I Welcome 2020!

I am so excited for the new year! I can’t really describe it. I’m so joyful in where I’m at that I’m just happy and excited knowing that the best that the world has to offer will come in the new year. I felt that way at work yesterday. I was suddenly this blissful happy person and I was excited. It felt like I’d taken a pill or something, but I hadn’t. I just felt really good.

I know 2020 is going to be an incredible year, because I feel so good right now. That and that it will be my dominate wish for the new year and every year after to find and experience as much joy as possible in each and every moment.

There is no real goal that I have set for 2020. I don’t really care for resolutions. Especially because they always seem to drop off pretty quickly. Plus, what you want for yourself is continually changing as you grow and change. So I don’t like to have a set thing that must happen in the new year.

However, I do want to set some sort of arbitrary goal each month. To learn something new or to do something fun that I hadn’t yet tried. Also, to write. To set some obtainable writing goals and to have fun writing.

With writing sometimes I feel I get weird about it, because I expect too much of myself when it comes to writing. Yet, when I take some time to sit down and write the words flow. It’s always there and easy to tap into. It’s breaking through that initial wall that I’ve got to work on. So I’ll probably make some sort of goal around that.

Either way, I’ll be making a January goals post tomorrow that will be a little more detailed as far as what I want to do in that month. I’m just so excited! So excited to live life. To follow my joy. Ever since I first decided to do so it’s gotten easier and easier and it feels incredible!

I wish everyone the best possible year ahead you can have. I wish you all the greatest happiness you can muster in the new year. I wish everyone to feel as good as possible in the new year.

In this moment I feel such joy, love, and warmth in my heart. I’m so excited to dance, play, and have fun in the new year. It’s going to be the best yet!

Welcome to 2020! Cheers to a year to remember! A year of transformation. A year where we live the life we’ve always wanted to live!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

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My Thoughts on 2019

Words cannot express how happy I am with where I am in life right now. 2019 started off absolutely terribly. I was not in a good mental health state. I hope was hurting deeply and all I wanted was happiness for myself and everyone involved in the situation that occurred then.

However, because that occurred and because I got so upset with the fact that all I wanted was to feel joy and that I wanted to feel that alongside the people that I love and that I wasn’t living that at the time it allowed me to choose differently for myself. It allowed me to see myself for who I really am. Someone who loves so incredibly deeply and with every inch of her soul. Something that meant that I knew what it was to love unconditionally and that I needed to turn that love inward so that I could live that in my everyday life.

This year was defined by that decision. It took so many inward conversations. So much patience for myself. So much self-soothing and self-care. Then, day after day one improvement became several and it grew and grew to where I no longer felt depression or anxiety period. I gently soothed my depression and anxiety out of existence.

Needless to say I am so proud of myself. So proud of this reality I am now living. One where I have made my joy and my relationship with myself to be the number one most important thing in my life. That by doing so I have created in myself a joyous person all the time. So much so that it is noticeable by those around me.

Doing this allows me to be the wholeness that I am with all who I am with. It lets everyone off the hook of having to be a certain way or do a certain thing in order for me to be happy. I just am. It is the gift I will give to every friend I have. Every coworker and every family member. It will be the gift I give to my significant other in the future. The gift of me taking responsibility for creating my own joy and following it and not making anyone be my excuse to not be happy.

One of my deepest wishes for all human beings is for everyone to experience the fullness of joy that they possibly can for themselves. It is why I have started walking this path of my own joy. Because it would be the greatest gift I could give to myself and everyone in my life would benefit from it.

It is something that is never done, because there is always more and more fun to be had and more and more fun ready to be realized, but to have realized this by the end of the year and to have changed so deeply from it is incredible to me.

I can’t say how much I’ve experienced more fun and more good things just from appreciating every moment of fun and everything that brings me joy in the moment they are there. 2019 has been the set up for what I know will be the best year of my life in 2020. I have no idea what it will look like or what will be in store, but I know that my life is going to continue to change and I can’t wait to embrace it!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

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Books of Christmas Past

Last year, I did not receive any books for Christmas. Typically this boat talks about just that, but last year was a tough Christmas for me, but all that happened then has turned into a blessing for me.

See I was in no position to even really feel enjoyment with books or much of anything in general. The contrast to how I feel now in this moment is incredible. I have changed so much this year and I achieved the ultimate goal that I’ve had for the entirety of my life. Which is to no longer have depression or anxiety way on me. Especially the last three months, I’ve felt free of any sort of Depression or Anxiety.

I’m at a point where I’m happy all the time. I find enjoyment everywhere and life is wonderful all the time for me. After my birthday, I set out to write the best things that happened each day and I was so surprised and delighted to find these past 8 days have been absolutely incredible! I look back on this week and I think that I’d want to fill my life with as many wonderful and unique moments every single day into the future. It’s been incredible.

