The Way I Pick My TBR

The way I approach my TBR now a days is very different from how I used to approach it. Which was pick whatever on my shelves I was in the mood for and go.

I have a decent amount of books on my shelves I have simply never gotten too, because I’m always reading the next awesome book that comes my way. So I decided enough was enough and that I’m not going to reduce the amount of books that come into my life cause I love them and I know I will get to them all eventually, but that I was going to form a system that would ensure that I got to them all unbiasedly.

So what I do now is I have all my Netgalley and books from authors and publishers for review on a list and after I read one of those I read one book from my shelves picked by random.

The random part I set up by putting all the books I haven’t read yet into a google doc separated by comma and then I put that into a random word picker and it’ll pick my book for me.

So now I have a running tbr instead of a monthly one and it looks like this:

TBR reading order:
Schism
Autonomous
An Act of Faith June 4th
Seaspell
Glow book 1 July 16th
Ps I still love you
The Grace Year September 17th
Horns
The Orchid Throne September 24th
Witchmark
Jack Keri is dead to me April 7th 2020
Luna new moon
Orchid Unshaken Diana’s release
Pride and Prejudice

Every time I get a book for review I add that book and one book from my haven’t read tbr list and read down the list. Usually I read review books by their release date order so sometimes I fiddle a little with the order, but this is the current list I have ongoing.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! How do you pick your tbr?

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It’s ok to DNF

Sometimes you start a book and it’s not all you hoped it would be. Sometimes you power through and finish it anyway, but sometimes that feels a bit like pulling teeth.

I don’t know what it is, but I always feel bad if I DNF something. It’s like an obligation to the author and all the people that put so much effort into the book that I do my duty as a reader, writer, and reviewer to finish the book. But sometimes, there is a book that’s problematic or boring or just plain bad and it no longer feels worth it to review and promote something that makes you feel like pulling teeth.

After I finished Dream Waters which was something that I didn’t particularly care for, for a lot of reasons, I had a Netgalley review copy to read. I started it. But, right away I didn’t like the vibe. Then I looked into the reviews and I just didn’t have the energy for a book like that one. It was problematic in a lot of ways. The main character wasn’t like able, but that wasn’t the issue. There was weird relationships with older men. A general idealization of men in general. As well as many other negatives that many reviews pointed out.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t keep going. I’d read about 4 chapters and I couldn’t read another word. I wanted to read something good and right after the book I read was incredible. Something with great representation and solid history. I loved it. I felt good about reviewing it. I dreaded reading and reviewing the other book.

However, you don’t have to have a particular reason to not finish a book. If you don’t want to read something you don’t have to. You don’t have to explain it or give a discussion like mine. You just stop reading and forget about it. It’s ok to DNF. That’s a reminder to myself as much as to all of you.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

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Welcome September!!

It’s the end of September 1st and I’m excited to welcome the new season and all that September has to bring me.

I don’t really have any plans this September. Whenever, I make plans they never quite turn out as I’d expect anyway. However, I know whatever I do it’ll be fun. I’m still looking for a better job. One option didn’t work out so I’m exploring other avenues.

One of my biggest lessons has been to let things be. In every situation. Sometimes I want to worry about what will be. I’m still learning this lesson. So the approach I am having for this month is just to do my best. I’m going to let any mishaps wash away and follow whatever brings me the most joy in every moment.

That’s what this month will be about for me.

Also I’m really excited for the fall season. The weather has been extremely hot recently and it will continue to be hot for a while, but when it starts to cool I am going to feel very relieved.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

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An Observation of Happiness

I have gone through a lot of personal transformation in my life recently. Technically this is something that is lifelong, but I have felt one of the first noticeable shifts in myself in the past 3 months.

The most important thing that has caused this shift in myself is my continuous decision to be happy no matter what is going on in my life. When I made this decision I immediately looked to find self care and self love practices to add to my daily routine. I knew it wouldn’t be an instant thing and it wasn’t. It took me some time to choose happiness and to let go of thoughts that didn’t add to my happiness.

It was a huge choice that lead to me realizing how deeply I truly value myself and I noticed how over time all negative situations and people began to leave my life and I’ve experienced more and more happy situations and positive interactions with others as well. But, most importantly, I noticed I was genuinely and peacefully happy and it wasn’t attached to anything outside of myself.

