A Taste of My Current WIP

Right now I am working actively on two different stories. My fantasy novel and a poetry collection that is like a fragment book of memories, thoughts, and emotions that deals with growing up, my family life, dealing with anger and depression, and the struggle of wanting to be someone other then myself.

I want to give you all a taste of that project with the poem I wrote for it today. Something that I would love to hear feedback on!

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It is the night that inspires me and under its darkness I have said the things that were both my greatest thoughts and harshest twists at my families expense.

Everything is heightened when the world goes down into silence including my anger including my desire including my pain.

How could I allow myself to say the things I have said when my mom’s face grows sour, my tears inconsolable, the pieces of myself being cut away.

I don’t know this midnight monster I see in the mirror with it’s tears on display and it’s teeth sharp ready to speak with a voice tinged in the blood from which it stabbed its own gums.

It is the night where it comes out and I choose to dance or I choose to let it breath and when it breathes it kills and while it hurts those I love it kills me slowly slowly I lose my breath my mind my need to exist.

Yet my savior comes in a small still voice of the little girl who knew the same pain yet tried and tried and tried and so for her I continue on I swallow the breaking pieces of teeth and I let the tears become small specs of salt shining down my face.

I scream I’m sorry forgive me I’m sorry

I’m trying I’m trying I’m trying

I try to accept my deserved untrue “it’s ok, it’s not a big.” deal like a large and burning pill.

Even when I want to fight it the answer my thoughts my actions the reactions… I was the the monster and monsters always get what they deserve.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments.

-Till next time!

The Ones Without Emotion

We are the generation of the digital proletariat

working hard for every Like, comment, and LOL.

We aim for angles, Little slivers of things, anything to make us seem more or less than who we actually are.

We are the democratic the snowflakes the ones who hold hands and raise our phones to commemorate the wrongs we will no longer let pass.

We are the soldiers at war fighting, penning our 80 character’s, threading on our most social bird.

We are the ones who stare at seemingly white screens laughing internally and giving away nothing.

We are the web the trolls the memes and the vloggers our time is for the views for better or for worse.

We are the mindless and the valiente the hipsters the woke educators the tired jets.

We remember for as long as the world seems to care and once the next thing is up we take arms for our new affairs.

We are the hope filled, the loved, the gay, we are more than 1 and 0 colored in RGB.

We are the gamers the nerds and the thieves the ones who battle on our VR TV’s.

We are the new and we are the Grave. We will always be fighting and we will always be brave. We will always be connected and we will always know what’s up. We will never back down. We will never give up. We are the ones who will pen forever from our screens. We are the digital age. We will always fight for what’s ours. We will always be free.

Thanks so much for reading! This is the first poem I’ve posted on here for a good long while. I hope you all like it! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

-Till next time!

For Tomorrow 

Sometimes you need to things don’t go as planned.. Life deals cards as it feels like it

Sometimes you need to see where you are to see your even further away from the person you thought you wanted to be… regrets aren’t regrets until after the deeds been done

Sometimes you need to leave today behind for tomorrow

Lost to a Great Tide


The sea desolves inward 

                  folding in on itself 

The smallest edges caress you 

                   only to bashfully recede 

I see children try to catch waves like lost clouds

but really waves are nets meant to catch children

                  make them children lost to a great tide

I wonder about the bones dancing together under waves 

human, animal, mollusk… all meeting the same fate 

We are all children lost to a great tide

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think of this poem down in the comments. It’s an odd one, but my mind is odd at the moment. 

-Till next time! 

Reality


I walked down the dirt path. My feet coated with stickers, rocks, and dusty newly formed mud I sat down to look at the cuts on my feet 

As you watched with a bottle of clear water and shoes on your feet. You checked the shining gold of your watch, and went away. 
Sometimes I forget. I wake up. I go to work. I eat. I laugh. I sleep. I repeat. Then, I forget and forget and forget. In the simplicity of time I forget that others are standing on the side of the rode with ribs showing, feet crusty, and smelling of decrepit dirt. I forget because it is easy. I forget because when I remember it hurts. I forget because I could have easily been that person on the street begging and pleading for help, but I got lucky, to think that flip of the coin is what’s real hits hard. 

