Mini Disney Binge: Onward, Frozen 2, & Wreck-it Ralph 1 & 2

A long while back I did a Disney Binge and watched all four of these in a day! They were all fun and cute to watch and I thought it’d be cute to do a little post on them.

What I Enjoyed about Onward

Two brothers go on a quest of magic to get the change to see their dead father in the flesh for a day, but their time is running out. There’s growth in this film, true friendship, and some tear-jerking moments. It’s a really well made film and I loved every moment of it!

What I Enjoyed about Frozen 2

Frozen was definitely better then Frozen 2, but I did very much enjoy Frozen 2 as it all went along. What I took from it was the idea of doing the next right thing one at a time. It’s become a motto for me. Also, I did cry at the end of it quite a lot, so it was good in that way too.

I loved both of these! They were so much fun. I love Vanellope has such an adorable personality and I loved her so much! She’s such a sweetheart. The first film was better then the second, but both were great! I loved the friendship in both and seeing Vanellope go for what she wants for herself. Both films were a lot of fun!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

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Watching: The Farewell

I didn’t plan on watching a movie today and today I was pleasantly surprised to get a chance to watch The Farewell.

I choose this film firstly because it was a comedy. Secondly because it dealt with the grandmother having cancer. Thirdly because I was watching this only with my mom and I thought she would enjoy it.

I didn’t realize that it would be half in Chinese. I didn’t realize it would make me feel so much. I also didn’t realize I would laugh so much then cry then be happily surprised by its ending. This movie is so beautifully sweet and I never thought a lie would be so wonderful.

Billi has loved her entire life in America. She lives in New York along with her parents. She was doing her best to make something of her life. Yet, when she finds out that Nai Nai has cancer. She travels there alone when the rest of the family said she shouldn’t be there out of fear of letting the secret be known.

In Chinese culture when someone is ailing with cancer the whole family holds the burden of knowing it and no one says a word of what’s going on health wise with that person. They do this because they believe that it is the fear cancer brings to a person that kills them.

I have to say that sadly that’s very true. When my Dad knew he had cancer he started to deteriorate faster then I’d ever seen. I look at him now and he’s so much thinner and grayer. The only thing he has life for is Facebook. I’ve seen him get really depressed and mad at life. I’ve seen him cry for his situation and it’s broken my heart more then once.

It made me wish we could have not said anything to him about his cancer, but that’s illegal in the US. I wish I could see my dad as full of life as he was when I was a little girl. But, the cancer mixed with his mini-strokes have created a perfect storm of some really difficult circumstances.

Anyway, it made the travel of Billie and her family back to America a really hard scene for me to watch. I can’t imagine leaving my dad not knowing if I’d see him again. It’s made me someone who refuses to keep hold of grudges and who is always open about how I feel for someone. Especially when I love them. I live my life for each and everyday and I appreciate every moment I have with my family and friends.

But, this isn’t all about the sadness this movie was a comedy and it brought me a lot of joy as well! Part of this film that was really fun for me was the relationship between Billie and her mom. Billie is a little quirky and affectionate in a similar way to how I’m affectionate with my mom. She’d put her head on her mom’s shoulder and her mom would push her away with a little smack on the shoulder. In my life I’ve been on the receiving end of those sorts of smacks from my mom and it was cute to see that sort of mother daughter relationship dynamic play out on screen.

This movie had a beautiful balance of culture, comedy, and seriousness. I loved the insights I gained from it both in the big moments and the small ones. One being when Billie spoke with Nai Nai about losing her fellowship. Nai Nai told her that she’d lived a long life and that she was beautiful and smart and that she’d make her success along the way. She made light of something that felt like a big loss and I found that to be beautiful.

Food too was huge in this movie. Eating as a family and talking over huge lunches and dinners. A lot of the movie surrounded huge meals. Billie not wanting to eat to much was considered nonsense and her Nai Nai forcing her to take a bite was an adorable moment.

I loved this film. It’s family-centric. It’s both funny and deep. It made me smile far more then it made me cry. When I did cry I was sobbing like a baby only to find out that I didn’t need to cry at all.

