Another 30 days of Yoga

I gave myself a few days rest after completing my last 30 day yoga challenge and I’m getting right back into it with another fightmaster yoga challenge for beginners!

October 3rd, 2019

Day 1: Remnant of the last day 1. Just a peaceful soft start and a good reminder to feel good in my body. To come back to peace of mind and feeling like all is well.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/CRZmGnF382c

October 5th, 2019

Day 2: I accidentally forgot to do this yesterday. But, I’m back at it today and I’m happy to enter into another yoga challenge. This video was a reminder of the very basics. Which is good because one of the biggest parts of yoga for me is the mental part. Always being present in the moment and how I think while practicing is important. My mind wandered a lot today, but that’s ok, by the end I was fully in the moment and practicing this way more and more will help with my often wandering mind.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/wITgM-N1PcY

October 6th, 2019

Day 3: Today was short and peaceful. I didn’t put my knees down for the vinyasas because I’m used to them already. In general today I felt so good in my body. I tried to do my first full push-up in my life today and I succeeded. It’s such a small thing, but I’ve been wanting to be able to do so for so long! It’s so nice that the practice that got me the strength for it has been yoga. Even if something doesn’t happen right away it doesn’t mean never. One step at a time and you will achieve amazing things!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/2qqw5AeqQz8

October 7th, 2019

Day 4: The short practices feel extra short after being used to the 30 min classes. However, it does help me get into a state of mindfulness and peace and I think that’s the most important thing. Today I progressed my forward fold where I could touch my big toe if I lift it up with my back straight. My sister made fun of me because she said it was cheating, but I’m proud of my progress nonetheless.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/FBl-7zxH0v0

October 8th, 2019

Day 5: Today was a little more intense. Plank with my forearms down always has my whole body shaking. I enjoy a good day of core work. I’m happy to continue on a practice that helps my strength and my flexibility.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/iZIvBi0AJkc

October 9th, 2019

Day 6: Another gentle practice. There was more vinyasas, but the time went by so fast that it felt like a good warm up instead of the usual shake fest. I almost didn’t make it to practice today. It’s a good reminder not to get lost in playing too much Town of Salem. I’m way too addicted to that game.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/Fkvb3sgB6dc

October 10th, 2019

Day 7: I just want to say how much I love doing this! There wasn’t any standing today, but I was practicing touching my toes on my own and I can finally do it with my back straight! After less than two months of practicing yoga and one of the biggest things for me has been achieved. I’ve been made fun of for my inability to touch my toes. Finally being able to do so without any pain is such a great feeling. I’m so proud!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/mFg2QJYn5yo

October 11th, 2019

Day 8: The past few days have been productive in a I’ve grown up and have to do adult things kind of way. The boringish taking care of setting up personal accounts and talking with insurance people and setting up a lot of stuff. Doing yoga has become something I do 100% for myself to stay grounded gain perspective and has allowed me to see the good in the seemingly boring activities that I’ve actually been pretty proud of myself for doing. There is something great about getting yourself put together in all ways.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/KOkTu6qngrY

October 12th, 2019

Day 9: Today while practicing a lot of things in my life felt clearer than normal. I realized that I felt ok within myself and how things are right now. Even though I know my life is changing and will continue to change I’m happy and ok in this transition period of the unknown. I’m proud of just being myself and my refusal to give up on life. I’m healthy. Actually healthy, mind, body, and soul. I remained patient with myself and I’m finally standing and seeing how far I’ve come. I don’t have depression anymore and I’ve come to be able to combat any triggers to my anxiety like a pro. I feel good. Really good. I brought myself out of the darkest my mind had ever been. I truly am grateful I showed up for myself. It even shows with how I care for myself everyday and am not afraid to buy something I like when I see it. I am my own warrior and I am unbelievably proud.
Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/ymNC71KWY1M

October 13th, 2019

Day 10: Sometimes after a really good day things don’t go exactly as planned. Today was one such day, but doing this instead of giving in to apathy and realizing that one bad day isn’t going to ruin the rest of them. Practicing yoga is a reminder that I have a choice in every moment to look at the bright side and not let a negative period dictate how I see things. I can overcome it. Each and every day.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/lJ0G8RgYI6w

