May Goals: 2023

I’ve been afraid to do a goals post for a long while. Even if I’ve done them in the past I’ve tended to fail every single one of them in the recent times. However, I don’t know exactly why, but I truly believe in myself for this month of May. I have purpose. I have a drive and I have decided to expect more of myself for once in my life. Not only to expect it of myself, but to accomplish what I’ve set out to do.

To begin I’ve awaken extra early this morning. I set my alarm for 6am and got up at 5:40. It was an initial shock to me that my body got me up before my alarm. However, I feel it’s because I really and truly do want this.

I have curbed my ambition for a very long time, but the time feels like now for me to embrace my ambition and go for everything I’m wanting to accomplish.

This goals post being on the 29th instead of the 30th has a purpose too. I have a very special announcement tomorrow that I hope my fellow readers will very much enjoy.

Beyond that, yes indeed this blog will be a daily one once more. I feel that it is time to break the cycle of wanting this and not following through and that goes for everything that I discuss here.

I will be focusing on my bodily and nutritional health this month. I will limit myself to 1 Popsicle/ice cream/treat at the end of the day. I will do my best to avoid processed foods. I will make myself a nice breakfast every morning. For some reason I always know I can make myself some really tasty eggs and I don’t do it and now I can’t make any excuses. I will have only healthy snacks during the day: vegetables, fruit, or nuts.

I will also be exercising this month. It could be a video exercise or a dance tutorial or if I don’t bring myself to exercise early enough 100 squats and sit-ups before I take a shower. It feels like I should be able to make time during the week in the mornings and then on the weekends do the sit ups and squats.

I will get all my homework done in a timely manner and have it nicely paced throughout the week and in a way where I get 2 to 3 days of no homework per week.

I will be writing a book for at least 1 hour everyday. It doesn’t matter if I do it in 10 minute sprints here and there I need to be writing that long everyday.

I will be reading for at least 30 minutes everyday. Added to that that I must finish what I start I will at least have several books read by the end of this month.

I have finally also purchased the screen protector I can use to draw with for my iPad. So this means I will be drawing everyday and either doing a tutorial drawing everyday or a regular one to practice and get better at using my iPad for drawing.

The book I will be finishing reading this month first will be:

Capturing the devil

I wanted to finish this last month but I froze again and it didn’t happen. I’ve read the beginning parts of it and that’s about it. However, this month will be a completely different story. This month I will read a lot more. If I do it right I should finish at least 6 to 10 books this May.

The game I will be focused on the platinum for this month:

A Plague Tale Requiem

This game is the sequel to Plague Tale: Innocence which was a masterpiece and one of the most amazing platinum experiences that I’ve ever had. I truly love this series and I can’t wait to add Plague Tale Requiem to my platinum trophies list.

Anime series I will finish this month:

Attack on Titan season 3 and 4

During my downtime I will be completing Attack on titan seasons 3 and 4. I’ve been trying to complete the series for a little while, but I’ve fallen into the trap of starting other things. So in May this gets completed.

All in all, this is all that I wish to accomplish this coming month. I have high hopes to do really well. It is all achievable. I want to make myself proud again. My reward for actually completing everything as I want to is the same as last month:

The Monica nendoriod. Since I have completed the Doki Doki platinum last month, I think having her figure will be an awesome little personal trophy to always commemorate one of my favorite games.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! 

Join me in my live streams on Twitch! 

Check out my INSTAGRAM and TWITTER! 

If you’d like a quality candle check out THE SISTERS OF TWILIGHT CANDLE COMPANY WEBSITE

If you would like to support me directly here’s a link to BUY ME A KOFI! 

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!!

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May Ps Plus Essential Titles

On May second all ps plus subscribers will be able to add these three games to their game library. Here is the ps plus line up and what I think about it.

Grid Legends

GRID Legends delivers thrilling wheel-to-wheel motorsport action. Create dream race events, hop into live races, experience a dramatic virtual production story, and embrace the sensation of spectacular racing.

This game is the headliner for this month of ps plus. However for me personally I’m never too interested in racing games. It is kinda interesting what they do with this game. The crash physics and the rival aspects. Of the racing games that have been a part of ps plus in the past I feel like I might be more inclined to try this one.

Descenders

Descenders is extreme downhill freeriding for the modern era, with procedurally generated worlds, and where mistakes have real consequences. Will you lead your team to glory and become the next legendary Descender?

This is a procedurally generated biking game so, for me I don’t know if I’ll ever touch it. The sports titles in ps plus I rarely ever touch. This would be fun if I didn’t have any other thing to play, but with all the awesome games I have in my life, this title isn’t one that will capture my attention in the long run.

