Thor: The Dark World: A Discussion

Welcome back everyone to my Marvel movie series! I’m kicking it back up with a discussion about Thor: The Dark World and I can’t wait to discuss the rest of the films in this super fun and exciting universe.

What I love most about the Thor films is how it feels like it’s in a universe all its own even as it connects back to earth for different parts. Half the time during the film my brain goes into full art appreciation mode and I think “wow.. that’s so cool” approximately every 5 seconds, but I mean.. look at Asgard:

Plus look at the ships and say that doesn’t spark some childlike excitement:

But, what I also loved the most was the brothers working together after Loki being arrested in Thor.

I loved the humor between them and how Loki was proud of Thor for being distrustful of Loki and tricking him a bit for once. But, I also love that no matter how mischievous and evil Loki can be in his heart he is in his own way loyal to his family. Or at least to his mother. But, I would say that he does hold a brotherly love for Thor deep down in that grey green soul of his.

I like each Thor movie more then the last. (I can’t wait to discuss Thor: Ragnorok: A+ film). This go around I noticed a few things in the film I didn’t notice before.

One the green flash surrounding this guard:

Which was a tell tell sign that no Loki wasn’t actually dead (though I doubt anyone really believed he died).

Two professor Erik Selvig says there was a God in his head?

Which after some digging is related to when Loki controlled Erik’s mind with the staff in Thor, but why has no one else ever gotten mad from that? Hawkeye has been controlled and he’s mentally a-ok.. why did it make Erik crazy, but also filled with so much more knowledge then everyone else. It’s a bit of a curiosity for me.

3 this was the beginning of Jane moving on and honestly she deserves someone who can be by her side always and not just sometimes:

Honestly, I never really liked Jane and Thor’s relationship. Yes, they have physical chemistry, but I don’t really see it being much more then that. Yeah it looks great on screen, but there’s none of the balance in the relationship like there is with Tony Stark and Pepper or even Hawkeye and his wife (though we never get too much of their relationship). But, this dinner shows that Jane doesn’t want to be left alone with no explanation anymore, yes Thor has a fantastic reason, but he doesn’t really give Jane anything to work with.. and when you loose all communication in a relationship with no precedence for it the relationship starts to die. It’s hard to be on your own making up a billion stories in your head about how someone else is thinking or feeling when everything could be cleared up with a simple bit of communication in some way. Either way, she doesn’t like feeling left out in the cold and she deserves to have someone whose there for her, just like everyone does.

In general, I really enjoyed this film. The battle scenes were great. I love the humor. Love the brotherly relationship. Love the mix of science and magic. The convergence parts were super cool to look at. The antigravity parts too were super cool. In my nerd brain I brand this movie as cool. It may not be my favorite in the marvelverse, but it’s a fun movie all around.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

I wanna know, whose your favorite marvel hero?

-Till next time!

Iron Man 3: A Discussion

I know not everyone agrees with me, but Iron Man 3 is my favorite of the Iron Man films and I won’t apologize for it. It’s a well-balanced, funny yet emotional film that shows no matter what demons you have inside you, you can still be an incredible hero.

I love Iron Man for his wit and for how genuine of a human being he is. His past is checkered and he doesn’t always say or do the right thing, but he tries his best to do what is right for those he loves and also for the world.

This movie starts out with one of the most Tony Stark trade marked quote ever. He says “A famous man once said, “We create our own demons.” Who said that? What does that even mean? Didn’t matter. I said it ’cause he said it. So now, he was famous and it was basically said by two well-known guys.” This feels so classically Tony Stark and I love how it ties in to what he says at the end as well. It shows his arrogance, but also his wit and it sets the tone for what the rest of the movie perfectly.

I love even the little moments like when Tony is arguing with James about Tony’s health and James says ‘I’m not trying to be a Dick-tator.’ switching his word slightly because a little girl is present. Something about the slight jabs and sarcastic humor makes Iron Man one of my favorite marvel heroes. He’s always fun to watch.

In this movie the villains were all of Tony’s making. The ex-lover, The guy he ignored at a party, and his own mental hurtles. It really felt like everyone was someone he needed to fight off himself. Who had a personal vendetta against him. Yes, a lot of it is posed as a villain plotting against the world, but the real motive was to get back at Tony and it made his eventual triumph at the end all the more exciting.

But, what I love most about this film is seeing one of the earths mightiest heroes deal with a demon that so many of us face everyday.. anxiety. The mind is the most powerful force on earth. When Stark has his first major panic attack he thinks he must have some heart or brain injury and his body is perfectly fine. It’s his mind that created the danger and as the movie goes on and he continues battling his mind as well as all of the other demons he created you see someone defeating their demons and coming out on top. That’s a message that so many of us need at some point or another.

Then how deeply it’s connected to Pepper and how much he wants to protect her. That kills me. Because there is only one person on this earth that he has and that’s her and he realized there’s more on the earth to be afraid of then he ever first realized. He’s not sure if he’s strong enough to keep her safe and nothing hits him harder then that.. so he tinkers. He makes things to feel better, but by doing so he looses time just enjoying being with her. Tony may be a jerk at times, but he’s real with Pepper. I think that’s the truest kind of love. The person you can be your truest self with. The person who’s flaws don’t sway you because you can see how hard the other tries in spite of everything. The person who lifts you up and who you lift up. That’s the kind of love you never let pass you by.

Then, Tony gets arrogant again and gives the world his address. That ends in absolute catastrophe as well as Pepper being captured. But, it made for one of the funniest and best relationships in the whole MCU… the relationship between Tony and a kid named Harley. Tony is rather mean to the adorable little kid, but the kid holds his own anyway. Honestly, I think they both irritate and love each other equally. Tony needed Harley and Harley, well, Harley found a father figure. It’s the sweetest thing to watch.

I know a lot of people don’t like this, but I love the mandarin being a fake. I know that it would’ve made for a completely different movie if he wasn’t, but he just played the part so well. Plus, the part where this gets revealed is probably the funniest part of the movie for me. For me, it balances the film out. It put a smile on my face and that’s worth a lot to me. I’m always up for some good comic relief and that’s what the actor behind the mandarin is for me.

As far as the battle scenes go, there was plenty of action. The power set was unique from all the other films and that made the fighting style and overall feel of the fight scenes their own. Then, we have the final battle where Tony calls in all his suits and it creates a busyness that keeps your eyes engaged and gives a sense of urgency to the overall scene.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I love Iron Man. I love a good flawed hero. Iron Man is truly human in every sense of the word. In this final solo film of his we get to see him at his very best in spite of everything that mentally wants to bring him down. Iron man is a true hero and I will always have love for his films.

Thanks so much to all of you for reading! I’m back once more and better then ever. Thanks to all of you for sticking with me. I have a lot planned to read, write, and discuss with you all in the future.

-Till next time!

Thor: A Discussion

Ahh… Thor. The God of Thunder. But also, one of the most irritating superheroes of the marvel verse. Well, at least in his origin movie.

I wish I could say I adored Thor and I do like him a whole lot more in later films, but in this one he is a man-child and he continues to act as such except when he finally sacrifices himself going against the metal beast his brother sends and becomes worthy of his hammer. I’m of the mind that Loki would make the better king. I kinda wish that he hadn’t been treated as Thor’s shadow growing up. If Loki wasn’t a traitor he’d make a great king, but of course that’s not how it works.

The other thing that frustrates me is this:

Jane is an incredibly intelligent woman. Her and Thor could never connect on an intellectual level, but of course that doesn’t matter, because he takes his shirt off and suddenly his personality doesn’t matter at all because of his physique. It pisses me off as much as when a woman is only seen for her looks and I don’t like the trope for a man or a woman. Although a small part of me does appreciate that it is the man for once that is the eye-candy. But also Thor gets her father drunk and causes nothing but problems for her and her family and yet it doesn’t matter because he’s nice to look at. I mean, everyone’s entitled to love whoever they want, but it’s mostly the sort of representation this puts out. The guy that acts out of immaturity and anger throughout the majority of the film gets the girl and the kingship through one act of selflessness and being good-looking. I don’t know why, but it’s just so frustrating to me.

I guess it’s also that there isn’t a real change in Thor until the later films where he proves himself a little more, but in the original film I just wished things were different.

I do however, have some praises for this film. One, Asgard is Gorgeous!

I could stare at how beautiful Asgard is for ages. The detail is amazing. God I love it.

Also, Loki is amazing!