Mainly, what has changed is my beliefs about life. Which sounds bigger then it really is. I’ve just discovered that I can and should be responsible for my own happiness and that I’m good at it. I’m good at keeping myself happy. I’m good at finding things to think about that bring me joy. I’m good at allowing myself the things that create greater joy in my life. It’s an incredible thing.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas Eve! Merry Christmas everyone!

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Thanksgiving Gratitude Post

This year Thanksgiving feels different to me. I used to not care for it so much because I wasn’t always where I wanted to be for the holiday and it would always be awkward and with food I never cared for. This year. This year I realize I am where I want to be.

I’m at a time in my life where I’m excited. Excited about the future. Excited about all the amazing things that have seem to start pouring into my life lately. I’ve been feeling good far more often and my perception on life has changed immensely.

Also, the food this year was great! I enjoyed all of it and that’s the first time I’ve ever felt that. I find that a lot of traditional thanksgiving food is just not for me.

On another note, I feel deeply that I’m on the precipice of something big in my life changing. Something beautiful and happy. It’s been so strong in my mind for the past couple of months and with each passing day I feel it stronger still.

Maybe it’s not even one thing in my life that I feel is on the edge of changing. I once again feel so deeply myself more and more and I’m following my joy. This has lead me to writing again. It’s lead me to trying out makeup for the fun of it. It’s lead me to taking better care of my body and feeling good about what I wear and my body in general. It’s lead me to rest free on days I feel compelled to without judgement. I feel free and knowing that I did that for myself is so mind blowing and wonderful to me.

I know what it’s like to go through a deep depression. I know what thought spiraling yourself into a hole feels like. To have loved myself enough to free myself of that and feel fucking amazing every day is incredible. I’m so proud of the woman I have become. Someone who honors herself. Someone who cares about herself enough to let go of thoughts that bring her sadness and to start focusing on all the good that life has to offer. I did that. I’m not in the trenches fighting a war with my own mind anymore. I’m happy. If that’s not something to be grateful for then I don’t know what is.

Then, there’s the basic things I’m grateful for. Great music to dance to. That video of any animal on my feed. A great book to read. Seeing people happy and laughing with one another. Seeing random acts of kindness. Doing something that brings someone else a moment of joy. Having a place to sleep, eat, and shower at. Having a job. The coffee I’m drinking now at 12:24 am even though it is probably way too late for coffee. Having a tooth brush and toilet paper. Having the phone I’m typing on right now.

I’m in a place in my life of extreme gratitude. 2019 for me has been a year of learning and becoming the kind of woman I always wanted to be. It’s been a year of overcoming and going from barely just existing for a while to truly thriving. But most of all from living in fear to taking that fear and blowing it up in flames and replacing it all with things to be joyous about. Going from worrying about if I even deserve happiness to knowing I deserve the best of all that is. So much so that I am fully responsible for my own joy and happiness regardless of what is happening in my life.

I have transformed this year. If nothing else that’s the best gift I’ve ever given to myself.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! What are you grateful for?

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Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter! 

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30 Days of Gratitude

These past 30 days I chose to do a gratitude challenge to remind myself of all the incredible things in life there is to be grateful for.

30 days of gratitude challenge: https://pin.it/juwrhlffx7knol

September 18th, 2019

Day 1: What are you most grateful for today?

Today, I’m most grateful for how far I’ve come. My mind is clear. My heart is clear. I am satisfied with who I am. I’ve made full peace with past mistakes. I’ve made peace with all of my past. I’m focusing on a better future. I’m always doing things that I love to do and I’m practicing being happy and fully myself all of the time. I’m keeping my commitments and I’m the strongest mentally and physically that I’ve ever been. So, I guess I’m most grateful for myself. Because I never gave up on myself and I stayed as positive as possible even when it was only to say that it’s ok to feel bad at a point and that I wasn’t always going to feel that way. So I’m proud of myself.

September 19th, 2019

Day 2: What Technology are you most grateful for?

My phone is probably the most important piece of technology that I’m grateful for. Because it’s what I use most for everything. Music, Reading, writing, gaming, video watching, socializing. Everything’s on my phone. Pictures of memories. My financial applications. I used to do online college from my phone. So it is the technology I am most grateful for.

September 20th, 2019

Day 3: What food are you most grateful for?

I love a good tamale or pupusa. But, I think I’m most grateful for Del tacos bean and cheese burritos. They’ve been a go to non-expensive food item that have kept me fed many many times since I was little. That and McDonald’s chicken nuggets, which are also a childhood favorite.

September 21st, 2019

Day 4: What memory in life are you most grateful for?