October 14th, 2019

Day 11: Lots of twists today! Which felt amazing on my back. My spine feels so good after today’s practice. I’m in a very happy mood today and I’m so grateful for it! I attribute a lot of the peace I find in my life recently to my decision to practice yoga. It’s always the time of day my mind is clearest. I’m loving the practice!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/5wG-RKX-2Xg

October 15th, 2019

Day 12: she did a variation on a yoga pose today that I hadn’t done before so I messed it up a little, but I got it eventually. I did my practice today with a charcoal face mask on so it felt like a double dose of self care. Today was quite the productive day! We shall see what tomorrow brings.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/Rt3s0q8-YTA

October 17th, 2019

Day 13: I didn’t practice yesterday and I almost didn’t practice today. But, every time I decide to even when I don’t really feel like it I remember why I enjoy it so much. It’s peaceful for me. It helps me to feel ok with where I’m at as a person. It’s part of how I care for myself.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/FWHVtB7zEq4

October 18th, 2019

Day 14: today was a mediation day which felt so good after working hard all day today. This yoga practice is slowly changing my life. I’m truly grateful for it.

October 19th, 2019

Day 15: Today was a good ab workout. I don’t know if it’s just that I was tired today or what, but after I finished I had a tear on my face and I don’t know why? I wasn’t sad or anything, but a tear came anyway.

October 20th, 2019

Day 16: I practiced in the morning today. In the morning my body is a little more stiff, but still it’s not as bad as it used to be. Overall a nice smooth practice today.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/AOYL5MTVsGI

October 21st, 2019

Day 17: In general, this time around it’s been a general yoga flow with bit too many new things thrown in. What’s been good about that is that this practice has been more about a good mental state than anything else. Being healthy in the mind shapes the way you see everything around you. The peace I find practicing yoga is incredible. It feels so good.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/GttbhZ1mQkU

October 22nd, 2019

Day 18: I love feeling the increase to my arm strength. I have so much more control over slowly lowering myself down then I had before. The most minute of progress is still progress and it should be celebrated!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/lPEEnsyME-E

October 23rd, 2019

Day 19: Today felt pretty tough for some reason. I also felt a weird construction in my throat that felt like stuck energy that wanted to be released. I know that by tomorrow or a few days from now that should feel a lot better. Other then that I really worked my core today. Maybe I’ll do a morning practice tomorrow.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/b-k4RH5BA-0

October 24th, 2019

Day 20: Today also made me tear up. I don’t know what it is about practicing recently, I end up shedding a few tears. I’m not sad about much of anything really right now, but the practice brings it out anyway.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/cgL75KRUfM0

October 25th, 2019

Day 21: During this meditation I cried a bit. Because it was about love. Imagining people you love, people you see from day today, people you dislike, your family members, pets, etc.. you tell all these people that you wish them well, that you want them to be happy and healthy and you do this too while imagining yourself. It’s a very powerful meditation. At one point my ear started ringing… and it isn’t the first time that’s happened while I meditated (even if it doesn’t mean anything). All around a powerful experience.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/ZUsRp3pofPQ

October 28th, 2019

Day 22: I am so happy! I accomplished both sides of the side plank! I was shaking like crazy, but I held it and I couldn’t before. I’m kinda glad that I took two days off. I didn’t really want to, but I did need a break.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/DadDEOPIWB0

October 29th, 2019

Day 23:
Today’s practice felt really good in my body. I felt like I stretched everything deeply and my body feels warm and comfortable. All around a great practice!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/deTfbPqrEqk

November 6th, 2019

Day 24: So it’s been over a week since I continued this challenge. Partially, that’s because I was super excited to put on some make-up for Halloween. Partially, it’s because I knew I was going to six flags on the 3rd for Halloween. But mostly, it’s because I had the first depressive episode I have had in a long time. It started at the end of November 1st and lasted until today. I spent that time mostly watching Scream Queens and distracting myself with playing Town of Salem and reading a book for a book tour review. All this to say.. I’m doing better today. I didn’t really have an intention of starting back everything till tomorrow, but I knew that if I wanted to feel better I needed to get back into things as soon as possible. Some personal stuff happened and it freaked me out, but I know we’ll push through and in a few months things will settle down again. This is probably the fastest I’ve ever pulled myself out of a depressive spiral and I’m super proud of myself for it. I’m dedicated to my well being and mental health. So if I have to keep pulling myself out of spirals a thousand times until they are no more I will. Because they are lessening and that is something I am truly grateful for. On another note, today’s practice was intense. A strength workout for my first time back over a week wasn’t as fun as you’d think. But, I still did it and that’s worth a whole lot.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/lpqW_GOgHpQ

