Books of Christmas Past 2018

I hope everyone is having a fun wonderful and safe Christmas Eve. I hope everyone is spending some quality time with family, friends, and loved ones this holiday season. As is tradition on my blog I every Christmas Eve, day, and day after I create Books of Christmas Past, Present, and Future. Last year I was fortunate enough to receive some really great books for the holidays!

Without further ado here are my books of Christmas Past 2018:

The Girl Who Could Silence the Wind

I have yet to read this beautiful looking book. It was a giveaway surprise I received shortly before Christmas last year and I’m sad that I hadn’t gotten to read it just yet. It’s magical realism which is a genre that always captures my attention and I know that when I finally get to it I’m going to adore this book!

Hunting Prince Dracula by Kerri Maniscalco

Last year I received this incredible gem of a book and I adored reading it. The Stalking Jack the Ripper series is one of my absolute all time favorites and I’m so excited to one day pick up Escaping Houdini!!! I could scream my love of this book for ages and never stop. If your interested here is the link to my review.

Goodbye Days by Jeff Zentner

I’ve been meaning to read this book for a long while now, but this and many other books have been put to the side for a while due to the events of recent times. I’m hoping I get into reading it in the new year!

Wintersong by S. Jae-Jones

I can’t believe I got this book only last year. I loved reading it, but I didn’t realize that it was going to mean as much to me as it does now. This book is special. In a much deeper way to me then it was when I first read it. I’m going to make it a point to re-read this and Shadowsong in the new year. If you are interested in all my thoughts and feelings here’s a link to my review! This book was one of my favorites of 2017, but now I’m willing to say its one of my all time favorites ever.

The First Four Books In the Throne of Glass Series

This book was the start of a really fantastic series for me. I enjoyed reading immensely. Especially the books after ‘Throne of Glass’.

Again such a great series. It just gets better as it goes on.

Thanks for reading!!! Merry Christmas Eve to all of you! I hope you have amazing times with your family, friends, and loved ones!

-Till next time!

Let’s Talk About: 2018

This year has been a lot and it’s not even over yet, but I am so ready to let this year go and see what 2019 has to bring me. However, that’s more for a later post.

Now I want to talk about this crazy, weirdly not as bad as I previously thought, yet also kinda terrible year. To be honest, the beginning of the year was a blur. I don’t remember much. I was probably frustrated due to finical struggles that continue on to today. The one bright spot was getting a car after a stint of not having one due to awful circumstances that live in 2017.

I remember being frustrated with the same job I still have that has been an ongoing thing this year. I remember applying to a lot of different other jobs that didn’t take. I remember being frustrated with being stagnant in my life and feeling like I was never going to really make anything of myself.

I remember making many many pledges to myself this year and the pride I felt when I kept some of those pledges. One being to do something about my weight because it bothered me and I felt ugly in clothing and so I made it a point to do something about it and it worked. I lost over 14 pounds this year and I’m still losing weight. I remember focusing on my mental health and trying to get back into writing and finishing a draft of a novel for the first time.

On the heel of all that, things that meld together because everyday I made it a point to get up early and make that day a new chance to do what I wanted to do (something I need to bring back into my life), I had a very weird and beautiful period that brought some great people into my life and all of a sudden I found myself in love. That love story was crazy and beautiful and full of hope. The relationship lasted for two months. I knew the guy for three. I am still at a loss for words about it all. I still love this person very much. Regardless, of anything that’s been said to me about it. Regardless, of being terribly confused because I feel like for the first time I don’t understand the why of something because I don’t have the full story. Regardless of the fact that this person left my life in such a way that it’s like he poofed himself out of existence. I still deeply care for love and hope happiness for this person. I wish for all his dreams whatever they may be to come true.

However, the loss and the whole crazy beautiful unbelievable story of it has literally changed my life in so many ways. One, I didn’t ever realize how true it is that break-ups are the worst thing mentally ever. The amount of tears and confusion and physical pain I have felt due to his loss is a bit of insanity. I have never felt so out of myself then I have in this experience. Especially because the truth of the matter is this guy felt like the one. Call me crazy stupid whatever, but that’s how I felt. We got along incredibly well. We understood each other. Something about the thought of him just existing and being the amazing guy I believed in made me feel stable. I don’t know, but I was happier then I had been in years and I was discovering new music with him and I was opening myself up to his world and it felt like he was opening himself up to mine.

All I know is for the rest of my life I will always have this guy in my heart. I will always feel a sense of love for him. Because even if I don’t know the whole story or why we couldn’t be together when everything seemed to be so good and changed so rapidly, I will always know that the love was real. That the guy I was getting to know was as authentic with me as he could be. That I will forever be a better person for knowing him. Whatever happens in the future. Should I meet someone that somehow makes me feel something greater then what he made me feel I will always have a piece of his heart with my own. Even though somewhere deep down I get the feeling that his presence in my life isn’t over and I can’t shake it.

