I Need Some Positivity

Today has been a particularly rough day today. I don’t really care to discuss it, but I’d love if you guys could share either a positive story or video you like or links to some cute animal pics I’d very much appreciate.

If you don’t mind let me know and I’ll put a post together of all the messages, videos, stories, and pictures as a pick me up post for anyone who needs it.

That’s all I got for today. I’m pretty exhausted.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

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365 days of Blogging: Can I Do it?

I asked this question to myself the other day and got started on it. I was curious? What would it do to my blog if I posted everyday? What would my stats end up looking like? Would it help me to do so. In some of my darker moments blogging and writing out what was going on and how I was feeling helped me to feel sane. It grounded me and gave me something to focus on that was good.

This community has been the kindest most welcoming and powerful communities I’ve ever been a part of. It became more then about writing about books and sharing that passion. It became a place where I could be myself and say what was on my mind regardless of the day. If I needed to talk about something I could here and that’s one of my favorite parts of blogging.

So I wonder, if starting today I blogged every single day for a year, how would it change me? What would change for me because of it? What relationships would I build and what people would I get to know through doing this? How much would I get to discuss? What stories would I get to share? In what ways would I challenge myself?

That is my motivation for wanting to try. Ultimately, I know I could. I could see myself sitting down and writing a blog post every single day. So that’s what I’m going to do. To all of you reading. Thank you for coming on this journey with me. It’ll be a hell of a ride!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

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Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there! I hope you are having a wonderful and joyous day.

It’s rare for me to get a picture with my mom so this is a special treat from her birthday in February. She is a strong woman in mind and in spirit. I see a lot of that willfulness in myself being raised by her. I love when she laughs and complains about something in a childlike voice. Or when she picks on me when I go to hug her till I laugh.

She always makes sure that me and my sister are taken care of and I appreciate that about her very much. She has a beautiful soul. I love her very much.

I hope everyone is enjoying Mother’s Day in whatever way you all enjoy it within your families. Weather with it’s with your actual mother or just an important woman in your life that you know deserves to be celebrated.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

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Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

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My Inviting In..

One thing I took from Y’all West is something George M Johnson said about instead of coming out you are choosing to invite others in. Sharing a special something about yourself that matters. It’s a beautiful way to think about it.

I’ve thought about doing this for a while. It’s taken time for me to figure out innerly who I am. I spent most of my life pretending to myself that I was straight and well spoilers, but I’m definitely not.

The easier part that I have mentioned slightly is that I’m Demi-sexual which means I need an emotional connection with someone before I’m attracted to them. I blame that part for me taking so long to realize this second part, but I’m also pan-sexual. Feels strange to write it out. Yet, oddly I don’t feel the need to tear up the way I did when I was talking about it with one of my friends.

I’ve called myself straight for so long that I hid my truth to the point where I couldn’t see it despite it staring me dead in the face. I can be attracted to anyone regardless of gender and yes I do love masculinity and I’m a little more attracted to masculine presenting people, but I do find femininity to be attractive as well.

I have considered myself to be an ally for a long time. Just really supportive of the community and knowing that everyone deserves to love and express themselves in a way that aligns with the truth of who they are. It took me time to discover my truth and that’s ok.

So.. I guess all this is to say “Hi! My name is Tiana Wolfe and I’m Demi/pan sexual.” It feels good to say it to read the words and know them to be true. It feels like me.

Thank you all so much for being here. For being a part of my life’s journey. For supporting me. I feel so happy to be on a community where I feel comfortable enough to be open about my truth. You all are truly something special.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

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Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Reclaiming Authenticity: What this Year has been About for me so Far

It’s only been four months into 2020 and so much in my life has changed. Things I thought were real turned out to be lies. I’ve found myself growing more friendships then I have in my entire life. Found someone really special that I care about very much. Learned so much about myself and healed so much that I didn’t realize was still hurting me.

Then, this weekend Y’all West happened and I realized just how much I’ve missed books. I hadn’t felt that passion for books and the community and reading and writing in ages. I felt freed once more. Last year was one where I was in deep pain and I felt like nothing mattered at all and I was desperate to just take care of myself. Now, now I feel like I’m ready to move forward again. To be myself again to the full extent that I was always meant to.

It’s been so crazy because I’ve had to face my fears so head on with all that’s come to pass with Quarantine and my dad being at risk with his cancer and just that fear when I went to the store no longer having a car only able to carry what we had in our hands and seeing almost nothing we could use for food on the shelves. I panic messaged my partner in crime and he helped me stay sane in the face of such insanity.

I’ve realized that this year has been all about reclaiming the heart of who I am again. Realizing that I am capable and that I can deal with the difficulties and not make them define who I am. That I can let things go and find ways to be authentic to who I am and my wants and not feel guilty for wanting them.

I couldn’t read or write for so long cause it was such a deep reminder of pain and I couldn’t deal with it. The end of last year I reclaimed my happiness. Now it’s time to reclaim my passion and my authenticity. I know myself very well. Taking a year of just thinking and wondering and you end up learning more about yourself then you ever knew.

