I Welcome 2020!

I am so excited for the new year! I can’t really describe it. I’m so joyful in where I’m at that I’m just happy and excited knowing that the best that the world has to offer will come in the new year. I felt that way at work yesterday. I was suddenly this blissful happy person and I was excited. It felt like I’d taken a pill or something, but I hadn’t. I just felt really good.

I know 2020 is going to be an incredible year, because I feel so good right now. That and that it will be my dominate wish for the new year and every year after to find and experience as much joy as possible in each and every moment.

There is no real goal that I have set for 2020. I don’t really care for resolutions. Especially because they always seem to drop off pretty quickly. Plus, what you want for yourself is continually changing as you grow and change. So I don’t like to have a set thing that must happen in the new year.

However, I do want to set some sort of arbitrary goal each month. To learn something new or to do something fun that I hadn’t yet tried. Also, to write. To set some obtainable writing goals and to have fun writing.

With writing sometimes I feel I get weird about it, because I expect too much of myself when it comes to writing. Yet, when I take some time to sit down and write the words flow. It’s always there and easy to tap into. It’s breaking through that initial wall that I’ve got to work on. So I’ll probably make some sort of goal around that.

Either way, I’ll be making a January goals post tomorrow that will be a little more detailed as far as what I want to do in that month. I’m just so excited! So excited to live life. To follow my joy. Ever since I first decided to do so it’s gotten easier and easier and it feels incredible!

I wish everyone the best possible year ahead you can have. I wish you all the greatest happiness you can muster in the new year. I wish everyone to feel as good as possible in the new year.

In this moment I feel such joy, love, and warmth in my heart. I’m so excited to dance, play, and have fun in the new year. It’s going to be the best yet!

Welcome to 2020! Cheers to a year to remember! A year of transformation. A year where we live the life we’ve always wanted to live!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

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Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

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My Thoughts on 2019

Words cannot express how happy I am with where I am in life right now. 2019 started off absolutely terribly. I was not in a good mental health state. I hope was hurting deeply and all I wanted was happiness for myself and everyone involved in the situation that occurred then.

However, because that occurred and because I got so upset with the fact that all I wanted was to feel joy and that I wanted to feel that alongside the people that I love and that I wasn’t living that at the time it allowed me to choose differently for myself. It allowed me to see myself for who I really am. Someone who loves so incredibly deeply and with every inch of her soul. Something that meant that I knew what it was to love unconditionally and that I needed to turn that love inward so that I could live that in my everyday life.

This year was defined by that decision. It took so many inward conversations. So much patience for myself. So much self-soothing and self-care. Then, day after day one improvement became several and it grew and grew to where I no longer felt depression or anxiety period. I gently soothed my depression and anxiety out of existence.

Needless to say I am so proud of myself. So proud of this reality I am now living. One where I have made my joy and my relationship with myself to be the number one most important thing in my life. That by doing so I have created in myself a joyous person all the time. So much so that it is noticeable by those around me.

Doing this allows me to be the wholeness that I am with all who I am with. It lets everyone off the hook of having to be a certain way or do a certain thing in order for me to be happy. I just am. It is the gift I will give to every friend I have. Every coworker and every family member. It will be the gift I give to my significant other in the future. The gift of me taking responsibility for creating my own joy and following it and not making anyone be my excuse to not be happy.

One of my deepest wishes for all human beings is for everyone to experience the fullness of joy that they possibly can for themselves. It is why I have started walking this path of my own joy. Because it would be the greatest gift I could give to myself and everyone in my life would benefit from it.

It is something that is never done, because there is always more and more fun to be had and more and more fun ready to be realized, but to have realized this by the end of the year and to have changed so deeply from it is incredible to me.

I can’t say how much I’ve experienced more fun and more good things just from appreciating every moment of fun and everything that brings me joy in the moment they are there. 2019 has been the set up for what I know will be the best year of my life in 2020. I have no idea what it will look like or what will be in store, but I know that my life is going to continue to change and I can’t wait to embrace it!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

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Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

Books of Christmas Present

This year I’ve had a wonderful Christmas! I got a myriad of presents that I really love and that I’m excited about using. My sister loved all the presents I got her and that was an awesome gift in itself.

