I Have Work To Do

I have a lot of problems with getting myself to do what I’m aching to do. It has effected a lot of my life and because my life has been so messy all the time recently I feel like I might as well surrender to the mess and go with the chaos and just do what I want.

So my plan is simple. Decide what I want to do and do it. First things first. The reason I haven’t posted since the last post was I got scammed twice, lost myself to depression, and found comfort in my many conversations with my partner after. To put it colorfully I fucked up. The anxiety kept me from school work and because it was my last week of the term I became a hermit and could only do school work for a time.

The great part is this. I’m tired of being behind. I’m tired of so much outside bullshit happening and I’m ready to actually just focus and take the world by storm. My world.

I’m not here to convince anyone to be, do, or think a certain way. I’m here to share myself and my ideas and learn and create and become more and different all the time. On my journey, I share what I feel should be shared in order to give something to others to connect with and feel inspired from on their own journeys.

I’m here to have fun and share fun and to mess up and to do really really well and to love and jump and dance and decide and I am finally ready to live. To live for me. To live and just give my damn soul to my desires. To feel vigorously and beautifully alive.

So firstly I am going to do one of the most fun and incredible things by finally writing my Scooby doo fanfic. I have wanted to do this for so long. I have loved Scooby Doo since I was a child. One of my favorite pictures in the world is one of me in the mystery machine that happened to be serviced at an auto repair place. My heart lit up to be there.

I want to write a mystery for our beloved Mystery Inc. friends to solve. Maybe make it a little darker then our friends tend to experience, but still at the heart Scooby Dooby Doo. Once it’s finished I’ll either publish it on wattpad or figure out another place to publish it, but regardless this is something I would like you all to experience and read.

This also means watching some of the movies and tv shows of Scooby for research and seeing at the heart what makes Scooby so great and how I can make a story that unique yet still holds that Scooby Doo specialness at the center.

Believing in myself to write this passion project will be the first time in a long time I’ve allowed myself to honor myself and let go of doubt. Doubt does nothing to serve me. It’s crippled me. It’s made me think I’m a failure. It’s driven me to inaction again and again and I say enough. It’s enough.

I am here. I am going to read and write and play games and write whatever posts I damn well please on this blog. I will do it everyday that I can.

Another thing that sets my heart on fire is learning some dances because it pleases me. So I will do that as well. Maybe, I’ll post video on here at some point. Maybe I’ll keep it to myself. Either way I’m going to have fun.

Also, exploring makeup more. I wear makeup most days and I love to experiment, but there’s never too much of that and I think when I’m more confident I’ll share some looks on instagram and see what comes of it.

The last thing that’s important to me to mention is continuing my best thing that happened in a day journal going. Even on days that are extremely depressing. I want to remember that there is good in every day.

I realize now with the fact I haven’t given up. In spite of everything. That I’m here typing this right now at almost 3 am. That that’s how done I am with inaction. As well as the complete joy I feel writing this. Now I can truly say I am back and here to stay. So much to come. I am ready now.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Join me in my live streams on Twitch! 

Check out my INSTAGRAM and TWITTER! 

If you’d like a quality candle check out THE SISTERS OF TWILIGHT WEBSITE.

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My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!!

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Becoming StarsWolfe

One of my favorite things to do for many years to get myself feeling more positive has always been to watch people stream and play video games. For a long time it felt like a pipe dream. I was very aware of the things I didn’t have that would make streaming in the first place impossible. Things like a camera or a good computer I could edit on or even simply the time to stream at all.

However, after many life issues popping up I decided to myself to focus on what I do have. I have a ps5 and a tv I can play it on. I don’t need to have the rest of the supplies just yet to rig a character I can start vtubing as. To start, when I have the time in the mornings to play I can stream it. Over time it can build up on its own.

I have plenty of games I want to play and try to platinum. On my own I’ve been playing and working on getting the platinum for God of War Ragnorok on Give me God of War mode. Streaming the rest of that journey will be so much fun.

Currently I am 18% of the way to getting the platinum for it and there’s plenty more to go. My goal is that every morning for 2 hours or so I’ll be able to stream. Sometimes I’ll stream alone playing single player games and sometimes I’ll be playing with my best friend whatever game she’s excited about playing.