I’ll never forget the moment as a little girl coming home from flying on my own and running into my dad’s arms after thinking I’d never see him or the rest of my family again. He hugged me so tight it hurt, but I will never forget that hug. It reminds me that no matter what I will always love my family.

September 22nd, 2019

Day 5: What item in your home are you most grateful for?

I’m picking a mundane item for this because that is how I want to interpret this question. So the mundane item in my home I am most grateful for is the family coffee pot. Really recently, my mom finally purchased a coffee pot and since then I’m always drinking coffee. Recently, we’ve had pumpkin spice as well as red velvet flavored coffee that has been delicious. So I’m really grateful to have the coffee pot.

September 23rd, 2019

Day 6: What in nature are you most grateful for?

Literally all the animals! Animals are a gift to us all. They are so human and every single one of them is a unique blessing. I adore them.

September 24th, 2019

Day 7: What book are you most grateful for?

This is a very difficult question. I am grateful for so many books. I guess I have to say Twilight because it is the book that got me into reading in the first place. My life would be very different if I never read that book. So despite it not being the best book, I owe a lot to it.

September 25th, 2019

Day 8: What lesson in life are you most grateful for experiencing?

Day 8 is getting a bit heavy. The end of last year and the beginning of this year were some of the toughest months of my life. My mental state was not the best and my dad was in the worst part of his illness. I felt lost and utterly and completely alone. I found in myself such inner strength from dealing with all of that. I now find myself genuinely happy. I became very independent during this period and I learned how to be my own anchor and I also learned how to not take what other people say or do personally. Even things that my family would say that hurt. I learned to change my perspective. To stay grounded in who I am and what I believe. To do the best I can no matter what. But I also learned to follow joy wherever it is found. I don’t think of my dad’s illness in the same way. I don’t feel hopeless. I don’t feel alone. I understand myself better and I understand being human better. I am different now, but also very much the same. So I’m grateful for how the hard times teach the most valuable lessons.

September 26th, 2019

Day 9: What place have you traveled that you are most grateful for?

When I went to San Diego and swam with the dolphins when I was a kid. That’s such a bucket list experience and I was happy to have had it. It was a really amazing experience.

September 27th, 2019

Day 10: What are you most grateful for in your childhood?

I’m grateful for God’s hand in my childhood. I don’t speak much about religion. I’m not here to preach or tell anyone how to live their lives, but I cannot deny God’s hand in my life. Before I was born, my family made a decision to move to a specific place not realizing that that was where they would meet me. I came into their care in a daycare and in so many ways I’ve never left. I’ve always felt guided. I also always felt like I could trust that everything would be ok because I was put where I was for a reason. Especially one experience where I was bit in the eye by a dog and they got my eyelid completely but missed my eyeball. I’m grateful I have sight in both eyes because of that. If that wasn’t a miracle I don’t know what is.

September 28th, 2019

Day 11: What movie are you most grateful for?

This is difficult. Only because I’ve rarely ever thought of movies in a way of being grateful towards them the same way I do for books. But, I have to say that recently it was Endgame. Spoilers: when I saw that Captain Rodgers actually did get to live out a full life with Peggy when I thought that was impossible it released a wave of both happiness and pain inside me. Or rather it transformed pain into joy. It gave me hope to know that in life what’s meant to be will be and that the universe works in incredible and mysterious ways. Most of the time not in the way you think it will.

September 29th, 2019

Day 12: What 3 people in life are you most grateful for?

This is an easy question. My mom, dad, and my sister. I wouldn’t be who I am without them. Even if we don’t always get along perfectly, my life would be radically different without them. I love them with all my heart.

September 30th, 2019

Day 13: what season of the year are you most grateful for?

I am super grateful for fall. The weather is cooler. Things get spooky. I feel more alive and there is Halloween to look forward to and Christmas is not too far behind. It’s one of the most exciting times of the year.

October 1st, 2019

Day 14: What rejection in life are you most grateful for?

In my life, I have experienced many rejections. Mostly from people.. and I’m not just talking about crushes. But, I think the rejection I am most grateful for is the very first one. I don’t like calling it rejection, but my biological mom gave up her rights to keep me and gave me to my grandmother on my dad’s side. From there my grandmother in a way gave me to a family during daycare and while she was in my life after for the most part that family raised me. I wouldn’t be who I am without that first pass off or from the second. It was like baby hot potato. But, I have a family who raised me from love so I’m glad for it. I don’t know if I’d like who I am if I was raised elsewhere. I love the life I was granted. I would never have wanted my life to be different.

October 2nd, 2019

Day 15: What about your body are you most grateful for?

I’m grateful for all of my body. My ability to see and hear and touch and taste. I’m grateful for how my body heals. I’m grateful for my brain. I’m grateful for my bodies ability to adapt. To strengthen itself and show me that I’m capable of far more than I often believe. My body has gotten me up everyday and has experienced many beautiful things. I have learned to treasure it. I didn’t always feel that way.