I feel like I could handle any situation in a peaceful way now that I’ve started the creation of this unbreakable peace within myself. This doesn’t mean I don’t get sad or angry or feel negative emotions, but more that when I feel those things I notice it and I ask myself why I feel that way and gently guide myself into looking at the situation from a higher perspective. This is especially noticeable for me when I think about the future. When I notice that I want to paint all the obstacles of what could be and I start to feel bad about what might be, I can easily get lost in those thoughts. However, I notice it now and I can flip the script and turn that negative thought pattern into a more positive one.

It’s to where I feel like I’m exactly where I am supposed to be in my life and that I can be at peace even if things aren’t exactly the way I’d want them to be. I’ve learned to deeply and truly appreciate every morsel of good in my life. Even the most mundane of things. Like being grateful that I have a chair to sit in or for the shampoo I use to wash my hair or for the face wash that keeps my face clean. Every single part of my reality that aides me becomes something extraordinary and wonderful. Something worth appreciating.

Especially my own body. I’ve noticed that I really truly have come to love and appreciate my body. Even my nose (a part that I’d disliked heavily for years and years) is now something I love about myself. I feel good in my own skin. I love the muscles that are forming in my arms from work. I love how I look in clothing I try on at the store. I love that I don’t care if what looks good on me is an xtra large or a medium. I used to cry sometimes when I saw something I thought was cute didn’t look good on me in the store. Forming a healthy and loving relationship with my body is one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever given to myself. I fully appreciate what makes me unique.

I no longer talk about mental health in quite the way I used to. I don’t because I know that for my own mental health I need to discuss this topic in a positive way or not at all. I no longer tolerate in myself the feeling of self-pity. I don’t meant that in a harsh way, but in a way of being a good friend to myself and treating myself the way I would treat one of my friends if they were feeling down by lifting them up.

It feels good to wake up and feel happy for every single small joy in my life. To be happy just to be alive.

Thank you all for reading! Thank you all for being a part of my journey. You are all incredible people. I hope you all have a blessed day and a wonderful week ahead.

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-Till next time!

Avengers: Age of Ultron: A Discussion

Age of Ultron was another one of those films I didn’t appreciate to the full extent till another go-around. I liked it well enough the first time, but now, I feel that I understand and appreciate Age of Ultron so much more.

Age of Ultron is one of the more nuanced films in the MCU. The motivations of the various characters clash against each other and everyone is trying to do what they believe to be right and all of them have very different ideas of what that is.

Ultron himself has a twisted idea of “saving” the universe. Which umm.. has to do with destroying everything living on the earth.

Iron Man wants to put a ‘suit of armor’ around the world after being attracted by aliens in the battle of New York. This is what ends up creating Ultron in the first place, but also the next character I’m going to talk about: Vision.

Vision simply wants to be on the side of life. To be a bringer of peace. He doesn’t even want to kill Ultron, but knows it is necessary for the safety of the Earth.

The twins want peace for their country and vengeance for the death of their parents. Their parents were killed by a bomb that came from Stark industries and so of course they have a special hatred for Stark, but they change their minds after Scarlett sees into Ultron’s mind and find inside only destruction.

The Hulk or rather Banner helps out Tony, but not fully thinking it through. He is driven by the science, but doesn’t fully realize how far Tony was willing to go.

Thor, Black Widow, Hawkeye, and Captain America are the damage control. They didn’t realize what was going on with the others, but once mistakes were made they came in to help reduce the damage done.

My favorite moments:

Every time Ultron was on screen made for great scenes. Slowly he became a more and more formidable opponent and he was so much fun to watch. His hatred for Tony despite speaking just like him was fascinating. I think one of the best parts of the films was how imprinted in Tony’s way of thinking Ultron is in simply a twisted way. He really is Tony’s creation in every sense. Yet the creation hates the creator and acts in a similar way, but just twisted towards darkness. I love that.

I think it took me watching all the other films to care more about this one simply because I see the evolving of everyone and how interesting it is that the line of morality in this film is so blurred. Seeing your heroes make mistakes remind you that they are as human as you are and how you can get this one twisted idea in your head and it transforms the way you see the world in a grayish manner. It’s the mistake of one bad experience coloring the rest of how you see a group of people or organization in life. It’s cool that that kind of social commentary can be made by watching this film.

In this film it’s not a battle between good and evil in the strictest sense. But a battle between the mind of doing what you think is right and your beliefs tailoring what decision you make.

This movie has some really incredible fight scenes and lots of action, but at its core it’s the exploration of the mind and morality that makes this movie great.

Also, the party scene was fantastic..

What a show captain put on.. no one believed him for a second. Least of all Thor. Though I would argue most of the Avengers should be worthy of the hammer. Everyone’s sacrificed much in the name of justice.

