minds

We strive and strive to the standards that will always be moved one block above our heads unreachable

Let me say that again unreachable

Because the hands create the blocks and pile them up higher and higher

The video game buzzes “Ok”, “meh”, “perfect”

We climb and climb this ever growing mountain

And dig ourselves a hole of depression and anxiety piled up in our insecurity and worthlessness

We think perfection is the answer to love and all that’s holy, but the truth is we will never get there and acceptance

Well that’s the clarity

When you start to heal the expectation of being anything other then who you are

in every moment of bitterness

you cut the bindings

Suddenly your body is a masterpiece

Suddenly your happiness is within reach

Suddenly your not chasing your creating

Suddenly your not afraid of the societal definition of who you should be

Perfection is spoon fed into the mouths of all our children

Perfection is yelled into 4th grade track teams and football wannabes

Perfection is sewn into the fabric of our literal clothing

But, wouldn’t you be surprised to hear the places that make a profit from the defects

You see nothing you do is worthless

Especially not because that something was a mishap

We all make mistakes, thousands every day

So let’s stop kidding ourselves

Let’s give who we are some kindness

It’s ok. You are ok.

Let’s clean out all the madness

Peace is found in letting go of who we think we need to be

All the thoughts that cause you suffering don’t need to suffocate the joyful laughter that lives inside your ever passionate heart

Dust away those thoughts so you can create a reality of celebrating true humanity

Perfection doesn’t exist and it never did

So stop hurting

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! I wrote this poem on a whim like a majority of my poetry. It’s an idea I’ve been thinking about a lot. I hope you enjoyed!

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The Flow of Insight

When the sand falls away slipping through open fingers simply flip the scale and the sands start anew racing towards a destiny in the reverse direction.

Be like the child for the child doesn’t have care for what was or what is they take joy in their confusion and delight in each morsel of knowledge that comes their way.

Be like the mother who loves and does not count the child’s mishaps for in her eyes she sees only the love and in that purity nothing else matters.

Be like the air that flows and sustains life, it transforms endlessly and does not fear the change as it comes.

Be like the heart that loves without eyes for it knows the truth of where it’s home lies.

Do what you will in life, for life lives for itself and then it dies. No one knows the truth of death, but the truth of life is nothing and everything matters so be at peace and follow the call of your own beating pulse.

One sees the sun and one sees a star both are right. Peace is when they accept the understanding of another’s perception.

Trying to be perfect is like trying to alchemize gold from dirt, physically impossible and yet the magic of it calls the truest hearts. To let go of perfection is to free the spirt and only then will the best of you shine unencumbered.

The world stops turning for no one. It’s peaceful in its round face. Peace is being unaffected by chaos. Staying grounded in spite of the earths shakes.

Thanks for reading! This is a short bit of poetry. I was thinking of things that help me feel more at peace with myself and what is and this is what came out. Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

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-Till next time!

A Life Imagined

One day we’ll stand face to face at the alter

All our dreams melded into one glorious day

We’ll spend our nights dreaming of the home we’d build together

Smiling about the sweet music we’d made during the day

We’d laugh and dance through life together

Saying a thousand words with just one look

I can’t wait for the day you put your hand in mine

I can’t wait for the day I laugh with you

I can’t wait for the day I’d whisper in your ear and see you smile with the knowing that every single day I’d take pleasure in choosing you

Tell then, I have mountains to climb, and oceans to cross

Stars to build across my soul

But every lesson, every tick of the clock, brings me closer to the day I finally get to hold you

So for now find peace and be happy

Do what’s right for you

I’ll be working hard and dancing on my own

Till the time comes for me to create a whole new world when I’m with you

One day we’ll stand face to face at the alter

Surrounded by all of those we love

There will be peace and joy and happiness

A new beginning creating one from the two of us

I know it’ll be years before we get there

But oh how sweet it is to dream

Will you dream along with me?

Thanks for reading! I don’t know why, but at the moment I’m feeling really optimistic about the future. Imagining scenarios for what could be has brought me no small measure of peace. One of my greatest desires for my life has been to be with someone I can share my time on this earth with. I don’t know the when or how of it, but I know one day this all will come to be and that’s something to feel good about.

-Till next time!

A Disappearing Act

Without a word

Without a reply

Without ever knowing why

You’ve

D

I

S

A

P

P

E

A

R

E

D

Into the void.

Left me with empty promises

Left me without a trace

Left me on my own with this poison

I’m now lost in a battle of confusion

Will I ever have this explained to me?