October 3rd, 2019

Day 16: What band are you most grateful for?

The only true answer to this is Linkin Park. Even if I feel like in a way I shouldn’t be allowed to say so. It deeply reminds me of someone I care about and I don’t really know how they feel about me now, but Linkin Park is their favorite band and so I’m not sure about saying this answer even if it’s the only real answer to me that is true. Linkin Park’s Music is beautiful. It’s pulled so many people out of darkness. I even saw a video of a woman who used their lyrics to save a man’s life from committing suicide. Music that saves lives. Music that inspires people to walk in the light in a way that doesn’t shut out the fact that the dark exists. That’s incredible music. I am immensely grateful for it.

October 4th, 2019

Day 17: What about your job are you most grateful for?

I am grateful that I have it. That things have gotten better within it. That the majority of the people are worth working with, especially when it wasn’t always like that.

October 5th, 2019

Day 18: What trait do you have that you are most grateful for?

I am grateful for my sense of loyalty. Not necessarily just to people I care about, but to my ideals. I do my best everyday to be the best person I can be and to treat others well. The very basis of who I am is someone who wants to do some good in this life. Sometimes I mess up, but that’s ok. It all comes with being human.

October 6th, 2019

Day 19: What splurge item do you own that you are most grateful for?

I’m not lying when I say I never splurge. It’s not because I don’t want to it’s more that I convince myself that I’m better off saving for something for someone else. Or for an emergency. Last month I went to go by pants for myself at Forever 21 and I got these great pants for only $3.90 and they look amazing, but I got them for a very low amount. I’m really good at getting nice items for low prices. This includes books (which often come to me for free). I’m probably one of the lowest maintenance people out there. But, I have to admit if I see some shoes from Aldo or some sweatshirts and clothing from hot topic I want to buy them. Especially now that hot topic has this Hocus Pocus sweatshirt with witchy sleeves for $80 and I want that so bad. But, with Christmas coming I’m not even allowed to buy myself stuff. Talking about this makes me want to do a little splurging on myself. Maybe I’ll make a point of it after the year ends.

October 7th, 2019

Day 20: What are you most grateful for in your daily life?

I’m most grateful for the food I have to eat. Everyday I always have something and it’s usually something pretty tasty and the fact that I can eat everyday and try new foods when I want to is a wonderful thing.

October 8th, 2019

Day 21: What small item that you use daily are you most grateful for?

My earphones. They allow me to watch and listen to whatever I want without bothering anyone else with what I’m watching. They also help me to concentrate on one thing, especially if I’m listening to music while writing.

October 9th, 2019

Day 22: What Thanksgiving memory are you most grateful for?

Weirdly enough when I was a vegetarian for two years and this one thanksgiving my grandmother took me to her friends home for dinner and everyone tried to convince me to eat meat and I kept saying no. I’m grateful for this memory because it’s one of the first times I decided something about myself for myself that wouldn’t be changed because others thought it was strange. I may not be vegetarian now, but I do miss it. I never really learned how to do it properly and having to eat out quite a bit in a world where there isn’t always a vegetarian friendly option (looking at you in-n-out) I don’t really push it too much.

October 10th, 2019

Day 23: What use of your phone are you most grateful for?

The use I’m using right now. The ability to write blog posts and connect with others who share the same passions as I do. The amount of blessings I’ve received from blogging have been infinite and I will never ever regret one second of the journey I began 3 years ago! I truly am grateful for the friendships and opportunities that have opened up for me since starting and I know that there will be many more in the future!

October 11th, 2019

Day 24: What about social media are you most grateful for?

This is mostly a reiteration of yesterday. Because the social media I am most grateful for and that I care most about is WordPress. Blogging is an incredible thing. It’s changed my life multiple times. I know it will continue to in the future.

October 12th, 2019

Day 25: What are you most grateful for in your city?

That I live in a place with such a diverse amount of people and how you can go down a single street and see many different cultures and people living alongside one another.

October 13th, 2019

Day 26: What meal did you have today that you are most grateful for?

Both breakfast and lunch. My sister made food both times and when she makes it is always delicious. I had oatmeal in the morning and a meat soup with garlic bread for lunch. Both were amazing!

October 14th, 2019

Day 27: What are you most grateful for in your country?

I’m going to give a real answer for this, because I’m not always super patriotic and politics makes me angry and I can rant about certain things in politics for ages and get nowhere so.. that’s that. What I’m grateful for in this country is the people in it. No matter what craziness is going on the majority of Americans are good people who want to fight for what’s right. It’s the unity that I see in those who protest and who see injustice and call it out that truly make me feel good to be an American.

