Watching: Story From North America

Last night before I was deciding to go to bed, my boyfriend decided to send me a lot of love through sharing a bunch of YouTube videos with me. Just as I had watched a good amount and was about to say goodnight he sent me one last short one, “Story From North America” and I decided alright just one more and I watched it. It was so beautiful and unique. The imagery is creepy and a little scary for those scared of spiders, but the message it gave was a beautiful one. I adored watching this.

Here is a link to “Story From North America”

Something I loved about this too was that my boyfriend hates spiders, but he also shared an appreciation for this story and the message that life even arachnid life is precious. Also, that this was a way that I have thought so many times before especially when I was a kid. Bugs our living creatures too and how would I like it if a hand came from the sky and squished me? Especially when I was minding my own business? It’s definitely not a happy thought, yet it’s what we do to bugs all the time.

But, I can also think of times where infestation happens and it is important to remove and kill bugs that as making a home in your house when their numbers could do harm to you. But as far as a single spider here and there they are actually good because they’ll eat the other bugs naturally. Safely putting them outside to just be is most of the time a good idea.

What I also loved about this is that its told in song form and the lyrics are pretty catchy. I’ve only watched it twice through and the lyrics are already sticking with me enough to quote a bit from the song. It’s in a style of music that reminds me of a children’s song. Repetitive to drive home the message and also to convey the overall feelings and tones of various parts of the song.

God, I highly recommend watching this. It’s only 4 minutes and it’s so damn good. So thought provoking and the imagery is incredible. I won’t get over the way she conveys the boys anger with his rapid movement it’s such a neat moment. This is truly art.

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Inspiration from Old Places

Randomly I was having a conversation with my boyfriend and Wattpad came up. It was a site I used to read so many books on, but also it is the place where I wrote my first ever book. It is short and bite sized and it is called “Confessions of a Teenage Writer”

I wrote this while hoping to finish at least one other draft of a novel. Yet, this became the first thing I ever finished and I’ve only finished one other draft of something since.

Looking back and reading the comments on this book made me want to sob. I hadn’t really looked at this book or anything on Wattpad since 2016. Yet, when I wrote it I realized I had effected others. I had accomplished what I had wanted to do so badly and so early on.

People had connected with my work. They had thought it beautiful. They’d encouraged me to keep writing, but in their eyes I already was a writer. The titles I have not thought I could claim for myself in recent years, but I am both writer and author. Again I feel the tears come.

Lately, I have been able to start the process of writing again. Currently, my project is in the idea phase. I truly don’t know much about it and it’s come in bits and pieces. Lately, everything in my life has felt like a gentle stream nudging me back to the passion I have had for so many years, to write.

For a single day at my work there was a young girl that came and of all things she wanted to be a writer. She worked for a day only. Yet, listening to her. Hearing how she hadn’t finished anything because she had all these ideas in her head and couldn’t commit to one I felt so inspired and nostalgic for who I was when I first began writing. It felt electrifying to remember and to understand that this was me coming back home to myself.

It’s felt like the universe has been telling me it’s ok. It’s ok that I needed the time I did, but the time is right now. It’ll be ok.

For now, my toes feel like they are dipping in this water. Preparing for the way I will wish to go. Where I will begin.

So, I have begun here. Waking up at 5:30 in the morning to write blog posts. I’ve started reading again. Started to think about an idea and build it out. All these things will soon build out and eventually I will be flowing in this gentle river until I make small stops on my journey when I finish the first draft, when I’m editing, when I’m hoping to see if there’s a home in publishing for my story, and again starting a whole new idea.

I am here. I am ready. I am inspired and hopeful. The best yet I am smiling. I appreciate so much the younger version of me who went for writing so head on and with such passion. Who read books every single day and couldn’t imagine she’d breath well in a day without at least ingesting a single chapter. Turns out for the most part it became true. I haven’t been able to come back to myself for so long. Now is the time. I want to shout that. Now is the time!

This feels so wonderful.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources:

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

A Retry of An Old Routine

Hello everyone!

Right now for me it is almost 6 am. I woke up at 5:30 this morning and it’s the first time I’ve done so in well over a year. Once upon a time, this was how I was able to complete all my goals for the day and be able to nap later on and have a few hours of pure enjoyment in the nighttime!

