I’m Ok With Being Uncomfortable

I have learned so much in the past few days about myself, about racism, about what it means to be Anti-racist and what it means to be white and have that kind of privilege in America. Black lives matter. That’s a truth that no one can argue. They matter. They deserve so much more then this country has ever been able to give them and justice needs to be served.

I had made a statement on a twitter thread that received backlash. I was discussing wanting peace and did not understand the privilege I had in saying that. Didn’t understand the negative impact I had saying that under a thread full of hurting and oppressed Black people that are tired of people like me saying they should be peaceful. Getting back lash of that kind is something I’ve never experienced. Yet, thinking on it I realized I was wrong and started to look around and understand the reasons why and what I should be doing and who I should be telling to be peaceful. To tell white people to stop inciting violence by killing Black people for being Black. To tell police officers to stop using excessive force. To tell our government that the way this whole system is built is a knee on Black people’s necks every single day.

Realizing that I have biases and ideals that are part of the problem were eye opening to me. At the end of the day I believe in equality. I believe everyone should have equal opportunity. Seeing the protests and the actions of police and hearing the presidents awful rhetoric opened my eyes to see that this system isn’t going to get better by being complacent. There needs to be change and to start I needed to face a hard truth. That as much as I desire and want to be good and to have everyone have the right to live good and joyful lives with equal opportunity that I needed to take a closer look at my biases and the places where I am part of the problem. To continue to look and learn and educate myself, because my complacency that has helped no one. I need to do the work. To be uncomfortable. To embrace the discomfort and change.

In the past few days I’ve consumed so much information from Black people on twitter and looking at resources to start my journey to help dismantle racism. Starting with me. Starting with the miscro-transgressions I commit without even realizing it. I am ok with being uncomfortable. This is something I could easily turn away from and forget all about and nothing would change, but it’s damn time for change. Black people deserve better. They deserve better from our government. They deserve better from police. They deserve better from white people whose whole society was built on Black peoples backs. They deserve better from me.

I am angry. I am angry at the police who are using mace on children and kicking pregnant women’s bellies and purposefully inciting violence and not listening to the cries for peace. I am angry that every single day there’s another Black man killed by police officer when they’re compliant and unarmed and even if they weren’t completely compliant cause god damn having an officer in your face is terrifying.

I am demanding better from myself. Demanding that I stop pretending that I am free from racist ideals. I am not. But, I will make damn sure that I do better. Because the injustice is too much. The injustice can never be righted, but I want to be part of that amazing group of people that works to make it better for future generations.

That means that I am going to do the wrong thing sometimes and I have to face that. I have to listen when someone from the Black person tells me that there’s something wrong with the way I’m expressing my advocacy and ideas. Enough is enough.

Fuck racism!

BLACK LIVES MATTER!

It’s time for change. Injustice has been perpetuated for far too long.

Thank you all for reading!

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