Also, I loved the little early Black Panther references. Like the one shown in this photograph and video:

https://youtu.be/oytnbiux_lk

Marvel is really good at fusing humor and seriousness into its films. Sometimes it’s a little jab of humor, but at the same time it always gets some sort of reaction out of me.

I very much have a higher sense of respect for this film and it’s not the best of the marvel universe by far, but it is great in its own way.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

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-Till next time!

In Light of Recent Events

My heart goes out to the communities in El Paso, Texas and Dayton, Ohio. There is no reason for this sort of act. There is no justification for anyone to go around shooting other people. I can’t fantom what goes through someone’s head to make them think something like this is ok. It’s awful and it’s deplorable and the mention that it is possible to the two correlate and there may be other incidents ahead is something that should never be a part of reality.

I don’t really like talking about my political views. I’m not here to say what anyone else should believe or not believe, but these were targeted crimes of hate and the rhetoric that has been spread by our own President IS a factor in at least one of the crimes. I am not blaming the rhetoric for the crime, but I sure am not denying that it does aide in it.

When innocent lives are at stake the need for some sort of action is 100% necessary. However, this post isn’t about what actions I wish we’d take or as an excuse to put out into the world my own political beliefs.

In El Paso a whole community came together in light of tragedy and the same can be said for Dayton. There is still a sense of light in the way that people show their care in times of need.

I wish we lived in a world where people never took action based on hate. I wish we lived in a world where issues like this didn’t exist, but that’s not the reality.

I’m sending my prayers to the people in El Paso and Dayton. It’s a sad day in America today. It’s a time to reflect on our values and keep our loved ones close. Violence such as this is senseless. I’m appalled to see this splotch of darkness that has occurred today.

To all of you reading: Thank you for taking the time to read this. As always I’m interested in your thoughts. I’m at a loss for words right now. These tragedies should have never come to pass.

Hello July!!

I haven’t done this sort of post in a long time, but this month is going to be a fun one and I’m really excited about it.

This month, I’m going to visit magic mountain for the first time in years! I’m celebrating July 4th and my sisters birthday this month so I’m really pumped about it.

As far as reading goes my goal is to read this beauty finally:

I meant to start reading it one of these past weekends, but I still haven’t reviewed ‘The Beholder’ and I’m focusing on getting that done first, but after that I’m devouring this book!

After ‘Escaping from Houdini’ I will probably finally finish reading ‘Wicked Saints’ and get that review done as well.

Of course, this month I will also be continuing on with the marvel-verse series. I plan on seeing Spider-man: Homecoming at some point this month and while I may not discuss it till well in the future I am definitely not going to miss out on seeing this film in theaters. (On a side note: I also plan on seeing Annabel Comes Home this month as well, which I will be posting about so I’m excited for that!)

Other then all that, I’m generally excited to see what July brings. It’s stacking up to become one of the best months of the year and I’m just happy to be able to discuss it with all of you!

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

Guardians of the Galaxy: A Discussion

Continuing on with the Marvel content, I have a discussion of one of my absolute favorite films from the MCU, Guardians of the Galaxy.

This is one of the marvel movies I had seen long before I decided to watch all of the films in the universe. It also happens to be one of my favorites. But, of course upon rewatching, like I have with every other film before posting these discussions, I find that I love the film all the more.

I think that Guardians of the Galaxy has one of the best and strongest openings of all the Marvel films. You get some back story it’s pretty quick and sweet, but then you see Peter in his star lord get up just walking up to steal this silver orb and at first he looks kinda evil.

I mean look at him? The first time you think is this guy actually a villain or what, but then he has the mask come off and you see Cris Pratt’s adorable little face underneath. He takes out some headphones and puts on a cassette and starts dancing and singing and it’s then you know, this is a whole unique kind of film.

I mean.. look at him.. singing into some sort of mutant freak rat all weird like. All to the sound of ‘Come and get your love’ it’s truly pretty much perfect. (I love this scene so much that I just replayed it in my head so much that I couldn’t think about what else I wanted to talk about for this movie for way longer then is necessary)

Then, the assembly of the Guardians take place and of course it’s as wonderfully ridiculous as it is. They all meet on Xandar. Rocket and Grott see Peter and realize they can make some big bucks by capturing him and proceed to try and bounty hunt him. The reason Peter is there is to sell the silver orb behind Yondu’s back. Then, Gamora shows up and also finds herself after Peter because she’s after the orb to sell it to someone else to escape the claws of Thanos. But then, they all get captured.. and Drax of course joins in because he wants to kill Gamora because Ronan killed his family and he wants to kill anyone associated with Ronan.