November 7th, 2019

Day 25: I feel a thousand times better today. This workout felt amazing. I realized I could do a deeper happy baby. My body felt open. I felt the negative energy from worry and depression I talked about yesterday melt away. I feel so much better.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/JMd4HHHwy_g

November 8th, 2019

Day 26: My arms felt pretty tired today. Today’s practice was a little more difficult. However, there was a lot of downtime and I did take some extra breaks so it was definitely doable. I’m feeling much better overall today and I’m excited for what tomorrow will bring!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/ZzDKrGr6J3o

November 9th, 2018

Day 27: I thought I would be exhausted today because I worked 8 hours, but I’m not. The past couple of practices have felt intense and this was no exception.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/IwAdoSYgWWE

November 10th, 2019

Day 28: I want to go back to this meditation anytime in my life where I’m feeling down or out of sorts. It is a beautiful mediation full of truths we don’t always want to believe for ourselves. I loved it. It brought me a lot of peace.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/hKw9lpBSTIk

November 11th, 2019

Day 29: Today’s practice felt so so good. My back feels wonderful. My mind feels peaceful. I loved every second of it. I’ve noticed recently that my hips have opened up a lot and that I can go deeper into a lot of the hip-opening stretches. I also noticed that as excited as I am for every little piece of progress I am also quite happy with where I’m at currently. This includes in my general life as well. A lot of the time I’m concerned with when something will happen for me in my life, but not so much anymore. I’m pretty happy with how things are right now and that’s saying a lot.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/icxACBM5DC8

November 12th, 2019

Day 30: Another practice that simply felt amazing! It’s the end of another 30 days of yoga and I might not have done it all consecutively, but I did do it to the best of my ability. I feel my body being stronger, lighter, and more at peace than ever. It’s one of the best gifts I could have ever given myself.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/jbCK8BwSVtw

All in all: I’m grateful to have committed myself to this experience. This time was more tumultuous then it has been previously, but that’s ok. It happens. But, in the end it helped me learn a few things about myself and continue to grow as a person.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

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Hello July!!

I haven’t done this sort of post in a long time, but this month is going to be a fun one and I’m really excited about it.

This month, I’m going to visit magic mountain for the first time in years! I’m celebrating July 4th and my sisters birthday this month so I’m really pumped about it.

As far as reading goes my goal is to read this beauty finally:

I meant to start reading it one of these past weekends, but I still haven’t reviewed ‘The Beholder’ and I’m focusing on getting that done first, but after that I’m devouring this book!

After ‘Escaping from Houdini’ I will probably finally finish reading ‘Wicked Saints’ and get that review done as well.

Of course, this month I will also be continuing on with the marvel-verse series. I plan on seeing Spider-man: Homecoming at some point this month and while I may not discuss it till well in the future I am definitely not going to miss out on seeing this film in theaters. (On a side note: I also plan on seeing Annabel Comes Home this month as well, which I will be posting about so I’m excited for that!)

Other then all that, I’m generally excited to see what July brings. It’s stacking up to become one of the best months of the year and I’m just happy to be able to discuss it with all of you!

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

Watching: Poms

Just yesterday I got the opportunity to go watch Poms and so I took it. I gotta say I’m glad I did. It was a really beautiful, feel good, sort of film.

Movie description:

Martha is an introverted woman who moves to a retirement community that has shuffleboard, golf, bowling and other activities. Hoping to be left alone, she meets Sheryl, a fun-loving neighbor who insists that they become best pals. After coming out of her shell, Martha and her new friend decide to form a cheerleading squad with their fellow residents. As the two women hold auditions, they soon learn that it’s never too late to follow your dreams, even when the odds are stacked against you.

My Thoughts:

A lot of these films with elderly characters tend to jump out and surprise me. There’s a sort of humor and character that is incredibly strong that comes from age and the youth in it can be something surprising for a younger person. However, every time I go to a film like this one I see mostly elderly people going to watch it and I think that’s such a shame. I mean we’re all going to get to that age someday (ideally) so why not have a glimpse of what could be? Also, films like this are also generally humorous and joyful so I wish more people gave it a chance.

