My 3rd Blogoversery!!!!

This is my 3rd blogoversery. Officially I’ve been blogging for over 3 years! It’s been an incredible journey and I can’t say how incredibly it has changed my life.

Blogging has been my anchor in what was the most difficult period of my life. It was my something to do to pull myself above water and to take responsibility for my own happiness and health.

Through blogging I had a place to discuss my moods and my depression and through that I started to see what triggered it and how to find a way out. It helped me sit one on one with my anxiety and how I couldn’t continue on the way I was before. I learned how to flip the script in my mind to appreciate what I had in front of me. To honor my wants and desires and to let go of everything not in my control.

What I blog about and how often I do so has changed much. I do the best I can when I can. But, if I don’t feel like it that day or didn’t have the time I let that be ok. So many of you have stuck with me for so long. Some of you I’ve talked to personally about some of the more difficult things that have happened. Doing so has helped me immensely and I am grateful to those of you who know who you are.

I can’t say enough how amazing it is to be in a better place now mentally, physically, and emotionally. That is to say I still have bad days, but they don’t dictate my life. I’m human. I’ve learned to hold onto the good and let go of all the rest. The amount of good that has come from that choice has been infinite and I know that an infinite of good is what’s out there for me.

To every single person who follows and reads my content, Thank you! If anything I’ve ever said has made you smile or think a little deeper or helped you in any way whatsoever I’ve done my job as a blogger. Thank you all for being there. You have truly changed my life!

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter!

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

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30 Days of Yoga

I joined the Fightmaster 30 day yoga challenge in order to increase my flexibility and strength for yoga and this is how it went:

August 31st, 2019

Day 1:

I started this late and on a whim, but I’m glad I did. This workout was more of a stretch, relax, and feel good in your body then anything physically straining. It showcased how yoga is about being mindful and present in the moment and I really enjoyed the act of feeling good just being in my own skin.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/zzonBs06mX8

September 1st, 2019

Day 2:

This yoga introduced downward dog which has always been one of the more difficult positions for me because of the strength it requires. But, it was introduced in a light way so it actually felt nice to ease into it. I love these videos because of how peaceful they are. It’s more about the peace of mind and relaxation then it is about the positions. Which is what I believe yoga is and that’s why I’m excited to continue on over the next 28 days!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/nU7MedKNpLs

September 2nd, 2019

Day 3:

Today’s workout was super peaceful. I got up early. Got it done and my body felt really good while doing it. My mind felt clear and that was the best part!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/hNBWF2xvdOs

September 3rd, 2019

Day 4:

I am starting to really get used to things. I like that this time happy baby was added, even though it always has been a weird pose for me. It just feels peaceful to participate in this and so I’ll be happy to see how the rest of the month goes! Got a late yoga session with this one.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/hbMrx_Al1pU

September 4th, 2019

Day 5:

Today plank was added and I shook a lot for the first time. Other then that downward dog seems to be getting slightly easier and I am finding that I simply love the peace of the practice. Yoga I had done before had almost no room for me as my body isn’t really all that flexible. Although, I know with more practice it can get there. Either way I’m actually liking doing a bit of yoga each day.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/hOiFFhNvHoA

September 5th, 2019

Day 6:

Today I really felt the stretch in my back. My spine was cracking and twisting and it needed this today. Hopefully by the end of the month my forward bend flexibility increases. I’ve always desired flexibility and I think it’s time I dedicate myself more to it so I can thank myself later.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/BzmxPvv1c7I

September 6th, 2019

Day 7:

A week down! This time I did a nice morning workout and did an ab workout afterwards. This video was a little more strength based and doing the plank pose makes my body shake a bit, but developing strength and flexibility is important so It’s all good. Also, it’s my first week completed which is something to celebrate!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/ZSI3VUn6tI4

September 7th, 2019

Day 8:

Today was the start of the 20 minute long sessions and it didn’t really feel any longer. I was in downward dog and plank a lot more, but I feel like I’m building up more arm strength. This was an afternoon session and I find that my back is feeling really good and stretched out afterwards and I feel very relaxed. I’ve very much enjoyed the practice so far!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/yYnIl4z6cpw

September 8th, 2019

Day 9:

Today my hormones were pretty imbalanced and I didn’t feel like doing anything. However, finally at night I decided to do my yoga practice and it’s the peace it gives my mind that makes me happy to practice everyday. Honestly, my monthlies tend to depress me and a lot of the time I give in because I get in pain and I’m tired, but the yoga reminds me I can push through.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/uKBzhC91zU0

September 9th, 2019

Day 10:

A morning session today! I loved the stretch in my back I got today. My body needed this yoga session. All the moves are becoming more fluid and easier and plank isn’t making me shake as bad anymore. I love that this is building strength as well as flexibility. But, most of all this is helping me with patience and peace of mind. When you can have peace in your mind I think you can handle and do anything!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/gpVoqFi3vC8

September 10th, 2019

Day 11: Late session! I went to see It: Chapter 2 today so I couldn’t do yoga this morning. I noticed that I could stretch a bit deeper into one of the stretches today. Slowly, I’m getting better and that fills me with pride!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/OlzpyEjgDs4

September 11, 2019

Day 12:

I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to practice today. I got off work crazy tired, but I’m glad I was able to make some time to do it anyway. It always feels really good.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/bP75NKKCOFo

September 12, 2019

Day 13:

Today was a bit more difficult. There was more downward dog to plank to cobra positions. As well as new positions that increased a bit of the intensity. However, I found I could get through it not too badly so I’m pretty proud of myself!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/cb0hOHn1UhM

September 13th, 2019

Day 14:

I was glad that today was for 15 minutes. My mind has been all over the place and this practice is very grounding for me. It helps me feel peace. Even as it has gotten increasingly more difficult. Though I find I ease into it well enough. I’m happy to have committed to this these past two weeks.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/PAOxy—1qU

September 14th, 2019

Day 15: there was this new stretch today that I’ve never done before that felt incredible. I also noticed I had a slight increase in my flexibility. As well as downward dog and plank becoming ever more easier and comfortable to me. My back always feels great after a practice and I feel that it’s helping my back to be a little more aligned. Also today I was noticeably able to deepen my forward fold.. which is probably my weakest flexibility point. I’m super proud of that because it means that as I continue my practice I will also continue to get better!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/8PsbNxI0gWk

September 15th, 2019

Day 16:

Today, I know I was on the precipice of not doing my practice. However, I’ve been so good at doing it so I’m glad I put my foot down and did it anyway. Today she added reverse table and it made my arms burn a bit, but for the most part it felt like a good burn. I’m getting very used to the regular poses and am now pretty comfortable with the majority of the practice.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/eUPShtvPhnU

September 16th, 2019

Day 17: Today was very short. A nice reprieve after several heavy work days for me so this was very much welcome! I’m excited to continue the practice. I think I’m falling in love with yoga.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/GFK4R4DUaYs

September 17th, 2019

Day 18: Today was the first time I found myself break a sweat. The new pose today was pretty intense and I couldn’t fully straighten my leg, but I did my best! But, all in all, it was a lovely practice as always.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/0l548HXWfDM

September 18th, 2019

Day 19: I did a morning practice and there was a new pose added that felt pretty interesting. I liked that it was focused on hip opening and stretching muscles that usually don’t get stretched.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/6OyCLWZTq04

September 19th, 2019

Day 20:

Today was all about twists! My back feels so wonderful right now. I’m hoping that since I can’t go to a chiropractor anytime soon that the yoga helps with my back alignment. Another peaceful practice today!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/ZnW0NDDDQrE

September 20th, 2019

Day 21:

Today’s practice was a meditation and I’ve been pretty tired today so I’m glad it was something gentle. It’s the end of the 3rd week and I’m proud to have kept this up! I don’t always stick to stuff like this, but I’m glad to have stuck this one through!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/9FKJZPR-X9I

September 21st, 2019

Day 22:

A 30 min practice today! I almost forgot to do it, but I’m glad I remembered and did it before it got too late. Today the practice simply felt good. My back popped a lot, but that is normal. As always, a peaceful practice.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/yQhmH6S0eb4

September 22nd, 2019

Day 23:

Today’s workout was really exciting for me! I noticed significant improvement in all the poses. Especially my forward fold which I could only bend with my back straight to wear I could touch my knees and now I am a little bit above my ankles. I’m so proud of myself! Improving my flexibility has been a major goal of mine for the majority of my life that I never committed to. Now doing this practice everyday and it’s only been 3 weeks and I’ve seen such major improvement! It just goes to show you can do anything you set your mind to. Also, I’m arm strength has also improved! I’m doing better in every aspect!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/jpmV72rgNto