October 15th, 2019

Day 28: What about your home are you most grateful for?

I’m most grateful for having a home. A place to sleep. A place to keep myself clean and fed. A place where I feel safe. There isn’t really anything about it I’m more grateful for then anything else. All of it is precious to me.

October 16th, 2019

Day 29: What bill are you most grateful to be able to pay?

All of them? Rent is huge because without it I would have no place to live. My phone has everything and if I couldn’t pay that bill no one would be reading this now. Bills are such a necessary thing. The basics of living so I’m grateful to be able to pay them all.

October 17th, 2019

Day 30: What experience this month are you most grateful for?

I’m grateful for having dedicated myself to doing this and my yoga practice. I’m grateful because I’ve noticed that through these two things I’ve been able to reduce my anxiety and depression and to feel myself again. I’m so much happier today than I once was and I did that myself and for myself. I’m excited for the future and I’m excited for each day and that’s the greatest gift I’ve ever given myself.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

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My 3rd Blogoversery!!!!

This is my 3rd blogoversery. Officially I’ve been blogging for over 3 years! It’s been an incredible journey and I can’t say how incredibly it has changed my life.

Blogging has been my anchor in what was the most difficult period of my life. It was my something to do to pull myself above water and to take responsibility for my own happiness and health.

Through blogging I had a place to discuss my moods and my depression and through that I started to see what triggered it and how to find a way out. It helped me sit one on one with my anxiety and how I couldn’t continue on the way I was before. I learned how to flip the script in my mind to appreciate what I had in front of me. To honor my wants and desires and to let go of everything not in my control.

What I blog about and how often I do so has changed much. I do the best I can when I can. But, if I don’t feel like it that day or didn’t have the time I let that be ok. So many of you have stuck with me for so long. Some of you I’ve talked to personally about some of the more difficult things that have happened. Doing so has helped me immensely and I am grateful to those of you who know who you are.

I can’t say enough how amazing it is to be in a better place now mentally, physically, and emotionally. That is to say I still have bad days, but they don’t dictate my life. I’m human. I’ve learned to hold onto the good and let go of all the rest. The amount of good that has come from that choice has been infinite and I know that an infinite of good is what’s out there for me.

To every single person who follows and reads my content, Thank you! If anything I’ve ever said has made you smile or think a little deeper or helped you in any way whatsoever I’ve done my job as a blogger. Thank you all for being there. You have truly changed my life!

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

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30 Days of Yoga

I joined the Fightmaster 30 day yoga challenge in order to increase my flexibility and strength for yoga and this is how it went:

August 31st, 2019

Day 1:

I started this late and on a whim, but I’m glad I did. This workout was more of a stretch, relax, and feel good in your body then anything physically straining. It showcased how yoga is about being mindful and present in the moment and I really enjoyed the act of feeling good just being in my own skin.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/zzonBs06mX8

September 1st, 2019

Day 2:

This yoga introduced downward dog which has always been one of the more difficult positions for me because of the strength it requires. But, it was introduced in a light way so it actually felt nice to ease into it. I love these videos because of how peaceful they are. It’s more about the peace of mind and relaxation then it is about the positions. Which is what I believe yoga is and that’s why I’m excited to continue on over the next 28 days!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/nU7MedKNpLs

September 2nd, 2019

Day 3:

Today’s workout was super peaceful. I got up early. Got it done and my body felt really good while doing it. My mind felt clear and that was the best part!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/hNBWF2xvdOs

September 3rd, 2019

Day 4:

I am starting to really get used to things. I like that this time happy baby was added, even though it always has been a weird pose for me. It just feels peaceful to participate in this and so I’ll be happy to see how the rest of the month goes! Got a late yoga session with this one.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/hbMrx_Al1pU

September 4th, 2019

Day 5:

Today plank was added and I shook a lot for the first time. Other then that downward dog seems to be getting slightly easier and I am finding that I simply love the peace of the practice. Yoga I had done before had almost no room for me as my body isn’t really all that flexible. Although, I know with more practice it can get there. Either way I’m actually liking doing a bit of yoga each day.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/hOiFFhNvHoA

September 5th, 2019

Day 6:

Today I really felt the stretch in my back. My spine was cracking and twisting and it needed this today. Hopefully by the end of the month my forward bend flexibility increases. I’ve always desired flexibility and I think it’s time I dedicate myself more to it so I can thank myself later.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/BzmxPvv1c7I

September 6th, 2019

Day 7:

A week down! This time I did a nice morning workout and did an ab workout afterwards. This video was a little more strength based and doing the plank pose makes my body shake a bit, but developing strength and flexibility is important so It’s all good. Also, it’s my first week completed which is something to celebrate!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/ZSI3VUn6tI4