I got five wonderful books this year! All books that I know I will one day enjoy reading.

Here they are:

The Miseducation of Cameron Post

The acclaimed book behind the 2018 Sundance Grand Jury Prize-winning movie

“LGBTQ cinema is out in force at Sundance Film Festival,” proclaimed USA Today. “The acerbic coming-of-age movie is adapted from Emily M. Danforth’s novel, and stars Chloë Grace Moretz as a lesbian teen who is sent to a gay conversion therapy center after she gets caught having sex with her friend on prom night.”

The Miseducation of Cameron Post is a stunning and provocative literary debut that was named to numerous best of the year lists.

When Cameron Post’s parents die suddenly in a car crash, her shocking first thought is relief. Relief they’ll never know that, hours earlier, she had been kissing a girl.

But that relief doesn’t last, and Cam is forced to move in with her conservative aunt Ruth and her well-intentioned but hopelessly old-fashioned grandmother. She knows that from this point on, her life will forever be different. Survival in Miles City, Montana, means blending in and leaving well enough alone, and Cam becomes an expert at both.

Then Coley Talor moves to town. Beautiful, pickup-driving Coley is a perfect cowgirl with the perfect boyfriend to match. She and Cam forge an unexpected and intense friendship, one that seems to leave room for something more to emerge. But just as that starts to seem like a real possibility, Aunt Ruth takes drastic action to “fix” her niece, bringing Cam face-to-face with the cost of denying her true self—even if she’s not quite sure who that is.”

My friend at work Daisy got this book for me. She had read it and enjoyed it and hoped that I’d enjoy it. I knew about this book previously and had wanted to read it so I’m exited to do so and share with her my thoughts.

The rest of the books I got were all from family:

Wayfarer

I’m not going to say what this book is about because it’s a second book and I have not read the first and I don’t want to spoil it for myself or anyone. I guess this means I’m buying Passenger sometime in the near future.

The Tiger and The Wolf

“Maniye’s father is the Wolf clan’s chieftain, but she’s an outcast. Her mother was queen of the Tiger and these tribes have been enemies for generations. Maniye also hides a deadly secret. All can shift into their clan’s animal form, but Maniye can take on tiger and wolf shapes. She refuses to disown half her soul, so escapes, rescuing a prisoner of the Wolf clan in the process. The killer Broken Axe is set on their trail, to drag them back for retribution. Maniye’s father plots to rule the north, and controlling his daughter is crucial to his schemes. However, other tribes also prepare for strife. Strangers from the far south appear too, seeking allies in their own conflict. It’s a season for omens as priests foresee danger, and a darkness falling across the land. Some say a great war is coming, overshadowing even Wolf ambitions. A time of testing and broken laws is near, but what spark will set the world ablaze?”

I know nothing about this book. I hadn’t heard of it before, but it does look interesting. It will be a wonderful surprise to read.

Furthermore

“Inspired by her childhood love of books like A Secret Garden and The Chronicles of Narnia, bestselling author Tahereh Mafi crafts a spellbinding new world where color is currency, adventure is inevitable, and friendship is found in the most unexpected places.

There are only three things that matter to twelve-year-old Alice Alexis Queensmeadow: Mother, who wouldn’t miss her; magic and color, which seem to elude her; and Father, who always loved her. The day Father disappears from Ferenwood he takes nothing but a ruler with him. But it’s been almost three years since then, and Alice is determined to find him. She loves her father even more than she loves adventure, and she’s about to embark on one to find the other. 

But bringing Father home is no small matter. In order to find him she’ll have to travel through the mythical, dangerous land of Furthermore, where down can be up, paper is alive, and left can be both right and very, very wrong. It will take all of Alice’s wits (and every limb she’s got) to find Father and return home to Ferenwood in one piece. On her quest to find Father, Alice must first find herself–and hold fast to the magic of love in the face of loss.”