The entirety of this plot is so good, but it feels so silly. Yet, it’s believable. They, put together something that in short seems convoluted and spread it out in such a way that it’s very comedic in timing and visually interesting to watch.

But, that’s not even close to the half of it. Every single scene is gorgeous. There is so much detail that goes into this film not just visually, but in the music and the dialogue. No other film in the marvel is quite like Guardians of the Galaxy. The ship fights and the weapons. The part where all the guys get drunk and bet on the freak rats… because they were bored and had nothing else to do.

The detailed backstories for each character Peter who didn’t hold her dying mothers hand when she asked. Gamora taken from her family by a man who destroyed half (though I’d say all) of all the people who lived on her planet. Rocket who was pulled apart and put back together again and again to turn him into the creature he is. Groot.. who we don’t really know anything about actually. Drax who lost his wife and child to Ronan. Nebula who is tortured again and again by Thanos who still wants his approval.

Every one of them has something dark of their past. Yet they come together and form a true bond and protect each other as friends. Something that many of them didn’t have much of. They seem to be the least likely crew to be true heroes or even to care at all about what happens in the Galaxy, let alone save it, but at the end of the day, they do their part and they save the Galaxy and the people who live on it.

A major part of the film I truly enjoy is the music. Especially the music that Peter’s mom gifted him as a kid. I created a Spotify playlist of all the songs in the Vol. 1 cassette for your listening pleasure down below:

https://open.spotify.com/user/wolfet98/playlist/2dMwOXRvmc3ZrCfaGjuQs6?si=OEPjUcsMSpaXd2jJa7rJYg

I love the way the music was used in the film to add both humor and life to it. It makes this film one of the most genuinely hopeful films of the marvel universe and it even creates a sort of innocent feel to the film. It’s what makes this movie not only funny and adventurous, but beautiful too.

One thing I do want to do is a character appreciation:

For one Yondu:

Yondu is kinda evil, but mostly a cinnamon bun. He’s the tough-lovin’ father Peter never realized he had. He has an image to put up in front of his crew, but inside he truly cares about Peter. I believe he truly doesn’t regret not letting his crew eat Peter as a boy.

Groot:

Sweet sweet Groot. One of my favorite sci-fi characters of all time. My dream is to give this mythical tree a hug. He’s the wettest of all the Guardians, but I believe he is probably the most dangerous. Especially, in one of the final scenes (pictured in the second half of the video below) where he smashes his arm through several people’s bodies and utterly annihilates them then smiles afterwards like he did a good thing (which he did, but it was terrifying as heck).

https://youtu.be/dcc5KWftKeA

THANOS the Inevitable:

Thanos looks kinda like a derp here, but it’s the only time he ever looks like a derp so.. it’s the only time I get to say that. The truth is, I love to hate on Thanos. He destroyed my entire soul in infinity war, so any little thing I can nit pick on him in any of the films I am going to do it. I don’t care how childish that is. Thanos doesn’t have the biggest part to play in Guardians of the Galaxy and I didn’t think much of him the first time I saw this film, but now.. now things have changed.

The Collector:

I almost think this man is the most evil of all the characters in Guardians of the Galaxy (minus Thanos). The way he treats his “servants” is absolutely awful. He sees everything and everyone as an object to add to his collection. The way he spoke to Gamora made my skin crawl. I don’t like this man at all. His only redeeming quality is that he looks cool, but i don’t put much stock in people’s looks, especially when they make me as viscerally sick as he does.

Drax:

I love Drax. He adds the sort of dry humor that really makes me happy deep inside. He’s god awful to Gamora most of the time, but redeems himself by blasting Nebula into another dimension when Nebula stars talking trash to Gamora. Someone so literal about everything can be frustrating to deal with, but he ends up being a true asset to the team so, he has a special place in my heart.

Corpsman Dey:

The true MVP of the film. Corpsman Dey is the Nova corps man who listened to Peter and decided to accept his help. He is also the first person to acknowledge Peter as Star-lord. I have so much respect for this man.

In Conclusion:

I love every aspect of this film. i love the characters, the story, the music, the humor, the fight scenes, everything. To me, this film is perfection from beginning to end. I will always have a deep love for Guardians of the Galaxy.