September 7th, 2019

Day 8:

Today was the start of the 20 minute long sessions and it didn’t really feel any longer. I was in downward dog and plank a lot more, but I feel like I’m building up more arm strength. This was an afternoon session and I find that my back is feeling really good and stretched out afterwards and I feel very relaxed. I’ve very much enjoyed the practice so far!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/yYnIl4z6cpw

September 8th, 2019

Day 9:

Today my hormones were pretty imbalanced and I didn’t feel like doing anything. However, finally at night I decided to do my yoga practice and it’s the peace it gives my mind that makes me happy to practice everyday. Honestly, my monthlies tend to depress me and a lot of the time I give in because I get in pain and I’m tired, but the yoga reminds me I can push through.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/uKBzhC91zU0

September 9th, 2019

Day 10:

A morning session today! I loved the stretch in my back I got today. My body needed this yoga session. All the moves are becoming more fluid and easier and plank isn’t making me shake as bad anymore. I love that this is building strength as well as flexibility. But, most of all this is helping me with patience and peace of mind. When you can have peace in your mind I think you can handle and do anything!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/gpVoqFi3vC8

September 10th, 2019

Day 11: Late session! I went to see It: Chapter 2 today so I couldn’t do yoga this morning. I noticed that I could stretch a bit deeper into one of the stretches today. Slowly, I’m getting better and that fills me with pride!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/OlzpyEjgDs4

September 11, 2019

Day 12:

I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to practice today. I got off work crazy tired, but I’m glad I was able to make some time to do it anyway. It always feels really good.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/bP75NKKCOFo

September 12, 2019

Day 13:

Today was a bit more difficult. There was more downward dog to plank to cobra positions. As well as new positions that increased a bit of the intensity. However, I found I could get through it not too badly so I’m pretty proud of myself!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/cb0hOHn1UhM

September 13th, 2019

Day 14:

I was glad that today was for 15 minutes. My mind has been all over the place and this practice is very grounding for me. It helps me feel peace. Even as it has gotten increasingly more difficult. Though I find I ease into it well enough. I’m happy to have committed to this these past two weeks.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/PAOxy—1qU

September 14th, 2019

Day 15: there was this new stretch today that I’ve never done before that felt incredible. I also noticed I had a slight increase in my flexibility. As well as downward dog and plank becoming ever more easier and comfortable to me. My back always feels great after a practice and I feel that it’s helping my back to be a little more aligned. Also today I was noticeably able to deepen my forward fold.. which is probably my weakest flexibility point. I’m super proud of that because it means that as I continue my practice I will also continue to get better!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/8PsbNxI0gWk

September 15th, 2019

Day 16:

Today, I know I was on the precipice of not doing my practice. However, I’ve been so good at doing it so I’m glad I put my foot down and did it anyway. Today she added reverse table and it made my arms burn a bit, but for the most part it felt like a good burn. I’m getting very used to the regular poses and am now pretty comfortable with the majority of the practice.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/eUPShtvPhnU

September 16th, 2019

Day 17: Today was very short. A nice reprieve after several heavy work days for me so this was very much welcome! I’m excited to continue the practice. I think I’m falling in love with yoga.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/GFK4R4DUaYs

September 17th, 2019

Day 18: Today was the first time I found myself break a sweat. The new pose today was pretty intense and I couldn’t fully straighten my leg, but I did my best! But, all in all, it was a lovely practice as always.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/0l548HXWfDM

September 18th, 2019

Day 19: I did a morning practice and there was a new pose added that felt pretty interesting. I liked that it was focused on hip opening and stretching muscles that usually don’t get stretched.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/6OyCLWZTq04

September 19th, 2019

Day 20:

Today was all about twists! My back feels so wonderful right now. I’m hoping that since I can’t go to a chiropractor anytime soon that the yoga helps with my back alignment. Another peaceful practice today!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/ZnW0NDDDQrE

September 20th, 2019

Day 21:

Today’s practice was a meditation and I’ve been pretty tired today so I’m glad it was something gentle. It’s the end of the 3rd week and I’m proud to have kept this up! I don’t always stick to stuff like this, but I’m glad to have stuck this one through!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/9FKJZPR-X9I

September 21st, 2019

Day 22:

A 30 min practice today! I almost forgot to do it, but I’m glad I remembered and did it before it got too late. Today the practice simply felt good. My back popped a lot, but that is normal. As always, a peaceful practice.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/yQhmH6S0eb4

September 22nd, 2019

Day 23:

Today’s workout was really exciting for me! I noticed significant improvement in all the poses. Especially my forward fold which I could only bend with my back straight to wear I could touch my knees and now I am a little bit above my ankles. I’m so proud of myself! Improving my flexibility has been a major goal of mine for the majority of my life that I never committed to. Now doing this practice everyday and it’s only been 3 weeks and I’ve seen such major improvement! It just goes to show you can do anything you set your mind to. Also, I’m arm strength has also improved! I’m doing better in every aspect!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/jpmV72rgNto

September 23rd, 2019

Day 24:

Today was not as breezy as normal. My arms were tired from work and then doing this was tougher than usual. I’m hoping that tomorrow my arms feel a bit better. I think it’s just that today has been a strange one all around and I’ve been tired all day. Hopefully, after some rest tonight I can feel a bit better tomorrow.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/fB-wNCqlyEY

September 24th, 2019

Day 25:

I got my flu shot today. So during this practice my arm was a bit sore. She did some fast vinyasas and I was not exactly happy with it. But, my back always feels so good after a practice it’s always worth it. She introduced pigeon pose today. It was a bit intense, but not too bad. All in all a great practice!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/ON8TAGuUgTY

September 25th, 2019

Day 26:

The start of today’s practice I was a little out of whack. But, as the practice continued I entered the flow of it again. Some of the poses today were preparing for headstand so I’m excited! Especially because I was doing those poses well and that meant I might be ready to try next time!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/Zq3qlpByTZw

September 26th, 2019

Day 27:

Today was a stretch day. Something I was grateful for. Somehow though, this was a little more painful to me. I think it’s mostly because it is my weakest part. But I know with practice my flexibility will increase.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/mfvbDUtWiJA

September 27th, 2019

Day 28: I am so proud of myself today. I had a sucky day today. Honestly, it was probably the suckiest day I’ve had in awhile, but I calmed myself, I looked at why I was feeling the way I was and I turned it around. Doing this yoga today was so wonderful! I successfully did crow pose. Which is basically holding your whole body weight up with your hands. Plus, I realized I love fightmaster so much because she really talks about how everything is progressing at the level you are ready for and that the pose isn’t what’s important. It gives me a feeling of pride to know I really am doing my best at the level I’m at, in yoga and in life!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/7LKPgLB5iHI

September 28th, 2019

Day 29:

Today I noticed I could go even deeper into my forward fold. I didn’t understand one of the moves, but I tried it again afterwards and realized that I was putting my hands in the opposite direction and finally got it. Also inversión prep today! It was nice to walk myself up the wall and feel like I’d eventually be able to do a full handstand!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/xRif9lkEumc

September 29th, 2019

Day 30: I Learned today that I may not be completely ready for a headstand. But, what is most important is that I dedicated myself for 30 days and I made it! I also made some incredible progress! Eventually I will make it to the headstand, but the majority of this practice was about mentally dedicating oneself and progressing at your own pace. I’m so glad I decided to do this! It’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’m so grateful to fightmaster for creating these videos. She is so peaceful and kind! I can’t wait to further my yoga practice and continue progressing to see how my body adapts and continues to do amazing things!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/V-9A6fH9TxA

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

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Real Talk

I know I do this a lot. But, for me it’s the easiest way to process a lot of the stuff that’s going through my mind. As well as sharing my process into becoming the best version of myself I can be, because I think that’s helpful. To hear about healing and growth from someone who is still figuring stuff out.

Also, to know that you shouldn’t have to figure everything out at once. I feel like we all put so much pressure on ourselves to be one way or another, but it’s all not necessary. If we all just do the best we can at a moment. Even if our best is simply showing ourselves a little self-care then that’s golden!

Im my life I’m proud that I’ve gotten to a place where I’m more often happy then not. Honestly, a majority of my life wasn’t like that and it wasn’t my fault. I’ve realized a lot of things that I thought were terrible parts of me aren’t actually so terrible.. just human. This isn’t to say I don’t make myself accountable for mistakes I made, but I no longer define who I am by my mistakes. I course correct. I remind myself to do my best in every situation and to be kind and I move forward.

But, more recently I’ve added be happy to that too. To follow anything that adds to my happiness. And the weird thing is I’ve realized that people actually prefer me happy. That might be a weird thing, but in my mind I didn’t really think people much cared or noticed if I was happy or not, but they do. It’s also interesting that the happier I am the more blessings that follow. The other day I found a 5 dollar bill on the floor and no one else seemed to see it. My coworkers often offer to share food with me (which is a thing in itself.. I swear people always offer me food). A random customer gave me one of the perfume samples she got after I complimented her perfume. I’ve also had more coffee in the past few weeks then I’ve had in my whole life.

It’s like being happy=more things to be happy about. I’m not complaining. It’s opened a whole new world before me. The past few days I’ve sorta been not focusing on it as much as I should only because I’ve been working so much. But, talking here is helping me to refocus and think about how things are working out in a beautiful way even if I can’t see how in various situations yet. Sometimes there are blessings that come from the shadows and your perceptive shifts in an instant and everything changes.

