Watching Bojack Horseman: Season 2

I have to start off by saying this show is great. As my person would say it has some of the best showing of what it is to have depression on television. Season 2 of Bojack Horseman was fantastic to watch.

This season reached some great highs and some heartbreaking lows. Happiness is an inside job and Bojack struggles to find it and does in spurts, but never for long. That’s how depression goes sometimes. Sometimes it’s hard to change a mindset that you’ve held on to for years.

The very first episode was the hardest for me to watch.

Nothing gets to me like sucky parents and the closest I’ve gotten to crying because of this show has been seeing how awful Bojack’s parents were to him. Made him feel like his existence was inherently wrong and bad and it’s no wonder he’s grown up not truly being able to find happiness, because he’d never found a good way of healing all that pain. He gave himself to alcohol and bad decisions. He’s found great success in life, but still feels like nothing will ever be good enough. It can’t be not when he can’t find the good in himself.

Bojack finally lands his dream role of Secretariat. Yet at first his want to change his attitude makes him not as suitable for the role. All along Bojack had a lot of similarity to Secretariat’s essence even if that really is a sad truth. Yet even when he’d preform at the core of who Secretariat would be, they decided to make a completely different movie, all the grit removed. Hell they didn’t even use a single bit of Bojack’s acting in the final movie, just a cgi version of him.

Yet, somehow this very different movie that has nothing to really do with Secretariat turns out ok. Yet, it says nothing of Bojack or Secretariat and I don’t really know if I’d be ok with that if I were in Bojack’s shoes.

Another huge part of season 2 of bojack is JD Salinger’s show having Mr. Peanutbutter hosting. Bojack becomes a celebrity on the first episode and shit hits the fan. It becomes about humiliating Bojack until Princess Caroline tells Bojack about Mr. Peanutbutter’s tell. That episode is one of my favorites. It gets into so many difficult topics and realities of human reaction. Bojack gets petty and makes some sucky decisions and it is what it is.

Not to mention that Bojack’s girlfriend Wanda is a very important part of season 2. She makes Bojack happy for a while, but with his focus often elsewhere it isn’t enough and his depression wins out. Wanda is a positive being. She lifts Bojack up, but Bojack doesn’t want to be lifted not really. He may have loved her for a while, but in the end he breaks her heart and instead of chasing after her he chases his past and again only finds a temporary kind of happiness.

One of the most interesting things to watch was the dynamic between Bojack and Diane. Diane was supposed to go off to Cordovia for 6 months and she does, but then she realizes that Sebastian St. Clair is full of shit and she really isn’t doing anything to help anyone so she heads home. Yet, instead of going home she stays at Bojack’s house and lies to her husband for months that she’s still in Cordovia. Yet all the while she lays around drinking with Bojack and he lets her stay there.

This of course creates tension between himself and Wanda. Wanda certainly doesn’t want her boyfriend sitting on his ass wasting away with someone he’d had love for, for hours on end. It’s then she realizes she never really knew Bojack and everything between them falls apart.

Yet I have to say my favorite high of the show was for Princess Caroline. She enters a relationship with Rutabaga and they want to have a company together. Since Rutabaga puts the company in her name when things go bad for the two of them when Rutabaga shows he’s playing around and doesn’t truly respect Caroline she gives him the finger and keeps the company for herself. I have mad respect for Caroline. She’s amazing. Love seeing such a strong feminine feline in this show.

On a whole, season 2 was amazing to watch. It had great funny moments. It showed some real friendship. It had some wonderful jokes. Some real lows. A lot of difficult subjects to delve into. It’s a masterpiece. Every single character is three dimensional and real. You care for everyone no matter how flawed. People don’t always chose the “right” thing and this show gets that and isn’t afraid to show things for what they are.

There is so much detail that goes into the art and you can screenshot any point and you could see just how much was going on. It’s so good at showing hard truths. Yet it isn’t a hopeless show. Bojack wants to be better and it shows him working on himself, but finding his inner happiness and strength seems like it may be a long battle.

One of my favorite conversations was him talking to Mr. Peanutbutter:

Mr. Peanutbutter has something that Bojack doesn’t, a feeling of self-worth and the confidence that goes with that. Nothing seems good to Bojack because he hasn’t found that yet. It’s such a powerful conversation in the show. It was incredibly well done.