I know I have to take it day by day. However, everyday when I get up now I feel the excitement of doing something that feels so good. Doing something I always wanted to do. Something that had always been a comfort to me when I’d watch videos online. Starting to be able to do that for others and giving people something positive and fun to attach themselves to is a joy to me.

Come have fun with me and watch me stream!

https://twitch.tv/starswolfe

And here’s a link to my current streaming schedule: https://m.twitch.tv/starswolfe/schedule

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Check out my INSTAGRAM and TWITTER! 

If you’d like a quality candle check out THE SISTERS OF TWILIGHT WEBSITE.

If you would like to support me directly here’s a link to BUY ME A KOFI! 

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!!

New Years Goals 2022

I have thought about what I wanted to do for this year for a good long time. I gave myself December to relax and feel good and prepare myself for 2022. I want to do a lot this year. In a very focused and determined way. I’m so excited.

The first thing I wanted to focus on was going back to school and become a pharmacy tech to make enough money to better support my family. At the same time after doing that working towards being a pharmacist.

In writing I wanted to focus on writing four first drafts this year. So one draft every three months. Starting with a pseudo paranormal horror that I’ve had in my brain forever. Which also means I’ll be watching some fun paranormal horror movies over the coming months to immerse myself in that mindset.

Also in writing I wanted to see if I could write a poetry book and self publish it. As of right now I’m not sure what theme it will have, but I’ll figure it out soon enough.

The last thing in writing I wanted to blog post every day. Which I feel like will actually happen this year because I’m going to have a monthly gift to myself for accomplishing my goals for each individual month.

As for reading I would like to start reading much more often and I hope to complete reading at least 50 books in 2022. To help with this I’m doing a monthly book exchange with a friend sharing our favorite books. For January I’m lending her Starfish and I can’t wait to hear what she thinks. Other then the book she’ll lend me, I will also be reading The Assignment by Liza Wiemer, Replica by Lauren Oliver, and Jack Kerouac is Dead to me by Gae Polisner. As well as two DC comics I was behind reviewing.

My other goal is exercise and it has my favorite prize attached to it if I keep it up all the way into September which is this super awesome Harley Quinn “Kill the Justice League” cosplay that I will buy and feel like a badass in should I keep my fitness goals throughout the year.

For January if I keep my goals I want to get myself this custom Red Riot Sweater. Something that I know I’ll never want to take off and that I’ll feel like I can do anything in. Which will be the perfect thing to wear over the year I want to do so much in.

This year will be about staying positive and motivated and progressing forward and embracing my life. I know that life happens and it can get difficult but I’m so ready to take on this year and do the best I possibly can.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! Let me know what your goals are for 2022!

Check out my INSTAGRAM and TWITTER! 

Check out THE SISTERS OF TWILIGHT WEBSITE.

If you would like to support me directly here’s a link to BUY ME A KOFI! 

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources:

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

I Watched the Scream Movies For the First Time

I have been a major horror movie kick recently. Wanting to dip my toes into classic horror films and also newer films too. I’ve felt like getting to know more about the different horror genres and enjoy all that horror has to offer.

So I started with a classic that I felt would be fun that I’d never seen before and that was the Scream films. Especially with the 5th movie coming out in January I thought it’d be appropriate.

Scream

The opening scene of this film is so good. The dialog is very entertaining and I think those first 5 minutes made the franchise. I think the first scream is the best of the four. All of them are meta, but I think it introduces everything so well and it’s funny and suspenseful throughout.

Scream 2

Scream 2 was a mixed bag for me. I liked it. I actually jumped during one part and it surprised me. It was very self aware and meta, but I also felt that it somewhat stopped being a parody of itself and became what it was parodying. I did think that the ending was interesting when the killers are revealed. I wasn’t really expecting it.

Scream 3

I feel like I felt similarly to scream 3 as scream 2. The problem is I’m not really remembering much of what happens in this film. Upon looking it up I did like this one more and feel it’s the better of the sequels. I liked who the killer was. I thought that final scene was very interesting. While not as iconic as the original it was good and entertaining.

Scream 4

I’m currently rewatching this one as I only half paid attention watching it the first time. I remembered the beginning pretty well, but the middle gets lost. Somehow even with me only having half paid attention it still feels way better to me then the second film. The extra meta in the beginning and then the way it ends. It was a lot of fun.