Anyway, I’m headed to sleep, but this was a nice little thought bubble post. Your input is much appreciated.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

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Yesterday’s Wordcount: 0

Perfection

Perfection is an ideology

Wrapped in a tight rope around our minds

We strive and strive to the standards that will always be moved one block above our heads unreachable

Let me say that again unreachable

Because the hands create the blocks and pile them up higher and higher

The video game buzzes “Ok”, “meh”, “perfect”

We climb and climb this ever growing mountain

And dig ourselves a hole of depression and anxiety piled up in our insecurity and worthlessness

We think perfection is the answer to love and all that’s holy, but the truth is we will never get there and acceptance

Well that’s the clarity

When you start to heal the expectation of being anything other then who you are

in every moment of bitterness

you cut the bindings

Suddenly your body is a masterpiece

Suddenly your happiness is within reach

Suddenly your not chasing your creating

Suddenly your not afraid of the societal definition of who you should be

Perfection is spoon fed into the mouths of all our children

Perfection is yelled into 4th grade track teams and football wannabes

Perfection is sewn into the fabric of our literal clothing

But, wouldn’t you be surprised to hear the places that make a profit from the defects

You see nothing you do is worthless

Especially not because that something was a mishap

We all make mistakes, thousands every day

So let’s stop kidding ourselves

Let’s give who we are some kindness

It’s ok. You are ok.

Let’s clean out all the madness

Peace is found in letting go of who we think we need to be

All the thoughts that cause you suffering don’t need to suffocate the joyful laughter that lives inside your ever passionate heart

Dust away those thoughts so you can create a reality of celebrating true humanity

Perfection doesn’t exist and it never did

So stop hurting

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! I wrote this poem on a whim like a majority of my poetry. It’s an idea I’ve been thinking about a lot. I hope you enjoyed!

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An Observation of Happiness

I have gone through a lot of personal transformation in my life recently. Technically this is something that is lifelong, but I have felt one of the first noticeable shifts in myself in the past 3 months.

The most important thing that has caused this shift in myself is my continuous decision to be happy no matter what is going on in my life. When I made this decision I immediately looked to find self care and self love practices to add to my daily routine. I knew it wouldn’t be an instant thing and it wasn’t. It took me some time to choose happiness and to let go of thoughts that didn’t add to my happiness.

It was a huge choice that lead to me realizing how deeply I truly value myself and I noticed how over time all negative situations and people began to leave my life and I’ve experienced more and more happy situations and positive interactions with others as well. But, most importantly, I noticed I was genuinely and peacefully happy and it wasn’t attached to anything outside of myself.

I feel like I could handle any situation in a peaceful way now that I’ve started the creation of this unbreakable peace within myself. This doesn’t mean I don’t get sad or angry or feel negative emotions, but more that when I feel those things I notice it and I ask myself why I feel that way and gently guide myself into looking at the situation from a higher perspective. This is especially noticeable for me when I think about the future. When I notice that I want to paint all the obstacles of what could be and I start to feel bad about what might be, I can easily get lost in those thoughts. However, I notice it now and I can flip the script and turn that negative thought pattern into a more positive one.

It’s to where I feel like I’m exactly where I am supposed to be in my life and that I can be at peace even if things aren’t exactly the way I’d want them to be. I’ve learned to deeply and truly appreciate every morsel of good in my life. Even the most mundane of things. Like being grateful that I have a chair to sit in or for the shampoo I use to wash my hair or for the face wash that keeps my face clean. Every single part of my reality that aides me becomes something extraordinary and wonderful. Something worth appreciating.

Especially my own body. I’ve noticed that I really truly have come to love and appreciate my body. Even my nose (a part that I’d disliked heavily for years and years) is now something I love about myself. I feel good in my own skin. I love the muscles that are forming in my arms from work. I love how I look in clothing I try on at the store. I love that I don’t care if what looks good on me is an xtra large or a medium. I used to cry sometimes when I saw something I thought was cute didn’t look good on me in the store. Forming a healthy and loving relationship with my body is one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever given to myself. I fully appreciate what makes me unique.

I no longer talk about mental health in quite the way I used to. I don’t because I know that for my own mental health I need to discuss this topic in a positive way or not at all. I no longer tolerate in myself the feeling of self-pity. I don’t meant that in a harsh way, but in a way of being a good friend to myself and treating myself the way I would treat one of my friends if they were feeling down by lifting them up.

It feels good to wake up and feel happy for every single small joy in my life. To be happy just to be alive.

Thank you all for reading! Thank you all for being a part of my journey. You are all incredible people. I hope you all have a blessed day and a wonderful week ahead.

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-Till next time!