I’m excited to continue on and watch season three. It’s going to be incredible. Bojack’s journey is a hard one and I want to watch it to the very end.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Ant Man: A Discussion

I never forget about a series. So, of course I’m continuing on with my Marvel series! I watched Ant Man yesterday to refresh my memory and God so I love this movie.

This movie is one of my all time favorite marvel films. Here is why:

1. This Guy:

Luis has the funniest lines in the whole film. Every single time he’s on screen it makes everything that much funnier. Plus, he shines from the very beginning talking about all the sucky things that happened while his friend was in prison, but saying he has his van.

2. This scene:

https://youtu.be/Oj2u_obs3n0

3. Everything about the film is on the border of what can and cannot be accepted as reality, but the perspectives in all the scenes are done so well that it brings you in because it looks cool. It’s artful, but at the same time still a little too out of reach.

4. Ant Dog!!!!!

I want a giant ant friend!!! No one can convince me otherwise.

5. The Daughter dynamics:

Ant man has a daughter and does everything for her. The relationship between then is very real and it’s also real in how there are tensions between him and the mom. It’s not perfect, but he loves his daughter and would do anything to redeem himself to her.

But, I also love that it mirrors Hank and Hope’s relationship:

While there is more tension here and higher stakes Hank really does love his daughter. He just feels it’s too late to repair his relationship with her.

6. The Incredible imagery:

https://youtu.be/54h7QYEkkBk

Shown best in its final battle scene linked above the perspective shots in Ant man are incredible! I love seeing something being done so uniquely. They took as many opportunities as they could to showcase perspective in really interesting ways.

7. Ant Man in its entirety:

Even without saying specifically what I love so much about this film, I enjoy the whole thing. It’s funny in its entirety, yet it’s balanced by some serious topics. The villain may be a little too cliche, but with everything else the film has to offer I don’t really care. It’s fun. It’s different. Maybe a little strange, but that’s what makes it so great.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

Autonomous: A Review

Autonomous by Annalee Newitz

My Rating: 5 stars!

Cover Rating: 10/10 I usually wouldn’t give a cover like this, this high of a rating, but after reading the novel I couldn’t think up a more perfect cover. It’s simple, yet elegant. In a way, it tells you exactly what the inside story is about. If there was one image to describe what Autonomous is it is exactly what this cover is.

Publisher: Tor Books

Publish Date: September 19th, 2017

Number of Pages: 303

Received: The Tor Book of the month for a month I don’t recall.

Purchase: Amazon

Synopsis:

When anything can be owned, how can we be free

Earth, 2144. Jack is an anti-patent scientist turned drug pirate, traversing the world in a submarine as a pharmaceutical Robin Hood, fabricating cheap scrips for poor people who can’t otherwise afford them. But her latest drug hack has left a trail of lethal overdoses as people become addicted to their work, doing repetitive tasks until they become unsafe or insane.

Hot on her trail, an unlikely pair: Eliasz, a brooding military agent, and his robotic partner, Paladin. As they race to stop information about the sinister origins of Jack’s drug from getting out, they begin to form an uncommonly close bond that neither of them fully understand.

And underlying it all is one fundamental question: Is freedom possible in a culture where everything, even people, can be owned?

Opening Sentence: “The student wouldn’t stop doing her homework, and it was going to kill her.”

Musings:

Autonomous is a smart novel. In every sense of the word. It’s language is very scientifically based, yet not in a way that is overly complicated. It’s well-balanced and fun to read. Yet, it’s subject matter is often serious. This is one of the first adult novels I’ve read. I was not disappointed. It’s one of the most intriguing as Sci-fi novels I’ve ever read.

What I Loved:

The relationships. The relationships in this novel are more then just interesting they are eye-opening. In a world where bots and humans co-exist some taboo relationships were bound to happen and I enjoyed reading about what that would look like. Also, I love that Jack is casually bi-sexual. I love seeing books have people represented as exactly who they are and it being accepted. No one cares about Jack’s sexuality and I feel like that’s how things should be.

It’s really well structured. I have not geeked out on the structure of a novel in a long time. It’s not something I typically even notice so much, but Autonomous has this balance of storylines past and present with so many things going on, but not too much, but all of it is interesting. Everything is important in the novel. There is no filler. In a sci-fi this is a magical thing that I have not experienced before.

No one is truly the good guy. Sure, everyone thinks they are, but no one is totally clean of doing something wrong. The whole point of Jack’s quest is to right a wrong that affected over a hundred people’s lives in a very negative way. Except she still reads off as a hero. But, in the end to those effected by what she did, their lives were ruined. It wasn’t completely her fault, but to those families I don’t think it would matter.