All in all:

This franchise is such a fun one. It’s very high in entertainment value, but it’s also not serious enough that you can’t be enjoying other things as well in the meantime. I’m really excited for the 5th movie and seeing how more modern technology changes the dynamics of this killer and what hi jinx ensues.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Check out my INSTAGRAM and TWITTER! 

Check out THE SISTERS OF TWILIGHT WEBSITE.

If you would like to support me directly here’s a link to BUY ME A KOFI! 

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center

Some BLM resources:

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

Vote for my Spooky Haiku!

Last night I entered a poetry competition and I would love if your reading this to take a little time and vote on my little poem.

Click here for the link!

It was so fun to celebrate Halloween by entering thing little competition. I appreciate all your support.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Check out my INSTAGRAM and TWITTER! 

Check out THE SISTERS OF TWILIGHT WEBSITE.

If you would like to support me directly here’s a link to BUY ME A KOFI! 

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources:

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

Watching: The Bureau of Magical Things: Season One

I watched this based off of Netflix picking something for me to watch one day. I gave it a chance and I found that I really enjoyed this cute and magical show.

This is a fantasy show that brought me back to feeling like a kid again. I adored elves and fairies and magic with all my heart. This show reignited that love and made me feel that joy again.

I love all the characters. Kyra the main character who thought she was human, but learned she was actually born a triling, part human, elf, and fairy. She learns how to control and harness her new power throughout the show.

Darra who is a complete cutie who is trying always to do his best for what’s right and doesn’t always show that directly. His sister Imogen who you feel like is a rebel, but she also just wants to do her best to do the right thing.

The fairies, Lily and Ruksy! Lily is an all around girly girl and is sweet as can be. Ruksy is bookish and quietly intelligent and is someone you always want rooting for you.

Kyra’s best friend is Peter. He always believed there’s something more to the world. Having a triling friend and learning about her new powers, he realizes he was right all along.

All together, this group learns about magic. Bravely contains it to keep it from the knowledge of humans and get into trouble along the way. It’s a light and fun show I’ve been happy to watch!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter! 

ICheck out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Watching: Gunpowder Milkshake

It was pulling me to watch this film with every part of my being so, I let myself enjoy it and I absolutely adored it.

This film was funny a good bit gorey and a whole lot of fun. I loved the imagery of it. The neon and the milkshakes themselves really stood out. The diner-esque set ups that weren’t just the diner itself. The dentist hospital with the very neon feel. The gorgeous library that had some of the most beautiful themed rooms.

Every single fight was absolutely 100% unique. The curiosity became how would Sam kill next? She was someone you couldn’t look away from and the way she fought was so different based on the situation presented to her. Everything was made to be a weapon. Weather that be a gun, a milkshake, a bowling ball case, or a car. There was no thing that wouldn’t be utilized by Sam.

The story too was so much fun. She’s an assassin taking care of a little girl who is the daughter of a man she kills. All of it is so lovely. The connection she makes to her. The connection that Sam’s mom broke when Sam was young. How it all connects and comes together at the end.

I loved this movie. I was smiling and excited and so curious at every moment. I loved Emily the little girl Sam protects and how brave she was and how she declares herself as an apprentice.

This movie is so fluid and so cool. Almost like watching a dance routine. Definitely a lot of the fights felt that way. It was so awesome to watch!

All in all, there’s not much more I can say, but that I felt so happy watching this movie. I didn’t stop smiling and I had a blast. It’s a glorious bit of fun.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter! 

ICheck out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Watching: The Suicide Squad

Another fun movie night with my best friend last night. This time it was my choice and of course my excitement lead me to choosing ‘The Suicide Squad’. I knew the day before that this is what I wanted to watch and I’m very proud of my choice.

Looking at this poster, everything you need to know about this movie is right there. It was so much fun to watch. To my surprise, the same night my boyfriend texted me that he was watching this with his sister. I know he hasn’t seen any of the other movies related to this which is why I was shocked. This movie is definitely a stand alone so it didn’t matter. But, I was also excited cause I had already told my best friend I was going to watch this with her that night.

One thing this movie did was further increase my crush on Harley Quinn.