Chivalry 2

Chivalry 2 is a multiplayer first person slasher inspired by epic medieval movie battles. Players are thrust into the action of every iconic moment of the era – from clashing swords, to storms of flaming arrows, to sprawling castle sieges and more.

This game is the one I would most likely try out of this month. However, this still isn’t exactly my cup of tea. I’d more play it just for the memes. This game is not about a story or exploring an area with purpose. It’s about killing each other and that’s it.

May is a month of ps plus where I’m likely to skip and not play any of the games listed. That happens a decent amount and it’s unfortunate. However I have hopes that the next month will be better.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! 

Join me in my live streams on Twitch! 

Check out my INSTAGRAM and TWITTER! 

If you’d like a quality candle check out THE SISTERS OF TWILIGHT CANDLE COMPANY WEBSITE

If you would like to support me directly here’s a link to BUY ME A KOFI! 

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!!

Doki Doki Literature Club: The Platinum Trophy

Wednesday was my day off and while the morning was chaotic and tiring, after I took a nap and rested, I decided I was going to get the platinum for Doki Doki that day. So I looked at the last trophy I had left for 100% data collection and I set to work.

After about 2 to 3 hours I had my platinum trophy.

I am so proud of completing this trophy. Doki Doki is such a beautifully written and choreographed game. From beginning to end it subverts your expectations and it makes you sit with the horror of what’s going on in front of you.

*SPOILERS FOR DOKI DOKI LITERATURE CLUB*

One of the most uncomfortable pieces of the final 100% data collection trophy is what you need to do to obtain the following photo:

In order to unlock this piece of data you must “In Act 2, make it through the weekend without pressing Skip.” Which essentially means in act 2 you must sit through Yuri stabbing herself in the gut and just lying there dead without skipping the 1 hr plus long scene.

You sit there with her like this for so long with unreadable text constantly on the screen. The overlay colors change and her eyes become more and more lifeless and dead. Normally you press skip and it’ll be over in about a minute. However, without skip this scene is incredibly long and you sit with yourself for a while thinking about how uncomfortable it is to acknowledge what she’s done and just how heavy this scene really is. Even when you go and leave it on auto and watch a movie on your phone or tablet or go make yourself something to eat in the back of your mind you know that she’s still on that screen dead and lifeless. To me it comments a lot on what we do when horrific situations happen and try to cope with their reality. Humans are capable of truly awful things and sometimes there truly is nothing to be done after most truly awful acts are done and over with. Death is hard to cope with for lots of people. It is the definitive end for all of us. In Doki Doki your forced to deal with it and to even have a sense of responsibility for why they kill themselves as well. It’s brutally awful.

This is the essence of a true horror game. Not tiptoeing around the darkest parts of life, but forcing you to face them head on and internally deal with the reality of the horror.

In contrast, something else this game does with its side stories is brilliant.

The side stories are a prequel to the events that take place in the main game. You unlock them as you write poems for certain characters and unlock various events in the game. You eventually read the side stories after you finish the main game and it gives context to the friendships and personalities of each of the characters. Each side story discusses mental health in a different and decidedly positive way. The girls care about each other and have tough conversations and ultimately life each other up. It makes the ending of Monika talking about how she didn’t have the heart to delete everyone for real because they truly were friends to her make sense. You don’t really get the sense of their true friendship in the main game. However, in the side stories you really see how much each cares about the other and how they all learned to be better friends. The very first story as well and the story between Yuri and Natsuki in particular made me teary. It shows the deep sadness the girls carry and the anxiety in their hearts and the lies of how they see each other as well as the lies of how they perceive how others see them.

It’s beautiful and it hurts so good. This horror game tackles obsession, depression, anxiety, and what it means to be aware of being in a reality where you have no control. It’s truly art. An expression of disturbed emotion unapologetically on the screen and I took in every moment of it.

The other truly notable trophy in this game is called “She will never be real”

At the end of the game where it’s just you and Monika she monologues a lot. Through sitting and reading a lot of what she has to say for 10 to 15 minutes you then get this trophy. However, what you also get is a weird understanding and like for Monika. She seems to care about a lot of things and she’s clearly struggling in a reality she would’ve never chosen for herself. I started to feel bad for her. One part she talks about for you to be there for your friends and loved ones because their real and just checking in on them could save them from falling deeper into any depression they may have. She also asks if you drank enough water that day. She also talks a lot about missing the club and her friends that she “deleted”. I didn’t fully blame Monika anymore even though what she did was truly fucked up. Sitting there and listening to her humanized her a lot and it was kinda cool to see. She became a relatable and misguided villain instead of just outright evil. Which is typically how villains show themselves in our day to day lives. It doesn’t excuse the behavior but it makes them human.

