A Personal Throwback: A Chapter from My First Book

It feels like forever ago since I finished my first book Confessions of a Teenage Writer and as proud as I am of it, I have very little hope of getting this one published. However, if your interested in reading a lot of the rest of it check it out on my old and sadly dead wattpad here.

This book is all about writing and my struggles and experiences with it. It actually wasn’t that long ago that I finished it, but now that I look back on it there are so many things I wish to change, but what never changes is the pride. I promised myself to finish the first draft of it before I got out of high school and I did and now after leaving it alone for so long, I know I have a lot of work to do to polish it. 

However, I wanted to share one of my favorite chapters because it affects me every single day…. 

Shower Ideas 

Why is it that you get your best ideas in the one place you can’t write them down? The shower. 

It is like this sickness that you can never get rid of. Every time you get under the drops of the water your mind becomes plagued with so many ideas it is ridiculous. You wish that you had a waterproof pen and paper so that you could write them all down. Especially when you know that by the time you get out of the shower the ideas turn into a big pile of forgotten dust. 
You may be able to piece together a few pieces of the puzzle from the dust, but never the full picture and that infuriates you. You feel as that no matter what those ideas are meant to slip through your mind like sand through your fingers. The more you think that you remember them the more that the ideas slip away until even the dust dissipates into nothingness. 
You wish that there could be some way to take all the ideas that come to you from the watery place that is your shower and put them in a container that will keep them forever safe so that you may not forget them. I mean technology has progressed so quickly these days that someone should have come up with a waterproof journal right?

The worst is when you are in the shower and you have been through a lot of writers block that you haven’t been able to get out of and suddenly you have a breakthrough and it just so happens to be in the one place you can’t write it down. 
Once you step out the ideas seem to vanish into thin air and you feel like cookie monster in a world were no cookies exist. 

Getting ideas in the shower is a conundrum that I know will plague me for as long as I live. I am thinking of resorting to taking baths and having a notebook at the ready for the inevitable flow of ideas that will ensue as soon as I step inside my shower. 

I can imagine how many ideas that I could write if I was in the shower 24 hours at a time. I would probably be able to start and finish an entire novel that way. I have also noticed that in the shower ideas come to you in spitfires. They are so rapid and so inspiring that I sometimes wonder how those ideas even come to my head. 
The only time I get extremely happy about these showery ideas is when I can get them to stay in my forgetful brain long enough that I get to write them down. When that happens I feel like doing a minnie victory dance. In fact, I have on occasion, done those victory dances when I am blessed with the honor of remembering an idea.

Love your shower, Write things down, and get a waterproof journal.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this post. Even this chapter of my book feels like it needs a lot of work, but still I feel a lot of love in my heart for my little book baby. Let me know your thoughts and if you have any suggestions or ideas about what to do with the book! 

*disclaimer* I’m pretty sure I made the cover with a copyright image. This cover is only temporary and I hope to have a new one made in the future. Let me know if you know of anyone who could help me with it. 

-Till next time! 

Forever Ado

Forever Ado

You cause my pain 

A hole in my heart 

I wish to be whisked away 
You put on a mask 

Of kindness and good

Then you stab my gut 

And smile as you do 
You pretend you don’t see

The hurt in my eyes 

My cries for help 

Or the tears that fall 
Your lies are a web 

That suffocates your life

You know what you do 

Then you turn a blind eye 
Why do you patronize me?

Why do you haunt me so?

Why do you laugh in my face?

Why can’t you simply leave me alone?
I wish to be free of the pain 

To be free of you

To live my life 

And be myself 
Let me go!

Let me break from my bonds!

Cut the chains! 

Tear the ropes!
That is all I ever ask 

Is for freedom in this life

Freedom for love 

And freedom to live my life.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this piece. It’s a bit darker than what you all mostly see from me, but I wrote it a long time ago and felt compelled to do a sort of throw back post.  Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

-Till next time!