But, to clarify something, I don’t think I handled being in a relationship as well as I could have. There are things that I look back on and think that I should have done things differently. One of those things was how much anxiety I was allowing to build up in myself. I worried a lot more then I should have. I miscalculated a lot of things. I thought my family would be cool with it when they weren’t for reasons I didn’t agree with. I tried to figure out ways to somehow get things to work when a lot of it was out of my control. I also didn’t let him introduce himself the way he wanted to and I shouldn’t have done that. I made a lot of mistakes on my part. However, he was the first thing I choose for myself and though I wish things had turned out differently it I learned a lot of life lessons.

One thing I learned is that I convinced myself that I needed him and maybe in some ways that was true, but the truth is more that I wanted him in my life very badly and I could not imagine for the life of me a more beautiful future for myself then the one with him in it. That even if loosing him wasn’t what I wanted I could move forward in my life without him in it. That I would be ok. Right now, I’m more ok then I was. I think I will always miss him. He is a big part of the reason why I’m trying so hard to stay positive. He taught me that no matter how bleak a situation may look there is always something good in life to enjoy. There will always be weird random things in this world that remind me of him like the time I cried at Walmart just cause I saw some Alfredo sauce and remembered him saying once that he would make pasta with his sister. Or when listening to any Michael Buble song ever. Or every-time my sister puts on the Karate kid and my soul dies a little because I swear I’ve never met a guy who loved that movie as much as he did and I live in a house where that movie gets played a billion times over. This guy even instilled in me a love of heavy metal I never thought I would have. I don’t understand it but somehow so many of those songs bring me peace. Damn it if the sound of guitar played a certain way even in a song I had never heard before brings a tear in my eyes. Losing this guy affected me incredibly deeply. Yet, I’m surprised at how short and small any anger I had was. It’s all just been deep sadness and a deep sense of loss. For a while I couldn’t (sometimes still can’t) eat quite right because things weren’t tasting quite right and I felt like throwing up. I never thought I’d feel that way. Not over a guy. Yet here I am.

Maybe it was partially that it was a perfect storm of sucky things. My dad ending up in the hospital again the day after I realized I’d been ghosted. Finding out my dad had four mini strokes. The many not fun discussions I’d have with my mom because of said guy. Other frustration with myself for feeling like I’d overreacted about everything and that maybe that was why things happened the way they did. Also realizing that my mental health was essentially garbage and I needed time to process everything before I even could have a chance of healing.

So here I am now. After another decent break from blogging due to the chaos a day before my 20th birthday and somehow finding that things aren’t so bad. My dad is doing ok. He’s the same as he has been. I have some plans to take on 2019. I’m no longer in my wallowing stage of my grief. I’m willing to take on whatever it is that life is going to throw at me next.

I will not live in my past. I will not let apathy settle in my heart. 2018 was what it was. A lot of it sucked a lot of it was beautiful and a lot of it was positive too. I know that one day everything is going to turn out alright and everything that has happened will make a lot more sense. All that being said, I wish farewell to 2018 it’s not quite reached its end, but believe me I will be breathing a sigh of relief once it’s over.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

Books of Christmas Past 2017

Hello everyone! It’s Christmas Eve and it’s a time of anticipation, enjoying being with family and friends, and of hope for what’s to come. Firstly, I want to wish you all a safe and happy Christmas and I want to thank you all for joining me in my blogging journey over the past year. Without you all in my life so many of the opportunities and friendships I now have would never have happened and for that I am eternally grateful.

Last year I started a series to celebrate the season with the things I enjoy most books! I created the Books of Christmas Past, Present, and Future!

In 2016, I got a lovely variety of books that I am sad to say I mostly haven’t read. So not only is this a reminder to myself to get my butt in gear and read those books that I have on my shelves, but also to appreciate some titles I have seemingly forgotten about.

Here they are:

The Hundred Lies of Lizzie Lovett by Chelsea Sedoti 

This book was one that I won in a giveaway hosted by the amazing Krysti Meyer from Ya and Wine! It was an arc that I did end up reading and loving for its quirky MC and its unique storyline. Read about my love for it in my review here!

Tricks by Ellen Hopkins

I remember being so excited to have found this at a thrift store last December. I bought it as a gift to myself and it was one of the first books I read in January. This book was intense and it was such a hard read for me, but I think that’s what I love most about Ellen Hopkins books they rip you apart at the seams. Here is a link to my review here!

Replica by Lauren Oliver

I was so excited to see this under the tree and I really really wanted to read it, but I just never got to. Replica has one of the most unique formats I have ever heard of and I just really want to finally read it.

Sea Spell by Jennifer Donnelly

This was a fourth book in a series of which I read the first two books of. Looking at this title now I feel myself really missing the world and I am realizing that I really should get back to reading the series. I know I would have a ton of fun reading the final two.

Rebel Angels and The Sweet Far Thing by Libba Bray

These two were books I also found at the thrift store without the first book to begin the series. I actually was only able to get the first book in September of this year so I don’t feel too bad for not having had time to read these yet.

Jane by April Lindner

I was super into Jane Eyre last year and so I was really excited to have gotten this retelling. However, with all the craziness that was 2017 I never got to read it so I’m hoping to give it a shot in the new year!