All in all I can’t ever fully express in words how much this game means to me. It’s near and dear to my heart and I can’t wait to collect all the nedoroids this game has. It brings so many serious topics to the forefront and shows people talking about them and engaging them in both healthy and extremely unhealthy ways. It’s so well balanced. I’ll never forget my experiences with Doki Doki Literature Club. It’s a wonderful one.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING!

Join me in my live streams on Twitch! 

Check out my INSTAGRAM and TWITTER! 

If you’d like a quality candle check out THE SISTERS OF TWILIGHT WEBSITE.

If you would like to support me directly here’s a link to BUY ME A KOFI! 

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!!

Committing Myself To One Thing At A Time

I have had a serious problem with being unable to finish the things that I start. It doesn’t matter if it’s a tv show or a game or a book series a lot of the time I leave thing undone. So, from now in each category I will only be focusing on one thing at a time until I have completed it.

For example: in gaming I love to platinum games. It gives me a huge feeling of accomplishment that I got to do everything in a game there was to do and that I have mastered it and appreciated it to its fullest. However, that doesn’t happen as often as when I first got my PlayStation. I haven’t gotten a platinum for anything all year long. So from now on I will put my full focus on one game at a time.

For now I will be focusing on Doki Doki Literature Club.

I have already finished this game once however I need a few more play throughs focusing on doing various tasks in order to get all the trophies that I need for the platinum. Doki Doki is such a hard hitting game that deals with themes of suicide, depression, and obsession. It is a beautifully made game and I can’t wait to 100% it. If you’ve never played it I highly recommend it especially to my fellow readers. I don’t think it’d disappoint any of you.

The Book I will focus on will be:

Capturing the Devil by Kerri Maniscalco

This is the final book of the “Stalking Jack the Ripper” series. Looking back I finished the 3rd book “Escaping from Houdini” on September 18th, 2018. That was a bit over 4 years ago. Yeah I’m a bit ashamed about this one. Not to mention I’ve had this book on my shelves for a good amount of that time too. I had started reading this book the other day for a short time. I had to keep pausing to text my partner about it because he’s literally my Thomas Cresswell. Abdiel is as thoughtful and as loving and unapologetically supportive of me as Thomas is to Audrey. He’s literally done the nose kiss Thomas does to Audrey in the first few chapters of this book and in a similar context and I had to stop myself from actually screaming cause of how overwhelmed I felt. I’ve been with Abdiel for over 3 years and he still makes me feel that way.

The one anime I will be focusing on:

Science Fell in Love so I Tried to Prove it

This is another thing that had me texting my partner constantly cause of the ways it reminded me of us. It’s so cute and so nerdy. The entire show is trying to find a mathematical proof for love. It reminded me of a time where Abdiel made a math equation about his love for me.

Essentially it means as he loves me over time his love is continually growing towards infinity. It’s been a long time and his explanation is much better then mine, but that’s the basic concept of it. I feel all mushy now.

Anyway, the show is light, fun, nerdy, and wholesome. I will be finishing it soon and then going back to watching and finishing Attack on Titan very soon.

One writing project:

Here is where I announce I have been working on and researching for a secret book project. What there is to know is that I’ve been seriously considering self-publishing this project. I am also considering writing it nanowrimo style when I feel it’s been sufficiently researched. This book has so much more planning then I’m used to putting into a book. However, I know that when it all comes together it’ll be the best book it could possibly be for all of it.

So now that everything has been decided all that is left to do is to commit and complete all these things. With everything that gets done a new thing will replace it. However, I will feel much more accomplished when I’ve given my all fully to each thing.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! Thank you all for reading this through and sitting through me being gushy about my partner. He is steady and I appreciate him everyday.

Join me in my live streams on Twitch! 

Check out my INSTAGRAM and TWITTER! 

If you’d like a quality candle check out THE SISTERS OF TWILIGHT WEBSITE.

If you would like to support me directly here’s a link to BUY ME A KOFI! 

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!!

Becoming StarsWolfe

One of my favorite things to do for many years to get myself feeling more positive has always been to watch people stream and play video games. For a long time it felt like a pipe dream. I was very aware of the things I didn’t have that would make streaming in the first place impossible. Things like a camera or a good computer I could edit on or even simply the time to stream at all.