Thanks for reading! I’ve worked on this post for an inordinate amount of time, but I love this film so its all worth it. James Gunn outdid himself directing this film. It is one of the top films in all of the Marvel Universe. Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

-Till next time!

Just a Life Update

It’s currently 1:00 a.m., I’m writing this from the E.R. mostly to keep awake, but also because I have some stuff to share and maybe in some way this could help someone else who has experienced or will experience a situation like my own. Just so no one freaks out.. currently everything is fine. I’m not here for the same reasons I have been in the past.. where my dad was not able to see and was hallucinating due to a mini stroke and with me having no clue at the time what was going on. This visit was mostly planned. However, I expected it to happen in the morning not at midnight.

I even have stuff prepared so I don’t use up too much of my phone battery. I got my Write The Story Book with me and a book to read. I’ve been here for over an hour already.

When you visit the E.R. enough times you learn a lot of compassion for other people. Because it is the great equalizer, you never know when your going to get sick or injured and need help like everyone else does every once in a while. The first couple of times I’ve been here with my dad it caused me quite the bit of grief and anxiety. It’s hard to see a parent wither away so quickly. It’s even harder when it’s expected of you to remain calm and collected about the whole thing when your mind is anything but.

This time though I don’t expect to hear anything I don’t already know. I’m just hoping my dad doesn’t get admitted again… especially when I know it’s not going to last because they are just going to say there isn’t much of anything they can do.

This blog and work has been my saving grace these past couple of weeks. On those levels things have been going well for me. Mentally I’m so much stronger then I was before and putting a concerted effort into something I have a passion for has done wonders for my mental health. When you have a loved one that has major health issues it’s important to remember to take care of yourself. To work at things that make you happy, because I know from experience that running over and over in your head all the pain and sadness only causes more of it.

Being in the hospital so often also solidified for me something I already knew, that life is short and we all need to enjoy what we can in this life we can, because what’s the point really if all we did was wallow in suffering? I’ve seen so many elderly people lying in hospital rooms just waiting to die alone (not all quite a few have families, but quite a few also, do not) and that’s not how I want to end. That’s not what I want my life to be period. Yes, we have to feel the sadness. I spent a lot of time doing just that, but when it starts to become you, that’s when things need to change.

The strokes affected my dad’s mind. He’s become so angry and bitter at everything. It’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to see. He forgets things.. he has an unhealthy attachment to the news and whatever Trump is doing. He’s not the man I grew up looking up to. I’ve had to mourn that man even while he is still alive.

Sometimes living in an environment where the reality is that someone you love is truly losing their mind bit by bit can become toxic. I’ve learned to deal with it by realizing that my dad isn’t really my dad anymore and to not take anything he says or does personally, because it stems from hurt and sickness and him facing the reality that he is dying. I do my best not to let the truth of the situation make me bitter.. or to not let it make it so I loose my mind with the sadness as well.

So I watch films and post about them, I get back to writing about books I want to read, I hang out with friends when they ask. I choose to continue living. It’s so easy to shut down in a situation like this. To let it consume you. But another truth is that there is so much to live for. So I’m there for my family as much as I can be. I’m there for my dad. I hold myself together sitting in the very lightly cushioned hospital chairs. I try to think about good things. To smile at pictures of cats and puppies and watch stupid videos to distract myself.

It sucks sure, it sucks to have someone you love suffer. It’s even harder when it changes them and sometimes in a not so good way. But, I understand it. I really do. I’ve cried over it, I’ll probably cry over it more in the future, but It’s a balance between compassion for your loved one and compassion for yourself. It’s a fine line and there’s no rulebook for any of this.

I look at my mom and I see how tired she’s gotten. How angry because she’s the one that deals with all of dad’s pain and anger directly. So when she’s mad at me for something small I let it go even if it’s to tell me to do something I’ve already taken care of. Or something so small it doesn’t even matter. I let everything go. Because I’m not going to let this situation cause all of us to start yelling at each other all the time. Because arguments happen and they happen more often then I’d like them to. I’m trying to be someone that doesn’t add to escalating an already difficult situation. I’ve learned more patience and calmness from this situation then any other of my life. I’ve learned not to take things personally from this more then any other. But, I’m not perfect. Not even close. Sometimes I loose my cool and argue back. Sometimes, I sit and the emotions wash over me and I just let myself feel. Sometimes anger comes over me and I have to remove myself from a situation so I don’t say something I would regret. Sometimes I fail to remove myself. But, that’s all part of being human. We have emotions. We hurt. We deal with difficulty. We persevere.