September 23rd, 2019

Day 24:

Today was not as breezy as normal. My arms were tired from work and then doing this was tougher than usual. I’m hoping that tomorrow my arms feel a bit better. I think it’s just that today has been a strange one all around and I’ve been tired all day. Hopefully, after some rest tonight I can feel a bit better tomorrow.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/fB-wNCqlyEY

September 24th, 2019

Day 25:

I got my flu shot today. So during this practice my arm was a bit sore. She did some fast vinyasas and I was not exactly happy with it. But, my back always feels so good after a practice it’s always worth it. She introduced pigeon pose today. It was a bit intense, but not too bad. All in all a great practice!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/ON8TAGuUgTY

September 25th, 2019

Day 26:

The start of today’s practice I was a little out of whack. But, as the practice continued I entered the flow of it again. Some of the poses today were preparing for headstand so I’m excited! Especially because I was doing those poses well and that meant I might be ready to try next time!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/Zq3qlpByTZw

September 26th, 2019

Day 27:

Today was a stretch day. Something I was grateful for. Somehow though, this was a little more painful to me. I think it’s mostly because it is my weakest part. But I know with practice my flexibility will increase.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/mfvbDUtWiJA

September 27th, 2019

Day 28: I am so proud of myself today. I had a sucky day today. Honestly, it was probably the suckiest day I’ve had in awhile, but I calmed myself, I looked at why I was feeling the way I was and I turned it around. Doing this yoga today was so wonderful! I successfully did crow pose. Which is basically holding your whole body weight up with your hands. Plus, I realized I love fightmaster so much because she really talks about how everything is progressing at the level you are ready for and that the pose isn’t what’s important. It gives me a feeling of pride to know I really am doing my best at the level I’m at, in yoga and in life!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/7LKPgLB5iHI

September 28th, 2019

Day 29:

Today I noticed I could go even deeper into my forward fold. I didn’t understand one of the moves, but I tried it again afterwards and realized that I was putting my hands in the opposite direction and finally got it. Also inversión prep today! It was nice to walk myself up the wall and feel like I’d eventually be able to do a full handstand!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/xRif9lkEumc

September 29th, 2019

Day 30: I Learned today that I may not be completely ready for a headstand. But, what is most important is that I dedicated myself for 30 days and I made it! I also made some incredible progress! Eventually I will make it to the headstand, but the majority of this practice was about mentally dedicating oneself and progressing at your own pace. I’m so glad I decided to do this! It’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’m so grateful to fightmaster for creating these videos. She is so peaceful and kind! I can’t wait to further my yoga practice and continue progressing to see how my body adapts and continues to do amazing things!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/V-9A6fH9TxA

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter!

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

Real Talk

I know I do this a lot. But, for me it’s the easiest way to process a lot of the stuff that’s going through my mind. As well as sharing my process into becoming the best version of myself I can be, because I think that’s helpful. To hear about healing and growth from someone who is still figuring stuff out.

Also, to know that you shouldn’t have to figure everything out at once. I feel like we all put so much pressure on ourselves to be one way or another, but it’s all not necessary. If we all just do the best we can at a moment. Even if our best is simply showing ourselves a little self-care then that’s golden!

Im my life I’m proud that I’ve gotten to a place where I’m more often happy then not. Honestly, a majority of my life wasn’t like that and it wasn’t my fault. I’ve realized a lot of things that I thought were terrible parts of me aren’t actually so terrible.. just human. This isn’t to say I don’t make myself accountable for mistakes I made, but I no longer define who I am by my mistakes. I course correct. I remind myself to do my best in every situation and to be kind and I move forward.

But, more recently I’ve added be happy to that too. To follow anything that adds to my happiness. And the weird thing is I’ve realized that people actually prefer me happy. That might be a weird thing, but in my mind I didn’t really think people much cared or noticed if I was happy or not, but they do. It’s also interesting that the happier I am the more blessings that follow. The other day I found a 5 dollar bill on the floor and no one else seemed to see it. My coworkers often offer to share food with me (which is a thing in itself.. I swear people always offer me food). A random customer gave me one of the perfume samples she got after I complimented her perfume. I’ve also had more coffee in the past few weeks then I’ve had in my whole life.