My day to day path forward is now so clear to me. I feel so much better and so much more capable then I’ve ever felt. I feel like I can be myself. That I can do what I need to to be happy. To tell stories again. My heart is literally soaring right now. I feel so amazed to be here. I’m just happy to be alive.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

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Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Focus

My life is not the same as it once was, but neither is it the same for anyone else during these times. I had a lapse from myself yesterday and the night before and I’m still learning. I’m still learning to focus on what actually is important.

Right now, there really isn’t anything going on that I can’t handle. There isn’t anything that I haven’t already learned how to deal with and sometimes a lapse in judgement is ok.

My life is going pretty good honestly, all things considered. That’s what I’m going to focus on. All the things that are going well. I have so much to look forward to. So much to enjoy about life in this moment.

I have everything I need to create a life I can be proud to say that I have lived. I have everything I need to do something wonderful with my life. So that’s what I’m going to focus on. Being my best self and creating a life I can be proud of.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

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Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Watching Bojack Horseman: Season 4

I watched season 4 of Bojack in a blink of an eye. I’ve become so enamored in the story I’ve been like a kid who can’t wait to see what’s next. And so, very shortly after I’ve written about Season 3 I get to discuss season 4 with all of you… and what a season it was.

The whole first episode took place without Bojack. It felt strange and yet it felt right since he had disappeared himself from everyone else’s lives. Mr. Peanutbutter gets a visit from his ex-wife and she leads him to run for governor. This drives Diane crazy and she tries often to call Bojack and tell him what’s going on and figure out what happened to him, but he doesn’t answer. So for a while she just continues working and deals with her marital issues on her own.

Then Princess Caroline decides she wants to be a mom and so she starts trying for a baby with her boyfriend Ralph. This is one of the first really great relationships for her and while there were things that showed they weren’t quite a match I enjoyed seeing them together. It was sweet to watch and it showed a lot of growth on Caroline’s part. She’s such a strong character. The one I look up to the most on the show.

In season 4 we also get a lot more Todd. I loved that he got his own episode. Princess Caroline asks Todd to help her out by having him be seen dating celebrity Courtney to help give her a more relatable image.

For Todd this season has been about discovering himself. Having him find his identity and starting to be open about it. I loved the ace rep in the show. It was so open and easy and how it should be accepted out in the world. I especially loved Bojack’s reaction. Although his and Todd’s relationship has been particularly hard. Where Todd has felt used and unappreciated and so theirs a lot of distance between the two, Bojack’s reaction to Todd’s identity is super chill. Such a great thing to see.

Todd is shown to have grown quite the backbone this season and starts creating the life that he wants for himself. He doesn’t see Bojack in the best light and takes steps back from their relationship in this season and honestly I don’t blame him. Todd hadn’t been treated the best by Bojack and Todd got tired of feeling like a doormat and as sad as it is he needed distance from him for the betterment of himself.

After the events and pain from the ending of season 3 Bojack finds himself back at his old childhood home. Here he stays inside and does little things to fix up the place after it had been abandoned for so long. However, nothing really gets done right until Eddie the next door neighbor comes and helps Bojack.

This period of time in Bojack has been one of my favorites to watch. Bojack’s relationship with Eddie is one of two people recognizing each other’s hardship and simply working together through that. I love that Eddie has a past that caused him to recognize what Bojack was going through and for him to have the will to be a friend to him anyway.

Yet it doesn’t end well. They finish the building and Bojack brings people to tear it down. We don’t know what happens with Eddie after that. Especially, after his heartbreak from flying to save Bojack after he jumps from the roof of the house. Eddie hadn’t flown in years after his wife’s passing. It’s one of those stories that captures you with both it’s odd reflects of beauty chipped in with the lumps of sadness.

Season 4 shows a lot of Bojack’s past. Particularly his relationship with his mother, but also his mother’s own experiences growing up. Beatrice is a difficult woman to say the least. She destroyed Bojack’s sense of self-worth from the start. She is manipulative and arrogant. Yet seeing her start of life and knowing that she’s know aged and suffering from increased dementia it’s still sad to watch. She’s an example of someone whose experienced trama and turned it into something that makes it ok to her to treat other people like crap. It’s the saddest thing. There is no good excuse to be a terrible person.

Then Bojack meets Hollyhawk a young girl that believes that she is his daughter. It is quite possibly the first really good relationship I’ve seen Bojack have with anyone. Yes he takes off and does his own thing stemming from his depression, but he genuinely cares about her and does everything in his power to find her mother.

What I loved most about Hollyhawk was how much she brought out the compassion in Bojack. Especially towards his mother. She’s a sweetie pie. She listens to Bojack when he says how horrible his mom is and how he’d been treated, but also gets him to see that he should treat her better. I love her. She makes him a better person.

One of the saddest parts of the show is when he finds out that his mother was giving Hollyhawk diet pills to the point that Hollyhawk needed to be rushed to the hospital. This causes him unable to see her anymore and he frantically goes and takes his mother to a nursing home more angry then he’d ever been at her. His mother ruined the one good relationship that he’d had. A relationship he’d not ruined himself and he was rightfully terribly upset.

