Life Update: Today Was A Terrible Day


Today was a day that simply sucked. The past few months have been very up and down but never were at the level of today’s terribleness and I honestly don’t know what to do with myself after today. 

My life has always been a complicated one. I was born to a mother that couldn’t raise me, adopted by a grandmother on my dad’s side that frankly should have never been a mother, yet raised all my life from a baby to a family unrelated to me, but became the people who loved me and the ones I now call my God family, my true family. 

Over the past 18 years I have had more run-ins with my grandmother then I could count and I have never once had 10 minutes in her presence without her threatening or yelling at me. Our relationship was always nonexistent. I have lived with my God family all my life and have only ever visited my grandmother, but that’s never stopped her from finding ways to emotionally attack me. 

It sucks that I can’t say I’m suprised about what happened today. Supposedly someone stole the plates from my car but were caught and the police had the person arrested. The police took the plates to the station and my God family and I drove to go pick it up. Low and behold my grandmother was there (She had been calling and causing commotion all day) and she got in my God moms face yelled at her asked for the keys which my God mom gave to her and headed outside to where I was sitting in the car with my God dad reading a book. My grandmother (who also brought a long time friend with her and her friends children with her) proceeded to say she was going to take the car. When I got out of the car and she went in my face saying if I wasn’t going to speak to her for a minute, I choose not to anwer and my God family and I (my God mom and dad both elderly and my God sister) started a four hour journey to walk all the way home. (Even though my grandmother said she would drive us back there was no way we were not going to walk because if I went in that car there would be a yelling fest of the century and I was too angry to get in a car with someone that literally just took away the only car my God family and I had. (That would be like getting in the car with someone who just knifed you in the gut). 

Honestly, there is way way more to this story as it is also related to more then 18 years of being hurt by the same woman, but honestly I could write a book about my history and it would suck because this episode while the worst recently isn’t the worst of all time. 

I’m upset. I’m angry. I’m feeling emotionally drained and sad. I’m hurting and I fear that this is only the beginning of worse things. I generally try to post positivity on here, but this was such an insane thing that I needed to share or else risk emotional implosion. 

If you are religious your prayers are appreciated. If you are not your good will is also appreciated. However, the one thing I really need right now is happy thoughts. So send me a link to something that made you laugh or a picture of a cute animal or anything happy and animal related really. Knowing that I can still smile in the face of all this mess is a comfort to me and knowing that I’m smiling at something you have also smiled at is a true blessing and a comfort. 

Thank you all for taking the time to read this. I’m terribly sorry that this isn’t my usual positive Bookish post. I almost didn’t post anything at all, but I don’t think I could do that. This blog keeps me sane and your comments always make me smile. 

-Till next time.

The Book Raven Recommends #3


Every once in a while I’m in the mood for some good old fashion spooks, but very rarely do I pick up a spooky book, however this book I’m now going to recommend to all of you is one of those spooky reads I absolutely adored. 

I’m talking about Dawn Kurtagich’s The Dead House. 

Part-psychological thriller, part-urban legend, this is an unsettling narrative made up of diary entries, interview transcripts, film footage transcripts and medical notes. Twenty-five years ago, Elmbridge High burned down. Three people were killed and one pupil, Carly Johnson, disappeared. Now a diary has been found in the ruins of the school. The diary belongs to Kaitlyn Johnson, Carly’s identical twin sister. But Carly didn’t have a twin . . . 
Re-opened police records, psychiatric reports, transcripts of video footage and fragments of diary reveal a web of deceit and intrigue, violence and murder, raising a whole lot more questions than it answers.
Who was Kaitlyn and why did she only appear at night? Did she really exist or was she a figment of a disturbed mind? What were the illicit rituals taking place at the school? And just what did happen at Elmbridge in the events leading up to ‘the Johnson Incident’?
Chilling, creepy and utterly compelling, THE DEAD HOUSE is one of those very special books that finds all the dark places in your imagination, and haunts you long after you’ve finished reading. 

I first picked up The Dead House after being drawn in by that creepalicious cover and the unconventional way it was written which oddly enough reminded me of a book I read when I was in elementary school that was a spooky read that had this mystery interactive element to it where you could watch actual videos referenced in the story line that admittedly scared me to death. I’m so mad that I don’t remember the name of the book as I lost it in a move, but I do recall it being my introduction to scary stories and books as a genre. 

Anywho, I recommend The Dead House because it is one of those electrifying reads that you never know what to expect from and the story twists into something that leaves you with chills and that’s what I loved about it. It’s dark and twisted and in some ways sad and it leaves you not knowing how to feel. In all those ways I adored it and I hope that you would read this one too!

Thanks for reading! If any of you find that childhood book I was talking about to be familiar to you let me know the title. Anyway, I have just recommended a book to you and I really want to know, What book would you recommend me to read? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments. 

-Till next time!

Here We Are: Feminism For The Real World: A Review 

Here We Are Feminism For The Real World edited by Kelly Jensen


My Rating: 5 Feminist Stars! 

Publisher: Algonquin Young Readers

Published: January 24, 2017

Recieved: A personalized signed copy from the editor Kelly Jensen via a Giveaway. 

Purchase: Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Book Depository

LET’S GET THE FEMINIST PARTY STARTED! 
Have you ever wanted to be a superheroine? Join a fandom? Create the perfect empowering playlist? Understand exactly what it means to be a feminist in the twenty-first century? You’ve come to the right place. 
Forty-four writers, dancers, actors, and artists contribute essays, lists, poems, comics, and illustrations about everything from body positivity to romance to gender identity to intersectionality to the greatest girl friendships in fiction. Together, they share diverse perspectives on and insights into what feminism means and what it looks like. Come on in, turn the pages, and be inspired to find your own path to feminism by the awesome individuals in Here We Are. 
Welcome to one of the most life-changing parties around!

Musings: 

Wow was this a powerful book. Some of it was affirming the beliefs I already had. However, all of them were stories that had an affect on my heart. Yet there were a select few that moved me to tears and outrage and those were the ones that changed me. 

The first essay to make me cry was The Big Blue Ocean and My Big Fat Body by Angie ManFredi (who is now my new hero). It brought to mind my most deep seated insicurity the size of my body and smashed everything I had thought to be true about it. Angie’s message was incredibly positive yet I felt myself go through a shock as I read her words. Basically she goes on to say that she spent so much time in her life to get to a point where she realized that fat is a word that was neither good nor bad but simply described how her body was made. She has a lot of fat on her body so when she describes herself she uses that word because as ugly as society has made that word for her it is simply a state of being. Instead of being ugly fat becomes neutral even normal striped away of all negative connotations and the change in how the word is seen is how she learned to be comfortable in her own skin. I am not comfortable in my own skin. I’m 5’6 and around 156 pounds and while I’m not terribly large there are times where I look at myself in the mirror and I am disgusted. This essay made me cry because as much as I don’t like to think about how negatively I see myself I know that I need to work to see myself in a better life. To look at my generous behind and my not so flat stomach and say I am confident and beautiful because I am me. I define who I am and how I choose to see myself. I may have fat, but that fat is neither good nor bad but just is. If I want to feel beautiful then I must believe I am beautiful now and love the body that has carried me through my 18 years (the same body that will carry me through the rest of my life) to love that body and take care of it. Through all this thought I sobbed, because I haven’t been good to my body and because I have thought so negitively about my life and for all the pain I’ve caused myself through the years and all the times I’ve tried something on I thought was pretty and looked myself in the mirror and thought that it could never look pretty on me. I cried and new armor formed from those tears. 

I was outraged when I learned about a practice in some countries and cultures called FGM or Female Genital Mutliation. Where a female is mutilated so she could never feel pleasure during sex (sentencing the woman to a lifetime of painful sex) to be seen as more attractive and “pure” to a future husband. I had no idea that this was a thing and I am deeply hurt by it. I can’t imagine what that must be like. To be made into an instrument for a man to strum while you are in pain all the while with no remorse. This is a torture that breaks my heart. 

Then there was a piece by a Muslim women who said that she could never be seen as a feminist (although she considered herself a feminist) because of her culture and her hijab. It was at her words I was crying again, because it pointed out the flaws of a movement meant to raise up equality no matter who you are or what you believe and this women is cast out because her religion makes it so she could never be accepted as a “true feminist” and then I was angry crying again. 

So here and now I will declare myself feminist. A feminist who accepts everyone as equal regardless of color of skin, belief, sexuality, gender, or any other bias society creates. All people were created to be equal and all deserve equal rights. As an intersectional feminist I believe that all our fights are valid and that we must be aware of how we act and how we choose to raise up some people but shame others. To be aware to create change and to fight the dam good fight. 

Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed this review! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments. I hope for all of you to read this book and to continue fighting for your beliefs. 

-Till next time! 

My Strange Addiction


I breathe in your colors, the stars that create the constellation of your soul

Then I exhale you in a smoky mixture that intwines the essence of me with the essence of you 

A single touch collides changing us both until we can learn to coincide 

My eyes do not see how our jagged edges cut and tear one another apart 

To me your a sugar candy melting poison on my toungue 

but as I lay dying I’m high off of your sweet decaying plum

If I could stay on that blissful ignorant cloud of you all my life I would 

The not knowing is perfect cause then I see you perfect and there’s no reason for me to want to leave you cause that would be putting my needs before my wants and ohh how I want you 

So I sit here and breathe you in and exhale you and breathe you in again just to taste your licorice heroine scent that keeps me in my bliss my bliss my bliss

Thank you for reading! I had a lot of fun with this poem. I honestly have no idea where this burst from, but I like it so I had to share it! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments!

-Tiana Wolfe 

My Favorite Bookish Quotes!


I love books and I love quotes so it is not much of a surprise that my favorite kinds of quotes are about books. So without further ado, here are some of my favorite bookish quotes!

All images are found on the google web. I do not own any of them. 



Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed these awesome quotes and I hope that you would let me know which ones were your favorites down in the comments! 

-Till next time!

To All Writers


Dear lovely fellow writer,

You have probably read more books then you could remember. You probably have read books that resonated with your soul. Books that have caused you to be in awe. Books that you have read over and over because they were just so good. Books that you learn something new about every time you read it. Books that you love. 
The amazing thing is all books had to be written. Someone sat down and thought up a world with characters that have fascinated you. Someone that is no different from you. Just an ordinary person. Ordinary yet extraordinary. 
Writers come from all sorts of backgrounds and walks of life. Yet every single one of them has a story to tell or better yet stories to tell. Things that need to be written down so that generations to come could read it. Stories that invaded their minds and yelled and screamed at them to be written. Stories that when they were first written were awkward and unpolished. That through the time and care of the writer became amazing examples of the written word. 
Writers are truly amazing human beings whom take a lot of time out of their days just hammering out words to construct a story. Writing is never easy. It takes a lot of hard work, dedication, and just growing up. Writing is something that requires you to grow as a human being and discover who you are. Writing is intimately connected to your soul. It is an expression of who you are and what you dream of. A lot of the time quite literally what you dream of. 
Writing requires you to care about what you write about and to love it. To want to care for it and lead it on its path to becoming the best version of itself. It is carrying out an initial idea and fleshing it out till it becomes this beautiful and unique story. The only way to write a story exactly like another’s is through copy and paste. Let your ideas shine and become what they are meant to be. 
Good writing isn’t a natural diamond in the ruff, but creating a diamond from the ruff. It takes a lot of chiseling and mixing things up, but the ending product is always worth it. 
To all writers I want to say that you are the reason I live the happy life I love. Your books put a smile on my face and excitement in my heart. Being able to be the kind of person that sits themselves down to write something even if it might be terrible at first is such an admirable quality. Every single author out there is such a great mentor for me. You are all the kinds of light I aspire to be. 

Thank you for reading! This is another excerpt from my old wattpad novel, but also something I wanted to share for how much I appreciate authors. They truly are special little gems. 

Opening Lines From My TBR


The first thing you are drawn to when you begin a story is the opening line. Often that line can make or break weather you want to read a book or not. I wanted to share opening lines from books on my shelves I haven’t read yet to see if they actually make me want to read that book as of right now. 

Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore 


Prolouge 

When he grabs Mama’s wrist and yanks her toward the wall hanging like that, it must hurt. 

Freeks by Amanda Hocking


Prolouge 

 Behind me, the branches and trees crunched and snapped as the creature tore through them. 

And I Darken by Kiersten White 


Chapter 1

Vlad Dracul’s heavy brow descended like a storm when the doctor informed him that his wife had given birth to a girl. 

Replica by Lauren Oliver 


Lyra : Chapter 1 

On very still nights sometimes we can hear them chanting, calling for us to die. 

Gemma : Chapter 1 

Escape: that was what Gemma dreamed of, especially on nights like this one, when the moon was so big and bright it looked like it was a set piece in a movie, hooked outside her window on a curtain of dark sky. 

The Summoning by Kelley Armstrong


Twelve years earlier…

Mommy forgot to warn the new babysitter about the basement. 

Jane Steele by Lyndsay Faye


Chapter 1

Of all my many murders, committed for love and for better reasons, the first was the most important. 

Jane by April Lindner 


Chapter 1 

The chairs in the lobby of Discriminating Nannies, inc., were less comfortable then they looked. 

Frozen by Melissa De La Cruz and Michael Johnston


The Voice of the Monster 

They were coming for her. 

Made For You by Melissa Marr


Day 0: “The Party”

Eva

“Did you see her?” Piper whispers, lifting the same plastic cup of wine she’s been holding the past two hours as of it hides her. 

Free to Fall by Lauren Miller 


Chapter 1 

It came in a plain white envelope, which made both more and less of its significance. 

Alive by Scott Sigler 


Chapter 1 

A stabbing pain jolts me awake. 

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah


Chapter 1 

April 9th, 1995 

The Oregon Coast

If I have learned anything in this long life of mine, it is this: In love we find out who we want to be; in war we find out who we are. 

For so many reasons I want to read all these books and for quite a few I had to stop myself from wanting to dive in past the first line cough cough *Jane Steele* cough cough. In truth I’m excited for all of these and I can’t wait to dive into these books on my shelves! 

Thanks for reading! I hope you liked this post. Which of these lines stood out to you the most? If you have read any of these books, what did you think of them? I hope to speak with you all down in the comments. 

-Till Next time!

Do you Mind?


Would you mind 

If I laid my head back, 

shed my skin from my bones to create new skin , 

closed my eyes… 

and dreamed? 

Would you mind it if it meant that the first thought I head upon awakening was of me instead of you? (Rest assured thoughts were always of you)

Would you mind if I was selfish for a little while, carving out a place in the sand for my own little ocean to pour into every inch of me that feels exhausted, tired, wasted, and abused? 

Would you mind? 

I hope to God that you mind… 

Our conversations were always a monologue of you

Scratch that, I hope you don’t mind at all, because if you do it’s still about you and all my rose-tinted psychedelic excuses will mean nothing. Nothing. Nothing. 

Do you mind…

Do you care… 

Did you ever care… 

Nevermind, it’s all too f***ing bad 

I’m grabbing my time, my paintbrush and dipping it into the paint of my self-worth. I’m going to paint some beautiful pictures. I’m going to do it all, new paint streaming from the determination of my own selfish care.. you are no longer invited.. lest the paint be dried out and vacuumed away into the shrivel of your second-rate air. 

Thank you all for reading! I don’t know why I almost feel apologetic for all the poetry lately, but it’s something that is healing for me and I need to get it out especially during the times I’m feeling low. Do you Mind is probably one of the most angst filled pieces I’ve written and it’s due to the fact that I am feeling so entirely tired lately. I am in a weird place in time and this is one of the things that helps me on the journey through. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this poem! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments. 

-Till next time!

The #1 Best Quote: According to Brainy Quote 

I love quotes and I was curious to see what the number one quote would even be and how interested in it I would actually be. 

The following is the #1 quote on brainyquote: 


The quote I did find to be beautiful. I can understand why it would be #1 even if there are hundreds of quotes that I might resonate with more closely then even this one. It is the truth of it or rather the cliche of it that gets to me. It is meant to be powerful and it is but after a long time of hearing things like this it grows hollow, but then cliches feel like cliches only because they are so popular. It starts to feel like words for everyone and not words for yourself. 

Words are powerful and some words empower masses, but if you can empower just one person by your words alone you have something special within you. I have many words that have been said to me that I carry around in my belly like other good foods. The best words are nourishment for the heart and Hellen Keller’s are certainly just that. 

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments.

-Till next time!