Can’t Type at All


There’s a time where 

Your minds flipped 

Distracted 

Wandering 

Thinking 

Hoping for too many different things 

There is a time where 

You just don’t know what to do

There blankness in front of you 

Mocking 

Laughing 

But you just can’t type 

Words 

The devils 

Are elusive 

Hiding away 

Visible yet just out of reach 

Just enough for your dedication to die 

I need to type 

I need to write 

Without words 

My mind will die 

Yet they are gone from me 

Vanished into the air 

I wish for them 

But they don’t come 

It isn’t fair

I’m dying 

Slowly 

From a lacking mind 

Does too much of everything 

Cause brain cells to die?

I just need to find them 

Strinng them together 

And my mind will be in order 

Starvation in a writer’s mind 

Is wanting to write without knowing letters 

Thank you all for reading! My brain is not working right now and I was doing everything I could to write a post and nothing was working and out came this poem. Sometimes struggle gives birth to something good from time to time. There is always a silver lining. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Till next time!

The Book Fests Award


Thank you to Aldana @ Perfection in Books for nominating me for this fun award! Aldii has such a beautiful blog and personality, I love her aesthetic! 

RULES:

  • It’s always proper and the right thing to do, when you receive something from someone, you thank them. It’s the same with this award. You can link the blogger who presents the award blog in the post you use to fulfill the requirements of the award.
  • Answer the award questions that will be listed below.
  • Write a Fifty Word Story, because it’s fun.
  • Award five or more bloggers with this Award.
  • Ask them a question of your making, you’ll like them to answer.
  • Put up the award image badge on your blog via image widget.

AWARD QUESTIONS: 

A book you started but never finished…but want to finish. What stopped you from continuing to read it?

Revival by Stephan King. It is really slow and there is not much going on inside it. It didn’t pique my interest much, but as the first book I ever started reading from Stephan King I wanted to do my best to finish it. 
What elements attract you to a book, which makes you need to read it?

One of the most interesting things I find about books are the premise. If the book is surrounded by a unique idea that captures my attention I will definitely read it. I also love retellings, I’m a huge sucker for a good retellings. Plus, most fantasy and contemporary novels surrounding mental illness pique my interest. 
Which books do you prefer, e-copy or hard copy?

Usually I would say a physical copy, but thanks to netgalley I’ve been really into e-books lately so I really don’t mind either way. 
What book are you currently reading or going to read next?

I am currently reading 3 different books, Mask of Shadows, Use the Force, and The Bone Season. I am more then halfway through with all of them so I look forward to reviewing them all very soon!

The book I’m looking to read next is The Suffering Tree I’m doing my best to increase my netgalley ratio which is at 50% right now so after Mask of Shadows and this book it will be up to 70%. 
Is it fair to judge a book by its film?

No, you can’t judge a book by it’s film or a film by it’s book. They are both two different mediums that accomplish things very differently. 
What book did you badly judge by its cover and ended up loving?

Is it weird that this hasn’t happened yet? I sometimes judge a book by its cover, but most of the time I let the words speak for themselves. Usually if I don’t like a books cover I look to the synopsis, but I never think that a bad cover equals a bad book. 
Which book character have you felt the most kin with and able to relate with?

Recently that has been Hawthorne from The Hundred Lies of Lizzie Lovett. The way she sees the world reminds me of a younger me. The stories she creates from her loneliness are also things I can relate to. 


Aldii’s question: 

If you had to choose a genre to read for all your life (you won’t be able to read any other genre) which one would you choose?

Fantasy hands down! While I definitely read across most genres fantasy holds a special place in my heart and I couldn’t bare it if I couldn’t read the genre for the rest of my life. It is my comfort genre. 
50ish WORD STORY: 

There was a girl who saw the stars for what they really are. Gastric lights living and dying continuously before our eyes. She fell in love with all there parts. She understood the stars and was awed by them. She wished to live amoung them as particles of dust swarming around their firey bodies. 80 years past, as an old women she told her grandchildren her wish. Years after her death, her wish was granted, she soars now one with the stars. A part of the gorgeous lights that guide our way home. 

MY NOMINEES: 

Chaotic Everything
The Ultimate Fangirl

Debbie’s Library

Royal Reader 

Rattle the Stars
QUESTION FOR MY NOMINEES: 

What is your favorite quote from the book you most recently read? What does that quote mean to you?

Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed this unique award. Let me know your thoughts in the comments, and as always: 

-Till next time!



The List by Patricia Forde: A Review

The List by Patricia Forde

My Rating: 4 stars 

Publisher: Sourcebooks Jabberwocky

Publish Date: August 8th, 2017

Received: Netgalley provided an e-arc in exchange for an honest review 

Pre-Order: Amazon

Fahrenheit 451 meets The Giver for tweens in this gripping story about the power of words and the dangers of censorship.
In the city of Ark, speech is constrained to five hundred sanctioned words. Speak outside the approved lexicon and face banishment. The exceptions are the Wordsmith and his apprentice Letta, the keepers and archivists of all language in their post-apocalyptic, neo-medieval world. 
On the death of her master, Letta is suddenly promoted to Wordsmith, charged with collecting and saving words. But when she uncovers a sinister plan to suppress language and rob Ark’s citizens of their power of speech, she realizes that it’s up to her to save not only words, but culture itself.

Musings: 

When I was in elementary school, my favorite teacher Mrs. Ohonion had the class read a little book called The Giver. The first time I read it I was stunned, awed by a discussion of humanity I had never pondered prior. The List has thus impacted me further.

This novel brought back some of my fondest memories and made me feel like a child once more. It reminded me of some of the moments that shaped the way I decided to view the world,  humanity, and how we connect to one another. I loved it. The writing was beautiful. The characters thoughtfully crafted. The message, the words, were the most powerful parts of all. 

Letta is a young apprentice to The Wordsmith an older man named Benjamin. Letta in my eyes, represents humanity. Her beliefs molded by her upbringing she at first only knows what are called the Desecraters as terrorists, mauraders, and a people of destruction. Yet, like all humans she possesses an Independent mind that allowed her to see her situation in a new light, and that is the beauty of being human. 

Letta is the kind of person I aspire to be. She does not let her bias affect what she knows to be right or wrong. She does not look at people and see them as anything less then what they are, human. When she is given a place of power she does not belittle others, she does all she can to help them, to be there for them, and that is the kind of person I wish to be. It’s hard to think that I could ever choose to do so many of the things she did. Society as she lives in has deteriorated and she is one of the many voices hoping for the future. 

Inside this story, the world was destroyed by climate change a radical mind named Noa built up an eden called Arch. In this eden, the only words spoken are from the list. A minuscule amount of 500 words allowed to be spoken. The result is a society conditioned to give in and forget the beauty of words. All controlled by a man who knows their power better than anyone else. 

The most imperitive part of this novel is words. What does it mean to limit them. What happens when it becomes extinct? What would we ever do if we were wordless? I love pondering words. The way we use them tailor the way we see the world and how the world in turn sees us. Without them, we would be nothing and could aspire to nothing, we could only be. This point is the cornerstone of what this novel stands for as well as what made me come to love it so much. 

A novel not so far removed from what society could be, it is one that challenges you to think about the type of world we live in and the type of world you would want create and to give you the incentive to do something about it. The world is ours. What has happened has past, but the future is created by our design. 

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this review. The list is a novel I would highly recommend to all. Are you thinking about reading this book? What are your thoughts on The Giver style novels? If you have read this book, what did you think?

-Till next time!

Special: A Short Story 


A smile. That was the spark of it. It was me and him alone in the hallway, I looked up took in his face, his lips lifted up and my heart skipped a beat. Than he left. I went to my locker, picked up the books I needed and headed home. 

It was all so normal. A moment that shouldn’t have crossed my mind after it was over. Yet I felt something, something warm. 

Years have past and I can tell you now that nothing came from it. Nate was a boy I had known years before that moment and he is a man that is a true friend today. I got close to him after that day. We shared jokes, studied for exams in groups, told each other secrets, and gave a little piece of hearts to one another,  but we were never romantic. My heart that had started to beat for him was broken. Nate wasn’t a man for dating, at least, not until much later. I think I fell for him a little more just because of that. He’d laugh to hear all this now, maybe I will share this story with him soon, but most likely that will never come to pass. 

In my heart he was perfect. There was never a moment where he didn’t try to make me smile. He was and still is the biggest goofball, my Nate (I say this platonically now of course).  He became attuned to me, always made sure I was doing well. We had our seperate groups of course, but we became each other’s best friends and we still are. I never told him how I felt, I knew he had a soft spot for Lydia a mutual friend, though she had eyes for Marchel who she called, “Quietly handsome” something I would agree with, though we all know who I had eyes for. 

Nate never told Lydia that he liked her, when she finally confessed to Marchel and started dating him Nate confided in me. “I never seem to luck out do I?” 

He had looked so broken then, “I am happy she found a good guy though, Marchel would never hurt her. She derserves the best, even if the best doesn’t happen to be me.” He smiled.

This time that smile broke my heart. I knew in that moment, I could never tell him how I felt. I could never say how his emotion mirrored my own. No matter my feelings, Nate deserves the best too. Somehow, I also knew, that that person was never going to be me. 

I don’t think you can ever fall out of love with someone, not really. There is always a piece of you that stays with them. I eventually dated, there was Mark, Philip, Sean, and then Robert. I never stayed with anyone for long, well, except for Philip. I thought Philip could have been the one, a year and a half in and he cheated on me. I guess I too never have much luck in love. My heart still beats a little faster to see Nate’s smile. I know now I love it because when he smiles at you, you feel special, like your the only one that matters in that moment. I’m not his special someone. I’m now a loyal friend. Maybe one day a heart will beat fast to my own smile. Maybe one day they will be special to me. Maybe I will become special to them. 

Thanks for reading! This was a Valentines Day inspired short story. I have never dated anyone (or kissed for that matter) but I have fallen before and I wanted to see that kind of story represented. This story has a little slice of cheese, but I think that’s quite alright for the season. I hope you all have a lovely February!

Let me know what you think in the comments. How do you feel about the story? Are you interested in more short stories in the future? 

-Till next time!

2016/2017 tag


Ohh my goodness! Is this a tag post?!?! I can’t believe my eyes. I don’t know what has been keeping me away from one of my favorite kinds of posts to write, but I gotta say, it’s good to write one once more! It has been so long in fact that I got tagged for this post by three different lovely bloggers: A Wee Bit Eccentric whose blog astetic I love! Blame it on Chocolate Who is just so sweet and lovely. I feel so happy whenever I see her posts, there always fun to read! Finally, The Uncharted Word whose blog is so simple and pretty that it really lets her words shine through! 

Created by, #Theguywhoalwayssaidno

To the Rules:

  • Mention the creator of this tag.
  • Use the image that you find in this tag.
  • Mention the blogger that chose you.
  • Answer the questions.
  • Mention 9 other bloggers/friends and let them know through a comment on their blog.

Questions:

1. Describe your 2016 in three words 

Weird, exciting, moody

To November: WTF
2. Write the names of two people that have characterized your 2016. 

My mom and my sister, I don’t think I could have gotten through 2016 or any year prior without their constant support and guidance. 2016 was a difficult year, 2017 looks like it will be even harder. I am so glad to have them both by my side through it all. 
3. Write the most beautiful place you’ve visited in 2016 and why you liked it so much.

Uhh… I didn’t go anywhere… my life was graduation and getting ready for college and I didn’t go anywhere that was particularly beautiful. Does Six Flags Magic Mountain at Christmas time count?
4. Write the most delicious food you’ve tasted in 2016.

Fajitas!!!!! I love fajitas and I tried them for the first time last year! Probably one of the best things that happened last year was when that tortilla covered chicken touched my mouth. Delicious!
5. Write the event which has marked you more of this in 2016 (even a global event).

I could say so many different things here, but I think the biggest thing would be Trump’s presidency. A piece of me died when he won. It opened my eyes to reality and the power of the voice more then anything had in recent memory. The amount of backlash and the beauty of all the protests that have passed have given me so much inspiration and hope. I have been more motivated to do good in this world then I ever have been. 
6. Write the finest purchase you’ve made in 2016, and, if you want, link a photo.

My bookshelves! I finally got bookshelves last year from ikea and I am so happy I got them! I can finally see what books I have and they are no longer in a dungeon I have to excavate from just to read a book. 
7. Write three good intentions for this 2017.

Write a book 

Write a book 

Write a book

Wait that’s just one thing! 

How about: do more writing, write stories, and write poetry. 

Still the same thing? 

How about: write stuff, be a better person, and help out as much as I can? 

That’s better right? 

Did I meantion I intend to write stuff? 

I did?! Ok. Just making sure. 
8. Write a place you want to visit in 2017.

Indie stores and museums in downtown la, I live so close to la and I just need to make it a point to go and see all it has to offer. 
9. Write one plate/food you want to eat in 2017.

I’m going to say the one dish I never wanted to try in 2017 that I tried a few days ago. Sweet and Strong, an Italian Futurist dish I had to make and try for my modern art class for extra credit. This sandwhich consists of: buttered bread, bananas, mustard, and anchovies (ANCHOVIES!) whatever you do, do not eat this dish, it is disgusting. Thank God I only had one bite. It was the worst food I’ve ever had, and I had to make it myself. 

I Tag: 

Anyone who wishes to do this tag. 
I know this tag is kinda (very) late, it’s already the middle of Febuary, but I hope you enjoyed reading! Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Like all tags this one was a whole lot of fun to write. Hope your having a great week. Stay awesome. 

-Till next time!

Burning Out 


University, homework, trying to stay fit, keeping up with the blog, reading as much as possible, writing, commenting on other bloggers posts, and dealing with all the punches life gives, I am having an emotional burn out. This isn’t to say I’m running out of ideas (in fact, I am suffering from having too many) or even that I’m unhappy with all I have to do. Just that I’m running low on gas and I need to find a way to refill, refresh, and revitalize myself. 

I put all this pressure on myself to keep chugging along and because all my dreams and ideas pop up so quickly and frequently and I am not a very organized person, I have overloaded myself and I am reaching a breaking point. I’m taking this time to reflect and put together my thoughts, to see what I can do to ease this self-inflicted problem. 

  1. Write down a schedule for posts/ organize post types and times better
  2. Stick to that schedule
  3. Start writing extra posts when the time presents itself (especially tags/awards)
  4. Do all homework asap (I don’t procrastinate too much on homework, but it can pile up if I’m not careful)
  5. Stop watching so much YouTube (YouTube sucks away my time more then anything else) 
  6. Read books during the time I would be watching YouTube
  7. Continue exercises (I’ve actually been working out way more often recently!)
  8. Do my best not to fear the writing process
  9. Try not to stress out so much when things don’t pan out quite right 
  10. Try not to be so hard on myself 
  11. Go with the flow 
  12. Just keep swimming!

I promise you, lovely reader, that I am not giving up! Just the opposite, I am working to revamp myself so I am more productive then ever. My schedule at the moment is all over the place and I will do everything I can to give more of my time to what’s important and less on empty calories (i.e. YouTube). I want to create a better life for myself that is balanced and happy. It will be a bumpy road, but everyday comes with new challenges and improvements. I know that good things are coming sooner then I perceive it to be. 
Thank you for reading! Let me know if you have any tips and ideas for me in the comments. I hope to be back on track very soon!

Till next time!

Happy Valentines Day! 

Today is February 14th! A day for lovers to meet and proclaim their love for one another and spend the day in passions and day dreams. But if your like me and are single (18 years and I’ve never dated) and you don’t have plans to hang out with friends or family (plus if your me you have university to go to, and homework to do) what do you do? 

Well, as soon as free time presents itself, it’s great to go out and get some chocholate covered strawberries, and some sweethearts, to eat and save for the rest of the week. Then, it’s great to sick back, relax, read a book, and listen to some lovely music. However because it’s Valentine’s Day and your feeling a bit romantic you listen to some cheesy sappy tunes. 

Here is: My Sappy Playlist


Disclaimer: These songs are not just sappy, but many of them are also a bit dancy. There are some really cheesy songs though, you have been warned! Also, every single song on this list is one I love, in my heart of hearts I am a hopeless romantic, if this isn’t your type of thing, I am sorry, but in the end I am who I am. 

On to the music, (for real this time!)
1. Shape of You – Ed Sheeran 

2. Give Me Love – Ed Sheeran 

(I could make this whole list with just Ed Sheeran songs, I am in love with his voice, but I will leave it with two of my favorites) 

3. Clarity – Zedd 

(Clarity is not typically thought of as a Love song, but these lyrics connect somewhere deep inside my soul, this is my favorite song of all time for a reason) 

4. I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing – Aerosmith

(One of the most beautiful classic love songs, I find it so relaxing) 

5. Earned It – The Weeknd

(I know, I know, it’s 50 shades of grey, but I gotta admit, I love the song!)

6. I Need your Love – Calvin Harris Ft. Ellie Goulding

(‘I need to be free with you tonight’ these lyrics are beautiful and I love to sing them. It’s been a while since I’ve heard this song, I missed it!)

7. Rather Be – Clean Bandit Ft. Jess Glynne

(This song makes me so so happy! Rather Be has always been such an uplifting song, my heart beats faster just listening to it)

8. Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol

(This one breaks my heart, it makes me feel so much within the melody and notes alone. It’s almost a tearjerker for me.)

9. Hero – Enrique Iglesias 

(This wouldn’t be a Valentines playlist without this song. Probably the cheesiest of them all, but whoever you are you know somewhere deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep down, you love this song)

10. A Thousand Years – Christina Perri 

(As a book lover, whose love for books was truly sparked in the Twilight craze, there is no way this song couldn’t make an appearance and it is honestly beautiful) 

11. I See the Light – Tangled, Mandy Moore

(Nothing melts the heart better then a Disney romance, and Tangled takes the cake. This song gives me the feels!) 

12. Jealous – Labrith

(This song gets me everytime. I just want to close my eyes and let the lyrics wash over me. There is more then love in this song, it is a story, a story that breaks you yet fills you up. Simply captivating.)
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. What songs do you listen to on this lovely day? 

Till next time!

A Conversation


Tell me, 

Who told you these lies? 

You know, 

More than anyone else ever could. 

Who hurt you so deeply you can’t even look up?

It was her, I told you before didn’t I? I hurt her first, its not her fault. 

What happened? 

Pain happened. Right place wrong time. My mind was cloudy, I thought it was her! 

What went wrong?

Everything and nothing. That girl was hurt I held her, she kissed me, I let her, it’s all my fault. 

And after? 

There was yelling, she… she never listened you know? H-how could I ever know.. I didn’t want it to end the way it did. 

What now?

I don’t know. How could I? I thought I loved her, I know now I was wrong. 

Why are you crying? 

I miss her, s-she stabbed me and I still miss her, nothing can be done now. 

It wasn’t your fault. 

……

…. 

… 

..

.

I’m sorry, Goodbye. 



Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed, I would love to hear what you make of this. 

-Till next time!


My Anthem


This nation needs to band together 

Hand and hand 

Skin to skin 

There is no difference in our hearts 

Just taught hatred 

And hundreds of years of false memories 

Our anger has created our pain 

We must mold that anger 

Turn it to love 

We must change our hearts 

To see that those before us 

Are here with us trying to be 

There is no reason for envy

No reason for bitterness 

No reason to raise your hands against another 

There is no race 

This is no orientation 

Nothing in death 

We have created this filters in living 

Built our brains to see our difference 

I am white so black must be wrong 

No, that is wrong 

I was born in the world to see that because I am human, I can appreciate all color 

Because color is beautiful 

Our hearts are beautiful 

Let us not wallow in our pains 

This world was not built to be against us 

I choose to put my heart with yours 

Because I know this world is not meant for this self-destruction 

Our history is one of war

Our present is one of both hardship, suffering, and an artists hope

Don’t let our future be in ashes 

This is my soul before you 

My true passion 

And my dream 

Will your soul your beating heart beat with mine 

Or will you remain silent or choose to be blind in anger 

We can make our lives better 

This is not the time for silence 

Sing out and sing proud together in harmony 

Because as the grating sound of clashing voices is ugly and painful 

Our voices flowing together can make this world beautiful 

/ Thank you for reading, I hope you take these words to heart. I had another post planned for today, but I was once again reminded that there is something greater that needed to be said. My poetry is my medium to raise my voice. I would hope that you do what you can to raise yours too. Whatever you care about, whatever your passions, please speak out. Let our hearts beat together. Praise be and stay beautiful, inside and out. 

-Till next time 

400 Followers!!! What a thing to wake up to!


This morning I opened my eyes, tired, groggy, and not fully there, I search for my phone and open it to see that over 400 people decided they enjoyed my content enough to follow me, and it feels incredible. 


As a lone book-lover who joined this lovely community just a short 4 months ago, these feelings are indescribable. A whole world has opened up and I’ve gotten to speak with so many lovely bloggers that it makes me so hopeful for the future. 

So to all of you who have supported me in any way, I thank you. Every single individual human being that has read, liked, or commented on my posts have truly touched my heart. I appreciate it so much more than you could ever know. 

So, I’ve decided that I want to do a Q and A post. Everytime I see one of these posts I find them so interesting and they are really helpful for getting to know a fellow blogger. Ask me whatever your heart desires, personal, weird, book or blogger related. Anything goes! I look forward to seeing what you all come up with!

As always, thanks for reading, let me know your thoughts in the comments (rather your questions as it so happens in this post). Keep being the beautiful individuals that you are!

-Till next time!