2020 was an awful year. I think all of us can agree on that. It’s also been a particularly strange year. There’s been some questionable things that have happened this year.
I’m happy to say good bye to 2020. I can’t say I’m not terrified of what’s to come. There’s certain things that I know have to come eventually and currently I’m not ready for it. Christmas Day my dad had to be taken to the hospital. He has been battling cancer for a long while now and we learned that the tumor has made his prostate the size of a small watermelon when it’s only supposed to be the size of a walnut. Which causes all kinds of complications in the body.
Also, the doctors never told us if his cancer has spread or not. Or if his bleeding was solely because his prostate is so large. Also, the fear of my mom taking my dad to the emergency room as Covid is out of control was some of the most terrifying anxiety I’ve ever experienced. The good news is he is home now and they are going to figure out if he is viable for surgery or not.
Fear. Fear for me is what drove 2020. Fear and hope and just doing my best to be happy and somehow having those wonderful happy moments I’ll cherish forever within this year.
This year has been exhausting and yet I’ve looked forward to each day because yes the world is terrible right now, but I can’t let myself seek in too despair constantly because what’s the point otherwise? I take comfort in the things I can do. The moments I can enjoy. Because those moments are what make life worth living.
This year I found a wonderful person I love and friends that have been amazing. People who have all made me laugh and feel a little lighter. People I’m proud to have by my side.
Covid has changed the world. Both slowed down and accelerated my life. Made me terrified and yet made me want to love those around me harder.
It’s a terrible year and yet it’s changed my life in good ways too. I have memories I’ll cherish for the rest of my life from this year. Yet, moments that will forever be remembered by the anxiety and fear I felt while living them.
2020 has brought out a lot of the worst in many people. A lot of a ‘who cares’ attitude that puts families like mine at risk. That fear will carry into 2020, because the pandemic isn’t over and I know it won’t be for a long while.
I’m happy to have the people in my life I have in my corner. Together, we’ve survived 2020. That in and of itself is enough of an accomplishment.
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