It’s like being happy=more things to be happy about. I’m not complaining. It’s opened a whole new world before me. The past few days I’ve sorta been not focusing on it as much as I should only because I’ve been working so much. But, talking here is helping me to refocus and think about how things are working out in a beautiful way even if I can’t see how in various situations yet. Sometimes there are blessings that come from the shadows and your perceptive shifts in an instant and everything changes.

Anyway, I’m headed to sleep, but this was a nice little thought bubble post. Your input is much appreciated.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter!

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

Yesterday’s Wordcount: 0

Perfection

Perfection is an ideology

Wrapped in a tight rope around our minds

We strive and strive to the standards that will always be moved one block above our heads unreachable

Let me say that again unreachable

Because the hands create the blocks and pile them up higher and higher

The video game buzzes “Ok”, “meh”, “perfect”

We climb and climb this ever growing mountain

And dig ourselves a hole of depression and anxiety piled up in our insecurity and worthlessness

We think perfection is the answer to love and all that’s holy, but the truth is we will never get there and acceptance

Well that’s the clarity

When you start to heal the expectation of being anything other then who you are

in every moment of bitterness

you cut the bindings

Suddenly your body is a masterpiece

Suddenly your happiness is within reach

Suddenly your not chasing your creating

Suddenly your not afraid of the societal definition of who you should be

Perfection is spoon fed into the mouths of all our children

Perfection is yelled into 4th grade track teams and football wannabes

Perfection is sewn into the fabric of our literal clothing

But, wouldn’t you be surprised to hear the places that make a profit from the defects

You see nothing you do is worthless

Especially not because that something was a mishap

We all make mistakes, thousands every day

So let’s stop kidding ourselves

Let’s give who we are some kindness

It’s ok. You are ok.

Let’s clean out all the madness

Peace is found in letting go of who we think we need to be

All the thoughts that cause you suffering don’t need to suffocate the joyful laughter that lives inside your ever passionate heart

Dust away those thoughts so you can create a reality of celebrating true humanity

Perfection doesn’t exist and it never did

So stop hurting

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! I wrote this poem on a whim like a majority of my poetry. It’s an idea I’ve been thinking about a lot. I hope you enjoyed!

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Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

An Observation of Happiness

I have gone through a lot of personal transformation in my life recently. Technically this is something that is lifelong, but I have felt one of the first noticeable shifts in myself in the past 3 months.

The most important thing that has caused this shift in myself is my continuous decision to be happy no matter what is going on in my life. When I made this decision I immediately looked to find self care and self love practices to add to my daily routine. I knew it wouldn’t be an instant thing and it wasn’t. It took me some time to choose happiness and to let go of thoughts that didn’t add to my happiness.

It was a huge choice that lead to me realizing how deeply I truly value myself and I noticed how over time all negative situations and people began to leave my life and I’ve experienced more and more happy situations and positive interactions with others as well. But, most importantly, I noticed I was genuinely and peacefully happy and it wasn’t attached to anything outside of myself.

I feel like I could handle any situation in a peaceful way now that I’ve started the creation of this unbreakable peace within myself. This doesn’t mean I don’t get sad or angry or feel negative emotions, but more that when I feel those things I notice it and I ask myself why I feel that way and gently guide myself into looking at the situation from a higher perspective. This is especially noticeable for me when I think about the future. When I notice that I want to paint all the obstacles of what could be and I start to feel bad about what might be, I can easily get lost in those thoughts. However, I notice it now and I can flip the script and turn that negative thought pattern into a more positive one.

It’s to where I feel like I’m exactly where I am supposed to be in my life and that I can be at peace even if things aren’t exactly the way I’d want them to be. I’ve learned to deeply and truly appreciate every morsel of good in my life. Even the most mundane of things. Like being grateful that I have a chair to sit in or for the shampoo I use to wash my hair or for the face wash that keeps my face clean. Every single part of my reality that aides me becomes something extraordinary and wonderful. Something worth appreciating.

Especially my own body. I’ve noticed that I really truly have come to love and appreciate my body. Even my nose (a part that I’d disliked heavily for years and years) is now something I love about myself. I feel good in my own skin. I love the muscles that are forming in my arms from work. I love how I look in clothing I try on at the store. I love that I don’t care if what looks good on me is an xtra large or a medium. I used to cry sometimes when I saw something I thought was cute didn’t look good on me in the store. Forming a healthy and loving relationship with my body is one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever given to myself. I fully appreciate what makes me unique.

I no longer talk about mental health in quite the way I used to. I don’t because I know that for my own mental health I need to discuss this topic in a positive way or not at all. I no longer tolerate in myself the feeling of self-pity. I don’t meant that in a harsh way, but in a way of being a good friend to myself and treating myself the way I would treat one of my friends if they were feeling down by lifting them up.

It feels good to wake up and feel happy for every single small joy in my life. To be happy just to be alive.

Thank you all for reading! Thank you all for being a part of my journey. You are all incredible people. I hope you all have a blessed day and a wonderful week ahead.

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website!

-Till next time!

Thoughts on Life

It’s 1 am, I played Town of Salem for the first time and loved every second of playing. I am tired, but I am happy. I don’t know what it is about me going on and doing normal stuff that gets me to think so existentially, but I guess that’s just how my brain works.

The saying that life is what you make of it is incredibly true. Whatever you want life to be about you can make it that way. If you want to work really hard and follow a dream you really love you can. If you feel like binging a tv show and relaxing all day you can. No matter what the situation is you have a choice.

I’ve learned that for me, so long as I choose myself and choose my happiness I can’t go wrong. People in the world might care about me, but at the end of the day I have to be my own best friend, therapist, motivational coach, teacher, and on and on. I have to be the one that values myself. Otherwise, how can expect everyone else to value me.

I can choose to let the world cave in (and sometimes it feels like it wants to) or I can push back and choose to do the best I can wherever I’m at in life no matter how low or high that point may be. As I choose myself I also have to value others choosing themselves and understand that they like I am are doing the best they can at the place they are at in life.

It’s a great lesson of radical compassion, for myself and for others. When I make myself accountable in every moment and really see why I have done what I have I can work to be the me I want to be. Now, I realize that I am the me that I want to be.

Putting all passions and hopes for the future aside, who I am now is exactly who I want to be. I care deeply about my family, my friends, animals, anyone I’ve ever loved, even if a stranger is having a rough day. I may have felt with depression and putting myself down, but it’s not something I do anymore.. I lift myself up in every moment. I am an open book. As honest as I ever wanted to be. I am who I am to every person I meet. I am working towards my goals, yet I’m not overextending myself. I am no longer afraid of the future. I am wholly myself.

I let go of some old feelings I didn’t want to admit to myself today and it put me in a yucky mood, yet right after instead of wallowing I decided to watch some videos that lead me to downloading and playing a game that I really enjoy.

Yeah, I’m very critical when I think. Critical of myself and it can lead me astray sometimes, but I’m starting to see the parts of myself I didn’t like before as assets. Even the simple stuff like liking my nose now when I used to really dislike it.

I guess I’m writing this to say this: if you want you can choose the person who you wish to be right now and with small steps you’ll see you can smile in the mirror for tomorrow. That life only has the meaning that you give it. So live the best life that you possibly can with the definition you feel is best for you.

As one lovely human said to me once, “I’m living my best life not my depressed life.” And that’s what I’m choosing to do every single day.

Thank you all for reading! Much love to all of you!

Check out the Wolfe Creek candles website!

-Till next time!

Feeling Proud

I haven’t felt this way in a very long time towards myself. But, I feel proud. I’ve been posting daily and I have a better way of going about it so that I still get a lot of time to be in my own head and do things I’m happy to do.

I have goals that I’m working on getting to accomplish. I have a much more peaceful time at work and I enjoy my coworkers. I feel at peace with my situation and am dedicated to my own happiness. When this goes up I will be at six flags with my family after not having gone for a few years and I know I’m going to really enjoy being there.

I also make sure to put myself first more often. To let others help me when they offer to. To truly be present in the moments I have. I’m proud. Proud because there was a time not so long ago that I didn’t go very long without crying. Proud because I give myself the proper space and time when I do want to cry. Proud because I am valuing myself and valuing how I feel. Proud because I’m honoring my feelings while maintaining that the next moment will be a brighter one.

I feel I can say now that I am happy. That I’ve grown emotionally and mentally in ways I never expected. I’m proud because I’m expecting a brighter future. I’m expecting good in my life and a whole lot of good has already come. I have people in my life that I care about. Not just my family, but friends too old and new. People who genuinely care about me as well.