When I wake up like this I always get my writing done. Later on in the day it’s easy for me to feel exhausted after work and say it’s time to relax and I don’t blame myself. It is the time to allow myself some peace. So the solution is to wake up earlier.

From now on, I should be able to post far more often, even daily. This blog was always meant to have very frequent posts and while for a while I needed to let myself be, it’s time to come back to my passions.

So that’s why even though it’s earlier then I’ve gotten up in ages and I should be sleepy right now, I am excited. I am smiling. I am ready to go after my dreams.

Thank you all for coming along this journey with me! It’s going to be wonderful every step of the way.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter!

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

I Need to Catch Up

I have so much on my plate right now. So much I want to do. So much I want to read. My tbr is so long and it feels at this point I won’t catch up, but I want to try.

One of the things that’s been weighing on me is this feeling of overwhelment that comes over me especially with the hours I’m working and just how much there is to do. I can’t quite do as much in a day as I used to. My mind is drained. My body wanting rest.

Yet, there’s that guilt I feel because I want so much to read and review those books I have because I know I’ll love so many of them and I know how much reviews mean to publishers and authors alike.

Right now, I’m taking things day by day. I need to. I keep taking every moment that is hard and piling it on top of the other and I can’t keep doing that to myself.

This is my promise to myself. To take it all step by step. To do the very best I can and to give my mine the rest it needs. To focus on feeling better and just slowly working through what I have and building a new momentum in my life.

For now I’ll start by finishing the library book I’m reading “The Lamb Will Slaughter The Lion”. Then read “Saints and Misfits” because I have limited time to read it. Then, finish “The Unstoppable Wasp” because I’m pretty close to finishing that one and it’s a Sam Maggs book and I love her.

As for starting to write a book. I think I’ll make it a point that every day, once I’m fully ready to go for the day I spend at least 15 minutes writing. Otherwise, I’ll make excuses and it won’t happen. I know exactly which book is calling to me to write right now. So, all that’s left to do is give myself that time.

Thank you all for reading! I feel so much better after writing this. I can do this. It’ll all be in time.

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

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Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

A Month Without Complaining

I have noticed that I do a fair bit of complaining. That sometimes, I’ll get so upset that that’s all I’ll talk about are things that don’t feel good to me. I want to see if by challenging myself to be more positive and to not being a focus on something discomforting that I’ll be able to more often discuss and focus on the things that do feel good.

I want to see how my life changes if anything at all changes in the next 30 days. Just keeping in mind in each moment to focus on what’s good about a situation. To ease the way I converse with others. I’m curious about how my relationships will change too. If things will become more playful or just feel better in general.

It’ll be an interesting experiment. So from now on to March 20th I will not complain. And if I do a little at least I’ll make a conscious effort to stop and change the way I’m talking about whatever I’m talking about in a more positive way.

I’ll track how my day went over the next 30 days and how things feel. Name the good things. Talk about if I slipped up or if I’m doing particularly well about it. It’ll be a good challenge for my mental health.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

New Beginning

Yesterday, I had a depressive episode. It felt like everything I wanted to do I couldn’t do for one reason or another. That my life was full of stresses at every turn and I could not handle any more of it. So many of my goals I’ve wanted to achieve I’ve let go of because life just is so much right now. Every turn another obstacle to face. Another thing that made me want to turn into myself and just watch something funny or play a game for hours to just feel that bit of relief.

I have bottled up my emotions for so long that last night it tipped over and I broke down. However, I know my life is in my hands. That I can chose to take a new path. Hit the reset button. Go another way. So that’s what I’m going to do.

I’m going to prioritize the things I’ve been wanting to do for ages. Reading, writing, exercise, but also maintaining a place in my mind of well-being. To make sure I’m taking care of my mental health and actually enjoying what I can of life.

The past few months have been all about that enjoyment, but in between that, the moments I’d forget. The moments my mind remembered that stuff is hard. That I’m living a life where things could change completely and flip me around again in a moments notice. That one day I’ll wake up and my dad will no longer be here. Which has been the route of a lot of the sadness I’ve been feeling. Watching my dad deteriorate more and more all the time.