Loki adds so much to the film. He makes it a story about family, mischief, and lies. Ultimately, he just wants to be recognized and he feels betrayed, by his family, but also he just likes to stir the pot. I do also love the brother dynamic between him and Thor. Thor’s love for his brother is one of his most redeeming qualities and is one of the biggest reasons I grow to love Thor in later films. Loki makes some decisions that paint him as the villain in this film, but if it wasn’t for Loki Thor would never have grown to deserve his hammer. In the end, both have deeper character because of the other and something about that is really cool to me.

Truly, I can’t wait to discuss the later Thor films, because like Iron Man they get better with each iteration. It’s not that I dislike this film. I actually really enjoy it. It’s funny and it has its own flavor. I just don’t like Thor’s initial characterization. I like this film almost because I love rolling my eyes at Thor’s antics and I enjoy most when they get crushed. Like in the beginning of the film when he is first exiled and realizes that he barely has more strength then a normal man. When characters get humbled by reality it makes me smile. Plus, I think the point of Thor in the film is that he is an idiot and that idiots can grow up. I guess I just love to hate on this version of Thor.

Thanks for reading!

Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

Captain America: The First Avenger: A Discussion

One of the strongest films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is Captain America’s origin film. I don’t say this lightly. Like Iron man 2 this film brought out some tears in me and it’s a shining example of a character that has a really good and unique backstory.

First off, Captain America is first and foremost Steve Rodgers. Someone who started off as a man who longed to be a part of the military, but was rejected again and again for his lack of physique.

But, even more amazing is that once he is transformed from his once much thinner body it does nothing to his ego. He remains humble. But, even when he was thin he had this confidence and drive that was so awesome to see. He was bullied and picked on, but he remained upright and strong and that’s something to admire. But, even more then for his size he was picked on because he never let injustice pass him by. I love that a lot of the film shows Rodgers before his transformation because it gives the world a hero that wasn’t always super. He gives us a hero that shows that determination and passion are more then enough for you to become whoever you wish to be.

Then there’s the part that kills me, his budding relationship with Peggy. On there first meeting Rogers gets to see Peggy as she truly is a woman not to be trifled with. She punches a man who goes out of line and shows whose boss and the respect he has for his is instant. It’s one of the coolest female introductions ever. Especially, because she isn’t technically one of the superheroes. You don’t need powers and a fancy suit to be a badass.

Also, seeing Rogers at the boot camp is one of my favorite things. He’s obviously smaller then all the others. Not as physically fit, but he keeps pushing and pushing and he shows an ingenuity and selflessness that gets noticed and ultimately that’s what made him the perfect man to become Captain America. Plus that moment when he gets that flag and gets to ride in the car was badass. Sometimes working smarter and not harder is your biggest weapon.

Another great scene is on his way to get his procedure done. Naming all the places he’d gotten beaten up in to Peggy, but also talking to her. And then they talk about dancing and waiting for the right partner. Something about that scene melted my heart and later on it hold so much more meaning.

Then there is the overall feel of the film. The older WWII setting that gives it it’s own flare that is all its own. Even the villain, The Red Skull, has that classic villain vibe of the time. But, I feel like this film is less about the villain and his desires and more about Rodgers coming into his own and becoming the man externally that he always was internally.

What I also found exciting about the film was that it has one of my all time favorite actors Tommy Lee Jones who plays Chester Phillips.

As always Tommy plays his part perfectly. He is cynical as ever. As hard as ever. Yet, he had his signature little sprinkle of humor that has always put a smile on my face. I love that man.

On another note, I kinda love that Captain America’s original outfit looks a bit ridiculous, but also fits the time. Especially the costume one.

Rodgers is amazing in every way, but man does that outfit not do him justice. In a way it just endears me to him more. So really I’m not mad about it.

But, what I really like about this movie is the details. Like how Rodgers is casually amazing at drawing:

Or how Tony Stark’s father Howard Stark was the one who transformed Rogers:

They did an amazing job with the subtle details of the film and I love it!

But again, it’s the events that take place at the very end when Rogers gets essentially chyrogenically frozen never getting that dance with the woman he’d began to feel so much love for. This moment is the lesson that both healed and hurt me as a person the most. When you have someone you love romantically or otherwise don’t waste a moment of yours or their time letting them think that you don’t love them. It might feel dramatic, but you truly don’t know how long you or they have on this earth or what other factors you are unaware of that may separate you. It pained me because when Captain wakes up and realizes he’s way in the future and the one he loves was lost to him forever it affects him deeply and everyday he has to face that he’ll never get that time back. I felt that emotion deeply and I still do. I’ll never make the mistake of letting any of the people in my life that I care for not know that they are cared for even for a moment again.

Thanks for reading! This post is dedicated to someone I deeply care about. If you are reading this, you know who you are. Happy Birthday! I wish there was more then this that I could have done.

Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

The Incredible Hulk: A Discussion

One of the few Marvel films I had seen previous to my start of this Marvel movie journey was The Incredible Hulk.

Again I was going to write this post without having rewatched the film and it just didn’t feel right to me. Even this film, the one that has no real bearing on the Marvel Universe and is widely ignored and even disliked felt worthy of a rewatch for me.

What I came to find out was I actually remembered a lot of this film. It was familiar in a way that even Iron Man had become much less so. And there was something even more peculiar, I realized that the child I once was when I first watched this really loved and enjoyed the film. I remember the feelings of being a much younger version of me watching this and thinking how cool it was and how sweet it was that a women was the key to tame this great green beat that was angered by everything else. I can see now that I’m older that it could be seen as a point of contention. Especially with the whole cave man sort of ‘I Angry’ ‘I Smash’ mentality Banner has when he is lost to The Hulk, but the kid in me saw something empowering in the thought that a woman could see the child in the man and calm him through gentleness and understanding while all the men would shoot at the big green guy expecting him not to get angry.

I know now that it can be degraded to a guy being distracted by a beautiful woman and that any sort of love can be taken out of the equation, but rewatching the film I don’t really agree. I think that anyone in a hard situation would want to lash out and be angry. Humans tend to do/say things out of anger that can and do make beasts of us, but the second you stop in your tracks and stop placing blame on another and speak calmly and rationally instead of escalating the situation the anger in the other disappears. But, another point to make is that I as a woman no matter what is happening, if one of my loved ones is getting hurt in some way I step in. I don’t care if the other person I’m protecting is a man or a woman. If I love you I want you to be safe (even if I am terrible at protecting myself).

Another important distinction to make is that this is in no way shape or form talking about abusive relationships. There is no excuse for that. There is no excuse for abusing a significant other physically or mentally. As far as the relationship in the movie goes Banner is shown to be protective of Betty and even as The Hulk he is gentle with her.

One of the other things I was surprised about was how much I remembered of Abomination and that final battle.

Abomination is grotesque. The contrast between him and the Hulk make him very memorable. The fight between them and in general the fights in this movie are ‘no holding back’ and ‘no fucks given’ kinda fights. They are wild and even barbaric. They illicit that kinda carnal destructive war cry kinda energy of a young kid. It’s not at all gory or even grossly brutal. It really is one of those kinda fights that the kid inside you cheers for. Which is also part of the criticisms of the film when The Hulk is the hulk he is no more then a cave man persona. Even the way he speaks is the same as what we typically associate with cave man language. Which triggers many to say that it makes the story lack depth.

However, I think that this movie was created for that purpose. To illicit that sort of innocent fight mentality that kids possess. It’s not meant to make the sort of commentary that the depth of character of superheroes like Iron Man and Captain America have. It’s for the inner child and sometimes stories like that are worth giving a watch too.

The Incredible Hulk may not be one of those films that gets praised for its depth, but it made the girl I once was smile. Some stories and even characters don’t have to be complicated. Sometimes they can just be fun to o watch.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

Iron Man: A Discussion

Just as a pre-curser, I hadn’t seen this film in several years. But, I watched a Cinema wins video about the film and got reoriented with it. I was originally going to write this post with just that, but I decided to rewatch the film once more so I could talk about it more in depth. Let’s just say I was not disappointed by my decision.

Having seen the later films I got used to the idea of Stark having anxiety and PTSD. However, I forgot about what triggered that in him. Being tortured and held captive by terrorists is something that is a tragedy. Being mentally affected by it is more then normal. Much like being mentally affected by any sort of hard and painful event would. Him becoming a hero and working to fight for good as he continuously faces his mental struggles is so important for films to depict. You don’t have to ever be perfect or fully healed as a being to do great things and Iron Man is an example of it.

However, this first Iron Man film doesn’t depict so much of his symptoms quite yet, but the story it does tell is one of redemption and transformation in many ways as the man who lived his life like a playboy, doing whatever he pleased, going through some tough crap that in many ways teaches him to see what was ultimately most important in his life all along. Though this doesn’t change his overall personality and I enjoy that. Tony Stark is witty and sarcastic and very honest in the way he answers. He is super unique as an individual and the way Robert Downey Jr. Plays the role is to perfection.

Iron Man is one of the most complex personalities of the marvel heroes. He’s full of good intentions, but he has his vices. He’s fallible yet that doesn’t stop him from being great. Also, his love story with Pepper (which doesn’t go so far in this film) is one of my favorites, because she sees him for him and loves him anyway. But, she doesn’t just let him have his excuses she calls him out and she’s there for him through everything. Something about it makes it feel like the most true to life love stories of the different Marvel couples. I adore it.

I wanna take a bit of a moment to pay tribute to Ho Yinsen’s character. This man saw to the heart of who Tony Stark is and gave him the strength he needed to get through one of his most difficult moments.

Some of the things he said were my favorite quotes from the film:

Stark: “Why should I do anything? Either way, they’re gonna kill you and me, and if not, then I’ll likely be dead by the end of the week”

Yinsen: “Well then, this will be a very important week for you, won’t it?

As well as:

Stark: “Come on. We gotta go. Move with me. We got a plan. We need to stick to it.”

Yinsen: “This was always the plan, Stark.”

Stark: “Come on. You’re gonna go see your family. Get up.”

Yinsen: “My family’s dead. I’m going to see them now, Stark. It’s okay. It’s okay. I want this. I want this.”

Stark: “Thank you for saving me.”

Yinsen: “Don’t waste it. Don’t waste your life.”

And finally:

Yinsen: “So you’re a man who has everything and nothing?”

Yinsen is a man of great wisdom. In a place of terror he lead Stark to his ultimate freedom and liberation. I only wish one day I had half of the man’s strength and understanding.

In the Cinema Wins video it is discussed that the amount of building montages that take up the film has been criticized for being excessive. However, I agree with what it said about it being a positive thing. The amount of detail and growing they show are important to the story and understanding Stark. He is a thinker, a designer, and a creative. Seeing everything come together and how deeply he thinks every feature through is super cool. Maybe I’m just a tech nerd, but seeing the inner working parts was fascinating for me.

The Villain: Obadiah Stane:

The words I have for this man are: What a creep. Honestly, this villain did a good job of making me uncomfortable. Even in the photo above I don’t like looking at him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t have something to do with Stark’s father’s death (although takes to civil war I know he doesn’t) but man how the hell did he stay under the radar enough to continue being the face of the business part of Stark Industries. I really don’t like this man.

My favorite battle:

I loved both when iron man first escapes from Afghanistan and when he returns and helps out some people who are being oppressed you the terror group there. Maybe it’s just how much fire and grit appear in both instances or the redemption arcs they both give Iron Man. Either way those were my favorite badass moments from the film.

All in all:

Iron Man is the impeccable start to the marvel universe. Featuring possibly the most scarred and human of the marvel universe heroes, Iron Man shows there is strength in the things that make us flawed human beings. Is the movie perfect? Of course not. But, it is the beginning of one of the most beloved and fast growing franchises in the movie industry today. I greatly enjoyed this film and every Iron Man film just gets better. Iron Man sends some really great messages into the community and as his story unfolds you learn just how layered the man who is both Tony Stark and Iron Man is.

Thanks for reading! I did mention in my Marvel announcement post that I did have quite a few thoughts on all these films. I can’t wait to discuss the rest! Let me know your thoughts on Iron Man or any of the marvel films down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

My Journey Through the Marvel Universe

For many years, I would see superhero films being released one after the other and a majority of the time I felt like I couldn’t watch them because I knew they had an order and I had no idea what that order was supposed to be.

Not too long ago I expressed this desire to watch the films of the marvel universe on Twitter and I was surprised to receive an answer from a friend I went to high school with. He was nice enough to share a watch order with me of which I followed through on only skipping the movies I had already seen.