Movies like this always make me want to hold close to those I love and to hold close to life itself. Life isn’t about the painful moments, but how you choose to live fully in spite of them. I highly recommend this film. It’s one that would warm your heart.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

Wolfe Creek Candles

Last month my sister changed her business name from The Candle Caffe to Wolfe Creek Candles. It’s a bit long overdue, but I wanted to write a post about it, because well.. she named it after me.

I don’t know what it is with me, but sometimes I think I fear success. I haven’t involved myself in our business like I should and I am taking the time now to change that.

She even added a new ‘Library’ fragrance scented candle that I absolutely love.

If you are interested in high quality great smelling candles, I highly recommend checking out our stuff. My sister puts her heart into making these candles and they smell incredible. I’m not just saying this, I’ve sold her stuff at enough craft fairs to see that everyone who stops by can’t get enough of their favorite fragrances. Dragon’s Blood, Sea salt and Orchid, and Orange Chili Pepper especially. If you love candles you’ll adore ours. They are long lasting, highly fragrant, and worth every penny.

From now on I’ll be including the website on all my posts and will do more posts about our fragrances in the future. For now, I just want to say how proud I am to be a part of this business. It means a lot to me and I hope you guys enjoy our product as much as I do.

Check out our website @ Wolfecreekcandles.com

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

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-Till next time!

My Sister’s Birthday

My sister’s birthday was on July 9th. The reason I didn’t get this post up sooner was well.. because I needed time to recover from the actual celebrating part.

My sister, her friend Tony, her friends nephew Andrew, and I, all went to six flags on Tuesday and it was fun. We went on almost all the rides because the wait times were pretty good and we all had a good time. It was a little awkward for me at first being around people I hadn’t really met, but it didn’t take too long for me to relax and just enjoy it for what it was.

It was really wonderful to see my sister relaxed and enjoying herself. She was quiet, but that’s who she is as a person and it was nice to see her look so content. We ate some good food. We had some nachos for a snack and some crazy awesome funnel cake for a birthday dessert. We made a whole day of it and its a memory I know I’m going to treasure.

I needed time to recover, because we walked a lot and apparently, g-forces will cause your body to be sore after a while.

Anyway, I love my sister. I wish her all the happiness in the world. She deserves the best. She’s lived a lot longer then I have and I am proud to know her. This may be late, but Happy Birthday Misty! I’m so happy that God brought me into your life. I’ve learned a lot from you. I look up to you and I hope you know how proud I am to be your sister.

Thanks for reading! <— it feels weird saying that in a post like this one, but I am always grateful. I hope everyone reading this has a wonderful day!

-Till next time!

Just a Life Update

It’s currently 1:00 a.m., I’m writing this from the E.R. mostly to keep awake, but also because I have some stuff to share and maybe in some way this could help someone else who has experienced or will experience a situation like my own. Just so no one freaks out.. currently everything is fine. I’m not here for the same reasons I have been in the past.. where my dad was not able to see and was hallucinating due to a mini stroke and with me having no clue at the time what was going on. This visit was mostly planned. However, I expected it to happen in the morning not at midnight.

I even have stuff prepared so I don’t use up too much of my phone battery. I got my Write The Story Book with me and a book to read. I’ve been here for over an hour already.

When you visit the E.R. enough times you learn a lot of compassion for other people. Because it is the great equalizer, you never know when your going to get sick or injured and need help like everyone else does every once in a while. The first couple of times I’ve been here with my dad it caused me quite the bit of grief and anxiety. It’s hard to see a parent wither away so quickly. It’s even harder when it’s expected of you to remain calm and collected about the whole thing when your mind is anything but.

This time though I don’t expect to hear anything I don’t already know. I’m just hoping my dad doesn’t get admitted again… especially when I know it’s not going to last because they are just going to say there isn’t much of anything they can do.

This blog and work has been my saving grace these past couple of weeks. On those levels things have been going well for me. Mentally I’m so much stronger then I was before and putting a concerted effort into something I have a passion for has done wonders for my mental health. When you have a loved one that has major health issues it’s important to remember to take care of yourself. To work at things that make you happy, because I know from experience that running over and over in your head all the pain and sadness only causes more of it.