This isn’t at all a pessimistic post. It’s just an honest look at something I’ve been dealing with for a long time now. It’s an honest telling of what I’ve learned from it. I don’t like hiding things. I don’t like pretending like things are better or worse then they are. For me going through this has been hard, but it is manageable and this is not at all a post for the sake of being pitied. Stuff like this happens all the time, but if I can help someone through my experience to deal with their own then I do want to candidly discuss it which is why i choose to write this in the first place.

There is always hope in every situation. There is always something to be learned. I love my family. I love my dad. I wish that none of this would have ever happened, but it’s something that can be handled in a healthy way. It is now 2:00am and I think I’m kinda losing the message I was trying to convey so I’m going to stop here.

To all those who are going through a difficult situation right now, you’ve got this! You are going to make it through. I’ll be praying and rooting for all of you. You deserve the best.

Thanks you all for reading! I send my love out to all of you.

-Till next time!

Captain America: The Winter Solider: A Discussion

My Marvel series continues with a discussion on Captain America: The Winter Solider. Which I now appreciate so much more after having watched Endgame and Captain Marvel.

The first time I watched this film I enjoyed it, but I don’t think that I fully understood what was going on. Or rather, I understood, but there was more to it then what I had thought initially. Plus, there was a lot of smaller lines and parts that I appreciated so much more this time around.

What I appreciated both times around was how the movie starts off. The humor of Captain America running laps around Sound with the witty remark of “On your left.” Which was an all around fun scene. Followed by Captain jumping out of an aircraft without a parachute which is just straight up badass.

What I also loved both times was the fight scenes. All the action sequences were entertaining to watch and visually interesting to the eye. Particularly, the fight between Cap, and this martial arts guy that I don’t think was named in the beginning of the film. They do this hand to hand combat with all these jump kicks and flips and it looked so cool!

Other then entertaining fights I also enjoyed the relationship between Black Widow and Cap.

They have this friendship between them that I find to be very sweet. Even in the most inappropriate times black widow tries to get cap to ask out this girl or that girl (which I do find endearing even though his heart belongs to Peggy). Sometimes it’s nice to not force every character to fall in love with each other just because they are a man and a woman in the same environment.

The other relationship I enjoy a lot is the one between Cap and Bucky.

Cap may have fought Bucky a lot in this film, but at the core of himself he doesn’t want to hurt his friend. Cap has this deep set integrity that is rare to find in anyone these days let alone a character and it’s really great to see. He stays true to his values no matter what the circumstances. Cap set his mind that he was going to get through to Bucky and it worked. He didn’t give up on his friend or think he was too far gone to save.

*spoilers for Captain Marvel ahead*

One of my favorite lines in this film comes from Nick Fury who says, “The last time I trusted someone I lost an eye” which is a serious line in the film, but it was funny to me because I realized this:

Was caused by this:

Which made me laugh because the last person he trusted was a cat or really a Flerken named Goose and that feels so fitting to me. It makes me think of Fury’s soft side and I love it!

Another little thing I noticed was a line from this guy:

The shield agent black widow kicked off a roof. He said something about keeping track of persons of interest and he mentioned Steven strange amoung others, which felt like a cool Easter egg to notice of hints for what would be future films in the universe.

*spoilers for Endgame ahead*

The other part that I saw completely differently this time around was the scene where Cap sees Peggy in the current time:

The first time I saw this I was bawling my eyes out. It broke my heart to see what was an unfortunate circumstance tear apart a couple that truly loved each other. It was the one thing about Cap that continuously broke my heart. Yes, he was saving the world, but I had always wished that he could do all that with his best girl by his side.

Little did I know that he does spend a full life with Peggy as is shown in Endgame and it changed this scene completely for me. It no longer caused me to feel heartbroken. Yes, the scene still hurts, but there is a beautiful end to the story. That love won in the end. That that kind of love doesn’t die. They literally had decades of time pass between them with the biggest hurtle imaginable, but they still got their life together and that makes me happy to no end.

But it made me notice something about the lines. In the past tape of Peggy talking when she was young she calls Cap her husband.. something I didn’t notice the first time. Plus, old Peggy has a photo on her bedside with children, but not showing her husband at her side. Which means that Cap is the father to her children and realizing that made me smile from ear to ear.

Rewatching The Winter Solider I realized how much I genuinely care for and enjoy Caps story. He’s one of my favorites of the avengers along with Ant man, Iron man, Hawkeye, and black widow. I love The first avenger with Caps back story the most out of his films, but I have a special place in my heart for The Winter Solider.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!