Here is the order he gave me:

Iron Man (2008)

The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Iron Man 2

Thor

Captain America: The First Avenger

Marvel’s The Avengers

Iron Man 3

Thor: The Dark World

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Guardians of the Galaxy

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Ant Man

Captain Ameica: Civil War

Doctor Strange

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Thor: Ragnarok

Black Panther

Avengers: Infinity War

Ant Man and the Wasp

Thanks to him I watched through all the marvel films when I was sick for a long while and very much enjoyed all of them. I do have my favorites and I have a lot to say about each individually and so for a while this blog is going to showcase a full blown marvel appreciation series. So for now I’m going to give my basic thoughts.

Iron Man/ Iron Man 2: two of the movies I had already watched multiple times. My sister really enjoys Iron Man so these movies are ones that she will put on every once in a while. I always enjoy watching them when it’s on because I like the balance between Stark’s witty sarcasm and the very real danger that he gets himself into.

The Hulk: I didn’t rewatch this film, but I remember the first time I watched it I really enjoyed the love story of it. I remember this movie as being quite sweet.

Thor: I rewatched Thor because I wasn’t sure if I had seen it or not and realized I had. Rewatching made me realize that I love Loki more then I love Thor and I have a lot of very specific feelings about this movie and the Thor v. Loki dynamic so writing a full post on it will be a lot of fun.

Captain America: The First Avenger: This movie hit me hard emotionally. It made me dream of recreating the scene of him saying he had been looking for the right partner to dance with. Captain America is so wholesome and he comes from a place of knowing what it’s like to be beaten. Yet he sacrifices so much all the time. I can’t wait to share my full thoughts on this movie. This one is my favorite of the Captain America Films.

The Avengers: The first time the gang gets assembled. This movie made me laugh again and again and it is home to my favorite marvel scene ever that just can’t be beat. Hulk smashing Loki like a dummy doll. I can’t wait to rewatch this movie sometime soon. It’s a feel good movie for me.

Iron Man 3: I feel like this is the movie that got me to finally understand Iron Man as a man. To me he’s the most human of the Avengers because he is the most flawed and yet behind the wit and the liquor he truly cares about people to the point that it brings him to make some terrible choices. Iron man 3 made me appreciate Iron Man in a whole new way.

Thor: The Dark World: My favorite part of this movie was getting to see Loki and Thor work together. Something about their dynamic is magnetizing to me. Plus, the sprinkles of humor they create is always appreciated.

Captain America: The Winter Solider: What I love about Captain America’s films are how they tend to highlight some sort of insider corruption. He’s always the one to try and fight for the right thing and for justice and seeing him choose and always do his best is incredible. Plus, the opening scene to this film was awesome.. seeing cap jumping out of a aircraft with no parachute was so cool.

Guardians of the Galaxy: this is a movie I had already seen before I decided to go on this marvel quest and I always loved it. The humor is amazing. Groot is amazing. The space stuff is amazing. This movie is just amazing.

Avengers: Age of Ultron: I appreciate this movie much more now then I did when I first watched it.. mostly because I was at the lowest point of my sickness when I set out to watch this movie so I rewatched it the next day and enjoyed it so much more. This movie went a little darker then it’s predecessors. I appreciate it. I love how this felt like a stark film because it highlighted a lot of his darkness that comes out when he’s trying to do good. Plus, Ultron was a cool villain because of how much he was like stark. I have so many thoughts on how they decided to portray Ultron and how it affected the overall theme of this incredible film.

Ant Man: this is my favorite marvel movie. It’s odd. It’s funny. It has the most incredible perspectives ever and I was torn between taking it seriously and laughing at the absurdity of it the entire time. Also I want a pet dog sized ant. I love this movie.

Captain America: Civil War: I love how often the hero’s I’ve grown to love fight each other. I wish they wouldn’t, but it makes me think of them like one big family that continues to grow. The way the two sides split up surprised me, but overall it was cool to see.

Doctor Strange: All I can seem to say about this movie is how cool it is. The magic is amazing. The visuals are amazing. I felt like I was watching inception, but with fighting spiritualists instead of people with guns in suits. The humor in the movie was spot on and I had a blast watching it.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2: I watched this one before I went on this journey and still I have only two words: Baby Groot.

Spider-Man: Homecoming: I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this film. I’m so ingrained in the image of the original spider man that seeing this much younger version felt weird, but also really great at the same time.

Thor: Ragnarok: This film was one of the most memorable. It had a great balance of light comedy with a very real danger adding intensity. Plus, it was hilarious in a great way. I had a lot of fun watching it.