I have people I’ve met on here that I love speaking with whenever I get the chance, people who have been of great support to me and who have raised me up.

I normally don’t mention religion in my posts, but I feel closer to God as well. I feel his guidance when I need it and with each step forward I feel his encouragement and I am grateful for it.

I feel good. Really really good. I feel like that’s something worth talking about and celebrating.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below. You are all amazing and beautiful people. Thank you for being a part of my blogging journey! Without all of you, I’d be in a much different place in life.

-Till next time!

Life is Beautiful

I’ve talked about my life a lot on the blog. I’ve talked about some of my deepest struggles and some of the lessons I’ve learned. I’ve talked about my relationship with mental illness and my bouts of depression and anxiety as well as feelings of things just going horribly and unchangeably wrong at various points of my life.

It took me many a break from blogging and from productivity in general to pull myself free from negative thinking and negative cycles. Because no after how many things go wrong in life its how you deal with it that matters and for a while I couldn’t see past my own pain and grief to see all the good that life has to offer.

Life is all about perspective. Sometimes there is value in letting yourself feel hurt, but becoming the hurt and the guilt doesn’t serve you or anyone else. One of the things I’ve worked deeply on in myself is not feeling like a victim. Letting go of the idea that anyone else’s actions have anything to do with me and accepting my situation for what it is so that i can make the best of it.

One thing I despise is pity or being in a state where everything feels like it sucks. I was once in a point of my life where that’s all I could see. The awful line up of events in my life that came up one after the other, but I’ve given up my power to them for way too long.

Life is beautiful. I am not defined by the things that caused me pain. Especially not the pain that was self-inflicted by my own mind. Which, truly was the biggest part of it. I am not someone who will ever choose to stay stuck. I might need to simmer in my sadness for a while, but I always come out of it. Without exception.

I am making my happiness my main priority. My marvel posts and posts like this one are a big part of that. I take care of myself with so much more care then I once did and I value myself so much more as well. For once in a very long time I feel whole.

You can choose to dance with the darkness in yourself or become one with it. I choose to dance with it. To understand it and to remind it of all the light the world has to offer. This world is so beautiful. Full of creatures that live their lives to the fullest. Full of nature and music. Full of reasons to laugh and be joyful. Full of reasons to dance.

That is what I am choosing to focus on. Enjoying friendships. Enjoying the ability to try new things. Enjoying a new found sense of peace. I get to create the story of what is to be my life and I want to make it a good one, not only that, but a happy one and that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to make it so i go out of this life with a smile. Because life truly is beautiful and there is so much to be grateful for.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

-Till next time!

Ten Things That Bring Me Joy

I’ve been feeling a little down recently. Going to the hospital the last time while it was long, but not the worst experience, brought down my energy quite a bit. Sometimes, when things get me down I need a little break to rebalance myself and think about things (which sometimes gets me to be a little more on the sadder side, but I digress).

Anyway, I really don’t want to continue in that feeling for very long. So, I’m going to talk about some things that bring me a great amount of joy instead.

The following is in no particular order:

1. Seeing/touching/being with Animals!

I adore watching animal videos. I love seeing animals. I don’t really care what kind. I’ll talk to a lizard or a turtle in the same way I might talk to a puppy. I just appreciate and love any and all animals. No matter how derpy. No matter how spooky. No matter how gross (I’m looking at you blob fish). If it’s a critter and it’s in my presence I’m filled with so much love and joy just to be around them. That’s just who I am.

2. Eating Ice Cream

I’m a simple human. I love me some cold and delicious sugar cream. I love to try out different flavors and combinations. I love adding toppings to it. I just love ice cream.

3. Reading a good Book

The girl who has a book blog cannot have this list be completed without mentioning the thing she never shuts up about. I love books. I’ll never stop loving books. I’m so happy that I’m reading again, let me tell you, I was so not ok with the fact that I couldn’t read for a while. I’ve been heading out to buy books recently. I’m almost finished with an arc I’m going to review. I’m just so happy to be reading again.

4. BBQ Sauce

This is where I probably deviate from many of you, but I love this sauce. I had it once as a kid and since then every time I have it, it makes me feel like a kid again. Honestly, this sauce is my drug of choice and I know it’s probably not good for me, but I could put it on almost anything. It’s my addiction.