The Bone Season by Samantha Shannon

I devoured this book! Later on I eventually got the sequel and devoured it as well and I’m hoping to get the third book in the new year. (I’m just a little depressed with the cover change they did, but hopefully I can get over it). I am just so grateful to have received this book for Christmas last year.

Here are links to both the first and second book here and here!

Made for You by Melissa Marr

I have been meaning to read this book for SO LONG! This is another book that life has separated me from that I need to go back to and read. It sounds like such a good creepy and fun time and I just need to read it soon.

Venom by Fiona Paul 

This book was a lot of fun. It was crazy, romantic, and a tad bit morbid, but truly I enjoyed it. Eventually I do want to read the second book, but in some ways I feel that if I never do I will always remember this book fondly.

Free to Fall by Lauren Miller

I really need to read this Intriguing Sci-fi! It is centered around an app that makes decisions for you and that just sounds like a super interesting concept to me. It’s just one other book that I didn’t get to read this year and for that I am pretty sad.

Last year I got a total of 11 books and I read only 4 of them…. 1/3rd isn’t too bad, but I really should read more of what is on my shelves. Honestly, I am just so grateful to the people who cared enough to get me something special like these books for Christmas. I am so happy to be where I am today and sometimes it is important to take a step back and look at where you have been to see a better way to the future.

Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed this post and I hope you all have a very lovely and Bookish Christmas!!!

-Till next time!

Books of Christmas Past 2016


I wanted to start a blogmas tradition this holiday season with books of Chritmas past, present, and future. Inspired by A Christmas Carol, I wanted to get into the holiday spirit featuring themes from my favorite Grinch, Mr.  Scrooge. 

Here are the books I recieved last Christmas that I got the chance to read during 2016. 

Pure by Julianna Baggot


This book is unsurvivable, if I went through what the characters in this book did I would never survive. Intense, dark, and grotesquely beautiful, I hope that everyone gives this book a try. 

Soundless by Richelle Mead 


This book was such an interesting and unique story of a women who lives her entire life soundless. The unique ways the village tries to survive and the mythical entanglements surrounding the book were wonderful. 

The Dead House by Dawn Kurtagich 


This book messes with your brain, and there are certain elements I didn’t see coming. The way it was written was dark and inviting. This book was definitely one of my most anticipated reads of 2016.

Ensnared by A.G. Howard


Like all of the Splintered series this book was gorgeously written. I love the world of wonderland and I feel so nostalgic talking about it now. God do I miss Morpheus.. sigh. 

Untamed by A.G Howard 


This novella bind up had my favorite story of all of the books and my least favorite. All thanks to… Morpheous and Jeb. (The least favorite being due to a personal vendetta against Jeb… sorry Jeb) Nevertheless, beautifully told. 

Dorothy Must Die by Danielle Paige 


I never thought that The Wizard of Oz could be so dark. This book was fantastic! 

The Wicked Will Rise by Danielle Paige 


I enjoyed this sequel so much. I was so angry when it ended and I couldn’t read the next one right away. 

Dorothy Must Die: Stories by Danielle Paige


These three wonderful novellas give so much more dimension and backstory to Dorothy Must Die. Read my full review here.

Deep Blue by Jennifer Donnelly 


More action packed than I would have ever expected, Deep Blue mixes prophecy and urgency to create a book that keeps you on your toes. 

Rouge Wave by Jennifer Donnelly 


Jennifer Donnelly has become one of my favorite authors of all time. Thanks to all the books I have gotten to read from her this year, I have never once been disappointed. 

These Shallow Graves by Jennifer Donnelly 

I wasn’t sure if I was going to like this, I wasn’t sure if this book was going to be worth the read, but I was wrong and discovered a wonderful novel with a girl who never gave up no matter what the cost. 

Historical intrigue mixed with romance, secrecy, and a whole lot of danger. This book is so much more then a simple novel about a girl trying to figure out the truth of her fathers death. It is a scandal, a deliciously juicy on that leaves you wanting more. Jennifer Donnelley writes with passion and successfully leads the reader on a journey that will break their hearts. She is a creator of words that will stick with you… Long after the final evidence comes with into play. One of my favorite reads of 2016!

Talon by Julie Kagawa 


 I called this the perfect first novel, because this was a place that certainly set the stage with some lulls and discovery for a great new series to begin!

Rogue by Julie Kagawa


This book! I can’t say a word other than to say, it’s sooo good!

Divergent by Veronica Roth


Long ago the hype train arrived and long ago I missed it. Years later, I receive this book as a Christmas gift, and years later I find an enjoyable novel leaving me wishing I was fighting alongside the dauntless. 

The Sweetest Spell by Suzanne Selfors 


Chocolate, love, and magic, need I say more?

Fairest by Gail Carson Levine


A girl filled with the desire to be beautiful tampers with magic to become so. An enchanted story that teaches us that what really matters is on the inside. 

Blindsided by Priscilla Cummings 


A story honestly told, about a girl who becomes blind. Short, but insightful this book centers around what it’s like for the newly blind. 
Thank you so much for reading! I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas and a happy New Year! 

-Till next time!