Black Panther: I tried watching this when it first came out, but I didn’t understand enough about the world then to get into it. But, I gave it a second chance and greatly enjoyed it especially after having a much better understanding of the Marvel universe in general. Plus the shots of Wakanda in general were absolutely gorgeous.

Ant Man and the Wasp: I didn’t love this film as much as I loved Ant Man, but there is a lot to be said about Ant man being under house arrest and doing all he can to be the best version of himself for his daughter. It had a very different vibe from the first Ant Man film.

Avengers: Infinity War: I HAVE WORDS FOR THIS FILM. It destroyed me. It made me a mess. It made me question so many things. I was angry after watching. I was distraught after watching. I wanted to kick thanos’s ass after watching. I just have so much to say about this film.

All this having been said. I have to say I’m so excited for the many Marvel films of the future.. both known and unknown. I’m proud to finally be a part of this franchises fandom in appreciation of its entirety. Captain Marvel will be in theaters March 8th. Endgame is coming to ruin my life on April 26th. Far from home is coming July 5th. Plus, I’m about to set off on a journey through the X-men films (of which I’ve seen a few, but can’t for the life of me recall which ones except for X-men and Logan (which was incredible in every way). Superheroes are adventurous and symbols of people going beyond the call of duty to protect the innocent and do some good. I’ve always loved superhero movies and finally I feel like I’ve entered into the cinematic universe in the way I’ve always meant to do. We have many posts ahead and I have lots to say so, buckle up it’s going to be a journey all on its own.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

Why I Took an Unplanned Hiatus

Hello everyone!

I’m finally ready to come back to the blogging community. It’s been a while. A lot longer then I would have liked, but a lot has happened recently and I’m now ready to talk about it.

So, at first I took this hiatus because I had an issue at work with a coworker and the whole thing stressed me out because even though what happened was totally uncalled for there was the fear that I might loose my job. However, it’s all straightened out now and me and that coworker no longer work on the same shifts.

After that I got really sick. At one point I went to the emergency room because I was having panic attacks because when I coughed I felt like I couldn’t breath. I woke up at 5:00 am that day and could not sleep because of how bad my sinuses were. I’m still a little under the weather, but I’m much better now.

So in the time I haven’t been blogging I decided to do something I enjoyed while I was awake. Which was to finally watch all the movies in the marvel cinematic universe. I had been wanted to do this for a while, but never knew what order to go in and had only watched iron man, the hulk, and the guardians of the galaxy movies before setting myself on this quest. Today I finally finished all of them and so I’m going to do a blog series about my thoughts.

There is one more thing I want to talk about. During this time sitting just with myself I went through a lot of emotional purging and understandings. One thing is for certain. My mental health gravely impacted my sickness. Mental health issues aren’t to be messed with. They are real and they are strong and they can mess with you. They can be overcome. However, I had given into my own for a while. I let anxiety and depression run the wheel of my life for too long thinking those thoughts were there to protect me when they were lies.

Currently, I’m working on getting back to a better schedule and creating opportunities to talk about things that make me happy, rather then focusing on my losses. It’s been more difficult for me then I thought it would be, but giving myself projects to work on and getting back into reading and writing should all be helpful.

Depression and anxiety are a part of my reality, much like others deal with bipolar disorder, various phobias, and any other mental health issue. But, it does not define me. It makes my life harder. It makes the relationships I have more difficult then they should be, but in working to heal it I become stronger. I’m going to live my life moment by moment. I’m going to keep hope and faith in my life. I’m going to live everyday of my life as if it were my last. I think the more I do so the smaller the hold anxiety and depression will have on me.

There was a time that I thought my mental health journey wouldn’t affect my life that much. Where I made it smaller then it was. I allowed it to sneak up on me and take control. From now on I take the reigns. I’m determined to make each day something I can look back and smile about from now on. I spent way too much time while I was sick stuck in waves of negative emotion and then flipping back into more positive emotion. I’m going to stick to the positive as much as possible from now on.

Thanks for reading! It’s good to be back finally. Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

Watching: Bird Box

It’s New Year’s Eve and I want to talk about the movie that has been a very hot topic lately: Bird Box.

Bird Box is an intense and emotional thriller that brings you on the edge of your seat. However, I found it to feel like a metaphor for life. I know in my life in a much smaller way I’m just focused on survival first. Doing what I need to do so my family and I have food on the table and that the bills are paid.

Bird Box is very different from that or course. It’s far more sinister. The forces at play are much more malicious and the end result is something more then terrifying. But the characters essentially do as we all do when we as human beings are threatened: Anything and everything that can be done to ensure survival. They forget warmth. They forget truly living. They adapt to the difficult new reality and live on.

Sometimes, I think in all our lives we forget to enjoy life. We get lost in doing task after task and make our lives into one great big to-do list and suddenly we look back and realize we didn’t let ourselves enjoy what the world has to offer. I want to live my life in such a way that should I pass on tomorrow that I have no regrets. That I at least can say I lived my life the way I wanted to an lived it well. I hadn’t been doing that for a long time in 2018, but I’m remedying that now and will continue that into the future.

Either way, watching Bird Box made me feel very intensely. Watching people make sacrifices for each other and loose loved ones and live in a world of pure chaos all trying to find at least something or someone to hold on to was terribly beautiful. The deaths were terrible. Watching people kill themselves in such horrible ways broke my heart. Yet this story really isn’t about the death. It’s about those who live on. About finding meaning in what is now. That’s an incredible message.

I’m not going to talk about the ending or even the blind aspect of the movie. Which visually put me on edge the entire movie. Because even if those things are important and have technical affect on making the person watching feel a certain way it’s not what I got out of this movie.

I gained a new perspective. A reaffirmation to move forward in life full force. To take chances and not give up. Maybe, this isn’t the typical thing that is received from watching this movie. I’m not sure how much this aspect is talked about. Either way, this is movie that is a fantastic watch. It’s definitely my brand of Sci-fi.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

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-Till next time!

What my State Of Mind is Right Now

At this moment in time my mind has come to a state that is much stronger then it’s ever been. After over a month of nonstop tears I’ve finally found a respite. It’s nice to feel this way as Christmas approaches. However, I don’t think the Christmas mood is going to find its way into my heart this year. I’ve made my peace with that. I’m focusing as much as I can on healing my hurt and slowly getting myself into a place where I let myself hope again.

Looking back on these past few months I’ve never had myself spiral this bad into depression and anxiety. I realized that decisions I made where not good and resulted in loosing something I never wanted to loose because instead of taking things calmly and trusting in fate and trusting in general I let worry and fear control me. I am never ever doing that again. In every situation that comes my way in the future I’m going to make better decisions and trust that things will work out as they should naturally. Things fall apart when you try so hard to make things work that you act so irrationally that the opposite happens.

As of right now, I have accepted my confusion about the events of the past few months. I have accepted that whatever is going to happen in the future is going to happen. I have come to realize that I’m very sorry for the things my anxiety led me to, but that my anxiety isn’t an excuse. If I work at it I can control it and I didn’t. I’m never making that mistake again.

I know now that when I fall in love with someone it’s permanent. That I’m going to feel that love in my heart for the rest of my life, but because of it I understand that sometimes the other person needs something else in life. That I can’t force a person to stay when they don’t want to and their reason is their reason and it’s not up to me to hold on. That my happiness can be overwhelming when I’m with someone, but I can find and be happy standing on my own. Because I’m a whole person. Love just makes me overflow.

I’ve also learned that break ups really can be as upsetting as tv would have you believe. If I let myself really think about it, as I have done a lot in the recent past, I can get to a state where I’m bawling and so I try not to so much.

Regardless of what happens in the future who stays in my life, who comes into it, or who leaves, or what random thing life has in store for me, I’m going to build up my armor, not necessarily to keep people away, but to get through any obstacles that may come my way in a healthy and better way. So instead of freaking out about things that are out of my control I leave it up to faith and trust that good is just around the corner.

I also have come to realize that my family and I have very different stances on a lot of things that I didn’t previously think we thought differently on. That as I grow in the future I have to trust how I feel more then getting lost in worries that aren’t even my own. To listen to concerns, but to trust in my own judgment more.

Right now, I’m building the blocks of a much steadier mind. I know how I feel and I know that I have to trust that things will turn out well in the future. I have learned many lessons and am now going to make sure they stick. I will create happiness for myself. I will be so much better as a person for all that’s happened. Even if I wished I could turn back and change a lot of it. Maybe then things wouldn’t have ended like they did (preferably not ended at all) , but all I can do is look forward.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!