I’ve been wanting to read some good middle grade and I don’t even think my mom realized that. I think she picked based off the cover which to me was a wise choice. The second I laid eyes on Furthermore I knew I wanted to read it! I’m so happy to have it on my shelves.

The Walls Around Us

“A #1 New York Times Bestseller “With evocative language, a shifting timeline and more than one unreliable narrator, Suma subtly explores the balance of power between the talented and the mediocre, the rich and the poor, the brave and the cowardly . . . To reveal more would be to uncover the bloody heart that beats beneath the floorboards of this urban-legend-tinged tale.” —The New York Times The Walls Around Us is a ghostly story of suspense told in two voices–one still living and one dead. On the outside, there’s Violet, an eighteen-year-old ballerina days away from the life of her dreams when something threatens to expose the shocking truth of her achievement. On the inside, within the walls of a girls’ juvenile detention center, there’s Amber, locked up for so long she can’t imagine freedom. Tying these two worlds together is Orianna, who holds the key to unlocking all the girls’ darkest mysteries: What really happened on the night Orianna stepped between Violet and her tormentors? What really happened on two strange nights at Aurora Hills? Will Amber and Violet and Orianna ever get the justice they deserve–in this life or in another one?”

This books is MAGICAL REALISM!!! One of my absolute favorite genres. With every magical realism ya book I own I get happier. There’s only so many out there and I want to read them all!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! I hope you all received all you wished for and more this Christmas! Merry Christmas everyone!

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Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

Books of Christmas Past

Last year, I did not receive any books for Christmas. Typically this boat talks about just that, but last year was a tough Christmas for me, but all that happened then has turned into a blessing for me.

See I was in no position to even really feel enjoyment with books or much of anything in general. The contrast to how I feel now in this moment is incredible. I have changed so much this year and I achieved the ultimate goal that I’ve had for the entirety of my life. Which is to no longer have depression or anxiety way on me. Especially the last three months, I’ve felt free of any sort of Depression or Anxiety.

I’m at a point where I’m happy all the time. I find enjoyment everywhere and life is wonderful all the time for me. After my birthday, I set out to write the best things that happened each day and I was so surprised and delighted to find these past 8 days have been absolutely incredible! I look back on this week and I think that I’d want to fill my life with as many wonderful and unique moments every single day into the future. It’s been incredible.

Mainly, what has changed is my beliefs about life. Which sounds bigger then it really is. I’ve just discovered that I can and should be responsible for my own happiness and that I’m good at it. I’m good at keeping myself happy. I’m good at finding things to think about that bring me joy. I’m good at allowing myself the things that create greater joy in my life. It’s an incredible thing.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas Eve! Merry Christmas everyone!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

Today Was My Birthday! 🎈

Today I turned 21! Why I feel weird about it I’m not exactly sure. Maybe, I just being technically considered an official adult when I have the humor and sarcasm of a 14 year old boy. Or the fact that being 21 means I can buy alcohol and I could care less about that.

I don’t know. On one hand I’m in the amazing place in my life. I can feel so deeply that I’m about to start seeing some amazing things happen in my life and yet another part of me just wants to be a kid. Not that being an adult means that you have to discard all childish things. I’m never going to give up the lightness of joy I feel when I connect to the childish things of life.

Maybe it’s just my impression of being 21 and what being an adult means. In reality, I can make it whatever I want. Which is what I am going to do. So I’m going to forget about all the things about being 21 I don’t really care about and define it for myself.

As a 21 year old I’m going to have the most fun I’ve ever had in my life.

This last year being 20 I spent a majority well, all of that time cleaning up my mental health. I literally don’t have depression or anxiety anymore. It’s unreal. So, I’m proud as heck of 20 year old me. I got myself through the darkest most scared parts of my mind and gently coaxed it into being happy pretty much all of the time. Which is honestly, the best present I’ve ever given myself ever. I didn’t kick depressions ass. I soothed depressions heart. I soothed it out of existence and that’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever done ever.