Anyways, what I loved most about this film was that it showed it doesn’t matter what age you are or what is going wrong in your life, you can still make the best of things and do something amazing with what you have in front of you. Martha was at the end of her life, she had cancer, she just moved out of the apartment she had lived in for 43 years, she seemed to have no family, and any old friends weren’t present. Essentially she moved away so she could die alone.

But, she finds friends in this new place. She finds the rebirth of the old hobby she’d never once thought she’d have a chance to get back. She found herself a second chance and a means to really live out her last days instead of dying locked up.

I loved each friend she made. Each woman had their own beautiful personalities and something of youth in them. They were bold and funny and just generally wonderful. Yes, they had their flaws and their own way of things, but that’s human.

Maybe it’s just that I overthink things until they reach oblivion, but I want to really live my life in such a way that I do the things that I want to do and don’t let life pass me by in the now. It’s something that most of us think about and want, but a lot of times we create the obstacles to be larger then they really are and we let things slip through our fingers when they really don’t have to. I don’t want to live my life and be old and grey crying over the fact that I didn’t let myself really live for the majority of my life. I don’t want to say that I missed out on this or that opportunity when I could have made something work.

In this lifetime, I want to be at the end of my lifetime saying ‘I did it! I lived! I loved and I loved fully! I gave it my best.’ And to go out remembering it all and smiling at how the light was always greater then the dark through it all.

and maybe, the message of this movie is simple. Something quite on the nose, but you don’t need things to be complicated to enjoy them. This movie made me laugh and shed a few tears and gave me several hours of meditating over how I actually want to live. So for me, this movie is 1000% worth watching.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

Spending Time With Family

This blog has become very personal recently, and honestly I like it. Sharing my ups and downs and more what’s going on with me, especially when there has been a lot going on with me recently is pretty cool. Being able to remain open and honest about my anxieties, depression from events that have past, and what I’m healing mentally is really awesome! I’m very grateful to have a platform where I can be real with others.

That being said today was another nice day. It’s a day I needed. It’s also a day I think my family needed too. Myself, my mom, and my sister went to visit some relatives on my mom’s side and it was a pretty chill (also cold) and relaxing day. I may have felt tired all day, but I ate some great food, learned how to play a game called Mexican Train, and got to go on a nice walk with my niece and nephew. We were on a quest to fly a drone that just didn’t pan out, but otherwise it was a nice walk.

It feels weird, but I’m relaxing into life after a long time of feeling afraid of it. Even when I was happy about it I was afraid that the happiness would go away, but now I’m really feeling cool with whatever comes and goes and that feeling is amazing.

2018 in general has been a big year for me, but I’ve grown a lot especially mentally this year. I’m more in tune now with what I want and how I feel then I’ve ever been and I’m genuinely excited for the first time to see what 2019 brings. Before I was honestly terrified, but now I have an odd peaceful feeling about it. It feels like a year I purged a lot of emotion. Old wounds that have now mostly healed. Especially wounds that I didn’t realize I had.

As crazy as it is to say I feel like I needed to go through all the difficult things I went through this year so that I could become stronger as a person. Because I do feel stronger. Yeah, I hurt a lot this year. I dealt with a lot of general unhappiness. I also didn’t deal with certain things in the best way. But, I’m human and I’m still learning. I think no matter how old you get there is still something to learn. I’m only 20, I’m going to make a lot of mistakes in my life. I just have to make it a point to try my best.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

Signing Off Habitica: A Major Change

Recently, I’ve been having the time of my life. The world looks so different to me now, but it isn’t the world that’s changed it’s me. I’ve changed. Or what I should say is I’ve changed back. I am back to my roots. To who I am at the very core of myself and that’s been something really incredible.

A while back I made a post about this amazing app called Habitica. I used it religiously and it helped me stay on track. See my problem for a long time was apathy. I was stuck in my own brain thinking nothing was going to become of me. I was in a situation (still am in a situation) that wasn’t my fault, but I had no choice in it. I thought my life had always been kinda like that. A series of unfortunate events (I need to read that series). I thought it was always going to be that way. So I gave up on myself. I had my passions, but I decided not to partake in them. I was a shell of a person. I let what I couldn’t control, control me.