5. Good Music

I have a deep love for music. Growing up I didn’t really feel that way. I would only get to hear the radio stations my family enjoyed and it was all older songs for the most part. Then in elementary and middle school I found I had a love for Hannah Montana that since died, but also during that time I first heard songs from David Guetta and since then I’ve had an intense love of EDM music. But my tastes are pretty widespread and I’m not afraid to branch out at all. The only genre I didn’t like at all growing up was country (and some rap), but I’ve been trying to give it a chance recently (it’s a minimal chance, but still a chance). Either way, I love listening to it and it will always be a deep part of my life.

6. Dancing

I love to dance and it’s probably why edm is the bulk of what I listen to. I’m not really a good dancer. I remember being in a dance recital in kindergarten and loving it, but I haven’t had any other sort of formal training at all since.. so basically it’s at zero. But, I move based off of how the music makes me feel and the joy of it is all that matters to me. It’s so freeing and there really isn’t anything like it.

7. Going on Roller Coasters

I am a little bit of an adrenaline junkie. I will go on pretty much any roller coaster at this time and I have no fear of heights so a lot of the time it’s just a super joyful experience for me. The wind in my face looking down at beautiful scenery. It makes you feel so alive. That’s what I love about it.

8. Watching people create art

I’ve always loved art, but most of all I love to see how it comes together. I love seeing the decisions being made right in front of me. The creation of something from nothing, but the person’s imagination. Artists are Incredible. I’m fascinated by them. Especially when I’m so bad at creating art myself.

9. Sitting/being outside

I really love being in nature. Especially at a park and seeing all the birds, animals, and bugs just living their lives. Especially if I find a rolley Polly in the grass. I love picking up rolley pollies. I don’t care how childish that is, I love the little grey bugs.

10. The Stupidest YouTube videos I can find

Sometimes I try to hide how dumb my sense of humor is and how low a bar it has, but it exists and it brings me joy and that’s all that matters.

Thank you all for reading! This post was a joy to write. I’d love to hear some things that being you all happiness in the comments below!

-Till next time!

Write the Story: One of the Best Purchases I’ve ever Made

I’ve been in and out of the works with my blog and pretty much everything else for the past several months and really I’m no longer upset with myself about it, because my reason for it has been pretty solid and I’ve gotten to a immensely better and more positive mental space because of it. So really, I’m pretty proud of myself. For once I let myself rest and truly rest. For once I listened to my body when it said enough. I listened to my mind when it needed to heal from feeling sad about the circumstances of life that befell me. I got to a place where I could take care of myself and let myself binge movies I wanted to binge and let go of reading sad stories for a long time because I couldn’t handle it.

But, this also meant I wasn’t writing. When I’m upset I do mostly end up writing, but it becomes dark and spun in a way where you can read back and literally see what a negative thought spiral looks like in my head. Spoiler alert it isn’t pretty. Most of the time they stem from having an argument with a family member or someone else I love. Or even me being sad about a problem in someone else’s life. Or feeling in general like I’m not doing enough. Sometimes, writing dark can bring out more darkness in me and I will feel more pain and more sadness then I need to. So, I stopped writing.

However, that didn’t make the passion for words in me die. It didn’t mean I was going to stop reading and writing forever. Honestly, I can’t think of a worse reality for myself. But, getting back to my passion I needed a way to take baby steps and I found the solution without even looking for it or realizing truly what one of my problems was in the first place. This wonderful book I found with no price tag on it at Barnes & Noble called: Write the Story.

This book was heaven sent. It has the quickest little prompts and words you should use in each story with just 1 page to write each with. It is a challenge and a blessing all in one.

Right away I decided to write my first little story in it and I plan on continuing on and writing in this unique booklet each day.

Here is my first story in my not so pretty handwriting:

I hope that this was readable for all of you. Also, please excuse any spelling/grammar mistakes I tend not to be the best speller.

I am writing this at 1 am and that’s just how excited I am to have something fun to put my energy into again. Plus, having a gateway back to reading and writing and the possibility of getting to a place where I’m generally happy and excited about being alive again is a wonderful thing.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

If you guys are interested, I could make a post once a week of all my little stories I write in this book. There’s a ton of pages and it could take me years to get through, but I think it’d be a fun addition to my blog.

As always,

-Till next time!