However, after many life issues popping up I decided to myself to focus on what I do have. I have a ps5 and a tv I can play it on. I don’t need to have the rest of the supplies just yet to rig a character I can start vtubing as. To start, when I have the time in the mornings to play I can stream it. Over time it can build up on its own.

I have plenty of games I want to play and try to platinum. On my own I’ve been playing and working on getting the platinum for God of War Ragnorok on Give me God of War mode. Streaming the rest of that journey will be so much fun.

Currently I am 18% of the way to getting the platinum for it and there’s plenty more to go. My goal is that every morning for 2 hours or so I’ll be able to stream. Sometimes I’ll stream alone playing single player games and sometimes I’ll be playing with my best friend whatever game she’s excited about playing.

I know I have to take it day by day. However, everyday when I get up now I feel the excitement of doing something that feels so good. Doing something I always wanted to do. Something that had always been a comfort to me when I’d watch videos online. Starting to be able to do that for others and giving people something positive and fun to attach themselves to is a joy to me.

Come have fun with me and watch me stream!

https://twitch.tv/starswolfe

And here’s a link to my current streaming schedule: https://m.twitch.tv/starswolfe/schedule

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Check out my INSTAGRAM and TWITTER! 

If you’d like a quality candle check out THE SISTERS OF TWILIGHT WEBSITE.

If you would like to support me directly here’s a link to BUY ME A KOFI! 

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!!

Goals for July: 2022

After way too much time, I have returned to set my goals for July 2022. I remembered that I had the most success in my goals when I’d write them down here and remind myself of them every day. Consistent progress that would lead to me actually finishing the projects I would set out for myself.

For reading I am going to restart Beyond the Surface. This time it’ll only be up on my blog and the main focus would be for me to read a book every month featuring a character dealing with their mental health.

For July, I will be reading The Art of Starving by Sam J. Miller.

I have chosen this book for this month because I have been desiring to read it for so long and I no longer want to make any excuses for not reading it.

I will also be reviewing the books that I’ve read this year that I have put off reviewing. I’ve been so behind in my reading and reviews that I feel super bad for accumulating such a large back log. It’s time to slowly chip away at it and not accumulate any more books till I have a lot of what I already have read.

In writing, I really want to finish an actual book. I’ve also put that off time and time and time again. It needs to be done. I really don’t care about a specific word count daily this time around, but I need to put something towards my book till it gets done.

The other daily thing is I need to start to exercise and I also don’t care if it starts at 10 minutes a day, but I need to move my body. I need to lose some weight and I miss fitting into a lot of my old clothes. Most of all I want to do some awesome cosplays and I need to loose a bit of weight and get in shape for that. The added bonus of being and feeling healthier will be amazing too.

Starting July 6th, I have the next two classes in my pharmacy technician course. I’m starting to get into more specific pharmacy tech classes and I am excited. I need to organize my classes a bit better so that I balance it to where I get everything done.

Another super exciting thing is that I got myself a ps5 a few months ago. I also took very big advantages of the PlayStation sales that have gone on. I’ve purchased a ton of really awesome games and I’ve been loving many of them. However, I haven’t really been doing a lot of completing any of these games. So my goal for this month is to work towards completing Dark Souls.

So far I have played 25 hours of dark souls. I have made it 8% of the way through the achievements. I am currently trying to make my way through blight town. My goal this month is not to complete dark souls, but at the very least to make any amount of progress on it daily provided I’ve completed all my other tasks for the day.

Also Man of Medan is coming to PlayStation plus in July and I am absolutely going to get my boyfriends to play through the entire game with me. I haven’t played a game with him in a good while and I’m excited to experience something new with him.

Also the main thing I want to do is organize my time better. I want to have nights available for myself to relax watch Stranger Things (my sole tv show to complete goal for the month) or to play video games without worrying that I have all these other things to do and complete for the day.

I also will have a decent amount of days this month set aside for family and friends. These days are the days that are the most peaceful to me.

All in all, there’s a lot I want to do in July. I will make sure I keep the main things I want to complete done and as long as I do, this month will be a success. If I do achieve all my goals this month I’ll let myself buy the game Stray to play next month because I’ve been so excited since it was announced.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Check out my INSTAGRAM and TWITTER! 

Check out THE SISTERS OF TWILIGHT WEBSITE.

If you would like to support me directly here’s a link to BUY ME A KOFI! 

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources:

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

Febuary 2021: Wrap Up

Looking back February was a pretty good month and I watched some really great shows and movies even if I didn’t get to finish a book in February.

Movies watched

Penguin bloom

Cute movie that made my heart feel warm.

Host

A really great horror film solidly set in the time and feel of 2020.