Talk about anthropomorphizing bots. Humans tend to want to humanize everything. I know I do it when I see my dog have emotional responses to things we do. As well as her very unique personality. It is very human. Yet you can’t fully give a human identity to an animal, but with something that looks so human-like? The lines blur. It was super interesting to read about.

The actual political system. The government system in this novel is not the biggest part of the novel, but it is very much there. There are rules and regulations that very much effect the plot. Also an indenture system that blurs the lines between what it is to be human. Where bots can be autonomous and humans can be indentured slaves. It’s incredibly interesting.

All in all:

Not much more can be said without spoiling this beauty of a novel. It’s gorgeously written. Filled with incredible characters. Very human situations. Pirates and parties and addiction and injustice. So much substance with every turn of the page. Autonomous is well worth the read.

About the Author:

Annalee Newitz writes science fiction and nonfiction. They are the author of the novels The Future of Another Timeline, and Autonomous, which won the Lambda Literary Award. As a science journalist, they are a contributing opinion writer for the New York Times, and have a monthly column in New Scientist. They have published in The Washington Post, Slate, Popular Science, Ars Technica, The New Yorker, and The Atlantic, among others. They are also the co-host of the Hugo Award-winning podcast Our Opinions Are Correct. Previously, they were the founder of io9, and served as the editor-in-chief of Gizmodo.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter!

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

January 2020 Goals

I have very few goals for this month and all are pretty straightforward, but the biggest and the main one is to have as much fun as possible. Whatever I’m doing, I’m just going to have fun. I’ve learned how to do this at work and everywhere I go and my happiness has improved so much because of it.

My other goals are

1. To save at least $20 towards buying a fold out piano because I want to learn to play piano

2. To write 10,000 words towards a writing project.

3. To learn some sort of dance choreography/ tutting

That’s it. Everything else is just to have fun. I don’t know what it’s going to look like. I don’t really mind what form it takes. I just want to start off my 2020 having fun.

I’m so excited for the new year! It’s going to be fantastic. I’m smiling now as I write this. I have this feeling in my bones that this year is going to be just wonderful. I can’t wait!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! This post is a day late. I got a little sidetracked yesterday, but I hope you all enjoyed it anyway! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

My Thoughts on 2019

Words cannot express how happy I am with where I am in life right now. 2019 started off absolutely terribly. I was not in a good mental health state. I hope was hurting deeply and all I wanted was happiness for myself and everyone involved in the situation that occurred then.

However, because that occurred and because I got so upset with the fact that all I wanted was to feel joy and that I wanted to feel that alongside the people that I love and that I wasn’t living that at the time it allowed me to choose differently for myself. It allowed me to see myself for who I really am. Someone who loves so incredibly deeply and with every inch of her soul. Something that meant that I knew what it was to love unconditionally and that I needed to turn that love inward so that I could live that in my everyday life.

This year was defined by that decision. It took so many inward conversations. So much patience for myself. So much self-soothing and self-care. Then, day after day one improvement became several and it grew and grew to where I no longer felt depression or anxiety period. I gently soothed my depression and anxiety out of existence.

Needless to say I am so proud of myself. So proud of this reality I am now living. One where I have made my joy and my relationship with myself to be the number one most important thing in my life. That by doing so I have created in myself a joyous person all the time. So much so that it is noticeable by those around me.

Doing this allows me to be the wholeness that I am with all who I am with. It lets everyone off the hook of having to be a certain way or do a certain thing in order for me to be happy. I just am. It is the gift I will give to every friend I have. Every coworker and every family member. It will be the gift I give to my significant other in the future. The gift of me taking responsibility for creating my own joy and following it and not making anyone be my excuse to not be happy.

One of my deepest wishes for all human beings is for everyone to experience the fullness of joy that they possibly can for themselves. It is why I have started walking this path of my own joy. Because it would be the greatest gift I could give to myself and everyone in my life would benefit from it.

It is something that is never done, because there is always more and more fun to be had and more and more fun ready to be realized, but to have realized this by the end of the year and to have changed so deeply from it is incredible to me.