-Till next time!

Elemental

Basking in the light I cannot see 

I relish the heat, the tenor, the scent of morning times

The soft dirt beneath my feet 

The tap tap of a bird pecking a tree 

Then the coolness of a summer breeze 

I bask in the light I cannot see

I live in the dark I always feel

No difference between night and day except how it tastes 

A different wine, a different food, the heat drifting into cool

I bask in the light I cannot see

-Till next time!

Sedition 


I am like a wave crashing rushing to touch the shore, then with the sands grazing across my skin I run back only to crash right back into the beach surface. 

I am like the light of the sun pleasent for a short mornings bask, but deadly and uncomfortable after too much exposure and I will never apologize. 

I am like the rock who sits and waits and takes and takes and takes and who is molded by other hands who see more then simple stone, but then breaks into dust by crushing grip. 

I am like every story you have ever heard swirling with some inner beauty but who suffers and suffers and suffers until deemed unrecognizable and changed. 

I am like the bird who is caged and hits itself upon the Glass that is freedom until stunned and dead and never free. 

My body is the clock growing and moving and dying with each slow second dimming and aching at the loss of yesterday. 

I am like the stars in the sky and the wind and the earth and everything in it and every thing in the universe. 

Nothing is new, nothing is original, nothing is the same. 

Every muscle of my being every molecule that vibrates inside me yearns for the day that would be different. 

The monotony, the pain, the work, the sorrow… I ache for it all to be for something. 

I fear the day I consider that my life was for nothing… as we all do. 

But my words are my own form of sedition…. against all things and for everything. 

My hope is what drives the fire and let’s the ashes burn. 

-Till next time! 

An Anecdote

We are 65% water 16% straight fat

19% Other and those are straight facts

There is no measurement for ideals

No measurement for compassion

No way to stitch inside us our likes our passions

No way to tell our favorites from the dark matter 

living inside our skulls. Hidden away to be kept safe

If we only idolize what we can see 

and we can’t surmise our beliefs from our beating hearts

does it exist, or even matter? In this era of mechanical love
Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think about this poem in the comments below. 

– Till next time! 

Something’s Off 


Here yeee here yeee 

All who enter here shall never return 
Come close come close taste my medicine 

Give yourself a chance to close your eyes forever 
This mirror is the most striking mirror in the world 

Once you look inside it you can never look anywhere else
Take some seeds and plant them 

When they grow stay away or dare to be eaten 
If you wear this ring don’t you dare take it off 

For if you do misfortune will befall you, but so long as you wear it all is well
Want to be happy all the time!? Try permasmile! Put it on your teeth and let the happiness flow.

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Let’s Talk


Talk to the lady at the right of you 

She will tell you what you need to know 

I’m not joking seriously talk to her…. 

maybe you would learn something for once

Hearing and listening are two very different things 

Everyone hears mostly everything 

But it’s easy to set your mode to basic where 

time and vibration weave in and out

So listen to me and to talk to the woman on your right side

Really talk 

Nothing’s worse then small talk 

How’s the weather today? Isn’t wonderful… it’s 100 degrees we are both drenched, but isn’t it beautiful? How are you? I’m fine. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. Bye bye. 

No. The weather outside is not nice.  I am not feeling ok. Nice to meet you? I don’t know you… I don’t know what to think about you and I never will with all this machine pleasent talk. Bye? 

Let’s get real with each other. Let’s make it ok to be open. Let’s not feel shame about our hardship, because I can guarantee everyone has or going through something. Let our connection twine deeper. Don’t let ok just be ok. 

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little poem. It was a fun little thing to write. Let me know your thoughts down in the comments. 

-Till next time!