So that means 21 year old me gets to enjoy herself. She gets to live out one of the happiest years of life so far (I intend to continue the increased happy years). She gets to enjoy waking up being excited about the day. She gets to know that everything is always working out for her. She gets to feel good about herself. She gets to experiment with makeup and expressing herself because she finds it fun. She gets to have so much fun.

I am so excited for this next year in my life. I have evolved so much and I feel so much trust in myself and in the universe and I have this feeling, this inner knowing, that this next year is going to be filled with so much more to be joyous about then I can imagine! Every moment I am embodying more and more to be the woman that I desire to be. So whatever happens this year I’m ready.

I had fun today. I may have had to work, but I had a wonderful breakfast and an awesome vanilla latte and my mom actually surprised me with a gift of nail polish and an eyeshadow as I’ve been interested in playing with makeup recently and I always wear nail polish. I know I’m probably not going to wear it everyday. I just want to have fun with it and I feel that’s worth exploring.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

What Christmas Means to Me

Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. It’s magic and joyous and kind. It’s as much the gifts you get as the gifts you give, yet as I’ve gotten old enough to go out and buy my own gifts for people, it’s the look on someone’s face when I give them something they really love that puts the biggest smile on my face.

Everyone on this earth wants to feel joy and happiness and to feel cared for. Christmas is the time where I really feel and see that all around me.

Then there is the romantic parts of it. Mistletoe and ice skating dates, drinking egg nog or a peppermint mocha with someone your getting to know, feeling that romantic pull in your heart. It’s a beautiful thing and it makes me feel excited, because I’ve never experienced that in person before and love during the holidays feels like it’s sprinkled with that little extra spice of magic.

People change during this time of year. There is more kindness. More remembering that we really are all in this life together and we are all deserving of being treated well. A lot of people donate time to feeding the homeless and more people give a little extra to those in need. More people are willing to give the benefit of the doubt and understand that mistakes are human.

This time of year is special. The decorations all around are gorgeous. There is a festive spirit you can feel in the energy of the people around you. I’ve seen so many guys wearing Christmas sweaters this year… so so many. More then the girls and I thought to myself, “the men really came through in terms of spirit this year and I want to hug every single one wearing one of those sweaters because I’m so proud. All of the women too while I’m at it. The Christmas cheer ends nowhere in my heart.”

But, what I’m most happy to say here is that this has been my favorite Christmas so far. It’s been happier then any other Christmas I’ve had and it’s because I’m happier now then I’ve ever been. Every single day of my life recently has been so joyful and full of life that it baffles me. I’m treating myself the way I always deserved to be treated. I follow my joy at all times. I follow my excitement at all times. Everything is working out for me. I’ve never appreciated myself or life in general more.

This Christmas feels so rich. Rich in happy moments with my family. Rich in dancing. Rich in singing until I got my annual sinus issues and even that hasn’t been bad at all. I’ve never had such a good time while my nose and throat were acting up in my entire life. I’m so deliriously and wonderfully happy and I know there is no end to it in sight. I know that my life is just going to get better and better. There is so much good to experience. So much music to fall in love with. So many books to read and movies to watch. So much to laugh about. I feel so blessed this Christmas and I know it’s a feeling I will have for the rest of my life.

Christmas is like all the best parts of life to me. I can only explain it as these visions of beautiful moments in my head. Moments like when I gave the item in my hand to a woman who was looking to buy that item and didn’t know where to find it. Then I just went back and got another one to buy myself. Moments like one of the guys that work as a janitor taking out the trash from my store so I didn’t have to do it myself. Then another time me holding the door open for the same guy when I was on my way to storage (which he didn’t want to accept at first.. which made my eyes roll, but I digress). Moments like my sister tickling me when I was trying to get her to fist bump my hand and us both ending up laughing tell we started coughing because it was all too much. Moments like picking out a free ornament from World Market with my family and finding the most beautiful animal ornaments to hang on the tree.

Christmas is a beautiful time of year. Filled with the taste of peppermint and lots of music and cheer. I love it with every fiber of my being and I appreciate so much Christmas this and every year.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

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Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

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Till next time!

My Christmas Playlist!

I love music and dancing. I love listening to good music almost more then anything else. I listen to so much music and so much variety of music that most turn up a brow when they know I’m that small percentage of people who max out the Spotify limit and makes a ginormous playlist instead of liking songs, because it doesn’t let me like them anymore because I’ve liked way too many.

This year I shared with all of you my Halloween playlist and since then that playlist has grown as my playlists always do, but that just means I have new music to share for next year!

However, this post is about my Christmas playlist! I have some classics, some new songs, but all the joyful songs of the season! I made sure that my Christmas playlist was as positive as possible. Music that makes me feel alive. Music that makes me dance and sing and feel joy. I love that having played this at my work that my coworkers and I have had some good laughs dancing along to the music and that it’s been such a good time.

This Christmas is going to be one of my favorites. I can feel that deep in my heart. It’s started off with a bang and I’m excited for all that the season will bring.

On to the music!!

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

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Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter!

Till next time!

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

I Am Excited!!!

I’m in a different place in my life. I’ve had posts before where I felt this excitement in bursts. Posts where I was feeling happy and I was just grateful to have felt that way after so much hurt. I’ve talked about feeling so proud of myself, because I did it! I brought my own mind out from the pit hole it was in and re-evaluated everything to the death and prioritized myself and made sure I was ok.

I did that. Yes people were there for me. But, at the end of the day I was so depressed that I couldn’t even register those who were in my corner or not. But, I let myself feel. I let myself get out all that pain that was built inside and I slowly re-started my life and took things day by day and now I’m here. I’m excited! So excited for life and all that life has in store for my future.

The past few weeks have been the most consistent I’ve been in maintaining my joy and allowing and trusting that good things are coming and that they are happening in my life and they have been. Right now I feel like I’m at the cusp of something amazing and life changing in my life. I’ve felt that consistently for a while now. I feel like all of a sudden I’m going to turn around and everything in my life will be completely changed.

To be completely honest, I haven’t felt this way since I first was speaking with and getting to know my ex. Every single moment with him in my life had this feeling of goodness. This feeling that I’m feeling right now. I hope that wherever he is that he feels that too. That he’s happy and feeling good about life and feeling excited for his future. I never felt this sort of excitement on a day to day bases before him and feeling it now with my life in a completely different place is a true and undeniable blessing.

If any of you have ever heard it the song “I wish you well” it’s the sentiment I have. Maybe not all the lyrics exactly, but definitely the I wish you well part. Not just for him, but for everyone! I wish everyone to live their best lives doing things they love and doing it with people they love weather that’s romantically, familially, with friends, or co-workers. I just wish you all so much wellness. Whatever that means to you.

I was hard on myself for so many months. But, through that fire I learned so so much about myself. I’ve grown so much and I feel nothing, but love in my heart. I’m having fun in my life now. I’m taking everyday as an opportunity to learn something new or to do something I always wanted to. Weather that’s playing with makeup or being able to ask for something when I want it or actually buying that sweater I’ve had my eye on. I’m having fun in my life. I’m following whatever brings me the most joy and having fun.

I have some fun plans for the Christmas season and I’m getting into the Christmas mood seemingly way too early. But, for now I’m getting sleepy so I’m going to wrap this stuff up now.

Thank you. Truly thank you! For reading, for commenting, and for being a part of my journey. It means the world to me.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagram and Twitter!

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

This is Your Sign!

I see this a lot on the inter-webs. Posts, images, and descriptions saying this is your sign! Your sign to go out and do that thing that you’ve been procrastinating about. Your sign to ask out that certain someone that has caught your eye or to reconcile with someone you thought you lost.

I think the biggest part of these posts is that whatever that first thing thing that popped up I’m your mind was is the thing that this is talking about.

So what is it? What is it that you’ve been afraid to say or pursue that 10 seconds of straight bravery couldn’t change? Because once you set it into motion and it’s something you care about and desire to act upon then what really could go wrong?

A lot of times it’s the starting something up that is the hardest part, but once you get going that’s when.the ease comes in. That’s when you feel like why did I ever worry about this at all?

Either way what is that thing inside that is stopping you from going to that place you want to be at right now? What truly is in the way? And what can you do right now to change your own circumstances? What small little thing can you do to start getting you from where you are to where you want to be?

Maybe it’s as simple as saying a hello. Or asking for a friend for support while you seek help on something that’s been bothering you. Maybe it’s committing to a new workout routine or diet. Maybe it’s walking up and applying for that job you actually want.

Whatever action your inspired to take trust yourself. Trust your intentions and don’t get discouraged if something turns out in an unexpected way. The biggest part is reaching out and taking steps towards what you want and who you want to be. There’s no mistakes when on a journey stemming from the heart. So follow your heart and see where that takes you.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Wolfe Creek Candle website and Instagram!

Another 30 days of Yoga

I gave myself a few days rest after completing my last 30 day yoga challenge and I’m getting right back into it with another fightmaster yoga challenge for beginners!

October 3rd, 2019

Day 1: Remnant of the last day 1. Just a peaceful soft start and a good reminder to feel good in my body. To come back to peace of mind and feeling like all is well.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/CRZmGnF382c

October 5th, 2019

Day 2: I accidentally forgot to do this yesterday. But, I’m back at it today and I’m happy to enter into another yoga challenge. This video was a reminder of the very basics. Which is good because one of the biggest parts of yoga for me is the mental part. Always being present in the moment and how I think while practicing is important. My mind wandered a lot today, but that’s ok, by the end I was fully in the moment and practicing this way more and more will help with my often wandering mind.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/wITgM-N1PcY

October 6th, 2019

Day 3: Today was short and peaceful. I didn’t put my knees down for the vinyasas because I’m used to them already. In general today I felt so good in my body. I tried to do my first full push-up in my life today and I succeeded. It’s such a small thing, but I’ve been wanting to be able to do so for so long! It’s so nice that the practice that got me the strength for it has been yoga. Even if something doesn’t happen right away it doesn’t mean never. One step at a time and you will achieve amazing things!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/2qqw5AeqQz8

October 7th, 2019

Day 4: The short practices feel extra short after being used to the 30 min classes. However, it does help me get into a state of mindfulness and peace and I think that’s the most important thing. Today I progressed my forward fold where I could touch my big toe if I lift it up with my back straight. My sister made fun of me because she said it was cheating, but I’m proud of my progress nonetheless.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/FBl-7zxH0v0

October 8th, 2019

Day 5: Today was a little more intense. Plank with my forearms down always has my whole body shaking. I enjoy a good day of core work. I’m happy to continue on a practice that helps my strength and my flexibility.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/iZIvBi0AJkc

October 9th, 2019

Day 6: Another gentle practice. There was more vinyasas, but the time went by so fast that it felt like a good warm up instead of the usual shake fest. I almost didn’t make it to practice today. It’s a good reminder not to get lost in playing too much Town of Salem. I’m way too addicted to that game.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/Fkvb3sgB6dc

October 10th, 2019

Day 7: I just want to say how much I love doing this! There wasn’t any standing today, but I was practicing touching my toes on my own and I can finally do it with my back straight! After less than two months of practicing yoga and one of the biggest things for me has been achieved. I’ve been made fun of for my inability to touch my toes. Finally being able to do so without any pain is such a great feeling. I’m so proud!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/mFg2QJYn5yo

October 11th, 2019

Day 8: The past few days have been productive in a I’ve grown up and have to do adult things kind of way. The boringish taking care of setting up personal accounts and talking with insurance people and setting up a lot of stuff. Doing yoga has become something I do 100% for myself to stay grounded gain perspective and has allowed me to see the good in the seemingly boring activities that I’ve actually been pretty proud of myself for doing. There is something great about getting yourself put together in all ways.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/KOkTu6qngrY

