I really don’t know why I wanted to discuss this right now. Maybe, it’s mostly just so I can remember that I have made progress in my life even if technically looks pretty similar to what it was only a year ago.
I have big dreams for my life. I want to be an author and share stories with anyone willing to read them with the hopes that my stories would effect someone’s life the way stories have affected my life.
One of my biggest issues has been wanting to do everything all at once and not making things manageable for myself. I have a tendency to want it all. The success, the many finished books in my back poker, the “perfect” relationship (mind you my definition of perfect in this case is pretty imperfect, but explaining this would take way too long.. mostly I just want to have a relationship where someone works side by side with me and we both support each other), to have my family relationship to be good, to feel good in my own skin, to be fluent in a second language.. and the list goes on. There are so many goals I have for myself and chasing after all of them causes me to burn out more often then not.
Life has thrown many a wrench in my life and from this challenges I’ve learned to slow the hell down. I don’t know how long I have on this earth and it’s part of the reason I feel the need to move quickly at times, but it causes me to want to jump to the end of things instead of enjoying every step of every part of my journey. It’s so important to take the time to put your full attention to each step of something and not just the beginning and the end. Sometimes grinding is necessary. Sometimes, rest is necessary. Giving the time needed for each part of something will make a better whole in the long run.
But, the most important thing of all is to remember to truly live your life and not get into the habit of just existing. Honestly, it’s the reason I never started freelancing, because even if I do believe it might be a lucrative venture for me in the long run.. writing about stuff I don’t care for isn’t something I ever want to do. However, I have a delightful announcement that I’m going to make at a later date that is a venture that I’m proud to begin.
I feel like I’ve touched on something of this from my life Update post, but with my home situation being what it is, I’ve learned a level of patience that I never thought I’d learn. My level to get annoyed by something has increased dramatically. My ability to understand has increased dramatically. The amount it takes before stress gets me to break down has increased. Even my tolerance for my own failings and my patience with myself has increased a ton. When I think about where I am now from where I was I feel like I’ve evolved from Mew to Mew 2.
As far as lessons from blogging, I’ve learned when to take breaks. I’ve learned also to plan things out, but also to write whatever I want when I want. I know that if I structure things too much I end up getting bored and that’s not what I want to happen with something I love doing so much. I try not to plan posts more then a day ahead. I may have types of posts and set projects, but when they go up is kept as loose as possible.
However, one of the saddest lessons I’ve had to learn has been not to post about what I plan to do.. meaning TBR’s or saying I’m back for sure or.. I’m going to write this much for this long.. it usually just doesn’t work out. Proclaiming a certain level of productivity doesn’t work. I mean sometimes it does, but a lot of the time I just get tired of routine. It’s probably why I’ve never really completed a Nanowrimo. I try.. I say every time that this time will be the time it works out and after a few days everything comes to a hault.
Manly, the lesson I’ve learned is to chill out. To take my time. Not to rush anything. To give everything it’s own time (just like the song). To take care of myself and to have fun.
It’s all about balance and sometimes letting yourself be. It’s getting up and trying again and again and again. Forgiving yourself for past mistakes and letting yourself change. It’s accepting that perfection of any kind truly doesn’t exist and that its ok and even good to fail. It’s about accepting yourself as you are and accepting yourself as you change and letting yourself change. It’s about not letting the past prevent yourself from having a beautiful present and future. Most of all, life is about truly living and truly loving with all of you in every moment and being authentic to who you are in each moment.
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this reflective post. Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.
-Till next time!