Yet, I want to live a good and happy life. I want to show my family that I can create something wonderful for myself. To write something I’d be excited to read. To inspire others to follow their passions. To be an uplifter whether that’s in my home or walking in a grocery store or having a small interaction online.

So today and the next and the next will be my new beginnings. My next chance to do what I’ve intended to do with passion and with love. I want things to be better in all aspects of my life. To have the timing of a dancer moving from one moment to the next with a sense of joy. I don’t just want to take action through life with a sense of obligation. I want to take action with fervor. With joy and with excitement. With a sense of ease.

So that’s what I’m going to do. To let go of the sense that I’m doing things out of obligation. But, to take action in a feeling of love. That starts here in this moment, writing this post, with that feeling that I can do this. That I can be a person who lives with joy in their hearts in spite of the hard stuff. To handle those things and give love to them as well. To cry when I need to but not let it define me and stop me from living a life of vibrancy.

So to the many of you who’ve been reading my blog for a long time and who seen me disappear and reappear again and again, I can say that I am finally back. Fully and truly back. This blog has brought to me some of the most amazing moments of my life. It’s where I’ve felt the most like I do in this moment. Fully alive. Fully enjoying the things I love and getting excited and sharing these moments with all of you.

Thank you all of you for reading! I truly appreciate every one of you. There is so much more to come and I can’t wait to share all that’s in store in the coming days, weeks, and months. It’ll be a blast!

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

February Goals

February is a lovely month. There’s Valentine’s Day to celebrate with the ones you love. It’s typically a shorter month, but it does feel sweet.

This month, I want to enjoy everything that I can. I’ve already started it off by finishing futurama season 2. I’m excitedly going through my remaining story quests on Genshin Impact to prepare for the new update that’ll bring in lots of new and fun stuff and events. Version 1.3 is going to be amazing!

I also want to get back into a workout routine this month so I will be beginning a yoga workout program. Working on my flexibility and strength at the same time will be great for me.

The two books I’m hoping to finish reading this month are “The Unstoppable Wasp” by Sam Maggs and “Shadow and Bone” by Leigh Verdugo in preparation for when the new Netflix series comes out.

I’m getting back into taking my bookstagram pictures and I’m enjoying that so far. As, well as doing Duolingo Spanish more consistently.

Mostly, this month will be about feeling good and also getting back to many of the things that bring me joy.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Sorta My Goals for 2021

What I want for 2021 has very little to do with any sort of thing I want to obtain or do in the tangible accomplishment kind of way. More in a mental change kind of way.

2020 felt like a building up of a lot of things to be fearful and anxious of. I want to instead use that as a reason to turn into myself and panic to start turning outward and enjoy the things I have in my life now. Loving more. Laughing more. All of course in a safe and socially distant manner. Enjoying the games I’ve come to love. Reading more again. Being happier.

I want to be one who celebrates all the good things in my life instead of complaining about what’s bad. Cause falling into despair only causes hurt and 2020 had enough of that.

My goodreads challenge this year is 1 book. I am not putting pressure on myself to do anything in particular. Just to enjoy and love more and decrease my life’s stresses.

Any goals this year I won’t be making right now. Whatever, accomplishments I make will be bonuses. This year I just want to feel like I can breath.

I hope that for all of you, your 2021 is a better year. We all deserve it.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

If you love my content and wish to offer me extra support by me a Kofi on my donation page!

Good Riddance to 2020

2020 was an awful year. I think all of us can agree on that. It’s also been a particularly strange year. There’s been some questionable things that have happened this year.

I’m happy to say good bye to 2020. I can’t say I’m not terrified of what’s to come. There’s certain things that I know have to come eventually and currently I’m not ready for it. Christmas Day my dad had to be taken to the hospital. He has been battling cancer for a long while now and we learned that the tumor has made his prostate the size of a small watermelon when it’s only supposed to be the size of a walnut. Which causes all kinds of complications in the body.

Also, the doctors never told us if his cancer has spread or not. Or if his bleeding was solely because his prostate is so large. Also, the fear of my mom taking my dad to the emergency room as Covid is out of control was some of the most terrifying anxiety I’ve ever experienced. The good news is he is home now and they are going to figure out if he is viable for surgery or not.