October 12th, 2019

Day 9: Today while practicing a lot of things in my life felt clearer than normal. I realized that I felt ok within myself and how things are right now. Even though I know my life is changing and will continue to change I’m happy and ok in this transition period of the unknown. I’m proud of just being myself and my refusal to give up on life. I’m healthy. Actually healthy, mind, body, and soul. I remained patient with myself and I’m finally standing and seeing how far I’ve come. I don’t have depression anymore and I’ve come to be able to combat any triggers to my anxiety like a pro. I feel good. Really good. I brought myself out of the darkest my mind had ever been. I truly am grateful I showed up for myself. It even shows with how I care for myself everyday and am not afraid to buy something I like when I see it. I am my own warrior and I am unbelievably proud.
Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/ymNC71KWY1M

October 13th, 2019

Day 10: Sometimes after a really good day things don’t go exactly as planned. Today was one such day, but doing this instead of giving in to apathy and realizing that one bad day isn’t going to ruin the rest of them. Practicing yoga is a reminder that I have a choice in every moment to look at the bright side and not let a negative period dictate how I see things. I can overcome it. Each and every day.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/lJ0G8RgYI6w

October 14th, 2019

Day 11: Lots of twists today! Which felt amazing on my back. My spine feels so good after today’s practice. I’m in a very happy mood today and I’m so grateful for it! I attribute a lot of the peace I find in my life recently to my decision to practice yoga. It’s always the time of day my mind is clearest. I’m loving the practice!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/5wG-RKX-2Xg

October 15th, 2019

Day 12: she did a variation on a yoga pose today that I hadn’t done before so I messed it up a little, but I got it eventually. I did my practice today with a charcoal face mask on so it felt like a double dose of self care. Today was quite the productive day! We shall see what tomorrow brings.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/Rt3s0q8-YTA

October 17th, 2019

Day 13: I didn’t practice yesterday and I almost didn’t practice today. But, every time I decide to even when I don’t really feel like it I remember why I enjoy it so much. It’s peaceful for me. It helps me to feel ok with where I’m at as a person. It’s part of how I care for myself.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/FWHVtB7zEq4

October 18th, 2019

Day 14: today was a mediation day which felt so good after working hard all day today. This yoga practice is slowly changing my life. I’m truly grateful for it.

October 19th, 2019

Day 15: Today was a good ab workout. I don’t know if it’s just that I was tired today or what, but after I finished I had a tear on my face and I don’t know why? I wasn’t sad or anything, but a tear came anyway.

October 20th, 2019

Day 16: I practiced in the morning today. In the morning my body is a little more stiff, but still it’s not as bad as it used to be. Overall a nice smooth practice today.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/AOYL5MTVsGI

October 21st, 2019

Day 17: In general, this time around it’s been a general yoga flow with bit too many new things thrown in. What’s been good about that is that this practice has been more about a good mental state than anything else. Being healthy in the mind shapes the way you see everything around you. The peace I find practicing yoga is incredible. It feels so good.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/GttbhZ1mQkU

October 22nd, 2019

Day 18: I love feeling the increase to my arm strength. I have so much more control over slowly lowering myself down then I had before. The most minute of progress is still progress and it should be celebrated!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/lPEEnsyME-E

October 23rd, 2019

Day 19: Today felt pretty tough for some reason. I also felt a weird construction in my throat that felt like stuck energy that wanted to be released. I know that by tomorrow or a few days from now that should feel a lot better. Other then that I really worked my core today. Maybe I’ll do a morning practice tomorrow.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/b-k4RH5BA-0

October 24th, 2019

Day 20: Today also made me tear up. I don’t know what it is about practicing recently, I end up shedding a few tears. I’m not sad about much of anything really right now, but the practice brings it out anyway.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/cgL75KRUfM0