I’m hurting cause’ I thought you would

Have told me if you wanted to walk away

With the magic that you came with you

Sprinkled yourself with some of that dust

And whisked yourself safely into darkness

Yet how can I feel pain when I want to believe

We’ll be ok?

The hope is so much worse then the knowing

You didn’t break it to me easy

You gave me nothing at all

I’m grasping at the straws of sweet memory

Yet even through the hurt

Yet even knowing your gone

I hope that you are doing ok

Your voice is gone

Your music is gone

Yet I don’t have your touch to remember

Are you just another person that’s truly left me

Or is there something that I’m missing?

I don’t have a choice

I may never know

What happened to this love

That now has only bones

My heart still warms thinking of you

But I still know I’m left out in the deep blue

Nothing

Congratulations

You succeeded

My heart is whole and torn to pieces

I don’t know why I still have hope

You’ll never see the mess you made by not properly letting go

But if you hadn’t why’d you disappear so completely..

left me in the dark on what your feeling

Only time will tell me if you’d truly gone

You gave me no choice to decide if you were ever a hazard at all

Are you waiting behind that curtain call?

To hear a standing ovation, the thousands to applaud?

I guess I’ll be here dancing on my own

Waiting for arms that may never come to hold me close

Because you vanished without saying goodbye

Or see you later

So I swallow the first as a pill

believe in the possibility of the second

But I feel I may never know the answer

Thanks for reading! This poem is very personal and it’s filled with everything I’m feeling right now. I hope at least you all can take something from it. Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

Murder House

Enticed by a price

Cheaper then any other

For a house of grandeur

Whose outside was beautiful

The inside hid great and dreadful horrors

Horrors that make your insides twist

Make what you’ve eaten want to come out

Yet, you didn’t know so you bought

You bought and for a while All was fine

Till you heard scratches in the walls

Screams you’d thought were nightmares

Crumbs appear where you’d thought you’d cleaned up

Things disappearing and reappearing where you didn’t have them placed

You convince yourself

I’m paranoid

Everything is fine

Yet the subtle insanity creeps into you

Until things escalate in slow calculation

The smallest drop of blood on the carpet

A scratch on the wall your sure wasn’t there before

Loud breathing above you as you sleep alone

Yet you still think it was a dream

Then suddenly it grows bolder

You have scratches on your body

Bruises you don’t remember receiving

You step on a piece of shattered glass

Yet you hadn’t dropped anything since you arrived

You start your bath and leave to get something to eat and you come back to scalding water

You run through your mind every small event

They twist into each other and your mind starts to crack

Broken lights that shouldn’t be broken

That one drop of blood to that stench of urine

The stench you’d smell sitting in the living room

Your hand holding the remote searching for just the right thing to watch

the crack becomes a fracture and you put your head in your hands

You scream and scream and you hear laughter and you scream and scream and tears fall as you scream

When it comes for you from behind you had finally gone quiet, but it whispers in your ear

And then it leaves you alone

Because it is not done playing

You’ve had enough you try to leave

You make it outside

Spend a week away with a friend

Then you come back

Because it sounds like a nightmare and you’ve never before been afraid of the dark

That was the last time you’d ever leave that house

And the monster laughs and laughs and laughs

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little poem. It was fun to write. Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

Freedom

Taking the slow steps of a doe out of a cage and into the forest legs shaking, mind wondering, fear showing in the quiver of matted fur, the mind questions if it is all a trick?

In the grand expanse of a world beyond pain a nose picks up the scent of fresh grass for the first time.

Slow steps forward follow slow steps back until finally the doe is out of the cage and the doors shut behind her.

Every sound is awash with twin thoughts of skittish fear and awe.

The world seems almost too bright for her; the music of the wind, so soft causes her panic.

Yet every moment brings new peace and slowly she walks until she comes upon a stream.

Her nostrils flare and she bends her head drinking fresh clean water for the first time in her life.

Finally she allows herself to bathe in the shallow stream and as the water cleans her fur she starts to prance her heart beating fast with hope.

Her tail wags and her hooves clack against the stone bottom in a happy dance.

Into the night she finds herself shelter and food to eat.

She sleeps a peaceful sleep and her nightmares are chased away by imagined days of prancing.

At last.. At last.. at last the doe is free.

The hunter far away.

The doe dancing in a world where she’d never be seen again.

Thanks for reading! This is a poem that has been one of my absolute favorites to write. When I found the first words everything just started to flow. I miss feeling like that while writing poetry.

Let me know your thoughts down in the comments!

-Till next time!