I can’t say how much I’ve experienced more fun and more good things just from appreciating every moment of fun and everything that brings me joy in the moment they are there. 2019 has been the set up for what I know will be the best year of my life in 2020. I have no idea what it will look like or what will be in store, but I know that my life is going to continue to change and I can’t wait to embrace it!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

Books of Christmas Past

Last year, I did not receive any books for Christmas. Typically this boat talks about just that, but last year was a tough Christmas for me, but all that happened then has turned into a blessing for me.

See I was in no position to even really feel enjoyment with books or much of anything in general. The contrast to how I feel now in this moment is incredible. I have changed so much this year and I achieved the ultimate goal that I’ve had for the entirety of my life. Which is to no longer have depression or anxiety way on me. Especially the last three months, I’ve felt free of any sort of Depression or Anxiety.

I’m at a point where I’m happy all the time. I find enjoyment everywhere and life is wonderful all the time for me. After my birthday, I set out to write the best things that happened each day and I was so surprised and delighted to find these past 8 days have been absolutely incredible! I look back on this week and I think that I’d want to fill my life with as many wonderful and unique moments every single day into the future. It’s been incredible.

Mainly, what has changed is my beliefs about life. Which sounds bigger then it really is. I’ve just discovered that I can and should be responsible for my own happiness and that I’m good at it. I’m good at keeping myself happy. I’m good at finding things to think about that bring me joy. I’m good at allowing myself the things that create greater joy in my life. It’s an incredible thing.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas Eve! Merry Christmas everyone!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

Today Was My Birthday! 🎈

Today I turned 21! Why I feel weird about it I’m not exactly sure. Maybe, I just being technically considered an official adult when I have the humor and sarcasm of a 14 year old boy. Or the fact that being 21 means I can buy alcohol and I could care less about that.

I don’t know. On one hand I’m in the amazing place in my life. I can feel so deeply that I’m about to start seeing some amazing things happen in my life and yet another part of me just wants to be a kid. Not that being an adult means that you have to discard all childish things. I’m never going to give up the lightness of joy I feel when I connect to the childish things of life.

Maybe it’s just my impression of being 21 and what being an adult means. In reality, I can make it whatever I want. Which is what I am going to do. So I’m going to forget about all the things about being 21 I don’t really care about and define it for myself.

As a 21 year old I’m going to have the most fun I’ve ever had in my life.

This last year being 20 I spent a majority well, all of that time cleaning up my mental health. I literally don’t have depression or anxiety anymore. It’s unreal. So, I’m proud as heck of 20 year old me. I got myself through the darkest most scared parts of my mind and gently coaxed it into being happy pretty much all of the time. Which is honestly, the best present I’ve ever given myself ever. I didn’t kick depressions ass. I soothed depressions heart. I soothed it out of existence and that’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever done ever.

So that means 21 year old me gets to enjoy herself. She gets to live out one of the happiest years of life so far (I intend to continue the increased happy years). She gets to enjoy waking up being excited about the day. She gets to know that everything is always working out for her. She gets to feel good about herself. She gets to experiment with makeup and expressing herself because she finds it fun. She gets to have so much fun.

I am so excited for this next year in my life. I have evolved so much and I feel so much trust in myself and in the universe and I have this feeling, this inner knowing, that this next year is going to be filled with so much more to be joyous about then I can imagine! Every moment I am embodying more and more to be the woman that I desire to be. So whatever happens this year I’m ready.

I had fun today. I may have had to work, but I had a wonderful breakfast and an awesome vanilla latte and my mom actually surprised me with a gift of nail polish and an eyeshadow as I’ve been interested in playing with makeup recently and I always wear nail polish. I know I’m probably not going to wear it everyday. I just want to have fun with it and I feel that’s worth exploring.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

What Christmas Means to Me

Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. It’s magic and joyous and kind. It’s as much the gifts you get as the gifts you give, yet as I’ve gotten old enough to go out and buy my own gifts for people, it’s the look on someone’s face when I give them something they really love that puts the biggest smile on my face.

Everyone on this earth wants to feel joy and happiness and to feel cared for. Christmas is the time where I really feel and see that all around me.

Then there is the romantic parts of it. Mistletoe and ice skating dates, drinking egg nog or a peppermint mocha with someone your getting to know, feeling that romantic pull in your heart. It’s a beautiful thing and it makes me feel excited, because I’ve never experienced that in person before and love during the holidays feels like it’s sprinkled with that little extra spice of magic.

People change during this time of year. There is more kindness. More remembering that we really are all in this life together and we are all deserving of being treated well. A lot of people donate time to feeding the homeless and more people give a little extra to those in need. More people are willing to give the benefit of the doubt and understand that mistakes are human.

This time of year is special. The decorations all around are gorgeous. There is a festive spirit you can feel in the energy of the people around you. I’ve seen so many guys wearing Christmas sweaters this year… so so many. More then the girls and I thought to myself, “the men really came through in terms of spirit this year and I want to hug every single one wearing one of those sweaters because I’m so proud. All of the women too while I’m at it. The Christmas cheer ends nowhere in my heart.”

But, what I’m most happy to say here is that this has been my favorite Christmas so far. It’s been happier then any other Christmas I’ve had and it’s because I’m happier now then I’ve ever been. Every single day of my life recently has been so joyful and full of life that it baffles me. I’m treating myself the way I always deserved to be treated. I follow my joy at all times. I follow my excitement at all times. Everything is working out for me. I’ve never appreciated myself or life in general more.

This Christmas feels so rich. Rich in happy moments with my family. Rich in dancing. Rich in singing until I got my annual sinus issues and even that hasn’t been bad at all. I’ve never had such a good time while my nose and throat were acting up in my entire life. I’m so deliriously and wonderfully happy and I know there is no end to it in sight. I know that my life is just going to get better and better. There is so much good to experience. So much music to fall in love with. So many books to read and movies to watch. So much to laugh about. I feel so blessed this Christmas and I know it’s a feeling I will have for the rest of my life.

Christmas is like all the best parts of life to me. I can only explain it as these visions of beautiful moments in my head. Moments like when I gave the item in my hand to a woman who was looking to buy that item and didn’t know where to find it. Then I just went back and got another one to buy myself. Moments like one of the guys that work as a janitor taking out the trash from my store so I didn’t have to do it myself. Then another time me holding the door open for the same guy when I was on my way to storage (which he didn’t want to accept at first.. which made my eyes roll, but I digress). Moments like my sister tickling me when I was trying to get her to fist bump my hand and us both ending up laughing tell we started coughing because it was all too much. Moments like picking out a free ornament from World Market with my family and finding the most beautiful animal ornaments to hang on the tree.

Christmas is a beautiful time of year. Filled with the taste of peppermint and lots of music and cheer. I love it with every fiber of my being and I appreciate so much Christmas this and every year.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

Till next time!

A Coffee Kickback/ Review: Schism

This weekend has been wonderful. I woke up Saturday morning made some breakfast while listening to Christmas music. Then after breakfast I had some tea and read Schism for about two hours. After that I watched Christmas movies while drinking some coffee with my mom and my sister.

I watched “The Holiday Calendar” and “Holiday in the Wild” and well as “Holiday Rush”. Overall, a Christmas extravaganza. It was the most relaxed and myself I had been in a long time. It reminded me that you can make any day special and do whatever it is that would bring you the most joy at life the spur of the moment.

Christmastime this year has really showed me to enjoy every moment as well as the unfolding is happening. Because nothing is ever done, not really. Life is constant movement and I’m so ready to enjoy and dance in it again. Which is exactly what I’ve been doing recently. So much so that I have noticed that I no longer find a trace of depression or anxiety anywhere at all. I am so free and from that place of freedom I know that the world will be my oyster and I can’t wait to see what else unfolds.

On to the review!

Schism by Britt Holewinski

My Rating: 3/5

Cover Rating: 4/10 it’s not the best in my opinion. It fits the setting and the genre, but I feel like they could have done something so much cooler. It kinda looks like they just kinda photoshopped a few things together that in some basic way fit the story and that doesn’t really do it for me.

Publisher: Delirious Pixie

Publish Date: March 15th, 2016

Number of Pages: 264

Received: goodreads giveaway

Purchase: Amazon

Synopsis:

“My name is Andrea Christensen. I’m one of the oldest oldest people in the world.”

The first book in a new YA, dystopian trilogy, SCHISM is a story of survival, of good versus evil, and of constructing a future with only memories of childhood.

A virus, created by the smartest minds in the United States government, which is meant to target male adults in times of war, is accidentally released before testing is complete. Within weeks six billion people are eliminated from the world. The only survivors are prepubescent children.

Five years after this catastrophic event, a young girl named Andy Christensen and her two friends are forced to leave their home in Bermuda and return to the North American continent. There, they discover that America is wild and chaotic, and people have instituted a “survival of the fittest” mentality. Andy and her friends soon band together with fellow survivors in search for a new place to call home.”

Opening Sentence: “The two young men moved quickly under the cover of night, the summer air thick with humidity.”

Musings:

Schism is post-apocalyptic in a very dark way. It really paints a negative picture of human beings being at there worst most of the time and the few that are good that are trying to make the best of it all. People are raping and human trafficking and murdering all over the place.

Not only that but it’s kids doing all these things to other kids because all the adults were killed by a virus. It’s utter chaos. Nowhere is safe. There’s drug trading and just a whole lot of awful things and as smart as the kids are the pieces of hope are few and far between.

What I liked:

The pacing. There was always something happening and the story moves pretty fast. There is always something shocking to wonder at.

The characterization. Everyone was pretty distinct and they all had their own motivations for acting and I really enjoyed that.

Not too unlikely of a scenario. I want to believe that if this really happened that all the kids of the world would behave this terribly, but honestly I don’t really know. I want to hope humanity would do better, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the reality.

The idea itself. I like an interesting concept and this sure was unique. It was an exploration of what could be.

All in all:

An interesting and intense novel. I had my issues with it, but overall it was enjoyable read.

About the Author:

I was born in Boston, but moved when I was less than a year old. I lived all over the country growing up, so I had to adapt and learn to make new friends quickly. I was a gymnast at a highly competitive level until I was 15. Then I focused more on school, especially math and science because I wanted to become an astronaut.

After high school, I went to the University of Notre Dame in South Bend, Indiana, where I studied mechanical engineering. I graduated in 2000, and attended graduate school at Pennsylvania State University. After getting my master’s degree, also in mechanical engineering, I went to work for the CIA shortly after 9/11. I travelled all over the world for my job, including 3 years in the Middle East. I decided to leave the Agency after 14 years to focus on writing, which is where I am today!

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

Till next time!

Thanksgiving Gratitude Post

This year Thanksgiving feels different to me. I used to not care for it so much because I wasn’t always where I wanted to be for the holiday and it would always be awkward and with food I never cared for. This year. This year I realize I am where I want to be.

I’m at a time in my life where I’m excited. Excited about the future. Excited about all the amazing things that have seem to start pouring into my life lately. I’ve been feeling good far more often and my perception on life has changed immensely.

Also, the food this year was great! I enjoyed all of it and that’s the first time I’ve ever felt that. I find that a lot of traditional thanksgiving food is just not for me.

On another note, I feel deeply that I’m on the precipice of something big in my life changing. Something beautiful and happy. It’s been so strong in my mind for the past couple of months and with each passing day I feel it stronger still.

Maybe it’s not even one thing in my life that I feel is on the edge of changing. I once again feel so deeply myself more and more and I’m following my joy. This has lead me to writing again. It’s lead me to trying out makeup for the fun of it. It’s lead me to taking better care of my body and feeling good about what I wear and my body in general. It’s lead me to rest free on days I feel compelled to without judgement. I feel free and knowing that I did that for myself is so mind blowing and wonderful to me.

I know what it’s like to go through a deep depression. I know what thought spiraling yourself into a hole feels like. To have loved myself enough to free myself of that and feel fucking amazing every day is incredible. I’m so proud of the woman I have become. Someone who honors herself. Someone who cares about herself enough to let go of thoughts that bring her sadness and to start focusing on all the good that life has to offer. I did that. I’m not in the trenches fighting a war with my own mind anymore. I’m happy. If that’s not something to be grateful for then I don’t know what is.

Then, there’s the basic things I’m grateful for. Great music to dance to. That video of any animal on my feed. A great book to read. Seeing people happy and laughing with one another. Seeing random acts of kindness. Doing something that brings someone else a moment of joy. Having a place to sleep, eat, and shower at. Having a job. The coffee I’m drinking now at 12:24 am even though it is probably way too late for coffee. Having a tooth brush and toilet paper. Having the phone I’m typing on right now.

I’m in a place in my life of extreme gratitude. 2019 for me has been a year of learning and becoming the kind of woman I always wanted to be. It’s been a year of overcoming and going from barely just existing for a while to truly thriving. But most of all from living in fear to taking that fear and blowing it up in flames and replacing it all with things to be joyous about. Going from worrying about if I even deserve happiness to knowing I deserve the best of all that is. So much so that I am fully responsible for my own joy and happiness regardless of what is happening in my life.

I have transformed this year. If nothing else that’s the best gift I’ve ever given to myself.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! What are you grateful for?

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!