October 25th, 2019

Day 21: During this meditation I cried a bit. Because it was about love. Imagining people you love, people you see from day today, people you dislike, your family members, pets, etc.. you tell all these people that you wish them well, that you want them to be happy and healthy and you do this too while imagining yourself. It’s a very powerful meditation. At one point my ear started ringing… and it isn’t the first time that’s happened while I meditated (even if it doesn’t mean anything). All around a powerful experience.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/ZUsRp3pofPQ

October 28th, 2019

Day 22: I am so happy! I accomplished both sides of the side plank! I was shaking like crazy, but I held it and I couldn’t before. I’m kinda glad that I took two days off. I didn’t really want to, but I did need a break.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/DadDEOPIWB0

October 29th, 2019

Day 23:
Today’s practice felt really good in my body. I felt like I stretched everything deeply and my body feels warm and comfortable. All around a great practice!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/deTfbPqrEqk

November 6th, 2019

Day 24: So it’s been over a week since I continued this challenge. Partially, that’s because I was super excited to put on some make-up for Halloween. Partially, it’s because I knew I was going to six flags on the 3rd for Halloween. But mostly, it’s because I had the first depressive episode I have had in a long time. It started at the end of November 1st and lasted until today. I spent that time mostly watching Scream Queens and distracting myself with playing Town of Salem and reading a book for a book tour review. All this to say.. I’m doing better today. I didn’t really have an intention of starting back everything till tomorrow, but I knew that if I wanted to feel better I needed to get back into things as soon as possible. Some personal stuff happened and it freaked me out, but I know we’ll push through and in a few months things will settle down again. This is probably the fastest I’ve ever pulled myself out of a depressive spiral and I’m super proud of myself for it. I’m dedicated to my well being and mental health. So if I have to keep pulling myself out of spirals a thousand times until they are no more I will. Because they are lessening and that is something I am truly grateful for. On another note, today’s practice was intense. A strength workout for my first time back over a week wasn’t as fun as you’d think. But, I still did it and that’s worth a whole lot.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/lpqW_GOgHpQ

November 7th, 2019

Day 25: I feel a thousand times better today. This workout felt amazing. I realized I could do a deeper happy baby. My body felt open. I felt the negative energy from worry and depression I talked about yesterday melt away. I feel so much better.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/JMd4HHHwy_g

November 8th, 2019

Day 26: My arms felt pretty tired today. Today’s practice was a little more difficult. However, there was a lot of downtime and I did take some extra breaks so it was definitely doable. I’m feeling much better overall today and I’m excited for what tomorrow will bring!

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/ZzDKrGr6J3o

November 9th, 2018

Day 27: I thought I would be exhausted today because I worked 8 hours, but I’m not. The past couple of practices have felt intense and this was no exception.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/IwAdoSYgWWE

November 10th, 2019

Day 28: I want to go back to this meditation anytime in my life where I’m feeling down or out of sorts. It is a beautiful mediation full of truths we don’t always want to believe for ourselves. I loved it. It brought me a lot of peace.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/hKw9lpBSTIk

November 11th, 2019

Day 29: Today’s practice felt so so good. My back feels wonderful. My mind feels peaceful. I loved every second of it. I’ve noticed recently that my hips have opened up a lot and that I can go deeper into a lot of the hip-opening stretches. I also noticed that as excited as I am for every little piece of progress I am also quite happy with where I’m at currently. This includes in my general life as well. A lot of the time I’m concerned with when something will happen for me in my life, but not so much anymore. I’m pretty happy with how things are right now and that’s saying a lot.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/icxACBM5DC8

November 12th, 2019

Day 30: Another practice that simply felt amazing! It’s the end of another 30 days of yoga and I might not have done it all consecutively, but I did do it to the best of my ability. I feel my body being stronger, lighter, and more at peace than ever. It’s one of the best gifts I could have ever given myself.

Workout of the day: https://youtu.be/jbCK8BwSVtw

All in all: I’m grateful to have committed myself to this experience. This time was more tumultuous then it has been previously, but that’s ok. It happens. But, in the end it helped me learn a few things about myself and continue to grow as a person.

Thank you all for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!

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