Hush

Intense horror with a deaf main character that would have been made better by proper representation.

Tv shows watched

Season 2, 3, and 4 of futurama

The bulk of what I’ve been watching lately and it’s only gotten better and better!

Season 2 The Mandalorian

Best part of this show was the finale and of course the relationship between Mando and baby Yoda. I loved it!

Games played

Genshin impact 1.3 update

I did a whole post on this but 1.3 was great! I loved the events and I even landed a Xiao in the coolest way which I talked all about in my blog post about Genshin Impact.

Overloot

This game is so cute! I drop in and play every once in a while and it’s a fun connect the weapons kind of game.

The Arcana

This is a visual novel type game and I love the romance in it and the mini game that you do daily. I know I’ll be playing and reading along for a long time.

Game playthroughs watched

Captain sparkles vault hunters 

Little bit of Minecraft diaries 

Among us videos 

Little bit of clue videos 

Exercise done

Breath 30 days of Yoga- started and didn’t finish due to my wrist dying on me due to work. Have an appointment to get it checked out soon and it should be resolved soon enough.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter! 

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website! 

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter! 

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Let’s Talk About: Genshin Impact

Genshin Impact is the best mobile game I’ve ever played. The fact they made it free is amazing and I’m so happy about it. I’ve played almost from the very start of its release and I’ve loved every moment of exploration and every event and enjoying pulling for the characters I’ve wanted most.

Definitely my two favorite moments where this:

Pulling Ganyu on the first 10 pull on her banner!!! I remember when I first saw Ganyu was going to be a character and instantly I got so much excitement. She’s so beautiful and I kept telling my boyfriend how much I wanted her. Then, was so excited to show him that I got her and on the first 10 pull too! It was a great moment!

And this:

So this pull was somehow even more special because it was pulled during the picture event and I needed one last thing for to unlock the last trove and my boyfriend sent me the very last color I needed. Then those primogems were just enough to do one pull. That pull got me Xiao. I swear I was on such a high after this pull because it fell into place so perfectly and it’s like with that one little gift my boyfriend sent me he got me Xiao. Plus, the odds of that happening are astronomical, but it did and I felt so much joy and love and awe in that moment and for so long after. I’ll always treasure Xiao a bit extra just because of how he came to be on my team. 🙂

My two favorite events have been the most recent Theatre Mechanicus.

And the event that got me my little seelee buddy:

The tower defense was so awesome. Along with all the lantern rite tales that gave so many great primogems! Definitely the best event so far. I just really love that I have a little buddy following me everywhere so I’ll forever love that I got to do that seelie event.

Already I’ve made so many great memories because of this game. It’s so gorgeous and fun and so massive and I know it’ll continue to grow over time and I’m so excited to see what comes next! I know I’m excited to see Rosaria and Hu Tao to come to Genshin! I’ll definitely be pulling for both when they arrive. As it stands right now my most wanted characters are QiQi, Keqing, and Klee. I love all the girl character what can I say? I have my two most wanted of the male characters Razor and Xiao. I do admit I’ll love to get Dainsleif when he comes out too.

I’m just so excited about this game and all that’ll be added to it! I know it’ll all be amazing!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter! 

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website! 

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter! 

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

5 Favorite Games I’ve played

All my life one of my favorite pass-times has been to play games. I love them. However, my most fond memories of playing have come from the following five. They’ve all made my life more fun.

5. Pokémon Silver

I remember playing Pokémon for hours. I finished more then one version of a game more then once. I remember going through this whole game twice. I loved it. I’d come home from school and couldn’t wait to turn on my DS and play this game.

2. Town of Salem

I currently play this game all the time. I’ve played hundreds of games. It’s so good. I’ve enjoyed this game for hours. It’s so versatile and each game is unique. I love it.

3. Dragon Quest: Sentinels of the Starry Skies

I found this game again while explaining to someone amazing that I had played this game so stupidly because I kept fighting the same slime over and over in the same area for so long before I realized I could move on. I had forgotten the name of this game, but I was determined to find it after talking with him and I did. I loved this. It’s such a great game. I’d play it again if I could in a heartbeat.

Fortnite

This was a game I used to cringe at before I started playing it. It’s so much fun. Playing with my friends on it is so much fun. I play on my phone and I’ve somehow managed to get semi-decent with it and I’m so proud.

Minecraft

Though I never got to play it myself much till recently, I’ve loved Minecraft for a long time. I’ve watched so many Minecraft YouTubers. Yet, playing it now with friends has been a very special kind of fun.

What is one of your favorite games to play?

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter! 

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website! 

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter! 

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.