Fear. Fear for me is what drove 2020. Fear and hope and just doing my best to be happy and somehow having those wonderful happy moments I’ll cherish forever within this year.

This year has been exhausting and yet I’ve looked forward to each day because yes the world is terrible right now, but I can’t let myself seek in too despair constantly because what’s the point otherwise? I take comfort in the things I can do. The moments I can enjoy. Because those moments are what make life worth living.

This year I found a wonderful person I love and friends that have been amazing. People who have all made me laugh and feel a little lighter. People I’m proud to have by my side.

Covid has changed the world. Both slowed down and accelerated my life. Made me terrified and yet made me want to love those around me harder.

It’s a terrible year and yet it’s changed my life in good ways too. I have memories I’ll cherish for the rest of my life from this year. Yet, moments that will forever be remembered by the anxiety and fear I felt while living them.

2020 has brought out a lot of the worst in many people. A lot of a ‘who cares’ attitude that puts families like mine at risk. That fear will carry into 2020, because the pandemic isn’t over and I know it won’t be for a long while.

I’m happy to have the people in my life I have in my corner. Together, we’ve survived 2020. That in and of itself is enough of an accomplishment.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

If you love my content and wish to offer me extra support by me a Kofi on my donation page!

September Goals

September is a month I’m really focusing on setting achievable goals for each day and commuting to them. Some things I want to try to do daily and other things will be just for that day. I wanted to start on a lot of the daily things I wanted to incorporate today, but ultimately that didn’t happen. Instead, me and my family went out to do some important errands and did a little shopping and then went to get the car cleaned and so by the end I deemed that today not the time to jump into a bunch of stuff that I simply wouldn’t be able to finish in my state.

So my one thing for today is looking for a better hair care routine and it’s been more difficult to try and find something good for me then I thought and there’s so much information that I’m lost. I have dandruff issues and coarse straight hair. Finding something that would help out my scalp health and also help the health of my hair and smooth it out and make it shiny is a task.

This month I also know of two books I want to finish and review and I’m almost done with both so that’s a blessing.

The first of which is ‘So You Want To Talk About Race’ by Ijeoma Oluo!

I want to continue educating myself on issues of race and how I can help with dismantling issues of racism starting with a look at myself, my privilege as a white woman, and my biases. Reading this book so far has helped me understand a few situations that I didn’t quite grasp before and re-introduced me to concepts I had looked into in the past. I’m excited to finish it! It’s been a great read so far.

The second book is an advanced readers copy that I’m very much behind on called ‘The Lost City’ by Amanda Hocking.

I’m exactly the same amount through with it as I am in ‘So You Want To Talk About Race’ at 61% percent through. This book so far has been interesting, but definitely not nearly on the same level as ‘So You Want To Talk About Race’, but they are so different in topic and everything else they are pretty incomparable. I do think this book is cute. But, I am kind of sad that there really hasn’t been much movement in it yet. A bunch of searching for her history and figuring out who exactly this friend is that the kid she’s taking care of brought to their apartment with her.

I do want to do some drawing this month. Also some language learning and math learning as well. I’m a bit of a nerd so I like to go on Khan Academy and see how many lessons I can do in 30 minutes. It keeps my mind going and feeds the part of me that misses school.

I want to post daily on the blog as much as I can. It’s nice to share my thoughts like this again. I’ve missed it.

I AM going to be writing as much as I can towards my first draft this month. I was going to write today, but by now it’s a little late for that. So, hopefully tomorrow.

I am also going to be starting a daily exercise routine. Mixing days doing this really cool and fun 30 day challenge of doing shuffle dances and redoing a basic yoga routine. I’d stoped exercising for a while cause I needed to protect my arm cause I got the birth control implant! Which I’m really happy about and let me know if you have any questions about that or if your interested in me doing a post about my experiences being on it so far. I’d love to share!

So yee! This month I have a ton of stuff planned. Lots of different things I’m going to do in so many different areas. I’m happy about all of them and I can’t wait to share how things went at the end of the month!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!!

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

If you love my content and wish to offer me extra support by me a Kofi on my donation page!