Being in the hospital so often also solidified for me something I already knew, that life is short and we all need to enjoy what we can in this life we can, because what’s the point really if all we did was wallow in suffering? I’ve seen so many elderly people lying in hospital rooms just waiting to die alone (not all quite a few have families, but quite a few also, do not) and that’s not how I want to end. That’s not what I want my life to be period. Yes, we have to feel the sadness. I spent a lot of time doing just that, but when it starts to become you, that’s when things need to change.

The strokes affected my dad’s mind. He’s become so angry and bitter at everything. It’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to see. He forgets things.. he has an unhealthy attachment to the news and whatever Trump is doing. He’s not the man I grew up looking up to. I’ve had to mourn that man even while he is still alive.

Sometimes living in an environment where the reality is that someone you love is truly losing their mind bit by bit can become toxic. I’ve learned to deal with it by realizing that my dad isn’t really my dad anymore and to not take anything he says or does personally, because it stems from hurt and sickness and him facing the reality that he is dying. I do my best not to let the truth of the situation make me bitter.. or to not let it make it so I loose my mind with the sadness as well.

So I watch films and post about them, I get back to writing about books I want to read, I hang out with friends when they ask. I choose to continue living. It’s so easy to shut down in a situation like this. To let it consume you. But another truth is that there is so much to live for. So I’m there for my family as much as I can be. I’m there for my dad. I hold myself together sitting in the very lightly cushioned hospital chairs. I try to think about good things. To smile at pictures of cats and puppies and watch stupid videos to distract myself.

It sucks sure, it sucks to have someone you love suffer. It’s even harder when it changes them and sometimes in a not so good way. But, I understand it. I really do. I’ve cried over it, I’ll probably cry over it more in the future, but It’s a balance between compassion for your loved one and compassion for yourself. It’s a fine line and there’s no rulebook for any of this.

I look at my mom and I see how tired she’s gotten. How angry because she’s the one that deals with all of dad’s pain and anger directly. So when she’s mad at me for something small I let it go even if it’s to tell me to do something I’ve already taken care of. Or something so small it doesn’t even matter. I let everything go. Because I’m not going to let this situation cause all of us to start yelling at each other all the time. Because arguments happen and they happen more often then I’d like them to. I’m trying to be someone that doesn’t add to escalating an already difficult situation. I’ve learned more patience and calmness from this situation then any other of my life. I’ve learned not to take things personally from this more then any other. But, I’m not perfect. Not even close. Sometimes I loose my cool and argue back. Sometimes, I sit and the emotions wash over me and I just let myself feel. Sometimes anger comes over me and I have to remove myself from a situation so I don’t say something I would regret. Sometimes I fail to remove myself. But, that’s all part of being human. We have emotions. We hurt. We deal with difficulty. We persevere.

This isn’t at all a pessimistic post. It’s just an honest look at something I’ve been dealing with for a long time now. It’s an honest telling of what I’ve learned from it. I don’t like hiding things. I don’t like pretending like things are better or worse then they are. For me going through this has been hard, but it is manageable and this is not at all a post for the sake of being pitied. Stuff like this happens all the time, but if I can help someone through my experience to deal with their own then I do want to candidly discuss it which is why i choose to write this in the first place.

There is always hope in every situation. There is always something to be learned. I love my family. I love my dad. I wish that none of this would have ever happened, but it’s something that can be handled in a healthy way. It is now 2:00am and I think I’m kinda losing the message I was trying to convey so I’m going to stop here.

To all those who are going through a difficult situation right now, you’ve got this! You are going to make it through. I’ll be praying and rooting for all of you. You deserve the best.

Thanks you all for reading! I send my love out to all of you.

-Till next time!

Spending Time With Family

This blog has become very personal recently, and honestly I like it. Sharing my ups and downs and more what’s going on with me, especially when there has been a lot going on with me recently is pretty cool. Being able to remain open and honest about my anxieties, depression from events that have past, and what I’m healing mentally is really awesome! I’m very grateful to have a platform where I can be real with others.

That being said today was another nice day. It’s a day I needed. It’s also a day I think my family needed too. Myself, my mom, and my sister went to visit some relatives on my mom’s side and it was a pretty chill (also cold) and relaxing day. I may have felt tired all day, but I ate some great food, learned how to play a game called Mexican Train, and got to go on a nice walk with my niece and nephew. We were on a quest to fly a drone that just didn’t pan out, but otherwise it was a nice walk.

It feels weird, but I’m relaxing into life after a long time of feeling afraid of it. Even when I was happy about it I was afraid that the happiness would go away, but now I’m really feeling cool with whatever comes and goes and that feeling is amazing.

2018 in general has been a big year for me, but I’ve grown a lot especially mentally this year. I’m more in tune now with what I want and how I feel then I’ve ever been and I’m genuinely excited for the first time to see what 2019 brings. Before I was honestly terrified, but now I have an odd peaceful feeling about it. It feels like a year I purged a lot of emotion. Old wounds that have now mostly healed. Especially wounds that I didn’t realize I had.

As crazy as it is to say I feel like I needed to go through all the difficult things I went through this year so that I could become stronger as a person. Because I do feel stronger. Yeah, I hurt a lot this year. I dealt with a lot of general unhappiness. I also didn’t deal with certain things in the best way. But, I’m human and I’m still learning. I think no matter how old you get there is still something to learn. I’m only 20, I’m going to make a lot of mistakes in my life. I just have to make it a point to try my best.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

-Till next time!

Watching Atypical: Seasons 1 and 2

Over my short self-imposed celebration break. I watched this amazing show on Netflix called Atypical.

When I saw the banner for it. I knew I had to give it a shot!

Before I start talking about it, I do have to acknowledge that this is not a perfect representation of the life of someone who is autistic. I’ve read some great reviews that can tell you about some of the things that the show doesn’t get quite right. Here is one from New York Times and another from The Guardian.

I don’t pretend to know all that much about what it means to be autistic. I know that it affects everyone differently, much in the way that anyone can have completely different experiences with the same disability. However, for me watching this funny family drama with so much depth to it was simply an all around great experience for me.

I loved that it was light-hearted, but also very real at the same time. I loved that the biggest problems weren’t surrounding Sam’s condition, but related to the family as a whole. My favorite character by far was Sahid. Sam’s best friend and coworker at techtropolis gave the worst advice (that sometimes worked), was the biggest ladies man on the planet, and did whatever he could to help out his friend no matter what. Half the time the words that came out of his mouth were so ridiculous that I would shake my head and roll my eyes, but then there were other times where you could see how much he genuinely cares for Sam and he became the coolest person in the show for me.

I also really enjoyed the dad in this show. He doesn’t know how to connect with Sam and he wants to. The growing relationship between them was one of my favorite things to watch. In general, I really enjoyed how relationships were portrayed overall. I loved how they were all different and cared about each other in different ways.

Sam and his sister were always fun to watch interact. Sam’s sister clearly looks out for Sam, but she also messes with him and treats him mostly like a brother and sister would treat each other. Actually, I think Sam’s sister was one of the best developed characters. Her storyline was one of the most in depth and changing of all the characters and I really enjoyed watching how she approached the many challenges that she was presented with making her own choices no matter the consequences.

The mom too, made her own choices. Some really bad ones, but they were her own. The show does a really good job at making people human, dealing with internal issues and external conflict.

I must admit, there are some weird plot lines in this show. Sam falling in love with his therapist (who never returns that love) being one of them. That plot line was the one that made me cringe a little, but it made for some of the most dramatic and weird situations so I found it in myself to forgive it. I loved that especially once your into season 2 everyone had their own stories in it. There was more depth then ever in each of the characters. It was so much fun to see.

There are heartwarming moments, and laugh out loud moments, and moments where your heart sinks to the floor. It isn’t perfect by far, but I think it shows that there is an effort being made to go in the right direction. I fell in love with this show. I think many of you might feel the same.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! What are some of your favorite shows?

-Till next time!

Life Update: My Dad is Home!

First off, I want to say thank you to the outpouring of love, prayer, and support over the last few days. It has meant so much to my family and I.

My dad is still sick and he is going to have routine doctor’s appointments for a long time, but it feels much better now that he is home. I am still very worried about him. He isn’t eating very much, even though he looks a bit stronger now then he looked at the hospital.

My dad is in his 70’s. He has changed so much from when I was little. It’s heartbreaking to watch someone you love become a shell of who they used to be.

My mom is urging me to get back on track and start being productive again with my blogging and writing. It will be difficult for a while, but I’m willing to start moving forward. My dad too wants me to keep writing.

Anyway, this was supposed to be a happy post. My dad is home and I have a lot of things to look forward to.

Thanks so much for being here!

-Till next time!

A Quote for Your Day

This quote means so much to me. My family means so much to me and I love them more then anything. They not be blood of my blood, but they are the people who chose to be in my life and who raised me to be the person I am. Sometimes I get filled with such overwhelming appreciation for them that I have to share it that is what this post is.

-Till next time!

Welcome to the Slipstream: A Review 

Welcome to the Slipstream by Natalka Burian

My Rating: 4/5 stars

Publisher: Adams Media

Publish Date: June 6th, 2017

Recieved: Netgalley provided a e-arc copy in exchange for an honest review. 

Pre-Order: Amazon

Synopsis:

Bright lights, big trouble
Fans of Laurie Halse Anderson’s Speak and Judy Gregerson’s Bad Girls Club will relate to this story about a girl traumatized by her brilliant mother’s serious mental illness.

Like a grown-up Eloise from the picture book, the main character, Van, lives in an upscale casino in glitzy Las Vegas, giving readers entree into a crazy world that few ever get to see.

Based on real life events witnessed by the author, a harrowing look at the dangers of self-help cults that promise insight and instead deliver destruction.
With her mother, a brilliant businesswoman with fragile mental health, Van arrives in Las Vegas at the Silver Saddle casino, where Alex, a college student, is assigned to “babysit” her. Van is used to having to land on her feet, because her mother and her surrogate grandmother move from city to city all the time like corporate gypsies, but Alex introduces Van, a talented musician, to a group where her guitar skills may shine. But just as she’s about to play her first gig, her mother is lured in by a con man promising a “vision quest” in Arizona, and Van must go on the road to find and save her mom.

Musings: 

This book was one of those books that was weird in a delicious way. It’s so real and honest in how it portrays each character and all the interactions that occur. Vans mother is very sick and the beautiful way of that Natalka writes her illness and Vans struggle to ever truly understand and connect fully with her mother was amazing. The familial love in this book is done so well because it portrays the hard parts of love as well as the easier parts. Sometimes it’s easy to feel like giving up, but some part of you always keeps you going. 

I also really enjoyed the Vegas setting for the beginning bits, but I’m a little upset that the synopsis gives away so much of the novel. I.e the second half where Van goes after her mother who is on a vision Quest as the supposed prophet of a certain psychedelic group of people. 

However I’m getting a bit ahead of myself here. Let’s just talk about my absolute favorite relationship that this story enfolds Van’s relationship with Ida the woman who is the glue to this very unconventional family. Ida is an elderly woman that is like a chill grandmother that pays attention and really cares. Without Ida there is a lack of balance and things fall apart, but when she is present she knows how to be stern yet encouraging and truly a role model for Van. I love her more then words can say. 

When Alex shows up as this awkward yet endearing love interest for Van. It felt very fitting. I really enjoyed how Van didn’t seem to know exactly the best way to interact with Alex and vice versa. I just enjoyed the weird ways they got to figure out who they were to each other. When Alex finds out Van can play guitar and introduces her to some friends in a band who needed a guitarist. All the adventure there was fun to read. 

But, it didn’t stop there. Van’s mom is such a lovely character because she is so unpredictable and when she is stable she is like a light that Van can’t help but want to be like (she would never admit that even uncounciously) and when she is low… well things get really difficult. When you find out her mom is attached at the hip with a “psychic therapist” and things start going crazy at the hotel, Van’s mom’s job gets compromised and when Van’s mom takes off with her therapist to the middle of nowhere things get weird. 

This book is a novel centered around discovery and finding out what it is you really want from life. It is about imperfection, mental instability, and a tornado of relationships that will leave you filled with curiosity right until the very end.

Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed this review. What do you think about Welcome to the Slipstream? I’d love to hear your first impressions! 

-Till next time!