Harley’s growth is something I think everyone’s been talking about that’s seen the movie. She’s owned by no one and she saves herself and becomes more free in who she is as a person and I adore this for her! Every scene she was in was gold and watching her on the screen made me so happy. She’s witty and unpredictable and so strong and wild and free and one of the most amazing heroes in this film. I love her.

I now want a rat named Sebastian. This little guy I loved from the very beginning. He’s so adorable and has such a big personality. So many of the funniest and quirkiest moments in the film included him. I would die for Sebastian.

Rat catcher and Bloodsport had some of the most wholesome moments in the whole film. I wanted to give them both a hug so many times. I just adored them.

King shark a.k.a sharky boy or just sharky to me gave me so many laughs. I loved every moment he was on screen. He also caused some of the most gruesome deaths, but the balance he had as a character made me forgive him. I loved him too.

I thought at the beginning I wouldn’t care much about this character, but I did. His mom being everywhere was hilarious. Plus his power was so awesome looking. He was so fun to watch.

All in all, I absolutely had a blast watching the suicide squad. It’s a delightful film with dumb humor that was perfect for my heart. I’m definitely going to be rewatching in the future for the pure enjoyment of it.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter! 

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Let’s Talk About: Genshin Impact

Genshin Impact is the best mobile game I’ve ever played. The fact they made it free is amazing and I’m so happy about it. I’ve played almost from the very start of its release and I’ve loved every moment of exploration and every event and enjoying pulling for the characters I’ve wanted most.

Definitely my two favorite moments where this:

Pulling Ganyu on the first 10 pull on her banner!!! I remember when I first saw Ganyu was going to be a character and instantly I got so much excitement. She’s so beautiful and I kept telling my boyfriend how much I wanted her. Then, was so excited to show him that I got her and on the first 10 pull too! It was a great moment!

And this:

So this pull was somehow even more special because it was pulled during the picture event and I needed one last thing for to unlock the last trove and my boyfriend sent me the very last color I needed. Then those primogems were just enough to do one pull. That pull got me Xiao. I swear I was on such a high after this pull because it fell into place so perfectly and it’s like with that one little gift my boyfriend sent me he got me Xiao. Plus, the odds of that happening are astronomical, but it did and I felt so much joy and love and awe in that moment and for so long after. I’ll always treasure Xiao a bit extra just because of how he came to be on my team. 🙂

My two favorite events have been the most recent Theatre Mechanicus.

And the event that got me my little seelee buddy:

The tower defense was so awesome. Along with all the lantern rite tales that gave so many great primogems! Definitely the best event so far. I just really love that I have a little buddy following me everywhere so I’ll forever love that I got to do that seelie event.

Already I’ve made so many great memories because of this game. It’s so gorgeous and fun and so massive and I know it’ll continue to grow over time and I’m so excited to see what comes next! I know I’m excited to see Rosaria and Hu Tao to come to Genshin! I’ll definitely be pulling for both when they arrive. As it stands right now my most wanted characters are QiQi, Keqing, and Klee. I love all the girl character what can I say? I have my two most wanted of the male characters Razor and Xiao. I do admit I’ll love to get Dainsleif when he comes out too.

I’m just so excited about this game and all that’ll be added to it! I know it’ll all be amazing!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter! 

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website! 

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter! 

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

My Horror Movie Triple Feature

I have been in the biggest horror movie mood lately and it’s been the best. Today I took advantage of all of it by doing a horror movie triple feature. Well somewhat quadruple feature cause I’m watching one more as I write this, but ultimately it’s been amazing!

You’re Next

This movie was amazing! I loved Erin and I loved the plot. It was super intense and I didn’t know the twist before it happened. Well, the initial one, but gosh it was so cool!

The Adams Family

Gosh this was adorable and I loved it so much! I loved the story it was so cute. The art was so awesome. The nostalgia felt great too. It was funny and made me feel the full on Halloween feeling and it’s just amazing.

Zombieland

This also was a really cute and fun movie. All I can think is “Get Tallahassee a Twinkie!”. It’s fun and still spooky in its own way. I really enjoyed it. It made me laugh.

While I’m writing this I’m watching the second movie and so far it’s great too. Today’s been so much fun. The blonde is crazy, but very funny. The flirting is so weird, but I love it.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter! 

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website! 

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter! 

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

If you love my content and wish to offer me extra support by me a Kofi on my donation page!