It took a LONG time, but I looked at myself in the mirror one day and thought to myself “Is this what you want?” A very broad searching question that recognized that at that point I was going nowhere. Just going through motions. Barely living. I hated myself. There is no better way to put it. The hate fed into itself and told me that there was no way for me to come out of it. I was drowning and I didn’t want to so the answer I gave myself was “No.” I wasn’t living my life the way I wanted to. If I was going to make something of myself, I had to take action. That decision was one of the best decisions I had never made.

As part of that change toward positive action, I downloaded Habitica. It made me accountable. I enjoyed it. I liked the little pets and the idea of my actions leveling me up and gaining more skills. It’s a fun and enjoyable app. It brought me through a hard time. It helped me figure out how to achieve all my goals for the day every day.

However, my life has changed in a new way. I no longer need to keep continuous track of every action I take during the day. I have learned what my priorities are. I have learned how to make sure my main goals are complete. In a lot of ways spending time on Habitica now takes away from my time doing the things it’s helped me to keep track of. Plus, now I have a completely different mindset. I can keep myself doing what I need to on my own. I don’t really need Habitica anymore.

I have three different writing priorities and when I get that done I do as I please. Recently I barely use habitica at all and I think now is the time to say goodbye. I am so grateful for the impact this app had on me. It helped me figure out how I wanted to take action. Now, I want to let myself go on my own for a while. Do things more comfortably. I am more in tune with myself then I have been in a long time.

It’s a big thing because it means I am now comfortable enough with myself, with what I accomplish each day, to know that it is possible to give time for everything. So much so that I don’t feel guilty if I choose to relax a little. Most days, I’m too drawn to write anyway that it happens almost on its own. Plus I have fun doing it. I have fun writing my blog posts. In every aspect of my life I am so much happier.

So for now I say goodbye, but hello to a new day. New chances to continue writing as I like. Time for enjoyment as much as hard work. Because I had forgotten that in life you can have both. You can have a chance at all you dream of. I’m letting myself take whatever paths I so choose, and you know what? I’m going to have a blast doing it!

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

Feeling Good

You know what’s great? Getting up at 5:30 am and still feeling amazing! My mood has steadily gotten progressively better over the course of the past two months. At this point, I wake up and nothing brings me down.

I’d talked before about being happier then I’d ever been, but I don’t think I discussed how easily I’ve discarded every worry I have in the process. I don’t worry about much of anything anymore (except my dad, I won’t ever stop worrying about my dad). Life doesn’t sound like something to fear anymore. I am more then willing to embrace every little ounce of joy that comes into my life now. It feels amazing.

I feel that anything that life has in store is something I can handle. Recently, I’ve felt like ‘Feeling Good’ by Nina Simone it truly feels like a new Dawn, a new day, a new life.. and I want to grasp at it and dance and laugh in the light of it. I’m having trouble fighting my smile right now. In truth I think I’d been tired of living my life the way I had been. I wasn’t letting myself enjoy anything. Now, I watch movies and listen to music as much as I want to and I don’t feel guilty. I let myself have fun.

Even this blog has changed quite a bit. I was kinda unhappy with it before. I took a lot of breaks from it because of that. When I first started I wrote what I wanted every day and I didn’t have to think about it. I missed that greatly. Now, I find myself doing so again, but now in an even more authentic way because I’m being open about my love for things that aren’t just books. My Halloween posts this month have been some of my favorite posts to write that I’ve written in AGES. It makes me sad that I never discussed how deep my love for horror always was on here before.

I think what’s changing in me is that I’m becoming more willing to be authentic to myself. To who I am as a person. I have ALWAYS loved books. I ALWAYS will. I read everyday. My passion lies in writing. However stories are everywhere. I see it in art. In music. In movies and tv shows. In our memories with the people we love. I want to celebrate how stories touch our lives in those aspects too.

So this blog is to be a testament to that. To all the things that deserve celebration. To share my thoughts and my dreams. To connect with all of you who wish to celebrate in much the same way. To talk about whatever I’m feeling. I think that’s the only way I can happily root myself in my blog again. To create a space for myself to be open about anything. This months posts have been a testament to this. I’ve been having a blast.

I’m feeling amazing. Not good. Not fine. Not just ok. I’m feeling amazing! I feel like I can be true to myself in a much more authentic way lately and I don’t ever want to stop.

So thank you. All of you. For being with me on my journey. For talking books with me. For being there in the ups and downs that have come to pass these past two years. New and old I thank you. It’s been wonderful. I know it will continue to be so.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

-Till next time!