When he walks away and leaves her there she remembers who she is and instead of telling her off he gives her something beautiful to think about and it is one of the most beautiful scenes I’ve seen of Bojack so far. Makes me tear up even now. He chooses to be kind to the one who’d been so cruel to him. It’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.

The ending of Season 4 is my favorite. It’s so positive and happy and it made me feel so good inside. Hollyhawk accepts Bojack into her life as her brother and the look on Bojack’s face said it all. It’s one of the most beautiful moments on the show. It made me feel hopeful about Bojack’s future. He’s grown and learned to put someone before himself and healed so much of the past that haunted him. God I loved this season so much.

I’m excited to finally watch Season 5. (I had no real reason to put off writing this other then just not feeling like doing it sadly) However, I’m excited to finally be able to continue watching Bojack’s story. It’s a beautiful one. A sad one, but a wonderful one too.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Thank you Blogging Community

I’m so appreciative of being able to be a part of this community. Sometimes it’s nice just to sit down and write a post about the love I feel for this community.

What’s brought this on at this time is my Bojack Horseman post. I haven’t been posting regularly as much recently and yesterday’s post has been really wonderfully received.

I started this blog as a book blog and as my life has shifted so has what I’ve posted about. I feel like I can be totally myself with blogging. That I don’t have to stay in one area that as my interests shift so can what I post about. It’s a really wonderful thing. I appreciate all of you reading this for that.

I don’t know what this blog will become. I don’t know how I will continue to grow and change as a person, but knowing that I will always be supported along the way is amazing.

Thanks to all of you. Blogging is such a joy for me. The response from yesterday’s post was a reminder of that. I can’t wait to keep posting and see what fresh and new things are on the horizon for me.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Watching Bojack Horseman: Season 1

This show is one of those shows that you watch and it changes you. It’s so real. Hits so hard with what actually happens in real life yet with such absurd imagery that you can’t call watching it any sort of form of escapism. If your watching this show your facing some hard truths. That’s all I can say.

Bojack started his career on a show called Horsin’ Around. One of those adorable family tv series we’ve all grown up watching. After that Bojack lost his way. He hasn’t done much since then and he fills up his emptiness by keeping around him a few people that he cares about.

For one princess caroline his agent. She is his on again off again girlfriend, but most of all she’s always there and does what she can to further his career.

There’s Todd, Bojack’s roommate and closest friend. Bojack tries to keep him a bit codependent which isn’t healthy, but the show really isn’t about showing what a healthy relationship looks like.

Then there is Diane, the girl Bojack loves. She’s in a relationship with a guy he really doesn’t care for Mr. Peanutbutter. Yet, they spend a lot of time together because she becomes the ghostwriter to write about Bojack’s life.

A part of the show is where Bojack is trying to get Mr. Peanutbutter and Diane to break up. Instead his antics end up pushing them further together.

But, the show is about Bojack. The life he’s created for himself and his inner struggle with being a man who isn’t happy and isn’t who he wants to be. He is a portrait of depression. What it does and the actions we take as humans when we are doing are best to take steps away from it. But, also the steps we take under its influence.

One thing I do have to say though is that while living with depression it is all of that. It colors everything in a way that isn’t what it really is. Who Bojack has become because of his depression isn’t all he could be. Yet sometimes, when your stuck and that’s all you see you can’t step away from it enough to acknowledge that. Then the problem perpetuates.

This show is brilliant. Incredibly well styled. Dark in great ways. Yet, it shows that bit of hope that Bojack carries with him. I’m excited to watch the next season and see where the story goes. It is quite the story.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Growing Into A New Mentality

I think that after a year of much spiritual and mental growth it’s time for a new era. An era of happy. I’m ready to be happy. To do me and live my life as free as I can.

This year has started off better then I could’ve imagined. I have so much to be joyful about and so much I just want to enjoy. Knowing I have all the time in the world to enjoy it is wonderful.

I’ve let go of so much. I’m learning to create a new story. I’m learning to give up old patterns and I’ve seen today that I’m still on the way to it. Which is ok. I’m fine with being on my way to everything that I desire. I know that’s how it will be all my life. I’m enjoying now immensely and that’s all that really matters.

I’m still growing into this mentality. Still learning to not push back so much. Learning to be me irregardless of who others are. I’m getting better and better at it everyday. I’m learning that holding on to anything negative at all solves no problems and that letting them go and creating positivity leads to more and more positivity.

I know that growing into this mentality will have some push back from others. Mostly because I’m coming to believe that everything will really be ok. “Reality” as many will want to point out can be sucky, but I wanna focus on the good parts. I know that I’ve done so much of focusing on the negative for way too long.

These past few days in general have been particularly wonderful. I want to focus on that. I want to focus on good times with friends. Wonderful conversations. Knowing that we’re all growing together. I’ve felt really peaceful these past few days. Really calm. Full of knowing. I feel so much clarity.

That’s all of what 2020 will be for me. Happy, full of love, hope for the future, and lots of good times. I can’t believe how good the year has started. I can’t wait to see all the rest that’s in store.

I know things are getting better and better. I’m going to enjoy this life of mine. It’s going to be beautiful.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter